Finding Home

by Meg Harding

  Jaden digested that, thinking of the possible endings to the sentence. It was a raw thing of Zane to say, bluntly personal. “So showing me how the gym operates is an excuse to get me to hang out with you guys?” he asked for clarification. He wanted to be on the same page.

  “Pretty much. And like, we do want you to get a feel for the gym too. We’re passionate about our work and we want to share that.”

  With no clue what he was supposed to do, Jaden took a seat on the thin bench of the bowflex. “All right. Show me how this thing works.”

  Zane’s smile was bright and it transformed his expression. The pep to his tone as he instructed Jaden on what to do, leading him through a routine Zane knew by heart, made the muscle soreness worth it. His brother was absolutely delighted to share this with Jaden, and Jaden knew he’d probably be unable to move normally by the end of the day. Because Jaden wasn't going to be able to tell him no when he was aware it’d make Zane this happy.

  You’re such a sucker, Matthews.

  Chapter 6

  Chase’s first thought upon waking early Friday morning was that he was going on a maybe-kinda-sorta-date with his best friends’ newly found, possibly gay, half-brother. To the type of bar involving people who didn’t ironically wear cowboy boots and a mechanical bull people actually rode.

  It was a lot to process so early in the morning.

  He shifted, planting his face in the pillow and willing himself to return to the land of sleep. He had at least another half hour before his alarm went off and he had to contemplate reality and his decisions.

  It was a half hour spent tossing and turning, the butterflies in his stomach in full flight mode and his brain whirling away with all the possible scenarios for tonight. There was the wonderful one where the night ended in Jaden splayed out, naked of course, on Chase’s bed. Then there was Jaden revealing he was straight and freaking out—Chase in this particular version decided to kiss him on the way home from the bar, because his wishful thinking had led him to believe Jaden was into him. The butterflies felt like they were all simultaneously vomiting with nerves.

  He couldn't say he liked the sensation.

  He kept running into Jaden at the gym, always in passing. They exchanged small smiles. Once, Jaden half-waved before dropping his hand to his side and blushing. Chase was usually on his way to teach, and Jaden was normally following behind Zane or Elliot. There was the time Chase caught Jaden on the treadmill, walking alongside Zane, and he’d stopped to stare at Jaden’s ass in his athletic shorts. Jaden hadn’t seen Chase that time, since Chase had got out of there before he could get caught gawking. For a smaller guy, Jaden had a peach of a butt.

  Just thinking about it caused Chase’s cock to twitch.

  Chase dragged himself from bed when his alarm went off at last, worked through his usual routine, and then grabbed his yoga mat. He needed to center himself before he headed out into the world. It may only be 7:30, but the sun was high in the sky and it was so hot his glasses fogged. This was why he so rarely wore them out of the house. He stretched the mat out beside his pool and then laid on it, unable to see anything through his glasses.

  The sun beating down on him, he began to stretch, blanking his mind of all worries.

  By the time he finished, he was covered in sweat and his stomach was growling with hunger. He had about ten minutes to eat, get dressed, and get his ass to the gym to teach his first Pilates class of the day. He needed to run by Healthy Blends too, to check on things and have a look at the books, but that was going to have to wait till later. If only there were twenty-four more hours in every day. He’d be so productive. Ignoring the reality that he probably needed to cut back on classes rather than taking on more, he snatched a protein bar from the pantry and ate on his way to the car.

  Multitasking for the win.

  The gym was reasonably busy for the hour, and he ran into Jaden at the front doors. Jaden wore Nike shorts that Chase thought belonged to Elliot and a soft blue shirt. The shorts were big, riding low on Jaden’s lean hips. They stopped walking, doing the dance of two people trying to get through a small space and both trying to step aside and forward at the same time. Finally, Chase laughed and moved aside, holding the door wide for Jaden. “You first,” he said, making a sweeping gesture.

  Jaden’s cheeks were a rosy red. “Thanks.” There was moisture beading on the Cupid’s bow of his lips, and his hair was slightly curly at the tips, the humidity already working its magic on his short locks. As Chase watched, he poked his tongue out to swipe along his upper lip. Chase’s stomach dipped. His blood rushed south along with his mind. Jaden had a beautiful mouth. The kind that would look absolutely fantastic around a certain part of Chase’s anatomy. He could picture it now…. Jaden on his knees, striking blue eyes gazing up at him through dark lashes….

  “Are you going to come in?”

  Chase blinked, torn from his inappropriate thoughts. Jaden stood inside the gym, eyebrows raised inquisitively. Chase was holding the door open for no one. Being around Jaden was like being a teenager again. His libido had taken the wheel, and his common sense had fucked off and was nowhere to be found. Great.

  Trying to play it off, he entered, letting the door swing shut behind him. “We still on for tonight?” he asked, aiming for casual, fiddling with the strap of his yoga mat.

  “Uh,” said Jaden. There was a long pause. “Yeah. Of course.”

  A crazy imp took over Chase’s vocal chords—that was his story and he was sticking to it—and he asked, “Hey, why don’t you participate in my Pilates class today?” If Jaden said yes, Chase would have a hell of a time focusing on anything other than him bending and stretching. God help him, he’d probably sprout a boner in his spandex and never hear the end of it. When did this become a real concern for him? Please say no, you’re busy. But if you say yes, that’d be pretty cool, too. The second Chase got a minute alone, he intended to smack himself in the head. Maybe that’d shake his thoughts into order.

  Jaden’s eyes were wide, expression stuck in the universal I-need-a-way-to-politely-say-hell-no face. Chase was about to wave away his offer when Jaden finally said, “I’m going to pass, sorry. I’m not really bendy.” He shut his mouth so quickly, Chase heard his teeth click. Jaden’s cheeks flamed, the tips of his ears glowing hot. He pointed over his shoulder, started to say something, stopped, and then shook his head. Jaden walked off without saying anything.

  Chase had a wild moment of thinking, I can show you bendy, before he got his mind out of the gutter.

  Tonight would be something else.

  Because Chase was first and foremost a gentleman, he picked Jaden up from Lily-Anne’s house. Unfortunately, because he was turning into a nervous diva, he arrived ten minutes late thanks to being unable to decide what he should wear. As if a place called Bar Down with a mechanical bull as its main source of entertainment was the kind of establishment one dressed up for. He’d lost it. Maybe this was what happened when a person went from closeted to living in a small town in southern Florida.

  Other than hooking up at random clubs, Chase hadn’t really done dating with guys. And this wasn't a date, he knew that, but it felt like it was. All the yoga in the world wasn't going to help settle his nerves. Before Jaden showed up, Chase was actually starting to believe he’d found inner peace and tranquility. He’d thought he could live like this forever. That he was happy. A stranger sweeping into town shouldn’t shake him this way.

  He traced the Toyota brand on his steering wheel. He was stalling. Going to the door and knocking was very prom dateish. He remembered prom clearly. He went with Jennifer Maxwell—the girl he’d been seeing for all of senior year. They’d been prom king and queen. He’d slept with her in the hotel room their parents bought for them. He’d liked Jennifer. He’d hated the sex.

  He was still stalling. Now wasn't the time for a walk down memory lane. Such a time firmly belonged at the hour of never and ever. He tapped the Toyota symbol with a finger. He was being a wimp ab
out this. He’d been to Bar Down with Jaden’s brothers more times than he could count. The bar didn't have a romantic atmosphere. This would be a friendly hangout. Chase dressed nice because he was a classy type of guy. It had nothing to do with him trying to impress Jaden. It was all good. He'd keep telling himself that.

  Deep breath.

  It had rained for about five minutes in the afternoon, and the grass was mostly dry, except for a few wet patches Chase had to carefully avoid. He wore his nice Dr. Martens and a pair of dark blue jeans. He’d like to keep everything mud-free. He stamped his shoes off on the bottom step and had to settle the butterflies in his stomach before he rung the bell.

  Magneto’s deep, bellowing bark sounded immediately.

  The massive Great Dane was the first to the door, his big snout pressed to the glass as he tried to breathe and bark all at the same time. Would it be mean to wave at him? Chase opted not to. Poor Magneto looked worked up enough already. He didn't need to tease him.

  The door opened and Chase’s ass hit the wood boards of the porch with a lap full of Great Dane a second later.

  “I am so sorry,” said Jaden, fingers around Magneto’s collar. He was tugging and Magneto wasn't going anywhere. “I don’t know what it is about you. He’s not normally like this. Magneto, get off him.” He firmed his voice at the end, going for a stern, brook no nonsense tone. Magneto licked Chase from chin to forehead, his big ass keeping Chase pinned to the floor.

  Chase scratched behind Magneto’s floppy ears. One was bent over, not standing as tall as its opposite. “Hey boy,” he said, crooning. “I can’t breathe with you sitting on me like this. Think you can scooch?”

  The dog moved off him.

  Jaden looked between them incredulously, settling on Magneto last. “Seriously?” he asked the dog. “Are you for real?”

  Magneto’s tongue lolled out the side of his mouth, a puddle forming on the boards underneath him.

  Chase observed the stare off. Jaden was going for bossy and scolding, while Magneto was projecting pure innocence and obliviousness. He well remembered these pointless battles from his time with Cleo. The dog always won. He stood, dusting himself off. If he kept watching, he was going to get all melancholy. “Sorry to interrupt this battle of wills, but are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.” Jaden narrowed his eyes at Magneto, who then rose from his horse like haunches and meandered inside. Jaden didn't slam the door, but it was a close thing.

  Chase took the time to really look at Jaden. He was dressed like he was going golfing, once again, with his knee length dark blue shorts, his signature boat shoes, and his mint green polo. It was a stuffy kind of outfit, but the shorts hugged Jaden’s ass and showed off his dainty ankles and nice calves. Chase could definitely tell Jaden spent a lot of time using stairs. It would be a travesty not to appreciate the view, so Chase took it all in, following Jaden to the car.

  Chase wasn't good with silence, and he could feel the tension radiating from Jaden, so he played the radio at a reasonable volume and debated between polite small talk—because he liked Jaden and he wanted to put his best foot forward—or being himself.

  He went with what felt natural in the end. “How long have you had Magneto?”

  He wasn't imagining the way Jaden’s shoulders relaxed incrementally. “Four years.” He hesitated, biting his lip. The floodgates opened. “Every now and again, firms get this hair up their ass about charity work and volunteering. Mine did an adoption clinic, and they had this little plastic kiddie pool with Magneto’s mom and all the puppies in it. They were a week out from being eight weeks, and so fucking cute. I’d never been around puppies before. They kept falling over and tripping on their own feet, and Magneto was so tiny. The tiniest. You wouldn’t know it looking at him now. No one adopted him. His brothers and sisters went, and someone even adopted his mom.”

  Jaden shrugged, his smile soft and fond. “I took it as a sign. My husband,” he paused, breathed in shakily, exhaled slowly, steadfastly keeping his head turned to the window, “soon-to-be ex-husband, his birthday was coming up. We never had any pets. I thought it would be nice. We weren’t ever going to have kids, you know? So I thought… I thought Magneto would be a good fit.”

  Inside Chase, part of him was doing the cha-cha. Now he knew. Jaden was gay, or maybe bisexual. Either way, Jaden liked men. But the other part of him was trying to figure out how to navigate this conversation. The “husband” slip-up meant the split was probably recent. Jaden’s tone when he talked about the ex and the situation was far from happy. So maybe not a good memory. He couldn't think too long though, or he might give Jaden the wrong impression. He needed to speak sooner rather than later. And he definitely needed to avoid giving into his curiosity and asking why they weren’t going to have kids.

  Whoever said conversation was an art wasn’t kidding.

  Drumming his fingers on his steering wheel, he asked, “Was he?”

  Jaden looked at him finally, blinking slowly. “Was he what?”

  “Was Magneto a good fit?”

  “For me,” said Jaden, “yes. Not so much for Drew. Turns out he wasn’t much of an animal person.”

  “You kept Magneto anyway, though.”

  Jaden’s brows furrowed. “Well, yeah. Of course I did. I wasn’t going to hand him off to someone else. He was attached to me. He didn't like strangers.” Left unspoken, but clearly known, was the fact Jaden was just as attached.

  Taking a chance, Chase reached over, squeezing just above Jaden’s knee for a short second. He didn't miss the way Jaden’s gaze locked on him, the way his pupils dilated. “I’m glad you kept him. A lot of people wouldn’t have.”

  Jaden blushed, ducking his head. “I love him,” he said. “He’s mine.”

  Chase wondered if Jaden understood the message there. He wasn't willing to let go of what he loved, considered his. But he let this Drew guy go. Not wanting to upset Jaden, or butt into so personal an area, Chase decided to tactfully change the subject.

  As per usual on a Friday night, Bar Down was busy and the country music (something Chase would never grow to love) was loud. He couldn't help but laugh at the wide-eyed look on Jaden’s face when he took in the line dancers and the roped off section with the large mechanical bull proudly perched in the middle.

  Chase nudged him lightly with an elbow. “You want to ride it?”

  “Do I look like I’ve lost my mind?” asked Jaden.

  Shaking his head and giggling, Chase put a hand in the middle of Jaden’s back and guided him in. “Let’s get you a drink. Trust me, it’ll make all of this a lot funnier.” Jaden was clearly skeptical, but he allowed Chase to lead him to the bar. Chase ordered a beer—his only one for the night since he was driving—and looked to Jaden. “What’re you having?”

  “Wine?”

  “Not really that kind of establishment,” said Chase. “There’s beer, and more beer, and whiskey.”

  Jaden scratched the side of his nose. “I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”

  Chase ordered another pale ale and then, drinks in hand, led them to a table off to the side. He nodded at the people he passed, returning smiles and barely-heard hellos. He could feel their curious gazes like physical touches following them across the room. They had a view of the dance floor and the bull, and in about an hour there was sure to be plenty of entertainment on both fronts. The people of Serenity liked to get tipsy—if not out-and-out drunk—and make fools of themselves.

  Bar Down’s Facebook page was dedicated to reporting their antics. No doubt, Jaden and Chase would end up pictured to fodder gossip.

  They were sitting across from each other at the table, and Chase bumped their ankles. He left his leg there, acutely aware of the warmth, of Jaden not moving away. He took a long sip from his bottle and watched Jake Kirkland, one of the town’s firemen, try to hit on Felicity Granger, a teacher at Serenity’s elementary school.

  For a good-looking guy, Jake had no game whatsoever.

 
“Who’s that?” asked Jaden, knocking their knees together as he shifted. He stared at Jake.

  “Jake. He’s a local fireman. He’s been trying to get Felicity to go out with him for ages.” He rambled on—it was a well-known story in Serenity at this point—and told Jaden about all of Jake’s failed attempts and Felicity’s absolute cluelessness (fake or real, no one knew).

  By the time he finished updating Jaden, his mouth hung open a little. “How do you know all of that?” he asked incredulously.

  Chase drained his beer. His lips quirked at the corner. “I teach Pilates and yoga classes, and I own a smoothie establishment. You wouldn’t believe the gossip I overhear.” And oh how he wished he didn’t have to hear it, even if it did keep him in the know. Some things were better left a mystery. Like the affair seventy-two-year-old Mrs. Dunfy was having with eighty-five-year-old Mr. Harolds. “Serenity has very few secrets.”

  Jaden ran the pad of his forefinger over the rim of his half full beer. Chase could practically see him thinking, internally debating something. Chase relaxed in his seat, slinging his arm over the back, and watched a woman climb astride the bull while her friends cheered her on. When Jaden was ready, he’d talk. The bull began to buck, and jean clad legs held tight to the side. Her sunglasses, pushed into her wavy brown hair, flew off and landed on the mat. She had one hand in the air, form perfect as she clung with her knees. Chase knew she was a local ranch hand, one of the horse trainers.

  He’d rode the bull once in his entire time living here, and it had been… embarrassing. Yeah, he went with that. He lasted about fifteen seconds (Elliot swore it was only seven) before he landed on his butt, bounced, and ended up flat on the mat staring at the slowly circulating overhead fans.

  Never again.

  This woman was still seated when the machine shuddered to a halt. He clapped along with everyone else. She’d get a free beer for her success.