Death of a Christmas Caterer

by Lee Hollis

  Liddy was so embarrassed and humiliated, she promptly collapsed again on her kitchen island in another fresh flood of tears. That’s when Sergio took matters into his own hands and promptly directed Randy to start mixing us all some much needed cocktails. He instructed the children to go into the living room and put on a Christmas movie, and he ordered Mona and me to start going through the cupboards and pull some kind of dinner together. Then he guided Liddy and her glass of wine toward her bedroom to freshen up a bit for the evening so she wouldn’t scare the kids anymore with her frazzled and wild-eyed appearance.

  Well, I’m happy to say that in the end it was a raucous and memorable party, with lots of laughs, as we chowed down on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, crackers, canned sardines, microwave popcorn, and a jar of caviar. I would be lying if I didn’t admit the fully stocked bar helped us get through it admirably as well. We left Liddy’s cupboards and fridge bare when we were finished, except for a couple of eggs. We decided to let her have them the next morning for breakfast—if she could figure out how to crack them open.

  Well, since I am fairly certain most of you know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, let me share my promised Christmas stuffing recipe, which, I hope, will become one of your own holiday family traditions. But first don’t forget to liven up your own holiday party with Randy’s “Christmas Spirit” cocktails, sure to be a hit with all of your drunk relatives!

  Randy’s “Christmas Spirit” Cocktail

  Ingredients

  2 ounces Midori Melon Liqueur

  ½ ounce lemon juice

  1 teaspoon simple syrup

  Maraschino cherry for garnish

  Pour all of your ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and add a maraschino cherry for garnish. This will start your night out the right way.

  Christmas Stuffing

  Ingredients

  ½ pound Italian bulk sausage

  4 cups of your favorite cubed seasoned stuffing

  1½ cups crushed corn bread stuffing mix

  ½ cup toasted pecans

  ½ cup minced fresh parsley

  1 tablespoon fresh sage, minced

  1½ cups slice baby portabella mushrooms

  1 cup sliced button mushrooms (feel free to use your favorite)

  1 large onion, chopped

  1 cup chopped apples

  1 celery rib, chopped

  4 tablespoons butter

  2 cups of your favorite chicken broth

  Salt and pepper to taste

  In a large skillet cook and crumble your sausage until no longer pink; drain. Transfer to a large bowl. Stir in the stuffing cubes, corn bread stuffing, pecans, parsley, sage; salt and pepper to taste.

  In your skillet sauté mushrooms, onion, apple, and celery in butter until tender. Stir into the stuffing mixture. Add enough of the broth to your desired moistness. Transfer to a 4-quart Crock-Pot. Cover and cook on low for 3 hours, stirring once.

  As always, feel free to add your own touches to the stuffing and serve it with your favorite holiday meal.

  Chapter 26

  Hayley was up early the next morning to whip up a batch of her spicy gingerbread cookies, which she planned to deliver to the nurses at the Bar Harbor Hospital during her lunch break. She wasn’t overcome all of a sudden by the holiday spirit. No, it was a far more calculated act of generosity. The rumor around town was that Nurse Tilly McVety, who just happened to work the day shift, had been in recent months casually dating local handyman Billy Parsons. Therefore, this would be the perfect opportunity for Hayley to pump Tilly for information.

  Hayley downed three cups of coffee upon her arrival at the office and tore through her in-box at record speed to get her work done so there would be no reason for her to have to work through lunch. She hid the plate of cookies underneath her desk, tucking them away from those untrustworthy reporters, whose stomachs always began grumbling before noon, which inevitably led to them scavenging for any snacks lying around. Hayley was determined they would not get their grubby hands on her cookies.

  When the fire department blew the noon whistle, Hayley gathered up her tote bag and plate of cookies and called back to Sal, alerting him that she was taking an early lunch. She then drove straight to the hospital.

  When she arrived at the nurses’ station, she was surprised to find the hospital staff and a few elderly patients, who had been wheeled out of their rooms, drinking a candy cane punch and gorging on an assortment of Christmas-tree-decorated cupcakes, white-chocolate star-shaped pretzels, and powdered doughnut snowman treats. Hayley’s spicy gingerbread cookies didn’t seem quite so special anymore.

  Nurse Tilly McVety was manning the punch bowl and ladling the creamy pink punch into plastic cups and handing them out to everyone. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Hayley approaching. “You’ve got to try some, Hayley. I made it myself from a recipe I found online. It’s so delicious. The only ingredient I left out was the rum because we’re on duty. Although I suspect Mr. Pinkett over there has a flask tucked in the pocket of his bathrobe—he’s almost mowed down three orderlies with his wheelchair already!”

  Hayley spied Mr. Pinkett, an apple-cheeked, glassy-eyed, merry-looking eighty-year-old with a skeletal frame and wisps of white hair sticking up from his head, leering at the backside of a nurse passing by and then rolling his wheelchair after her.

  “No, thanks, Tilly. I just came by to bring . . .”

  Too late. Tilly had already poured her a cup.

  Resigned, Hayley took a sip.

  Tilly wasn’t lying. It was so yummy that Hayley resisted the urge just to pick up the punch bowl and drink directly from it. Instead she set her plate of cookies down next to the other Christmas treats.

  “That’s so sweet of you, Hayley. How did you know we were having a little Christmas party on the ward today for the patients?”

  “Actually, I didn’t. I wanted to bring you something as a token of my appreciation for how well you treated Lex when he was here, because I know he was a handful—”

  “You didn’t have to do that, Hayley.”

  “Oh, it’s no trouble—”

  “No, really, Lex already brought flowers and chocolates and balloons this morning and made a big heartfelt speech apologizing for any anxiety his behavior may have caused the nursing staff. He’s right over there.”

  Hayley twisted around to see Lex, hobbling around on crutches, popping a white-chocolate pretzel into his mouth as he chatted with a few of the younger, fawning nurses, who were beaming and giggling and hanging on his every word. Hayley had blown right past without even noticing him when she had gotten off the elevator. He had definitely seen her. He nodded and winked at her as she stared at him and then went back to his conversation.

  Hayley swung around again as Tilly handed another cup of punch to Mr. Pinkett , who blew her a kiss before wheeling away to a corner and reaching into the pocket of his ratty blue bathrobe for his secret stash.

  “Any big plans for the holidays, Tilly?”

  “Working a double shift on Christmas Eve,” Tilly said with a sigh. “And Christmas Day I will probably spend fighting with my mother, who will have too much to drink and say something to make my sister cry, and then I’ll come to my sister’s defense and she’ll start yelling at me, too, and then my brother will have to intervene and my mother will make a point of announcing he was always her favorite. Happens every family holiday. Good times.”

  “Well, look on the bright side. At least you have a special guy to ring in New Year’s with,” Hayley said.

  “My, word does get around. Somebody told you about me and Billy?” Tilly cooed, eyelashes flapping, swooning to the point where she almost tipped over.

  “My brother owns a bar. I hear everything. Billy’s a real catch,” Hayley said. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Well, it’s only been a few months and I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it too much, but so
far it’s been heavenly. Billy is sweet and kind, and he treats me like the Duchess of Cambridge, who is my personal hero, by the way.”

  “Because of her charity work?”

  “No. Her fashion sense.”

  Hayley chose to let that one go.

  The phone in the nurses’ station rang and Tilly scooped up the receiver. “Ward three. Nurse McVety speaking.”

  She hoisted her index finger up to indicate to Hayley she would just be a second.

  “Yes?” Tilly asked, her face darkening as the person on the other end of the line spoke.

  “How dare you call me at work and say such things! Yes, there is a logical explanation, but I am not about to waste my breath explaining it to you!” Tilly seethed, slamming down the phone. “Good Lord, Hayley, how do you put up with that muckraking bastard on a daily basis?”

  Bruce. It had to be Bruce. Calling to get Tilly’s comment on Billy’s mysterious disappearance.

  Hayley knew Tilly would never tell anything to a surly, self-important, aggressively confrontational crime reporter.

  But a friendly gal pal who just happened to drop by with spicy gingerbread cookies? Hayley was counting on it.

  “Really, Hayley, he is so smug and off-putting!”

  “You don’t have to tell me, Tilly,” Hayley said.

  “He implied that Billy ran away scared because he had something to do with the Garth Rawlings murder. That is ludicrous! Billy is the kind of guy who uses a newspaper to pick up a spider and take it outside instead of stomping on it—which is what I would do, because they give me the willies.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know Billy left town,” Hayley said, trying hard to be convincing.

  “Yes. This morning. I probably should have told Bruce the truth, but he just made me so mad! Now he’s going to write whatever he damn well pleases and make it seem like Billy was somehow involved.”

  “Where is Billy?” Hayley asked nonchalantly, just a casual question from a curious friend.

  “He drove to Newburyport.”

  “Massachusetts?”

  “Uh-huh. He got a temporary job on a shrimping boat, just for a few days. He told me he wanted to earn some extra money so he could buy his special girl something nice for Christmas. Isn’t that adorable? I told him I didn’t need anything, but he wouldn’t listen.”

  “So he’ll be back in time for Christmas?”

  “Of course.”

  Billy could have lied to her and just come up with the Massachusetts job as an excuse so Tilly wouldn’t suspect he was actually escaping from the authorities before they closed in on him and secured the evidence needed to arrest and indict him.

  Hayley knew it would be pointless to run Tilly’s explanation by Bruce Linney. He would just automatically assume the worst and discard her story as pure fiction. A simple lie told by a duplicitous boyfriend who needed to get out of town. She knew once Bruce locked on a suspect he would relentlessly pound the facts to fit his theory. The actual truth became secondary.

  Tilly stood up and pulled an iPhone out of the pocket of the white knit sweater she was wearing over her nurse’s uniform. “I almost forgot. I promised to take pictures for the hospital’s Facebook page.” Tilly scooted out from behind the nurses’ station and snapped away.

  Hayley decided to peruse the sweets selection before heading back to the office. As she zeroed in on one of the cupcakes, Lex teetered over to her, still trying to get used to his crutches.

  “I thought I spied your famous spicy gingerbread cookies. You know I can’t resist them.”

  Hayley smiled, picked up the plate, and held it out for him to take one.

  She watched as he bit into the cookie, closing his eyes and savoring the taste.

  Suddenly Mr. Pinkett whizzed by in his wheelchair, now drunk and out of control, the side knocking into one of Lex’s crutches, which caused Lex to lose his balance. He was about to take a nosedive, but Hayley jumped in under his arm to steady him.

  Hayley noticed Tilly capturing the moment with her iPhone.

  “You okay?” Hayley asked Lex.

  Lex nodded. “Fine. Frustrated. I don’t like being laid up like this. I need to get back to work.”

  “Count your blessings. After the nasty fall you took, it could have been a whole lot worse.”

  Lex’s arm was still around Hayley’s neck.

  She remembered those romantic winter nights when they were dating, evenings spent at the caretaker’s house that he lived in on the Hollingsworth estate: the bottle of wine, crackling fire, curling up together on the couch, watching the flames dance. His arm would be around her, just as it was now. Lex had his faults, but so did everybody. No man had ever made her feel so safe and protected. She lost herself for a brief moment, immersing herself in memories of their time together; but then the reality of the situation finally took hold and she called for an orderly to pick up Lex’s crutch from the floor and hand it to him. Once he was back holding both crutches, Hayley swiftly slipped out from underneath his arm and backed away, keeping her distance.

  It was over.

  She was never going back there.

  She was with Aaron now.

  Aaron.

  Not Lex.

  Tilly wandered back over to the nurses’ station. She was glued to her phone.

  Hayley suddenly remembered the photo Tilly took.

  “Tilly, do me a favor. Don’t post that photo of me and Lex on Facebook, okay?”

  “I’m sorry, Hayley. I already posted it. And I tagged you.”

  That meant all of Hayley’s friends would see it in their newsfeed.

  Aaron included.

  “It already has twenty-seven likes.”

  Tilly handed the phone to Hayley.

  She looked at all the people who gave the thumbs-up to the photo.

  Her heart sank.

  Right near the top was Aaron Palmer.

  It wasn’t as if he actually liked the photo.

  He was sending a message that he had seen it.

  Chapter 27

  The night of the Congregational Church’s Nativity pageant finally arrived. By the time Hayley made it home to shower and change, Gemma had already left for a late-afternoon tech rehearsal. Dustin was attending the show with a group of friends and was having a quick bite beforehand at Pat’s Pizza. The temperature outside had dropped to the low thirties, so Hayley slipped a heavy draped violet cardigan over her white blouse after blow-drying her hair. She heard loud honking in her driveway and dashed down the stairs and outside, waving at Liddy, who was perched in the driver’s seat of her Mercedes and impatiently checking her watch.

  They had arranged to meet Mona at the church, and found her already standing on the steps waiting for them as they pulled into the church parking lot. Of course Mona was on time. She was probably a half hour early—any excuse to take a break from her high-energy kids, who demanded her constant attention. That’s why Mona loved her job so much. The grueling work of hauling lobster traps on the high seas was like a vacation compared to what awaited her at home.

  “Randy and Sergio are saving us seats in a pew down front,” Mona said as Hayley and Liddy scurried toward her from the parking lot.

  “I want to go backstage first and wish Gemma luck,” Hayley said making a beeline for the side door, which led to the church’s parlor, where tea and coffee were served after services. Tonight it was being used as the backstage area for the cast and choir.

  “Well, I’m going to go make sure I’m not stuck sitting behind Doris Sanborn, who is so fond of those ridiculously big, floppy, floral hats,” Liddy scoffed. “Last fall she came into the Criterion Theatre and sat directly in front of me during that Ben Affleck Gone Girl movie and I couldn’t see a damn thing happening on the screen!”

  “Well, I’m going with Hayley,” Mona said. “The last thing I want to do is spend the next ten minutes before the curtain goes up listening to you squawk about everything that annoys you.”

  “God will get you for that
, Mona,” Liddy said, turning on her heel and marching up the steps, where a young teenage usher then handed her a program. Liddy glanced at the cover and howled. “‘The Birth of Jesus, Written by Edie Staples’? Are you kidding me? Does she actually believe she came up with the plot and dialogue? She doesn’t even give the Bible a coauthor credit!”

  Liddy snickered to the stone-faced kid cradling an armful of paper programs, but his lack of reaction just exasperated her and she brushed past him and went inside.

  Hayley and Mona entered the parlor to find complete pandemonium. Ten first graders were running around in little sheep costumes. Hayley noticed one rebel kid refused to be a sheep and was dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle instead, complete with a blue eye mask. Reverend Staples, decked out in the Deluxe Shepherd Costume, which consisted of a full-length blue-gray-and-black-striped robe worn over a white tunic tied with a thin rope belt, complemented by a color-coordinated head garment, tried corralling the rambunctious kids with his tall wooden shepherd’s crook. His wife, Edie, the auteur and author, who was apparently unfamiliar with the word “adaptation,” hovered over Gemma’s costar Hugo, who was slumped down in a chair in front of a table and mirror. He wore an off-white robe and brown sandals; most of his face was hidden by a shaggy, long beard and wig, which nailed Joseph’s signature look. What Hayley could see of his face Edie was busy dabbing with a powder from her makeup kit. Hayley could certainly see Hugo’s eyes, however, and they were wide with terror. The poor kid was stricken with a crippling case of stage fright.

  “Any sign of Gemma?” Hayley asked as she and Mona glanced around the room. The choir, in their matching maroon robes and yellow sashes, was warming up with “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music. The Three Wise Men, with sparkling gold headpieces and sashes in purple, blue, and green, respectively, were running their lines at the last minute. And local fireman Wilbur White, clad in a long white shirt, wide burlap pants, and sandals, stood at the refreshment table and poured himself a plastic cup of red wine. Then he gulped it down and poured another.