Playing the Game

by JL Paul

  Groaning, Jess performed a half-roll to peek at his alarm clock. He groaned again as he pulled me closer to his body.

  “It’s early,” he mumbled in my ear. I shivered. “Go back to sleep.”

  I pressed my lips beneath his jaw. “I’m awake now. You go back to sleep for awhile. I’ll make some breakfast.”

  He grinned, eyes still firmly closed. “You’re a good woman, Aubrey Rose.”

  My heart fell at the use of my full name but I ignored it and kissed him lightly before slipping out of his grasp, his shirt that I’d donned the night before falling past my knees. I padded to the kitchen, several emotions fighting to be number one in my brain.

  I fumbled around the cupboards, pulling pans out, slamming them on the stove. I found plenty of eggs and other breakfast foods in his refrigerator and lined them carefully on the counter. I decided to keep it simple - just scramble some eggs, bacon, and sausage.

  The sausage was sizzling in a pan as I buttered some toast when Jess wandered into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and it took all the strength I had to control the urge to touch him as my body smoldered at his nearness.

  “Smells good,” he said, his breath tickling my ear. I shuddered. “You should just move in here and cook breakfast for me every morning.”

  My heart flipped at his words as an image of me standing before his stove, serving his breakfast flashed in my mind. It excited me more than degraded me and I turned in his arms to smile.

  “Are you offering me a job as your maid?”

  He captured my mouth with his and I couldn’t stop my body from molding to his. His moved his lips to my chin and my throat.

  “Nah. I just want you in my bed at night and cooking breakfast in my shirt in the morning.”

  With a snort, I moved reluctantly out of his arms. “If you’d like your breakfast to be edible, you better stop kissing me or I’ll burn everything.”

  When he moved away from me, I immediately felt his absence. Pouring us each a mug of coffee, he leaned against the counter to watch me work. I piled his plate high with eggs and added sausage and bacon before sliding it on the breakfast bar. He snagged a couple pieces of toast before he sat down to dig into his food. I watched him for a few minutes, my heart swelling at how beautiful he was.

  “Quit watching me eat, you freak,” he grinned around his fork. “Sit down and join me.”

  I fixed a plate and sat next to him, nibbling on a piece of bacon. “Do you have batting practice today?”

  “Yep,” he said. “You going?”

  “Can I?” I asked, stupidly.

  He rolled his eyes. “Of course. Kendra will be there.” He shoved a forkful of eggs in his mouth. “You can come with me if you don’t mind going early.”

  “I don’t mind,” I whispered.

  He finished his breakfast in silence as I tried to force mine down. When I had my fill, I scooted my plate to him but he only shook his head.

  “You didn’t eat last night and you’ve hardly touched your breakfast. Don’t starve yourself because of your mother.”

  My heart plummeted. I’d hoped he wouldn’t bring her up today. I’d be perfectly happy to not even think about my mother for the entire weekend. And I definitely didn’t want to talk about her.

  “I’m not,” I muttered, sullen.

  “What did she say last night, Aubrey?” he asked in a firm tone that left no room for excuses.

  I sighed before reluctantly repeating the conversation I’d had with my mother the previous night. I expected him to explode in anger but he only nodded his head.

  “I did hurt you before.”

  I jumped out of my seat and began gathering dirty dishes in my arms. “I understand why.”

  “No you don’t,” he argued. “If you did, you wouldn’t be here now.”

  I dumped the dishes in the sink and then whirled around to face him. “What do you mean? Do you not want me here? Just a few minutes ago you were asking me to be here every night. In your bed.” Tears I thought weren’t possible after last night returned to my eyes. “Or is that all you want? A warm body in your bed and a big breakfast in the morning?”

  “Of course not,” he barked. He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look in his eyes. “I told you I love you, Aubrey, and I meant it. But I still could hurt you. I don’t want to do it and I don’t intend on doing it but it could happen all the same. It killed me when I hurt you before and I’ll do everything in my power to prevent it from happening again. But I explained to you how hard it will be with me on the road.”

  “I’m not signing a contract, Jess,” I injected. “I don’t want to.”

  “Why?” he demanded, running a hand through his hair. “Because of us?”

  “Don’t be so arrogant,” I snapped. “Maybe I’m thinking of myself this time. Did you know that I haven’t a clue what I like to do? What if I like to paint? What if I like to play basketball? What if I like to write poetry? I’ve never tried any of those things.”

  He relaxed his grip and massaged my shoulders. “I never realized that.”

  I sucked back my tears. “All I’ve ever done is sing.” I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “I want to try college, Jess. I’d like to take a few classes and figure out if there’s something else out there that I’m good at. Maybe I’ll be a doctor or nurse.”

  He laughed, earning a glare. “You passed out in Biology when you tried dissecting a worm. Remember?”

  “Okay,” I said with a slight blush. “Maybe the medical profession is out but there are so many other options.”

  He brushed the hair off my forehead and kissed me.

  “Then you should check it out.” His lips curved. “I’m pretty proud of you.”

  I ducked my head as heat touched my cheeks. “Well, I haven’t done anything yet.”

  “I know. But you will.” He pulled me to his chest. “What about that recording contract?”

  “I’ll meet with Jon on Monday and tell him my plans.”

  Jess kissed the top of my head. “What about your mother?”

  My heart fell as I tucked my body in his arms. “I have to give her a little time to cool off before I talk to her.”

  “That’s probably a good idea.” He rubbed his hands up and down my back. “We’ll discuss Mama later. Why don’t you tell me about this college idea?”

  I smiled in his chest. I loved this rare side of Jess and wanted to hold on to it as long as possible. “I’ve actually made an appointment with a guidance counselor at the community college. I meet with her Wednesday. I think I’ll just take it one semester at a time.”

  He edged me back with a frown. “Are you sure, Aubrey? I’m not trying to talk you out of this, but I don’t want you to pass up an opportunity you may regret later.”

  I laughed a little hysterically. “Of course I’m not sure, Jess. I’m not sure about anything right now except that I don’t want to live under my mother’s thumb any longer.”

  He studied my face for a moment then leaned in to kiss me, knocking me breathless. “Let’s go shower,” he mumbled on my lips. “After you call your sister and assure her you’re fine.”

  ***

  Although Jess wasn't pitching, I still enjoyed the game. I sat next to Kendra and she regaled tales from the animal shelter to keep the mood light and fun. I was grateful for I definitely didn’t want to discuss the show or my future. I just wanted to live in the present for the weekend. On Monday, I’d jump feet first into the real world.

  After the game, Jess and I went to Troy’s house for dinner along with a couple other players and I relaxed, an overwhelming feeling of belonging filling every pore of my being. Jess’s friends accepted me readily, although a few girls did flash me a jealous look or two.

  Jess gave me a little space but didn’t forget I was there. And it was just so nice. No one bugged me about the show. I wasn’t forced to meet someone because he or she knew producers or song writers. I w
as just plain old Aubrey Quinn.

  “Aubrey,” Kendra called as I stood near the deck rail, admiring the horses grazing in the paddock. “I convinced Troy to adopt another horse. Do you want to go see her? She’s in the barn.”

  “Sure,” I said. I followed her down the path to the handsome red building. She pulled the huge door open and the scent of hay and horse manure hit my nose. I grimaced, slightly, but welcomed it. It didn’t smell like day old coffee in a green room back stage of some theater.

  “Here she is,” Kendra announced proudly, stopping before a stall. A thin, bay mare poked her nose over the door, searching Kendra’s palm for a treat. With a laugh, she gave the nose a fond pat. “She was abandoned because the price for feed rose so rapidly and her owner couldn’t afford to feed her. We found her wandering a park on the outskirts of town. She scared some little kids.”

  “That’s terrible,” I said as I moved closer, offering my hand to the mare. I didn’t know if you were supposed to let horses sniff your palm like a dog but I was too embarrassed to ask. The horse’s bristly nose tickled my skin and I smiled. I had little experience with animals but this one seemed very affectionate for a horse. “She’s beautiful.”

  “She’s a lover,” Kendra smiled. “She’ll be perfect for beginning riders once she’s back to normal weight.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind next time you convince me to go riding,” I laughed. She grinned nervously and I furrowed my brow. “Is something wrong?”

  “No,” she said, stroking the horse’s long nose. “I asked you to come out here for a reason.” She shuffled her feet and my anxiety mounted. “I don’t really have a lot of girlfriends, even among the players’ wives. I always related best to animals.”

  I nodded, understanding. I’d never had many friends, either. I never had much of a chance and the few friends I had made were because of some performance or another. And they never lasted long.

  “I know what you mean.”

  She laughed again, the sound hoarse. “I know you do. We’re a lot alike but totally different.” She patted the mare’s nose and squared her shoulders. “I just wanted to ask if you’d be a bridesmaid in my wedding this fall. I know we don’t know each other very well, but I really like you and I know we’ll become the best of friends with time.”

  My heart flipped. I was struck speechless. “I’m…honored. Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” Her eyes lit up but I could see the uncertainty lingering inside them. She was afraid she’d overstepped her boundaries.

  “I’d love to.”

  She squealed, startling the mare, and hugged me. “Thank you so much, Aubrey. You don’t know how stressful this wedding stuff is. Troy has been an angel about the whole thing, telling me we can just elope, but I want to do the church thing.”

  “Just tell me what I need to do and when,” I said, unable to prevent my lips from curling into a happy smile.

  “We’re not getting married until October but my sister in-law told me that I really should have all this stuff done already.” She groaned. “I’m supposed to be picking out bridesmaids dresses but I only had one bridesmaid and that’s my sister in-law!”

  ***

  “I understand you’re going to be in Troy and Kendra’s wedding,” Jess said that night as I cuddled into his side.

  “Yeah.”

  “Kendra’s something else. I didn’t think anyone would ever tame Troy.” He sighed and kissed my head. His lips traveled to my temple as he shifted me away from him. He crawled over me, his kisses turning a little more urgent. His lips brushed my jaw and down my neck. Shuddering, I clutched his shoulder, a trail of fire following his mouth. He’d already shed his shirt before climbing into bed and I allowed my hands to roam his bare chest, admiring the complicated muscles that flexed with his every move.

  He tugged my nightshirt over my head and continued to assault my overheated skin with kisses as my hands moved back to his shoulders, gripping them tightly.

  “But I’m the lucky man,” he murmured against the skin of my stomach as he kicked off his boxers.

  Later, as his snores whispered in the dark, I contemplated what I would do about my living arrangements. Jess had mentioned that I could live with him but I wasn’t sure if that was what I really wanted. I loved him with all my heart and enjoyed the mornings when I woke up in his arms - but I’d never lived on my own. I wanted to find my independence before I tangled my life with someone else.

  I’ll need a job, I sighed. My savings would get me by for a few months but I didn’t want to depend on that. And if I did start classes in the fall, I’d have to pay for that somehow. I didn’t want to ask my parents to help and I certainly didn’t want to go to Jess for money.

  I flopped on my back, quiet groan escaping my lips. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  “Stop thinking and sleep, Aubrey,” Jess mumbled. His hand fell on my stomach and I squirmed closer to him. His lips found my face in the dark and he kissed my cheek. “Worrying about things won’t help.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

  His fingers trailed up my side and wound in my hair as he pressed his lips firmly to mine. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Sleep now.”

  “’kay,” I said, closing my eyes. I flipped to my side and scooted my back into his chest. His arm tightened around my waist and I pushed my worries aside, concentrating on Jess’s soft snores. Finally, after midnight, I drifted off, secure in Jess’s arms.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Jess asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Shaking my head, I tried to smile. Today I would venture into the real world and Jess would be on a plane for the east coast. He wouldn’t be here to hold my hand.

  “I have appointments this week,” I reminded him.

  He pursed his lips, regarding me carefully, head tilted to the side. “Stay here while I’m gone.”

  “Sure,” I muttered. “Because you need someone to water your plants, right?”

  Laughing, he pulled me into his arms. His lips moved over mine slowly until I had to pull away to gasp for oxygen.

  “Nah. When I come home I want to find you in my bed.” An impish sparkle glinted in his eyes making my heart melt. He kissed me again.

  “Call me if you need me,” he whispered so lightly I almost didn’t hear him.

  He started to ease out of my arms but I held him tighter. I didn’t want to let him go. How was I going to do this on my own? Fear riddled my heart as I gaped at him, clinging to his waist.

  “Aubrey, I’d love to give you a quickie but I have a plane to catch,” he said. When I didn’t laugh, he sighed and loosened my grip. He dropped his bag to take my face in his hands. “Don’t do this. You’re stronger than you think. It’s sink or swim time.”

  “I know,” I said, biting my lip.

  He held my head tighter and pressed his lips to mine. “Get your stuff done. After you finish, if you want to join me, give me a call.” He kissed me again. “I really have to go.”

  “Okay,” I said, a little disappointed in his pep talk. But Jess usually was a man of few words. “Good luck.”

  “Yeah.” He drew me to his chest and kissed the top of my head. “Behave yourself, Aubrey Rose. Don’t pick any fights with your mother.”

  “I love you,” I murmured, closing my eyes and inhaling as much of him as I could.

  “I know,” he grinned, releasing me to pick up his bag. He gave me a wink as he walked out the door. “I love you, Aubrey. See you soon.”

  ***

  “It’s nice to see you again, Aubrey,” Jon said as he ushered me inside his office. He pointed at a chair in front of his mahogany desk. I sat on the edge, nervous anxiety shooting through my body.

  “Thank you,” I muttered. I glanced at all the official-looking certificates hanging on the sage walls. I wasn’t sure what they meant but I was betting if my mother had been there she’d know. I pushed her from my thoughts and
concentrated on Jon’s words.

  “So, why don’t you tell me why you’re not interested in signing a contract?” he asked, leaning back in his leather chair. He folded his hands under his chin as if preparing to hear an interesting story.

  “Well,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. I drew an unsteady breath. Where to begin? “You see, I’ve been singing most of my life. My mother has orchestrated every performance, every contest, just about everything in my life.” I paused, not wanting to bad-mouth her at all.

  “I see,” he said. He sat forward and sprawled his hands on his desk. “So, you didn’t really want to participate in the show then?”

  “I did,” I said slowly, “but not as much as she wanted me to do it.”

  His smile was genuine, bringing brightness to his kind eyes. “And you’re not sure that you want to be a singer now, huh?”

  “Exactly,” I said, relieved. “I was thinking about taking a little time to try other things. Like college.”

  “That’s a good idea,” he nodded. He sat back again and studied me so I hard I began to squirm. He exhaled loudly. “I’ll tell you what; why don’t you take a year of college classes or whatever else you want to try then come back and see me and we’ll see how things are going?”

  “Seriously?” I asked. I couldn’t believe I’d actually have a second chance.

  “I like your sound and your look. I want to sign you, Aubrey, but I don’t want to sign you if you’re not prepared to put your heart and soul into it.”

  I nodded. “That’s very generous of you.”

  He laughed. “Not really. I’m just trying to cover my butt – be the nice guy. I’m sure other labels will be knocking on your door and I’m hoping that you’ll remember me when you do decide to sign.”

  “Of course I will,” I said, standing. A wide smile stretched across my face. Maybe I could do this. “Thank you so much.”

  He walked me to the door. “No, thank you. And you know, you don’t have to wait an entire year. If you decide sooner you’d rather sing than do anything else, just call me.”