by Carol Lynne
“Understandable,” Gray agreed. He finished his last bite of egg before pushing his plate towards the centre of the table. “Like we agreed, the hands are yours to manage however you see fit.”
Ram nodded his appreciation and continued eating.
Raleigh rolled her eyes and got up from the table. “Guess I’ll go get ready for school.”
“Good girl,” Gray replied. “Take your plate on into the kitchen on your way.”
With a heavy sigh, Raleigh picked up her plate and orange juice glass and headed to the kitchen without saying a word to Ram.
Ram glanced at Gray and shrugged. “Seems I’ll be getting the silent treatment from now on.”
“Sorry about that.”
Ram shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. At least she didn’t bite my head off.”
Gray glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were alone in the room. “I almost called you last night.”
“You should’ve. Despite what I said, I slept like shit.” Ram took another bite of the biscuits and gravy. He’d been right, they were incredible.
“You wanna go into my office so we can go over that list?” Gray asked, rubbing his foot against Ram’s.
As much as Ram would love the release, he didn’t want to make a habit of fooling around while on the job. “I’d rather wait until later when we can do it right. For now, why don’t we sit on the porch and go over the schedule?”
Gray stared at Ram for several moments. “Okay. If that’s the way you want it.”
“No, it’s not the way I want it, but it’s the way it needs to be in order for this thing to work,” Ram clarified.
* * * *
Ram had just finished setting up his desk in the corner of the brood mare stable when the new kid showed up. One look at Jesse and Ram knew he had his work cut out for him. Dressed in a pair of dirty jeans that had more holes than denim, Jesse looked like it had been a month since he’d even bothered to shower.
“You the guy I’m supposed to talk to?”
Ram held out his hand. “Yep. I’m Jack Ramsdale, but you can call me Ram.”
Jesse’s eyebrows drew together as he hesitantly shook hands. “That’s a weird name.”
Ram appreciated someone who spoke his mind as long as respect was still shown. “Yeah, guess so.” He gestured towards the stables. “I’ve got a few papers for you to sign before we get started.”
As they walked to the small office area of the stable, Jesse kept his head down. Ram glanced at the guy. “I’ll need you to tie your hair back. In an environment like this, it’s important that you can see everything around you. It doesn’t happen often, but horses can spook without notice.”
From everything he’d heard about Jesse, Ram expected to be met with resistance. “Yes, sir,” Jesse answered. “I don’t have anything with me today. Do you have a rubber band or something in that desk?”
Ram smiled and pulled out his top drawer. He liked the kid already. After several minutes of searching, he came up empty. “No bands, but I’ll find something.” He walked to the tack room and searched through one of the supply cabinets, eventually coming up with a package of boot laces. “This’ll do.”
Jesse took one of the laces. “Thanks.”
“Welcome. Go on and fill out those papers I laid on the desk, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jesse sat down at the desk and tied his hair back. The transformation was quite amazing. With the dirty hair off his face, Jesse’s incredible bone structure and piercing green eyes took centre stage. Ram wasn’t sure why the kid was having so much trouble in school, but from what he’d witnessed Jesse was respectful and willing to take direction.
While Jesse took care of the required paperwork, Ram loaded the rake and pitchfork into the wheelbarrow and pushed it over to the stalls. With the brood mares outside in the pasture connected to the back of the stable, he didn’t need to worry about one of them getting out. He opened the first stall and checked the condition. Although it didn’t need a new layer of sawdust, he’d probably go ahead and show Jesse how to do it.
“All done, sir,” Jesse announced, coming up behind Ram.
“Good.” Ram grabbed the pitchfork. “Let me show you how it’s done.”
* * * *
Gray entered the dining room to find Ram already sitting at the table, his head in his hands. It had been almost a week since he’d spent time with him. He’d known Ram wanted to move closer to his mom because she’d been ill, but he hadn’t known at the time she was battling the final stage of cancer. “Hey, stranger.”
“Hey,” Ram greeted, looking up.
Gray pulled out his chair and sat down. “How’s your mom?”
Ram shook his head. “Not good. At least they have her so drugged up now she doesn’t seem to be in much pain.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Hell, I don’t even think she knows I’m there.”
“So maybe you should take a night off and get some sleep,” Gray said.
“No. She may not know I’m there, but I know it.”
Gray knocked his foot against Ram’s. “You want me to go with you tonight?”
“Thanks, but one of us needs to be here.” He started to reach for Gray’s hand but pulled back. “Sorry about the timing. Haven’t been much of a manager since you hired me.”
“Don’t. You made the move back to Arkansas to be close to your mom. You had no idea she’d take a turn for the worse so soon.” Gray did what Ram had failed to do and reached across the table to cover Ram’s hand. “I’ve missed you, though.”
Ram turned his hand over to press his palm against Gray’s. “I’ve missed you, too. Maybe I should take the night off. It’d be nice to spend some time with you.”
Before Gray could answer, Georgia came into the room with two plates full of pot roast and potatoes. “Smells good.”
“Of course it does.” Georgia set the plates down. “Raleigh called to say she’s studying with a friend and will eat in town tonight.”
Gray hated it when his niece called Georgia instead of him. He knew it was Raleigh’s way around Gray’s authority over her. He’d spoken to Raleigh several times about it, but the girl still continued to do as she pleased. “Thanks, Georgia.”
“She’s not supposed to do that,” he mumbled in explanation to Ram. Gray shook his head. “Are all teenagers like this?”
“Weren’t you?” Ram asked.
“Hell no. My dad didn’t put up with disobeying the rules.” Gray thought about his sister and all that she’d got away with. “At least not from me.” He speared a slice of carrot with his fork. “Now that I think about it, Raleigh’s actions are beginning to mirror her mother’s.”
“From what you’ve told me, that’s not a good thing.”
“No, it isn’t.” Gray shut up and concentrated on his dinner. He needed to figure out how to handle his niece. Despite the wild streak she’d obviously inherited from her mother, Raleigh was a good kid. She studied hard and had always had some of the top grades in the class. Damn it. Gray wanted more for Raleigh than to end up like Rebecca.
They ate dinner in relative quiet with only a few remarks here and there on how good the food was. By the time Gray finished, he was no closer to finding an answer.
Disgusted, Gray picked up his plate and Ram’s. “Are you too tired to go for a ride? I feel like gettin’ out of here for a while.”
Ram wiped his mouth and nodded. “Sure. I think I could use a few hours of peace and quiet.”
“You’re in for a treat then. Give me ten minutes.”
Ram stood and lifted his Stetson off the hook. “I’ll go saddle Bean.”
Gray carried the empty plates into the kitchen and set them on the counter. “Good dinner.”
He gave Georgia’s cheek a quick peck. She had been with the Conner family for over eight years. One of the things that pissed Gray off about Raleigh was the way she behaved towards the older woman. Georgia was the closest thing Raleigh had to a mother, yet the
girl still treated her like a servant. “I’m gonna take Ram on a tour of the land.”
“You should show him the cabin,” Georgia said as Gray started out of the kitchen.
Gray stopped and turned around. The small cabin his grandpa had built for times when he was having trouble with his wife hadn’t been used by anyone but Gray since his grandpa’s passing. “Why would you say that?”
Suddenly the older woman looked guilty about something. “Georgia?”
She worried the dishtowel in her hand. “I went out there to clean when you were in the hospital with your appendectomy three years ago. I thought you might like a nice place away from Jeremiah to recuperate.”
Gray’s body went rigid at the invasion of his private space. “You steal my key to do that?”
Tears filled Georgia’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing a nice thing for you. I knew how hard it was for you to be trapped in this house with your father.”
Gray knew by the expression on the woman’s face what she’d found inside. “I’m sorry you had to see what you did.”
Georgia stepped forward and cupped Gray’s cheek. “Those movies and magazines were private. I knew that as soon as I saw them. I wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to hide yourself from me, but I didn’t know how without making you angry.”
“Have you told anyone?” Gray felt raw and exposed. It wouldn’t have been any worse if she’d walked in on him masturbating.
“Of course not.” Georgia pulled her hand back, her feelings obviously hurt.
“I’m sorry.” Gray ran his fingers through his hair. “We both know what would happen if word got out.”
“The entire county doesn’t need to know if you align yourself with people on the ranch you can trust.” In an uncharacteristic move, Georgia punched Gray in the shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to spend the rest of your life alone. Besides, I’ve spent enough time around those buyers of yours to know a few of them share your particular taste in partners.”
“No way. If there’d been a gay man through here I would’ve known it.”
Georgia put her hands on her hips. “You’re blind. That Russell whatever guy couldn’t stop staring at”—she gestured towards Gray’s groin—“ya know.”
Gray thought of Russell Farrington staring at his cock and almost threw up. “He’s, like, eighty!”
Georgia grinned. “Yes, but you get my point. I don’t believe you would lose your business if the truth were to get out. People in town might not like it, and you could lose some of your friends, but isn’t being happy worth the trouble?”
Although he’d grown up in Wellington, Gray had few friends. For the most part, he had what he’d call acquaintances. It was hard to let people get close when he had to hide one of the biggest parts of himself. He thought of Raleigh and how the truth would affect her. Appearances meant everything to his niece. She was popular in town and loved being the ‘it’ girl at her high school.
In a town of roughly three thousand people, Gray didn’t doubt there were other homosexuals in Wellington, but, like him, they chose to keep their secrets to themselves.
“You like Mr Ramsdale, don’t you?” Georgia asked, cutting into Gray’s thoughts.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure where it will go. What if I come out and Ram decides he can’t take the public scrutiny and leaves?”
“Then you’ll go on, but you’ll be prepared for the next time love comes your way.”
“I think it would be better to wait until Raleigh goes off to college. My problems shouldn’t become hers.” It would also give Gray seven more months to build something with Ram that would weather the storm ahead.
“You will do what you think is best. I know from experience there’s no changing your mind once it’s made up.” Georgia stood on her toes and kissed Gray’s cheek. “You can talk to me if you need to.”
“Thanks.” Gray left the kitchen and grabbed his hat on the way out of the front door. He’d been longer than ten minutes and hoped Ram was still interested in taking that ride. A ride to the cabin was still up in the air though. Hopefully he’d figure it out once they got away from the house.
* * * *
After saddling both horses, Ram mounted Bean, his black and white gelding, and waited for Gray to emerge from the house. Covering a yawn, he thought of the condom and small packet of lube in his jacket pocket and hoped he could stay awake long enough to finally have sex with Gray.
As hard as it was to keep his hands off Gray when they were within shouting distance of others, it was going to be nearly impossible once they reached the desolation of the far pastures. He shifted in his saddle when his body started to respond to the mental image of fucking Gray. With a shake of his head, Ram turned his thoughts back to his mom. Was he being selfish by spending the evening away from the hospital? Probably, but after watching the life drain from his mother all week he needed the comfort Gray’s arms provided.
The front door opened and Gray finally appeared. His long legs quickly ate up the distance across the ranch yard. “Sorry about that.”
“Everything okay?” Ram handed Bellamy’s reins to Gray.
Gray swung himself up onto his horse’s back and settled into the saddle. “Yeah.” He hit the upper latch and the gate swung open. Ram licked his lips as he followed Gray’s lead. It was the first time Ram had seen his sexy employer ride, and Gray definitely didn’t disappoint. Maybe it was the horseman in him, but there was nothing that turned him on more than the sight of a sexy man handling a horse like he was born to it. Ram took the time to shut the gate before catching up with Gray.
They rode in silence for about fifteen minutes before Ram started to get the uneasy feeling that something was wrong. “What’s bothering you?”
Gray glanced over his shoulder before looking at Ram. “Georgia knows.”
The news didn’t surprise Ram. He’d noticed the way the older woman had smiled at the two of them at dinner. “Does that worry you?”
“No.” Gray changed directions, and started towards a far rise in the landscape. “There’s a cabin out this way I’d like to show you.”
“Does someone live there?” Ram hoped Gray wasn’t taking him to visit an old neighbour. He wanted to spend some time alone with the man he couldn’t get off his mind.
“Nope. It belonged to my grandpa. After he died, I took the place on as my own. It’s the kinda place I can get away to and be alone with my thoughts. Evidently Georgia went to clean it a couple years ago and discovered my stash of videos and magazines.”
It didn’t take more than that for Ram to understand Gray’s quiet mood. No doubt Gray felt his privacy had been violated and was trying to cope. “That sucks.”
Gray nodded. “I’m not mad. More than anything I think I feel guilty that Georgia’s had to carry my secret for so long.”
They arrived at a dirt path and began to follow it. Ram was surprised Gray was willing to take him to his secret hideaway. “So you’re really taking me to your cabin?”
“Would you mind?” Gray asked, looking at Ram from under the brim of his hat.
“I’d be honoured.”
Gray kicked Bellamy into a canter. “Then let’s stop wasting time and get there.”
Chapter Four
By the time they reached the cabin, the sun had nearly set. “It’s bigger than I expected,” Ram said, dismounting Bean.
“Right at six hundred square feet. Plenty big for what grandpa needed.” Gray yanked on the saddle cinch and unbuckled it.
The action prompted Ram to do the same. Evidently Gray planned to stay a while, which was fine by Ram. Before long, both horses were unsaddled and safe inside a small corral with plenty of grass for them to eat.
While Gray pumped water from the old well to fill the trough, Ram decided to have a quick look around. Nestled in a grove of soaring eighty-foot sugar maples, the small log cabin looked like something from a postcard. The overhead leaves were just starting to change colour. Ram couldn’t imagin
e a prettier place to be in the fall.
“Nice, isn’t it?” Gray said, wrapping his arms around Ram from behind.
“Gorgeous.” Ram grabbed Gray’s hand as it headed down to his cock and pulled him towards the small front porch. “Show me the bed.”
Gray dug a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked the deadbolt.
“Get a lot of burglars up here?” Ram asked, his hands roaming Gray’s back and ass.
Gray shrugged. “I told you, this is my place.” He pushed the door open and turned on a small floor lamp.
Ram’s first look at the interior of the cabin surprised him. The main house was furnished with practical leather furniture suitable for the dirt and sweat that came with ranch life, but Gray’s hideaway was completely different. From the soft chenille overstuffed couch to the quirky chandelier made of repurposed wine bottles, the cabin held treasures that were obviously important to Gray. “Yeah, this is definitely your place.”
Sex forgotten for the moment, Ram studied a painting mounted above the river rock fireplace. It was a watercolour portrait of the cabin. The fall leaves Ram had glimpsed earlier were depicted in perfect harmony with a newer version of the cabin. “Who did this?”
Gray stared at the painting and smiled. “Grandpa Conner. There are several more throughout the cabin. I found them here after his death.” Gray shook his head. “It seems he used this place for his secret passion as well. As far as I know, no one else knew he had such a gift within him.”
What was it about the Conner men that led them to hide the best parts of themselves from the outside world? Looking at the painting, Ram wished he’d known Gray’s grandfather. He realised what a gift Gray had given him by bringing him to the secret world he obviously loved. Now he understood why Georgia’s intrusion had upset Gray as much as it obviously had. Ram turned and pulled Gray into his arms. “Thanks for bringing me here.”