RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC

by Alana Sapphire

  “You walk around here wearing his clothes and act like you’re the club queen or something,” she sneers at me.

  “Not a queen. But I’m Gage’s woman. You’re a Hound. Therefore, you stay the fuck out of my way.”

  “Woman? Where’s your cut?” She giggles. “He just feels sorry for you. Why would he want to claim damaged pussy?”

  Okay, now she’s pissing me off. How dare she treat what happened to me like some sort of disease?

  “At least I’m not community pussy. Every brother here has fucked you and you’re still a Hound. Face it. You’re like the heel of the bread—everyone touches it, but nobody really wants it.”

  She straightens, anger and hate in her eyes.

  “Oh, yeah? While you were on your little emotional trip, who do you think was taking care of Gage? He was with me every. Single. Night. It’s just a matter of time before he drops you and makes me his old lady.”

  Rage clouds my vision. First Lonnie, now her. Without even thinking, I lunge at her. I curl my fists and land a punch to her nose. She screams and falls back against the wall, covering her nose. The bitch tries to run but I catch up with her in the bar, grabbing her hair and yanking her toward me. I kick her feet from under her and she falls flat on her back. She should be very comfortable. Slut. Vaguely, I hear the guys laughing and hooting, but I drown them out. I sit astride her and grab her neck. Her arms flail, trying to grab me, but I’ve got her good. I squeeze and watch her eyes bug out as she struggles to breathe.

  “Not so tough now, are you, bitch?”

  Blood trickles from her nose. I squeeze tighter but then there are hands all over me. After a struggle, I’m pulled away from her and Tek helps her to her feet as she fights to draw air into her lungs.

  “Stay in your lane, slut!” I shout as I reach for her. I drag myself from the arms holding me and turn to see Gage’s confused stare. Motherfucker.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  I haul ass back into his room, pacing as anger courses through my body. That cock-sucking motherfucker! I can’t believe he was screwing that slut waffle and then climbing into bed with me every night. He walks in, still looking bewildered.

  “What the hell happened?” he asks.

  “Don’t fucking talk to me!”

  “What? What did I do?”

  “What did you do? You said I was your woman.”

  “You are.”

  “Then why does your whore think it’s okay to talk to me however she wants to?”

  “My whore?” he asks with a raised brow.

  “Yes, your whore! Or maybe I’m the whore, huh?”

  “Don’t fucking say that.”

  “Why not? According to her, you’re just with me because you feel sorry for me, and you’re going to drop me at any moment and make her your old lady.”

  “Babe, you know that’s bullshit.”

  “Don’t babe me.”

  I can’t think straight, and I can’t keep still. I need to fucking hit something. Turning to the punching bag, I let loose. Deep, deep down, the rational part of me knows she’s probably lying but it’s losing to my irrational, royally pissed-off side. He tries to grab me again, but I push him away.

  “I said don’t touch me!”

  His face hardens. Now, he’s getting angry. Good.

  “Raven, cut it out. Right. Fucking. Now.”

  “Fuck you! Go tend to your whore. I think I broke her nose.”

  “Raven—”

  “Don’t. Just don’t.”

  Anger turns to hurt. The kind where you feel like your lungs have been ripped out and you can’t breathe. Hurt so deep you think your heart will stop at any moment because you simply can’t go on living. That’s how I feel. Tears stream down my cheeks, and I press my palm to the ache in my chest.

  “I don’t know what she told you—”

  “How could you? How could you screw her every night and then hold me in your arms like you cared?”

  “Is that what she said? And you believe that?”

  Like I expected him to admit it. I grab my backpack from the closet and start shoving some clothes in it. I can’t be here right now.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” he demands.

  “What does it look like?”

  “You’re not leaving.”

  “You can’t stop me.”

  “You’re not leaving,” he repeats. This time, it’s the voice.

  I pause momentarily, almost giving in. But then I remember Britney’s words. I zip up my bag, pull on some jeans, and grab my phone from the nightstand. His eyes follow me as I remove a hoodie from the closet.

  “You walk out that door, I swear I’m going to put you over my knee.”

  I stop in the doorway and turn to him. He’s not facing me. Coward.

  “Goodbye, Gage.”

  ***Gage***

  Goodbye? She’s out of her fucking mind if she thinks I’m letting her walk out of here. That stupid bitch Britney. I should have sent her packing a long time ago. I storm after Raven and find her begging Ron to give her a ride. He looks to me nervously, seeking permission.

  “Raven,” I call to her.

  “Ugh! Forget it. Forget you. Forget all of you!” she screams.

  She rushes to the door, dialing on her phone. Who the fuck is she calling? I catch up with her outside and grab her wrist but she wrenches out of my grasp.

  “Fuck off, pendejo!”

  She starts rambling in Spanish, so I have no idea what the fuck she’s saying, but I know it can’t be good.

  “Just calm down. Let’s go back inside and talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Babe—”

  “Gage, please….”

  Her tears fucking break me in half. I can’t stand to see her like this. Not again. And not over some bullshit.

  “I just need some space.”

  “Space for what? Come back inside.”

  She looks down at her phone then toward the gate. “I have to go.”

  I’m obviously not going to get anywhere with her while she’s in this mood, so I concede. For now.

  “At least tell me where you’re going.”

  “Chrissy’s.”

  “Okay. I’ll take you.”

  “I have a ride.”

  “Who?”

  “Chris,” she answers defiantly.

  Fuck. “Fine. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Don’t.”

  I watch her walk away, fighting the urge to throw her over my shoulder and take her back inside. She steps through the gates and right into Chris’ arms. Fuck! I storm back inside, needing to break someone’s fucking face. Everyone stares at me when I enter. E’s by the bar, working on Britney’s nose. I push him out of the way, watching her cringe as I get in her face.

  “What the fuck did you say to her?”

  “I—”

  “Fuck it. Doesn’t even matter. You’re done. I see you in my club again, you won’t like it.”

  “But Gage—”

  “I fucking mean it, bitch. Fuck off.” I turn away and make my way back to my room. “Get her the fuck out of here.”

  I slam the door behind me and pace the room in frustration. Fuck my life! What is it with these bitches? A few words. That’s all it took for her to walk out on me. A few words from the mouth of a fucking lying whore. There’s a knock at the door, and I know it’s E before he sticks his head in.

  “Not now, E.”

  He comes in anyway and sits on the edge of the bed.

  “Your girl’s got a mean punch.”

  “I know. I taught her.”

  “Where’d she go?”

  “Chrissy’s.”

  He follows me with his eyes as I walk back and forth.

  “You gonna go get her?”

  “Let her cool off. We’d just end up fighting all night, and that’s the last thing I want.”

  “What do you want?”

  I stop pacing and turn to
him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “You have her in a precarious situation. She’s not a casual fuck, but you also haven’t made a claim—”

  “She’s my woman.”

  “Yes, but without that cut? To the Hounds, she’s just another woman.”

  “They’re Hounds. They shouldn’t be in my fucking business.”

  “True… but for some reason I can’t see, bitches love you.”

  I crack a smile and sit next to him. This is why he’s my best friend. “Crazy bitches. I’m fucking lucky that Raven isn’t.”

  “Which is why you need to man the fuck up. Just do it already.”

  I take a deep breath and fall back on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. I hate to admit it but he’s right. The question is, is she ready?

  CHAPTER 18

  ***Raven***

  “He’s such a dick! I can’t believe I swallowed—”

  I stop myself, but a little too late. Chrissy’s eyes widen and she pokes me in the side with her index finger.

  “You little slut! What did it taste like?”

  “Why don’t you ask Britney?”

  “Come on, Ray. You know that bitch was lying through her skanky teeth.”

  Chrissy strokes my hair as I cry my eyes out on her pillow. I haven’t stopped crying since I got here. She had to try to piece things together because I could barely tell her the story through my sobs. Gage has been calling and texting all day, but I’ve been avoiding him. I just don’t know what to say to him.

  “I know. That’s the fucked-up part.”

  “Then… I don’t get it.” She gives me a confused frown.

  I sit up cross-legged, searching for the words to make her understand. “I have no place there.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He says I’m his woman but in his world, it’s not official unless he gives me that stupid jacket. She would have never spoken to Marlowe or Renae like that. There’s just no respect.”

  “Ah… I know what you mean. I’ve had to warn off a few of those bitches.”

  “How do you deal with it?”

  “Ron knows I’ll remove his balls if he cheats on me.”

  “It shouldn’t be this hard, should it?”

  “Love is never easy, Ray.”

  “Well, it should be.”

  She moves closer and curls her arm around my shoulder. I return her embrace, wondering why men have to be so difficult.

  “It’s good you left. Maybe this will help him get his shit together.”

  “Hopefully.”

  “Did you take the pill?”

  “Of course.”

  When we went shopping, I made a stop at the pharmacy to get a refill on my birth control prescription and grabbed some morning-after pills, too. I can’t afford to get pregnant right now.

  Chrissy’s mom calls from outside the door, knocks, and then enters. “Raven, there’s someone here to see you.”

  Even without the nervous look on her face, I would have known it was him. It’s not like I know many people here. Plus, he’s probably in a rage about me not answering his calls or texts.

  “Thanks. I’ll be right there.”

  I wash my face and make my way downstairs, searching for the courage to face him. When I see him, I understand why Mrs. Contreras looked so uneasy. He’s in full biker gear, and the scowl on his face would scare anyone. Not me, though. I just want to jump into his arms.

  He takes one look at my face and the scowl is replaced with concern.

  “You’ve been crying,” says Captain Obvious.

  “Aren’t we observant today?”

  “Get your shit. We’re leaving.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You said you needed space. I’ve given you enough time.”

  “Time? I’ve been gone one night,” I point out.

  “Too long. It’s time to come home.”

  “Home? You mean your club with all your whores?”

  “Raven—”

  “Don’t. I’m not coming back as long as she’s there.”

  “She’s out. I kicked her out.”

  Oh? That’s something, I guess. Just one less bitch to deal with.

  “And I swear I haven’t touched her since we’ve been together.”

  He drags a hand down his face, drawing my attention. He looks tired. His eyes are red, the lids are drooping, and there are bags under his eyes.

  “You look horrible.”

  “I didn’t sleep last night.”

  “I wonder why,” I reply, trying to sound indifferent.

  He takes my hand and pulls me against him. I get a whiff of his cologne and go weak in the knees.

  “Because you weren’t there. Our bed felt empty without you.”

  Our bed. He said our bed. Then again, that’s all he ever does—talk. He says all kinds of things but won’t back them up with actions. I step out of his arms and put some space between us.

  “Go home, Gage.”

  “What? I’m not leaving without you.”

  For once, he doesn’t seem so confident. His tone is still authoritative, but his eyes betray him. There’s a desperation there I’ve never seen before. Maybe Chrissy was right. A little time apart should help him make a decision about what he wants.

  “I need more time.”

  “What the fuck for? Cut the bullshit, Raven. Let’s go.”

  “No. I’m going inside and I’m not coming back out. Go home, Gage.”

  I let myself back inside quickly before I give in to him. Pressing my back against the door, I close my eyes and try to block out his helpless expression. I tell myself this is for the best, but I don’t quite believe it. What if this time apart does the opposite of what I hope to achieve? What if he decides he doesn’t want me anymore?

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  I purse my lips and turn to Chrissy’s mom.

  “No, Mrs. C. I’m not.”

  ***

  “Raven, Gage is here,” Mrs. C calls up the stairs.

  I put my Kindle down and get ready to descend the stairs for our daily ritual. I’ve been here a week and he’s shown up every night. Mrs. C doesn’t get nervous and scared anymore because the man has already charmed her. Not Mr. C, though. He won’t let Gage any farther than the doorstep.

  Every evening, we walk around the block in silence. At the end, he asks if I’m leaving with him. I highly doubt my answer will be any different tonight. Not that it’s been easy. It kills me to walk away from him every night when all I want to do is jump his bones. My only reprieve has been the three days of bleeding I had from taking the morning-after pill. It’s stopped now so Lord knows what I’ll do when I see him.

  Chris stops me in the hallway. We haven’t spoken much since I’ve been here, and I know my very presence is difficult for him.

  “You’re going back to him, aren’t you?” he asks.

  “We’re not broken up. I just needed to be away from him for a while.”

  “A while? Next time, I may not be close by.” He cups my cheek, stroking it with his thumb as he stares at me wistfully. “Didn’t I make you happy?”

  “Chris… it wasn’t you. You were wonderful.”

  “Then why? Why did you choose him?”

  “I just… Maybe if I’d met you first, things would have been different.”

  He drops his hand to his side then shoves both in his pockets. “I guess I never stood a chance then, huh?”

  “Chris—”

  “Go. He’s waiting for you.”

  I stare at his back as he retreats, head hanging down, and it breaks my heart to see him like this. I should leave. I can’t keep hurting him like this. First thing in the morning, I’m finding a hotel.

  As usual, Gage is waiting for me at the door. I take his extended hand and we begin our trek around the block. Thinking about Chris, Gage, and everything else has me in knots. This is not how I envisioned my life. I’ve been thrown so many lemons I could make
a shit load of lemonade.

  “You okay?”

  “Fine,” I answer. “Just thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Life. Where I am… Where I wanna be.”

  “Where do you want to be?”

  He stops walking and pulls me to him, staring down at me patiently. Our eyes meet, and I know beyond a doubt he’s what I want. Wherever he is, that’s home. If I’m going to be making lemonade then he’s definitely the sugar. He wraps his arms around me and I inhale his scent.

  “I really don’t know… but I do know I want you there with me.”

  He holds me tighter and I swear relief floods his features.

  “I will. For as long as you want me, I’ll be right there with you, doll.”

  “I want you.”

  He leans down and gently presses his lips to mine. It’s only been a week, but it seems like it’s been decades since I felt his kiss. His lips move slowly over mine, teasing until I grant him entrance. He moans when our tongues meet. I slip my hands under his cut and sink my nails into his lower back.

  “Come home, Raven,” he begs, resting his forehead on mine.

  “The clubhouse isn’t a home, Gage.”

  “You wanna move into the house? We’ll move into the house.”

  “Really?”

  That caught me off-guard. But at least if I’m not at the clubhouse, I won’t have to deal with those bitches daily. Plus, this move is sure to open their eyes to the fact that I’m not some temporary amusement.

  “Yes, really. I meant it when I said I don’t want to wake up without you. I’ve given you enough time. You need to get your ass back in my bed.”

  “You’re so romantic,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  “You knew that shit before you got with me. So, you coming home or what?”

  “Ask me nicely.”

  “Raven—”

  “Ask me.”

  He takes a deep breath and expels it through his mouth. His eyes lock on to mine and he cradles my face in his hands.

  “Raven, I miss you. I can’t go another day without waking up next to you or coming home to you. I need you, babe. Come home. Please.”

  How can a woman say no to that? Not able to find words, I simply nod. He grabs my hand and drags me back toward the house at a pace I have to walk double-time to keep up with.