by Eva Brandt
“Thank you, Lady Morrigan.”
“Don’t mention it, little witch.” She snapped her fingers and the feather dissipated into dust. “I wish I could do more, but unfortunately, it’s not within my ability.”
I remembered the conversation she’d had with Lilith in the courtyard and realized she’d been lying to me too. But she was my teacher, not my lover, and I’d only spoken to her a couple of times. She didn’t owe me anything. With Mikael, Stefan, Callum, and even Dean Mephistopheles, it was entirely different.
As Morrigan exited the room, I was left alone with the four men. My courage faltered and instead of approaching the topic I’d come here to discuss, I asked, “Where’s Shiro?”
“In the dorms. He was too agitated to stay here. He’s well cared for, though. Don’t worry. We’ll send a message to allow him to come here.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” I desperately needed to see my familiar, to reassure myself that one bond, at least, remained intact.
Silence fell over the infirmary as I struggled with finding a way to vocalize the emotions bubbling inside me. Callum must’ve sensed my anxiety, because he spoke out first. “Alyssa? What is it? Tell us what’s on your mind.”
“Did those self-righteous bastards do something to you?” Stefan fumed. “Just tell us who and we’ll hunt them down.”
The ferocious protectiveness in his voice strengthened me and reminded me why this was important and what I’d come here to do. “That won’t be necessary,” I said. “They didn’t hurt me, not after the snake, at least. I only spoke to one angel, and he revealed some truths to me that I should’ve never missed.
“Tell me something. When did you decide it was a good idea to wipe my mind of my past and make me forget my memories of my parents? And when were you going to tell me that you could control my seizures?”
The very air in the room seemed to freeze. “Shit,” Stefan said.
It was a simple word, just one syllable, but it said more than enough. Everything Michael had told me was the complete and utter truth.
I’d been prepared for it, but still, it hurt. I tried not to let that pain show. “You have five minutes,” I told them. “Explain. I’m waiting.”
“Okay, Lyssa,” Mikael replied, “but you probably won’t like what we have to say.”
“I already don’t like it. Just talk and stop stalling.”
“Very well. It all started at the beginning of last year, when we first heard you would be coming to the school.”
Betrayals
The conversation didn’t go well, not that I expected it too.
“Listen, Lyssa,” Callum said. “We’re demons. We’re not… We’re not good people. I know this will be hard to hear, but since you asked, we might as well put all the cards on the table.
“There’s a reason why you’re at this school, and I don’t believe for a second that it’s just because you’re related to some random Dominican Inquisitor. You might not know this, but Mephistopheles was always paying a lot of attention to you, before you even arrived.”
Mephistopheles twitched when he was mentioned, but he said nothing. Callum continued to speak. “As the princes of the school, we always had a little more information on what he was doing, so I knew there had to be something special about you, something dangerous. That’s why I came to meet with you on your first day, when you ran into Gemma. And I felt something then… Something dark and powerful.”
So they didn’t know about my contract with Lucifer, but they had suspected. The dean, on the other hand, had been aware. I could see it in the flickers in his crimson eyes.
Mephistopheles had the excuse of his promises to Lucifer, but Stefan, Callum, and Mikael didn’t. In fact, they didn’t provide any excuse at all. They just gave me the answers I’d been looking for.
“We considered you a threat,” Mikael explained. “You remember, don’t you? The purpose of this school is to pick the next Satan, and you’re powerful. No one here ever actually believed that you were a valid candidate, which was why they didn’t pay much attention to you until your seizures. But we knew better. We knew you had power that could be a threat to us.”
I swallowed around the sudden knot in my throat. Nothing he was saying came as a real surprise, and I’d already known their intentions for my fate hadn’t been the best, but still, it was hard to hear.
They’d treated me so strangely before the whole thing with Shiro. At first, they’d seemed to dislike me so much, but then, they’d suddenly decided they couldn’t be without me. They’d even fought over me, which was something I’d never completely understood.
It made so much sense now. “You wanted to seduce me, break my heart, and chase me away from the school that way. But after my seizures started, you thought it wasn’t necessary anymore, so you stopped. Except I still refused to leave.”
They didn’t deny it, and I was grateful for it, because that would’ve just been an insult to my intelligence and to the bond I’d felt we shared. It was just as well that our conversation wasn’t over, and my grievances hadn’t come close to being addressed. “What about the rest of it? What about Shiro and my parents?”
“I don’t know what happened, Lyssa. At one point…” Stefan took a deep breath, obviously struggling with expressing himself. “At one point, we started to care about you. But by the time we realized it, it was too late. And we knew that after what had happened with your familiar, you’d want to leave. So we… encouraged you to cling to us, to disregard everything that was on the outside.”
Something didn’t quite fit in their story. If they were telling the truth, they hadn’t intervened in my life using magic until after we’d started dating. “If that’s the case, why didn’t I remember my parents before? Why didn’t I call them?”
“That might have been the effect of The House of Sloth Dorms, Lyssa,” Callum replied. “As you know, it does damage to the cerebral cortex, to the point of being able to induce coma. You were right to avoid sleeping there. If you’d done it more than once, you’d have probably never recovered.”
“The effects still lingered on your mind months after the beginning of the year. It’s what made it so easy for us to keep you here, without putting additional strain on your brain and triggering a seizure,” Mikael finished.
I clenched my hands around the material of the quilt, half-wishing that I’d never returned to the academy. “Do you regret it? What you did to me?”
“Maybe? I don’t know. I wish we’d done things differently, it’s true. But it seemed like the only option we had at the time, to make sure you gave us a real chance.” Callum smiled bitterly. “Let’s face it. Someone like you would’ve never accepted creatures like us.”
That wasn’t true. I had liked them before the whole thing with Shiro. The sexual chemistry had been there from the beginning, even at a time when they’d been utter dicks to me. And at the end of the day, it didn’t count, did it? They had never given me the benefit of the doubt, nor had they tried to see if I could come to care for them.
The furniture in the room started to rattle. “Get out! Get the fuck out before I do something you’ll regret more than I will!”
They flinched, but didn’t question me. No matter what they’d said, they clearly understood that they’d made a huge mistake. It was cold comfort and didn’t help me in any way.
Without another word, my lovers left the room. Stefan was the last one. He stole one last look at me, but quickly joined the others when the nightstand flew toward him, apparently of its own accord.
He closed the door before I could hit him, and the item of furniture splintered against the wood. In the wake of their departure, I was left drained, shaking in anguish, and still not knowing what to do.
Mephistopheles had stayed, not seeming very frightened by my display. “So… Now you know. Any plans?”
“Plans?” I snorted. I wanted to throw something at his head too, but I managed to refrain. “I have to stay to complete my cont
ract with Lucifer. I don’t want to see them, but until I finish one more year here and learn how to control my powers, I can’t leave.”
“So you found out about that too. I thought you might’ve.” Mephistopheles sighed. “Listen, Alyssa, I know an ‘I’m sorry’ won’t do a thing right now. Unfortunately, there’s not much else I can do. This is just the kind of place The Academy of the Devil is. And honestly, you can’t say it’s that surprising to you. You knew what they were. Incubi feed on induced sexual desire. They are predators. This shouldn’t shock you at all.”
“I just thought… I thought they’d never do it to me.”
It sounded horrible and callous, as if I didn’t care about what had happened to other people, as long as nothing happened to me. But that was just it. I hadn’t cared, had I? I’d never chastised Mikael and Callum for using their skills against my teachers, because it had been convenient for me. I’d used a form of mental manipulation myself, when I’d hurt those upperclassmen.
What did that make me?
I must’ve said at least some of that out loud, because Mephistopheles answered, “It makes you human and flawed. But don’t overthink it too much right now, okay? Give yourself some time to rest and recover. I can’t imagine being almost killed by angels and brought to heaven was stress-free.”
He walked up to my bed and sat down on the edge, being very careful to not touch me. “I won’t ask for your forgiveness either. But I can tell you this. You need to think about what comes next for you, beyond the contract with Lucifer.
“Before you found out about this, you told yourself that you were willing to accept their demonic nature, no matter what it meant. You understand now that it’s not so simple. Nothing at The Academy of the Devil ever is.
“I personally believe they care for you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have gone as far as they did. Self-sacrifice isn’t in our nature, and for good or ill, Mikael did risk himself to save your Shiro.
“But the truth of the matter is that demonic love is not like the love of a human being. It’s dangerous, obsessive, poisonous, and sometimes even lethal. You likely wouldn’t consider it love at all. It is the only thing we understand and are capable of.
“Take some time to think about that, and then speak with them again. Regardless of how you feel about them, your familiar bond with Mikael is still in place. If you choose to discard it, you’ll need to start preparing for what that’ll mean. Meanwhile, I’ll try to speak to Lucifer, to see if I can make other arrangements for you. It’s a bad idea for you to stay here if you hate them so much.”
“Thank you, Sir,” I replied, feeling numb. It hadn’t occurred to me that I still had the familiar bond to worry about. God, I was so stupid. “I appreciate the help.”
“Don’t thank me. I wish things had been different. But remember, Ms. Michaelis, I’m a demon too. I have my own interests.”
His eyes glinted with dark power, and he leaned forward, invading my personal space. My breathing accelerated. My heart started hammering in my chest.
It was so easy to remember the way he’d touched me in the office, when I’d been in detention. God, no, I couldn’t think about that now. I had other priorities, damn it.
I couldn’t allow myself to fall into this trap again. Mephistopheles had known what my lovers had been doing and had allowed it. Through his inaction, he’d encouraged their behavior. Yes, I had to focus on that, and not on the fact that I really wanted to see him naked.
The door burst open before Mephistopheles could test my resolve further. It was Shiro, and he let out a woof of happiness as soon as he saw I was awake. He jumped on the bed and licked my face, and I laughed, his presence and enthusiasm making the burden that had settled on my heart a little lighter.
“Shiro! Good boy! Who’s my good boy? Did you miss me?”
“Yes, Lyssa,” he replied. “I was so worried.”
His voice was getting a little clearer, and I was relieved that this, at least, I could always rely on. Everything else was changing so quickly, but I still had Shiro, and no matter what, he’d always be by my side.
Unfortunately, Shiro had not come alone. My former roommates, Yolanda and Lena, had decided to accompany him.
“We heard you’d recovered from the attack of the angels!” Yolanda said with a bright, enthusiastic smile. “Welcome back, Alyssa!”
“We’re so proud of you!” Lena added. “Good job kicking the asses of those divine bastards!”
I appreciated the well-wishes, but I had no idea what Lena was talking about. I took one look at her face and decided that in this case, discretion was the better part of valor. I didn’t want to address it, not right now. “Err… Thanks. It was nothing.”
“I’m sure that’s not true!” Yolanda enthused. “You have to—”
“You can ask Ms. Michaelis about that another time,” Mephistopheles cut her off. “For the moment, she still requires rest. Such incidents aren’t easy to handle.”
Yolanda and Lena both pouted, but didn’t seem that surprised at being chased off. “All right,” Yolanda agreed. “But before we go, Alyssa, Mikael said to bring you this.”
Without another word, she walked up to my side and passed me my phone. For a few seconds, I could do nothing but stare. I’d expected anything but that.
It seemed like forever since I’d seen my faithful Samsung. Prior to my arrival to the school, I didn’t go anywhere without it. In that respect, I was no different from any other millennial. Today, I couldn’t even recall where it had been. I wasn’t sure I even remembered the PIN number.
The device shouldn’t have meant as much as it did, but it was just another reminder of how fucked up this entire situation was.
Still, I forced myself to take it, knowing I couldn’t afford to show how upset I was about the recent revelations. “Thanks,” I said with a weak smile. “I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it, Alyssa.”
Mephistopheles ushered the two girls out of the room, leaving me alone with Shiro. I slid my thumb over the touch screen of the Samsung, half-expecting it to not work, since I’d forgotten to charge it.
The device responded just as easily as it always had. The battery was at ninety eight percent. I almost burst into hysterical giggles. It was as if, for the phone, time hadn’t passed at all.
If only that had been true for me too.
Pushing away my useless musings, I speed dialed my mother. She picked up in less than ten seconds. “L-Lyssa? Is that you?”
Tears started flowing down my cheeks as I heard my mother’s voice for the first time in over a year. “Yes, Mom,” I answered tremulously. “Hi. It’s me.”
The words sounded lame, but they seemed enough for my mother. “Lyssa! Oh, thank God! I can’t… I can’t believe it. How are you, darling? Are you okay? Why didn’t you call?”
“I’m sorry about that,” I whispered. “There were… circumstances.”
“Circumstances?” my father repeated. His voice sounded a little weird, and I assumed my mother must’ve put the phone on speaker. “What circumstances? What did those bastards do to you?”
I didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell him the whole story, so instead, I lied. “It’s complicated. I wasn’t on good terms with everyone at the school from the beginning. I had to get permission to use my phone.”
“Are things that strict at the academy?” he inquired. “They’re not hurting you, are they?”
“No, not at all.” Another huge lie, but I couldn’t turn back now. “I promise I’m fine. And I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
My mother let out a choked cry. “When, dear? When can you come home?”
That was a good question. I now knew I had a contract with Lucifer, one I presumably needed to fulfill. It was unclear what my parents had done to reach out to the angels, but whatever it was, it might be too dangerous to get them involved again.
“I’ll try to get permission for this summer,” I finally said. I couldn’t promise m
ore, not when I had no idea what was in store for me.
“This summer?” my mother protested. “But that’s ages away, Lyssa!”
“Yes, I know.” I bit my lower lip, feeling stupid, inadequate, and cruel. “I wish things were different too. But don’t worry. It’s not forever. Just one more year, and I’ll be able to come back home.”
“You’ll graduate in your third year then?” my father asked. “What a relief.”
“It’s not a graduation per se. It’s more like… the minimum I need to take before I get out of here and return home where I belong.”
“That makes sense,” my mother answered. “But… You’re healthy, aren’t you? You are still taking your meds. Didn’t you run out?”
Remembering the whole episode with Lilith burning my medicine, I flinched. I’d never mention it to my mother. “I did, but the school was pretty accommodating. It turns out there are potions that can help me with my problem just as well as regular pills.”
“Oh, Lyssa, I’m not sure…”
“It’s fine, Mom. Trust me on this one. I know I’ve occasionally been careless in the past, but give me some credit.”
My mother sighed. “It’s not you I don’t trust, dear. I just wish there had been another way.” She paused slightly and lowered her voice. “We’ve been looking into some things, options to—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted her.” I have everything in hand, okay? I don’t want you to get involved in anything dangerous.”
I debated telling them about my contract with Lucifer, but it took me about two seconds to realize that would be a terrible idea. It would likely result in them intensifying their efforts to free me, which wouldn’t end well. No, they needed to believe I was safe. We could continue with the previous plan. Archangel Michael might’ve said that my parents had been part of the reason why he’d been able to send the snake after me, but I was reluctant to trust anyone right now.