by Eva Brandt
“I had hoped the school would allow me to get close to you in a more… natural environment. But I didn’t count on you having such an effect on those idiots. Even Mephistopheles seems to have lost all sense.”
How the fuck had he hoped to approach me? It wasn’t like the two of us had interacted that much since I’d arrived at the academy. Had he wanted to use my lovers in some way and they’d averted it because of their unexpected behavior?
“You’re confusing,” I admitted. “No matter what contract we have, the two of us aren’t friends or anything like that.”
“That is beside the point, dearest.” Lucifer shrugged. “I don’t believe in friendship, and some types of affection are more powerful than human minds can comprehend. In this case, I think in your heart, you already know that I’m going to help you. That’s why I sent your Shiro to you, because you needed to be helped and protected.”
I might’ve bristled at that, but the truth was that I didn’t really care about Shiro’s origins. When he’d first told me he was a hell hound, I hadn’t cared. Why should I? He was still my Shiro.
So even knowing that I should’ve been warier of Lucifer’s intentions, I still couldn’t help but value what he’d offered me. “Yes, I know. Thank you for that.”
“He shouldn’t have told you what he was,” Lucifer replied. “When he died, I gave him specific instructions on what he was supposed to do. But he doesn’t obey anyone except you. Familiars can be such a pain.”
“Are you the one who killed him?” I asked, a surge of anger coursing through me. Sparks of fire danced at my fingertips as I remembered my poor pup’s suffering. He might have given Shiro to me, but if he’d also put Shiro through such unwarranted pain out of some crazy desire to prove a point, I would make him suffer.
“I would like to say ‘yes’ to that question, but unfortunately, things aren’t so simple,” he replied. “You’ll find, dearest, that I have enemies, and my servants and loved ones are targeted because of it. And the fact remains that, no matter how much your pup might try to deny it, he is still one of my servants.”
I wanted to ask him who had been the true culprit behind that unforgivable crime, but he moved on before I could do so. “But never mind that. We’re here for a different reason, to bring you back home. Are you ready for your deal?”
A powerful wave of panic replaced my anger. I hated it, but the thought of another ‘deal with the devil’ made me break out in cold sweat. The first one hadn’t gone very well for me so far. He’d yet to address the largest issue, the fact that I had no desire to become a mortal Satan.
Still, he had kept his promise and had rescued my parents. Maybe he truly was my sole option. If he could save me from imminent death, I would embrace it. What else could I do?
“Who’s ever ready for something like that?” I asked. “I’m not and I probably won’t ever be. But go ahead. Tell me what I’m supposed to do now.”
“I can’t blame you for your caution,” he replied, “but this time, it’s not really warranted. My request isn’t that significant. All I want is a kiss.”
“A kiss?” I repeated dumbly. “But… why?”
Were kisses magical in some way? Could he suck out my soul like a Dementor? Hell, demons in the famous manga starring Sebastian Michaelis could do that too.
Lucifer shook his head, bemused by my reaction. “It’s nothing so scary, dearest. Kisses can be magical, it’s true, and they can carry curses, just like they can carry blessings. But in that sense, any contact can be just as dangerous. People just seem to fixate on kisses in their stories. To this day, I’m not sure why.”
By now it had become obvious that he was indeed reading my mind, but I decided against arguing with him about it. “That’s not really an answer, you know,” I replied instead. “If you don’t want my soul, what do you want?”
“I never said I don’t want your soul. I just want you to give it to me willingly. I want you to come to me of your own accord. But that’s a little difficult to accomplish now and I’m not a patient man.”
What did that even mean? Did everything here have to be confusing?
I was beginning to get a headache, something which should’ve been impossible, considering the fact that this space wasn’t real. “So, in conclusion, you want to kiss me because…”
I trailed off, letting him complete the sentence. He sighed in exasperation, but complied. “Because I find you attractive. Yes. I realize it’s not the best way to express my romantic interest toward you, but you have been a naughty girl, consorting with angels, trying to escape me.”
Eek. “To be fair, that wasn’t something I intended. They sent the snake after me. And I was upset about what you and the others did.” Lucifer had been the one to wipe my memories first. In his case, I’d agreed to it, so it was different, but still, it made me kind of uncomfortable.
“Were you? But you’re over it now, right? And you want them back.”
“I… I…” Truthfully, I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted us to go back to our previous relationship, but at the same time, I still felt unsure. “I just want to be happy.”
“I suppose that’s what we all want, isn’t it? A little bit of happiness.”
Lucifer smiled, and this time, it lacked the sharp, poisonous edge of his previous smirks. In fact, it looked almost sad. “That’s what makes life so painful. Most of the time, we can only achieve our happiness at the expense of someone else’s.
“Take you and me. You’re not very happy with the idea of giving me a kiss, are you? But you’re going to give it to me anyway, because I’m forcing you into it.”
“That might be, I prefer this deal to your first option,” I admitted, my heart hammering in my chest. “I’m still not sure why you want me of all people to be Satan.”
“Don’t worry, dearest. All will be revealed. But first, a kiss from a King of Hell to his future queen.”
Wait, what?
Before I could ask him what that meant, his lips were on mine, gentle but insistent, coaxing my mouth open. I couldn’t have pushed him away if I’d tried. There was just something intoxicating about his presence, something that went beyond his dual nature of a demonic, yet celestial being.
There was a reason why they called him the Brightest Star, I thought distantly. This might be a simple kiss, nothing that special or elaborate, but I still felt like I was burning up from the inside, consumed by the heat he emanated.
His fire wasn’t like Stefan’s, Callum’s, Meph’s, or even Mikael’s. It seemed to vibrate through me, as if it had a life of its own. Much to my dismay, I lost myself in it, in his strength, his magic, and his seductive power. When he thrust his tongue into my mouth, I melted against his chest, unable to fight the feeling of rightness that surged through me.
A small part of me was screaming in protest. This should not feel as right as it did. I already had my lovers and their touches should’ve been more than enough.
But that voice was quickly drowned out by Lucifer’s overwhelming presence. I kissed him back, desire exploding through me with the strength of a thousand suns.
He groaned and buried his fingers in my hair, deepening our lip-lock, taking complete ownership of me. His hands traveled over my body, and even if he made no attempt to remove my gown, I didn’t think I’d ever felt so naked and exposed.
His magic seemed to reach straight into me, making heat pool into my groin. My pussy clenched around empty air as I was assaulted by the need to feel something much thicker filling me.
I might’ve done something I would’ve unavoidably regretted had Lucifer not broken the kiss. It took me a couple of seconds to adjust to his absence, but when I did, my eyes widened and I staggered away from him. My lips were still tingling and I was still wet, which, like the headache, shouldn’t have been possible in a mental recreation of The Garden of Eden. And yet, my arousal couldn’t be denied, and I hated myself a little for succumbing so easily to his seduction.
“That was
nice, wasn’t it?” he asked with a tiny smirk.
It had been, but I would never admit it out loud. Even if he could read my mind, even if my reaction had been obvious when we’d been kissing, I refused to acknowledge that I felt anything for him. Maybe it was stupid and in the big picture, it didn’t make a difference, but I had enough on my plate with my four lovers, thank you very much.
As far as I was concerned, this kiss had been nothing more than a way to go back to where I truly belonged. It was entirely acceptable to be attracted to someone who was good-looking. I would not pursue it further and it would all become meaningless.
If Lucifer heard this particular thought, he didn’t seem to mind it. He pulled me closer, swaying back and forth, as if he was dancing. “I think you underestimate yourself, dearest. I won’t begrudge you the love you share with them, because I know you were made to share that love. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let you go either.”
That was very similar to what Mephistopheles had said. I wondered if he’d been talking with his former boss behind my back. If he had, I’d give him the worst tongue lashing in history. His secrets were beginning to blow up in my face, big time. I’d tried to accept and understand his position, but it was a little difficult when I was in this idiotic situation.
For the moment, I’d have liked to take out my frustration on my immediate target, Lucifer. Unfortunately for me, I was denied that comfort.
The sky darkened and the ground beneath our feet started to shake ominously. Lucifer stared at the black clouds and huffed under his breath. “What a drama queen. Why must he always be so overprotective?”
“What?” I asked, my head still spinning after the kiss we’d just shared. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s just Leviathan,” Lucifer explained, turning toward me once again. “He always gets upset when I meddle with one of his subjects.
“Quiet down now, whale,” he shouted to the sky. “I only gave her a kiss. Stop being a helicopter parent.”
The skies rumbled and Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You do realize who I am, right? I’m supposed to take advantage of young women in their moments of vulnerability.”
Next to us, a large rock split neatly in six pieces. Lucifer pursed his lips and let out an irritated sigh. “Okay, fine. If you want to go there. But for fuck’s sake, do not call me that again. Hell be damned…”
I could only hear one part of the conversation, so I had to guess what Leviathan was telling Lucifer. Still, the argument was a little funny, maybe even endearing. Yes, it was terrifying to witness such a display of power, but I didn’t mind it. It was nice to know that, despite being so secretive, my patron, The Lord of Envy himself, cared enough about me to give Lucifer the proverbial shovel talk.
Lucifer didn’t seem intimidated, but he stepped away from me anyway. “It looks like I need permission from your patron to court you now. My own former underlings are giving me a smack down. What’s the world coming to?”
“If you wanted them to be polite, maybe you shouldn’t have stopped being the devil,” I pointed out with a tiny grin.
Seconds later, I realized what I’d just said and to whom. I wanted to take my words back, but I didn’t get the chance. Lucifer burst into laughter, not offended in the slightest. “Touché, Alyssa. Yes, I suppose you are correct there. But I did have my reasons for doing that. Leviathan knows that. He’s just not very convinced I made the right choice, not anymore. But you and I are going to prove him wrong.”
He brushed his fingers over my neck, softly, gently, as if he was taking my pulse. “You are my hope. My dream. My happiness. Mine.” His hand withdrew and I felt the absence of his touch like a strange, physical blow. “I will claim you eventually, but in the meantime, a deal’s a deal.”
He extended his hand, and I realized he was still holding the apple that had fallen from the tree. When he flicked his finger, the fruit was split in two, as if a sword had sliced through it. Lucifer offered me the half he hadn’t bitten into. “Go ahead. Eat. It will help you return to your body. But be careful. You might not like what you find out there.”
“What?” I asked him, now alarmed. “Why?”
“Let’s just say your lovers haven’t been handling your condition very well. I can’t blame them. I might have been just as upset if I’d been placed in their position. But fortunately, I’m not. Now go ahead and eat the apple.”
Eating demonic food stuffs in a space that looked like The Garden of Eden, from Lucifer’s own hand, wasn’t a very good idea. But the deal we’d made went both ways, and so he was compelled to help me get out of here.
“Okay, but I hope you know that if this poisons me or something, I will find a way to come back to haunt you.”
“If anyone could do that, dearest, it’s you,” he replied. “But I think you know very well that I wouldn’t poison you.”
My heart skipped a beat. Not wanting to analyze the reason for the funny feeling too closely, I bit into the fruit.
In fairy tales, whenever Snow White ate the poisoned apple, she immediately fell to the ground, dead. I didn’t fall, nor did I die. Instead, I started floating, as if the damn apple had given me wings. For a few seconds, I lost my balance and flailed around mid-air. Lucifer just laughed at me, the bastard.
“Don’t panic. Let it happen. This is normal.”
“You have a fucked up definition of normal, you know that?” I asked him, knowing I shouldn’t continue defying him like this, but unable to control myself.
“I’m a fallen angel, formerly known as Satan. What did you expect?” He winked at me, as if this was a game and I wasn’t hovering between life and death. “Just trust me on this one, okay? You’re safe, I promise. Let go of your panic and the power will carry you home.”
I had no choice but to believe him. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and forced myself to relax.
At first, I couldn’t get it right. I kept flailing about like a wounded bird, since the mental state of calm Lucifer had mentioned was impossible for me to reach. It was uncomfortably close to having a seizure, except I was aware of every second of it. I decided I couldn’t follow Lucifer’s advice, so instead, I needed a new approach. I channeled my fury and frustration into my core, turning it into pure determination. I remembered my lovers, my parents, my familiar, and how much I wanted to go back to them.
I hadn’t survived my hellish first year just to succumb to a demonic illness, for fuck’s sake. I was better than this. I might not have full control of my magic yet, but the power was there. I just needed to tame it, if only a little.
After what seemed like forever, I regained control of my body, enough, at least, that I was no longer adrift. I would’ve reveled in my success, but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. As I started floating upwards, toward my own world, I could suddenly hear a woman screaming at the back of my mind. A whirlwind of incomprehensible energy assaulted me, threatening to tear me to pieces.
And then, a shield of bright stars surrounded me, protecting me from the onslaught of power. “Go on, dearest,” a voice whispered in my head. “You’re free. For now, you don’t belong here. But be prepared. I will come for you.”
That almost sounded like a threat, and I believed he fully meant it. There were so many other things I’d have liked to ask him. Why did he want me so badly? I was just a regular human. Leaving aside my ancestry, I wasn’t that special, not enough to warrant such attention from Lucifer, at least.
But the stars were ushering me along and Lucifer vanished back into the nothingness. As the blackness surrounded me again, I screamed, terrified that I would be lost and abandoned, trapped in my own head once again.
The sound echoed around me, much louder than I expected. The simple fact that I heard it shocked me to the core. I snapped my eyes open, only to find myself lying in a comfortable bed, in a room I didn’t recognize.
The unfamiliarity was a little unnerving, but still, it was clear Lucifer had kept his word. Of course he had. D
emonic contracts were binding and he couldn’t have gone against it. Did that also mean that he’d been truthful in what he’d told me about my lovers? If so, I needed to get a move on, stat. Before I’d fallen ill, the school had been against Stefan and Mikael. I wouldn’t be surprised if I learned they’d gotten hurt in my absence.
With shaking hands, I tossed the quilt off myself and slid out of the bed. Just as I was about to stand, a familiar canine form manifested from the corner of the room. It was, of course, Shiro and he bounded to my side in a bundle of white fur and enthusiasm. “Lyssa!” he exclaimed, wagging his tail so hard his whole bottom half was shaking. “You’re back! Can you hear me? Can you understand me?”
“Uh… Yes. I’m fine, Shiro. And of course I can understand you.”
When he jumped on the bed, I hugged his neck and passed my hand through his fur. That was when I noticed something wasn’t right. He wasn’t as clean and cared for as usual. Worse still, I could feel his ribs through his coat, as if he’d lost a significant amount of weight. “Shiro? What’s wrong? Did someone harm you? Did they cast another spell on you?”
“Nobody hurt your familiar, Ms. Michaelis,” Professor Grim replied in Shiro’s stead. He manifested from the shadows, with his scythe hovering mid-air behind him. “He hurt himself. You’ve been unconscious for three months. And you’ll find a lot can change throughout that time.”
Acceptance
I’d always known being an epileptic was pretty shitty. I lost time often in my absence seizures and it wasn’t unusual to recover consciousness with no memory of the past hours of my life. But never had I believed that I’d experience a situation like the one I was currently in.
If Professor Grim was to be believed—and I had no reason to doubt him—three whole months had passed while I’d been in status epilepticus. It wasn’t impossible for coma to settle in under such circumstances, but the kind of brain damage I must’ve suffered throughout this time should’ve kept me from returning to my previous life.