by Eva Brandt
And yet, I was standing and walking around fine, experiencing no discomfort. It was undoubtedly a side-effect of Lucifer’s magic.
It was also not something anyone at the academy had been capable of. “Morrigan tried to stabilize your condition and bring you back, but by the time she intervened, the damage was already done,” Professor Grim explained as he performed a complex series of incantations on me. “Humans don’t fare well here. Suffice to say, your lovers didn’t take that news well.”
“I heard,” I replied, feeling increasingly agitated. Professor Grim was refusing to let me out of his quarters and I was Not Happy. “What happened?”
“In a minute. Let me just complete this spell.”
I suppressed the urge to tap my foot and fidget impatiently. Professor Grim’s approach to diagnosis and healing was about as eccentric as he was. His scythe was currently swirling around me in a dizzying circle, threatening to take my head off if I moved a muscle.
I doubted he meant it as a threat, but I couldn’t forget Professor Grim was a unique entity with sensibilities very different from my own. If I underestimated him or made a mistake, my deals with Lucifer might be for nothing, as my life would come to an unpleasant end.
After what seemed like forever, the scythe stopped spinning and returned to his hands, dissipating into nothing. Professor Grim nodded in satisfaction. “I must congratulate you. You are unharmed—or as unharmed as you can be, considering your recent interaction with a certain fallen angel. Of course, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but for now, I suppose we should be happy you’re awake.”
“Yes, that does sound like a huge plus for me, Sir,” I replied, a little more bitingly than I’d have liked. “I think I’m needed here.”
“I can’t argue with you there. But be wary, Ms. Michaelis. Lucifer is far more than he seems. No matter what he tells you, he has his own agenda.”
“The same can be said for every single person in the world. Everyone just wants a little happiness, at any cost. I’m no different, Sir. Now, can you please tell me where I need to go to follow mine?”
“Yes, of course, Ms. Michaelis. How rude of me to keep you here like this. Simply go down the stairs, leave my humble abode, and you’ll see your lovers’ new lair straight ahead.”
Lair? What the fuck had happened when I’d been in a seizure-induced coma? Was he referring to Stefan’s cave or to something else entirely?
Deciding I could ask Shiro these questions, I thanked Professor Grim and left the room. As I sped down the winding staircase of the building, I asked, “Shiro, what’s going on?”
“Well, it’s like this, Lyssa. After you got sick, the Lady Morrigan decided you couldn’t stay in the academy any longer. She believed excessively demonic things might worsen your condition. There was some talk about transferring you to The Heavens, but we couldn’t do that, not unless the angels came after you again. So in the end, Professor Grim took you in his space, which is more like a neutral zone. It seemed to work since your worst seizures stopped, but it wasn’t a real solution.
“It also meant that he and Lady Morrigan were the only ones allowed to see you. I was included after much testing. I’m a hell hound, but my demonic nature is mostly latent, so it doesn’t affect you. Suffice to say, your males weren’t so lucky. They ended up waiting outside, although to this day, I’m not sure to what extent it was their idea.”
He sounded confused and uncomfortable, but I didn’t understand why until I left the building. A monstrous, bulging pustule had appeared a few dozen feet away from Professor Grim’s scythe-like tower. Its surface rippled and bubbled like boiling tar. As I watched, I could’ve sworn I caught a glimpse of twisted hands and faces reaching out to me from underneath the inky substance.
Instinctively, I took a step forward, my stomach turning at the thought that my lovers were stuck there. Shiro grabbed the hem of my new dress and stopped me. “Be careful, Lyssa. That thing… It tends to not react well when people approach. Just the other day, I heard it ate some students.”
“But that’s exactly why I have to go, Shiro,” I told him. “I need to help them.”
“No, you don’t understand, Lyssa. Your males are fine. They’re unharmed. It’s everyone else who is the problem. As I understand it, that thing is an expression of your males’ darkness. They’re inhabiting it and it’s hurting people.”
Wonderful. I was gone for three months and my lovers had decided to camp out in the cannibalistic, monstrous love child of a butterfly cocoon and a trailer. How was this my life?
I stared at the strange, disgusting pustule and took a deep breath. “Well, I guess that settles it then. I don’t think it’s dangerous for me.”
Shiro whimpered, his tail now between his legs. “But Lyssa…”
I hated worrying him, especially after just waking up from a long coma, but I had no choice. “They need me and I can’t fail them. Besides, Shiro, I trust them to not hurt me. And even if I didn’t, some things are more important than others.”
If they had surrounded themselves with such poison, I had to draw them out. Our relationship had suffered after what I’d found out from Archangel Michael, but in my heart, I had still hoped that something could be salvaged. That was why I’d reached out to them before I’d fallen ill. I hadn’t changed my mind. I would reach that goal, no matter what price I had to pay.
Decision made, I approached the pustule. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t what happened. The fleshy wall parted like a door, inviting me inside.
I’d seen this sort of thing before during my stay at the academy, the first time being on the day of my arrival here. But it was different now. When I walked into the depths of the strange cocoon, the dark edges of the wall extended like fingers, caressing my body.
It should’ve been terrifying, maybe even disgusting. To a certain extent, it made me uncomfortable. But at the same time, I felt echoes of my lovers’ magic within that touch, so it also encouraged me, telling me that they were waiting for me here.
Finding them turned out to be pretty easy. The cocoon wasn’t too big and only had two massive chambers. The first one I entered was empty, but in the second one, I found my targets.
Meph, Callum, and Stefan were all leaning over a kneeling Mikael, although I couldn’t immediately figure out why. Magic pulsed around them, vivid and bright, so powerful it felt alive. My breath caught and my knees went weak.
It hadn’t been that long since I’d seen them. For me, it felt like an hour, if that. Even so, they looked different. Like Shiro, they had physically changed, far more than I’d expected.
Mephistopheles was bulkier, his body having grown more demonic in my absence. His skin was a darker crimson and his wings boasted sharp, wicked spikes. His tail was longer and its triangular tip had turned as sharp as a razor. Similarly, Stefan seemed to have become a little more wolf-like. His fur was thicker and he wasn’t wearing clothes at all anymore.
Callum had changed less, from a physical point of view, but there was an aura of despair around him that hadn’t been there before. He’d always been a very sexual person, emanating lust wherever he went. Now, that feeling had been replaced by utter hopelessness.
And then, there was Mikael. He was on the floor, with his head bent and his naked back exposed. The stumps on his amputated wings were turning into new appendages, although they didn’t look like the ones he’d had before. Instead, shadows flickered over his bare skin, both pulling away and sliding into him. TB wriggled around next to him in impatient anguish.
Whatever my lovers were doing stopped mattering when they sensed my presence. Like one being, they turned toward me, and I froze as I found myself facing four pairs of dead eyes.
“Hi,” I somehow managed to say. “So… I’m back.”
The words came out stilted and inappropriate, insufficient for the depth of the moment. For a few seconds, we just stared at one another, the silence stretching between us awkwardly. I
didn’t know what else to do, and they didn’t seem to have the courage to move or approach me.
At last, Shiro took the initiative and let out an angry bark. “That’s enough, foolish males. Yes, she’s alive. Yes, she’s really here. Do something, or I will deem you unworthy of her attention.”
I wasn’t sure any of them understood his words, but the bark alone was enough to convey the message and snap them out of their trance. Mikael shot to his feet, his eyes wide and his magic flailing around him in agitated waves. “But how? We were told the chances for your recovery were slim to none.”
I debated the merits of hiding what had happened earlier, and then remembered we’d promised one another to always be honest. “Lucifer. It seems he’s not done with me yet. He’s the one who healed me.”
Meph pursed his lips, clearly displeased by my explanation. “I see. That makes sense.”
It didn’t, not to me. As far as I was concerned, everyone had started to behave in an illogical manner. He knew more about this whole story than he’d told me, and I’d drag it out of him by force if I had to.
But first, I had to make sure no one was irreversibly damaged by this disaster. “What are you guys up to? What’s all this?”
As I spoke, I waved a hand in Mikael’s general direction and pointed at the strange pulsing walls. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve been messing with things you shouldn’t have touched?”
“Because you’ve always been very smart.” Callum smiled sharply. “You might as well know, then. We were trying to extract Mikael’s demonic essence.”
“We knew we needed an angel to heal you, but after a month or so, it became obvious they weren’t willing to help out,” Stefan elaborated. “We even tried to move you to The Mortal Realm, but that just made it worse.”
Wow. Shiro hadn’t mentioned that.
“In the end, we realized we were on our own with this,” Mikael offered. “But if I regained my divine powers, if I managed to remove the demonic magic polluting me, I’d be able to heal you, to bring you back.”
It was the exact opposite of what he’d done to himself when we’d torn the familiar bond between us. I was horrified to think that he was willing to once again mutilate himself for my sake.
“Are you all crazy? Don’t you realize I would have never wanted something like that?”
“It’s not always about what you want, Alyssa,” Meph replied. “When someone suffers, that person is not the only one in pain. We’re selfish enough to not care about your wishes, as long as that pain stops, for us.”
His voice sounded deeper, rougher, and I realized Mikael wasn’t the only one affected by the process. Right. No wonder they looked different if they were extracting Mikael’s demonic energies. Their demonic qualities were becoming more pronounced. And Callum was undoubtedly having trouble because he was still carrying the familiar bond I’d rejected.
I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. A demonic love. A destructive love. This was what it meant—pain, suffering, obsession.
Meph had told me once that I wasn’t forced to accept what Mikael, Callum, and Stefan offered. He’d claimed that, as a human, I wasn’t compatible to this kind of relationship. But at the same time, here at the academy, I’d learned that demons hated weakness of any kind and were never willing to sacrifice themselves for others.
“We’re as natural as humans,” Callum and Gemma had said, during our very first conversation.
Maybe they’d been right all along and that was the whole point. Maybe a demonic love was as natural as a human one. Different, but still something precious, to be valued.
As that thought crossed my mind, something seemed to click inside me, like a switch had just been flipped. A weight disappeared off my shoulders. Suddenly, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
I stalked up to Mikael and poked his naked chest. “Well, there’s no reason to perform any spell now. I’m obviously back, so you can stop this insanity.”
My proximity finally drove my lovers into action. They surrounded me from every angle, sweeping their greedy hands over every inch of skin they could reach. Feverish kisses landed over my cheeks, shoulders and neck. Desperate words mingled in a jumble I shouldn’t have understood, but somehow did.
“It’s really true. You’re here.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“I’m not hallucinating this, am I, Callum?”
“If you are, so am I.”
It hurt to know that they’d been through so much anguish because of me, but I controlled my tempestuous emotions. I needed at least some degree of composure to reach out to them. “Yes, I’m here, and so are you,” I said. “We’re together again. And if you care about me like you claim, you won’t hurt yourselves, ever again. Not for me, not for anything.”
“We can’t promise that, Lyssa,” Callum said seriously. “We’re always going to act for your benefit, no matter what it costs us.”
I let out a frustrated huff. “Well, then, we’ll just have to find a compromise, because I refuse to accept your suffering. And I certainly won’t accept you rejecting any part of yourselves.
“I was angry with you for what you did, it’s true. And I would still be angry and hurt if you tried something like that again. But even so, I accept that it’s in your nature. I won’t turn you away, not again.”
The words seemed to hold physical weight, and the whole room filled with a tension of unprecedented proportions.
“You… accept us?” Stefan asked, as if he couldn’t believe his ears.
“Yes,” I said with no hesitation. “No matter what. Nothing is more important than what we share.”
To prove my point, I pressed a kiss to his lips. His face was deformed because of his shift, so it did feel a little weird, but I didn’t let that deter me. When he tried to turn away, I growled in frustration. “Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t be ashamed of who and what you are. I’m not.”
“I’m an animal,” Stefan mumbled, taking a step back. “You shouldn’t even be in my presence, especially not when I’m like this.”
“Why don’t you let me make that decision?” I shot back. “I think I know my own mind now, no interference needed, and I’m confident that I want this.”
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Lyssa,” Callum said. “What we’ve done until now is nothing compared to our true skills and desires.”
I’d always known that they were holding back with me, but hearing it stated outright still pissed me off. “I’ll admit that maybe I’m not completely prepared for what you can do. But give me some credit, okay? I can learn and I’m not that fragile.”
My lovers shared a look. Stefan, Callum, and Mikael all turned toward Meph, silently asking him for his opinion. I would’ve been annoyed that they were deferring to him, but I had just woken up from a coma, so it was honestly miraculous they were willing to consider my suggestion.
“It should be fine,” Meph said after a few seconds. He brushed his lips over mine, and the kiss reminded me of the one I’d shared with Lucifer. “She still carries Lucifer’s blessing,” he said when he pulled away. “It’s safe now.”
Mikael cursed. “Fuck. You’re the one who’s supposed to have sense. When you put it that way, how could we possibly refuse?”
I wondered if they realized what Lucifer’s blessing had entailed, if they blamed me for it, for the arousal I’d experienced when he had touched me. I’d have to tell them, sometimes soon, perhaps when the situation was less explosive.
Either way, they didn’t seem inclined to ask me about it. Instead, Mikael pulled me into his arms and crushed our mouths together. There was no more time for gentleness and slow exploration. There was only the despair and the need, the almost suffocating desire to turn our bodies into a single being. I leaned against his powerful chest and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal fervor. My wrists brushed the stumps of his growing wings and he shivered, groaning into our kiss. I would’ve
thought he was in pain had I not felt his erection against me through the material of my dress and his pants.
Much too soon, Mikael broke our lip-lock. I didn’t get the chance to catch my breath, though, as it was Callum’s turn to claim my mouth. Mikael refused to release me from his arms, so it should’ve been awkward to kiss Callum. It wasn’t. Somehow, we made it work.
The aura around Callum changed completely. At first, his kisses held the taste of panic, as if he was afraid that, if he stopped, I would disappear. But with every passing second, that flavor changed into something more mellow, just as deep, but more confident.
I let myself fall into it, trusting Callum to catch me if I ever stumbled. After all the pain we’d gone through, we deserved these moments of togetherness, of visceral desire and simple acceptance.
Two clawed hands swept over my shoulders and back, slicing through the straps of my gown. The dress slid to the floor, leaving me almost naked. I didn’t flinch, not even when I felt the sharp tips rake over my skin ever so slightly. By now, I was used to the sensation, and I reveled in it. It was a promising start. Meph had done similar things before, but even when he’d spanked me, he’d always been careful to not break the skin. This time, I had a feeling it would be different.
Confirming my thoughts, Callum tore his mouth away from mine. Mikael took me in his arms and placed me on a soft surface that hadn’t been there before. He spread my legs, tore my panties off with his teeth, and buried his tongue into my pussy.
It was so sudden that I couldn’t help but scream. Every single time I’d been together with my lovers, they’d liked to initiate a gradual seduction. They’d never fucked me outright, even when they were desperate for me, even when I’d been the one to ask for it.
The sudden change threw me, and I cried out and writhed underneath Mikael, begging for more. Mikael followed my wishes, his clever fingers easily finding my swollen clit, toying with the sensitive nub, driving me wild with pleasure.
But Mikael was not alone in his quest to overwhelm me. Callum and Meph joined us, and within seconds, I found myself pinned to the soft surface, strands of shadow immobilizing me and keeping me from continuing my struggles.