by Eva Brandt
Everyone else who might have understood was at the academy. I couldn’t exactly get them to come here just so that I could cry on their shoulders.
Wait, no. That wasn’t true. I was so stupid. Of course I still had someone whom I could share my thoughts with—my very first friend, who had supported me even before we’d been able to talk through words. I didn’t know why the idea hadn’t occurred to me sooner, but now it seemed obvious.
“Shiro can help me,” I said. “I take in the meantime, we won’t be able to practice mind magic.”
“Not yet, no,” Professor Grim answered. “I’ll see what else I can do. Perhaps Morrigan can come see you and she can bring Redrum. Yes, if I pick up some of her duties, it shouldn’t be too tough.”
That would work well. I liked Morrigan and she was a good listener. She’d never judged me for my decisions and she wasn’t involved in this whole thing.
Thinking back, she must’ve known the truth about me too. Her argument with Lilith had undoubtedly been about that. The secrecy upset me, but I couldn’t cling to that anger, not if I wanted to make progress with my magic.
“I understand,” I told Professor Grim. “I’ll do my best, Sir.”
“Good. You do have what it takes, Alyssa. Otherwise, you would’ve never received this gift. You just can’t rush it.”
“Thank you. I’ll remember your advice.”
With a final nod, Professor Grim disappeared. In the wake of his departure, I was left standing there awkwardly, facing Stefan’s mother and his grandfather.
I didn’t know what to say, but they did better. “Let’s go inside, Alyssa,” Emil said, taking me in his arms. “You need to rest. Stefan would probably tear my throat out if he found out what happened here today.”
I wanted to protest, but something kept me silent. I’d already caused enough trouble today without questioning the leader of the pack that was keeping me safe.
As Emil carried me back into the lair of the hell hounds, a question swirled over and over in my head. How was I supposed to use the magic of hope, if I was losing hope myself?
* * *
That night, I had a nightmare, for the first time since I’d left the academy. It didn’t star Eve at all. Instead, I saw my lovers, and all of them were staring at me accusingly.
“Liar.”
“Thief.”
“Slut.”
“You took our minds from us.”
“How could you?”
“We’ll never love you.”
“You’re useless.”
Their words bombarded me from every possible direction and I screamed as each sentence hit me like shotgun fire. On some level, I knew it was all a dream, but it seemed so real. The iciness of Mikael’s eyes burned me. The poison in Meph’s voice made my heart hurt. Stefan and Callum’s fury made me want to pretend I didn’t exist. Lucifer’s disdain tore me apart more efficiently than Eve ever could.
I woke up in a panic, with tears flowing down my cheeks. Shiro was, as always, by my side. The comforting glow of the familiar bond soothed me, but not enough to chase away the shadows of my fear. “I’m scared, Shiro,” I confessed. “What if I can’t do this after all? What if I can’t control this weird power?”
“The Reaper has already said you can, Lyssa,” Shiro replied. “He wouldn’t have lied.”
“Yes, but… I just can’t seem to figure it out.”
“No one can control power like yours overnight. You already knew that, before we found out the truth. Like The Watchers said, this will take time.
“But that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I’d say it’s better. And it’ll help you make a real decision about your males. I think that’s something to look forward to.”
“Really? How so?”
“It’s quite simple, isn’t it?” Shiro asked. “The magic you cast on them will fade away in your absence. Then we will learn who truly cares for you and who doesn’t. That way, you can choose your true male. And you can breed with him.”
His reply made complete sense until the last sentence. “Shiro! Where did that come from?”
“I might disagree with many of the things the other hell hounds say, Lyssa, but I’ll agree with one thing. You are a very breedable female.”
“Breedable isn’t a word, Shiro. And I don’t want children right now. You know that.”
Shiro tilted his head at me. “Don’t you? From your exchanges with your males, I surmised that you were interested.”
Did he mean all the times me and my lovers had had sex? Oh, God, what conclusions had he drawn? Three-quarters of the time, he had been there, so of course, he would’ve seen my shameless behavior.
“Shiro, no. I… Breeding is a very bad idea now, okay?”
“Okay, but just so you know, when you’re ready to have pups, I will welcome it.”
The whole conversation was so weird that I felt I needed a breath of fresh air. I left my bed and got dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I exited my room, making my way through the intricate cave with ease.
The entrance of the lair was guarded and I didn’t really want to provide any explanations to the sentries. But I owed my hosts that much, so I didn’t try to hide.
When the guards sensed me approach, they got up and shot me alarmed looks. One of them was Josef, Stefan’s brother. “Ms. Michaelis?” he asked. “Is anything wrong?”
I shook my head and smiled, even if I wasn’t in a good mood at all. “I just need to go for a walk. Cabin fever, I guess?”
“Ah, of course.” Josef’s stance grew a little less tense and at the same time, more interested. “Happens to us all. Do you want company? I can come with you.”
I suppressed a flinch. The last thing I wanted was to have Stefan’s brother tagging along, when he likely wanted to breed me as much as Stefan did.
Not even Shiro seemed enthused about the prospect of Josef’s presence, despite having said he’d welcome any pups I’d have. “I think this male has baleful intentions toward you, Lyssa. Don’t let him come with us.”
I didn’t intend to. “Thanks,” I told Josef, “but I’ll have Shiro with me. I’ll be fine. And I wouldn’t want to interrupt your work.”
To his credit, Josef didn’t push me. He and his companion allowed me to pass without further comment. Side by side, Shiro and I left the cave and headed out into the wild.
The forest outside the hell hound’s lair was beautiful and untamed, reminding me very much of my lover’s shifted form. There was no real path to follow from the cave, as hell hounds didn’t need anything like that. But I’d been around long enough to not get lost and I had Shiro with me. I was confident that I’d be fine.
As we headed deeper into the woods, the fresh scent of pine and wet earth assaulted my nostrils. My sneakers weren’t the best type of footwear for this trek, so I slipped once or twice. It was still nice, refreshing, and I took comfort in the tranquility, in the light of the full moon and the feel of the wind as it blew through my hair.
I didn’t get to enjoy the peace and quiet for too long. Half an hour after I’d left the cave, Shiro let out a low growl. A shadowy figure emerged from the forest, panting. “Alyssa… Thank Satan I found you.”
I instantly recognized the voice of my surprise visitor. It was Darling, my former housemate and the closest thing I’d had to a platonic friend at the academy.
“Darling? What are you doing here?”
I hadn’t spoken to her in ages. Last year, I’d rescued her from that weather anomaly when it had been raining cats and dogs, but we hadn’t gotten the chance to interact much beyond that. Why was she here now? How had she even gotten to Stefan’s pack lands?
I wanted to ask, but then, she stepped into the light, and I got a better look at her. She was covered in blood, and through her torn dress, I could see jagged, ugly wounds marring her body. Her usually braided, immaculate hair was filthy and undone.
“It’s terrible, Lyssa. You need to come quick. Mikael and the others… They’
re completely out of control.”
This wasn’t news to me, as Lucifer had told me that my lovers weren’t dealing with my absence in a very healthy way. But I hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad, and I’d thought that if there had been an emergency, Professor Grim would’ve warned me about it.
Then again, maybe not. Thinking back, he had mentioned that Morrigan had other duties. It hadn’t struck me as strange, since she was only a part-time teacher, but maybe there had been more to it than I’d realized. “I’ll come, of course,” I said. “How did you get here?”
“I ran through the transport point,” Darling replied. “It was still operational, although that might not be the case for long. I’m not sure what The Watchers are doing, but I think they won’t fight Lucifer if they’re put in that position.”
“Lucifer is participating in it too, I take it.”
Fuck. I should’ve known our argument wouldn’t end well. I should’ve done more instead of just waiting here like an idiot and having panic attacks.
By now, Darling was shaking so badly that I wondered how she could even stay upright. “Something happened a while back. I’m not sure what. They’ve been pretty anxious since you left, but for the most part, they didn’t take it out on the student body. But I guess the tension built up because suddenly…”
She trailed off, obviously unable to finish the sentence. She didn’t have to anyway, because I got the message. “Okay. We’ll go. Don’t worry. I can handle this.”
Shiro tugged on my jeans, stopping me from rushing forward. “Lyssa, we should tell Stefan’s pack about this. If it’s so bad, they could help.”
I wanted to kick myself for not realizing that on my own. “That’s a good idea, Shiro,” I said. “Stefan’s grandfather might be able to deal with—”
“No!” Darling cut me off. “Alyssa, we can’t. We can’t tell them.”
“But why?” I asked, turning toward her. I couldn’t understand her thought process. Reinforcements from the hell hounds would surely come in handy. I’d go with them, of course, but having Stefan’s pack along wouldn’t hurt.
Darling swallowed nervously. “I don’t think they’d be very happy with the idea of me being in their territory. As a rule, hell hounds don’t like nephilim. They made an exception in Mikael’s case, because his mother wasn’t a regular demon and she did need help, but with the rest of us…”
As she spoke, her wings emerged from her back. They didn’t look exactly like Mikael’s. Instead, one of them was white and the other black, each of them matching her Cruella-like hair.
My mind went blank at the sight. “You’re a nephilim?”
It was a stupid question, since she’d already said so and had proved it by displaying her wings. Still, I couldn’t help myself.
Darling nodded, not seeming very surprised by my reaction. “That’s how I escaped. I flew.”
That did change things a little. Mikael and Stefan had known one another all their lives, but Stefan had still occasionally insulted Mikael about his angel parentage. Darling might be right in that the hell hound pack wouldn’t listen to her.
“Okay,” I said. “We’re wasting time anyway. I think that if I go to the school, I’ll be able to make them see sense. Shiro, you go back and let the pack know.”
This way, they’d be notified and could come offer their aid if we absolutely needed it and I could still step in.
“I can’t just let you go alone, Lyssa,” Shiro insisted. “You need me.”
“I’ll be fine. I can protect myself. Besides, they’d never hurt me.” We might have our differences, but even at their worst, before I’d used my power on them, they hadn’t hurt me physically.
Shiro hung his head, obviously still not thrilled with my idea. Even so, he complied. “Okay,” he said, “but be careful.”
I allowed myself the luxury of petting his head one more time. “I promise.”
Shiro licked my face and, without another word, turned away. As he disappeared into the greenery like a white shadow, I turned toward Darling. “Okay. Let’s go.”
The transport point in the hell hound forest wasn’t very far from where we were, but it seemed to take us ages to get there. Darling limped the whole way, her body jerking as if she was being electrocuted.
“Side effects of Lucifer’s magic,” she explained. “It’ll wear off soon.”
I couldn’t do much to help her since I didn’t have the necessary physical strength and her body was too heavy for me to support. I made a mental note to find medical attention for her as soon as we reached the academy.
The transport point was at the very edge of the wards. Here, it looked a lot like a ritual circle, and the moment Darling walked inside it, her stance straightened.
She grabbed my shoulder and her hold on me was painfully tight. “All right. To The Scholomance.”
Her tone held something sharp and eerie, and I wanted to ask her why we were headed to The Scholomance. I didn’t get the chance. Bright light exploded around us, and we left the forest of the hell hounds, tumbling through the nothingness, toward our destination.
We landed hard, on a rocky terrain that felt so hot underneath my touch it brought to mind volcanic lava. Instantly apprehensive, I shot to my feet and looked around.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Yes, I was in the ruins of The Scholomance, but the place was very different from what it had once been. The quiet citadel was in flames, although the blaze wasn’t burning anything. The remnants of the beautiful columns glowed with symbols reminiscent of Morrigan’s megaliths, but emanating a foul, malicious power. I realized that I’d made a huge mistake.
“Believe it or not, I’m sorry about this, Alyssa,” Darling said. She took a step away from me, her eyes glinting with regret. “I wish there were another way, but there isn’t.”
Her words reminded me of two things—Eve’s attack on me, and the horrible moment when I’d helplessly watched Mikael’s wings get amputated. Memories flashed through my mind, the taste of terror, tears, and blood filling my mouth.
I had no idea if she’d done it on purpose, but the end result was that, even knowing I should really try to find my way out of here, I couldn’t move a muscle.
“Lyssa!” I heard someone cry out. “Run.”
The voice was familiar enough that I managed to turn. That was when I saw them. My lovers were there too, tied up against the rocky wall, like prisoners on death row.
What the fuck?
A million questions rushed through my mind. How could this have happened? Darling was only a student, nowhere near powerful enough to immobilize them. Even assuming she was hiding some extra skills, she couldn’t have taken out Meph. And yet, he was there too, out cold, his wings bloody and ripped apart in sections.
I couldn’t see Lucifer. Could he have been the one to do this? Had he told Darling to lure me here?
No, that didn’t make any sense. He could’ve come for me himself, at any time. Besides, my heart refused to accept that he’d do something like this.
In any case, I knew I had to do something to free them. I couldn’t let my panic cripple me and keep me from helping them.
I never got the chance to try. Another figure manifested by my side, emanating fierce, malicious magic. “Welcome, Alyssa Michaelis, to hell,” he said.
Jax Masters’s smirking face was the last thing I saw before a burning sword swept toward me and I knew no more.
Stefan’s Stand
When I’d first met Alyssa Michaelis, I’d hated her. Hell hounds didn’t much care for humans. It was in our nature to despise them. As a rule, the only ones we came in contact with were filthy, pathetic excuses for souls. While my pack no longer guarded the gates of hell, that attitude had lingered.
I had no idea when that feeling had changed. Maybe it had been when she’d faced me with such fearlessness. From the very beginning, the chemistry between us had been there, but chemistry alone wouldn’t have been enough to draw me to her.
When she’d defied me, though… Oh, yes, I’d wanted to make her scream. Preferably with pleasure, but I’d take what I could get.
At one point, that desire had turned into more, into something special. We had betrayed her and lied to her, but she’d still accepted me in my shifted form. No one had ever done that. I hadn’t thought anyone could—except perhaps Mikael and Callum.
And then, that blasted fallen angel had shown up and dumped the truth of her nature on her shoulders. She’d become convinced that we didn’t have any real feelings for her.
I hadn’t been able to give her any reassurances, because they would’ve been false. I’d had no way of knowing to what extent her powers had affected me. But I also couldn’t have cared less about that. If she’d just wanted to stay, I wouldn’t have minded living under her spell forever.
But she had not wanted to stay and I hadn’t been able to keep her trapped. And that stupid mistake had brought us here, to this accursed moment.
Everything had happened so quickly. I hadn’t seen it coming. Mikael and I had been trying to find traces of the true Satan for months, and Lucifer had joined us, bringing tidbits of information from mysterious sources he’d never revealed to us.
We hadn’t been able to find much, but we had put the school back in order. Mephistopheles had taken charge of the whole fiasco and had made sure no one who was dangerous for Lyssa could ever set one foot on the island.
After Lilith and Cain had left—missing some pieces—we had believed that we were making progress. We’d been so wrong.
The day before, we’d come back from one of our trips and had found Leviathan’s painting empty. This had only happened once throughout my stay here, during the anomalous snowfall that had made Lyssa fall ill.
Mikael had taken one look at the blank painting and had said, “Okay, I don’t like this. We need to talk to Mephistopheles.”
We’d barely left the dorm when someone had jumped us. I would’ve liked to say that I’d managed to put up a fight, but that wasn’t what had happened.