Autumn Leaves

by Kathleen Y'Barbo

  “Oh.” Skye ran her hand through the length of her ponytail, then worried the end of it.

  “So I finally asked her why she always draws her mama with a ponytail. Do you know what she said?” When Skye shook her head, the older woman continued. “She said because that’s what she looks like. Now I wonder, how does Pansie know what her mama looks like?”

  For a moment, the kindness disappeared from Bonnie Sue’s eyes. Had she not been watching, Skye might have missed it, because a second later, her gentle expression returned.

  Skye reached for her tea glass and drank the rest of it.

  “If you’ll look at the backs of these pictures,” Bonnie Sue continued, “you’ll see that she only started drawing her mama recently. My Sessa, she’s kept just about everything Pansie’s ever created, be it a potholder or a Christmas ornament, and she dates everything.”

  Skye flipped through the pile even as she wished she might have been the kind of mama to her little girl who received gifts of potholders or Christmas ornaments. Or even hand-drawn pictures on pale yellow construction paper.

  “Don’t you find it interesting that she drew her first picture of you the day after her fourth birthday?” Again there was that fleeting disappearance of congeniality and then the return of the old woman’s smile. “Well, I know I did, but I didn’t want to worry my daughter. So I asked her husband to review their security footage. You know, just to see if maybe there was a reason why Pansie decided to start drawing her mama the day after her fourth birthday.”

  “And there was,” Skye said as guilt enveloped her.

  “Yes, Autumn,” Bonnie Sue echoed. “There was. But you know that.” She glanced up and smiled. “Oh look. Here’s our lunch.”

  Sandy placed two plates of shrimp nachos in front of them and then stepped back. “Anything else I can get you?” She looked at Skye’s empty tea glass. “Other than more tea?”

  “I think we’re fine,” Bonnie Sue said. “I sure do love these shrimp nachos.”

  “Apparently,” Sandy said.

  Bonnie Sue dusted salt over her nachos and then dug in, leaving Skye to sit and watch, her appetite gone. “I didn’t mean any harm,” she said. “I just . . .” She just what? “I just wanted to see her for myself.”

  “And you did.”

  “Yes.” There was no need to explain that she’d intended to take her. There were no rewards for crimes planned but not committed.

  “Why didn’t you take her then?” She paused. “Did you change your mind, or was your plan just to have a look and then go?” Bonnie Sue shook her head. “No, it doesn’t matter why. What matters is what we do about this.”

  Sandy returned with the tea pitcher and refilled both glasses. Skye’s distress must have shown, because the waitress gave her a curious look before departing.

  “I’ve got a proposal for you, Autumn, and I want you to think carefully before you respond.” She paused. “Are you a praying woman? That is, do you believe that the Lord directs our steps?”

  “I do believe He does.” And that’s why Pansie is still in Sugar Pine. Of course she didn’t say that. She couldn’t. But it was true.

  “What is your fondest wish for your daughter?”

  “That she not grow up to be like me.” The words slipped out before she could reel them back in. Skye hid her shame by taking a gulp of tea.

  “Honey,” Bonnie Sue said gently. “After what you’ve done for that little girl of yours, and what you’ve given up to provide a better life for her? I don’t think you realize the gift you’ve given her.”

  “The gift of my absence,” she said. “Yes, I do realize.”

  “No, Autumn.” Bonnie Sue reached across the table to press her palm atop Skye’s hand. “The gift of your strength.”

  Another sip of tea, and Skye set the glass aside and returned her attention to the stack of artwork. “Why did you bring these to me? Is it a warning to stay away?” She lifted her gaze. “Because you don’t have to do that.”

  Bonnie Sue lifted one shoulder, a sort of dismissive shrug that indicated the answer was obvious. “I brought them because Pansie drew them for you.”

  Not what she’d expected. “Thank you.”

  “But there’s more.” She leaned back in her chair and seemed to study Skye. “As I said, I have a proposal for you. I want you to come back to Sugar Pine.”

  Listen.

  “No.” Skye set her napkin on the table, pushed away, and rose. “I can’t do that to my daughter. I think my poor attempt at mothering back on her birthday proves that.”

  “Sit down, Autumn. I’m not finished.” She waited until Skye had complied and then sighed. “Pansie will be starting pre-K next month. Without guardianship papers, Sessa cannot enroll her.”

  “Oh.”

  “We need you to hand over guardianship to Sessa.”

  “I see.” Bonnie Sue wanted her to make the arrangement she’d had with Pansie’s paternal grandmother official. It was just papers. And yet something about it didn’t sit well with her.

  “Nerves, I’d say.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I think what you’re feeling is nerves. You’ll have to sign those papers. Once that’s done, it’s up to you what part you play in her life. However, I think it only fair that she be introduced to the woman she believes only visits her at the window.”

  Skye let that sink in, and the tightness in her chest worsened.

  “I’m asking a lot of you,” Bonnie Sue continued, “but you haven’t heard the rest of it.” She paused. “There’s something in this for you, too.”

  “I don’t want anything.” She shook her head though she felt like shaking her fists. “I want to do what’s best for Pansie. Send me the papers, and I’ll sign them.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No,” Bonnie Sue repeated. “If you’re going to sign away your rights to that little girl, I want you to spend time with her first.” Skye opened her mouth to speak, but the older woman held up her hand to silence her. “Trust me. This is what’s best for your daughter.” The woman nodded toward the stack of artwork. “She’s obviously wondering who you are. All I’m asking is for you to show her.”

  Maybe, but what did she have to offer Pansie? What if she was a disappointment to Pansie like she had been to everyone else in her life? “I don’t know.”

  “At least you’re not saying no anymore.” She paused. “Look honey, I know I am asking a lot. I plan to give a lot in return. I will pay you twice what Myra—”

  “Myrna,” Skye corrected.

  “All right, what Myrna pays you. I will give you your own cottage on our property where you’ll have a nice private place to stay. And I will give you one more thing, something that I think will chase away any nerves you might have about trusting me on this.”

  Listen.

  The voice was so quiet, so real. And so, she did. “What’s that?”

  “I have already set aside two bank accounts. One is for Pansie, and she can only use it to pay for her college expenses. It’s more than enough for wherever she wants to go.”

  “Really?” Skye couldn’t believe that the meager amount she’d been scraping together would be replaced by a fund large enough for her baby to do whatever she wanted.

  “Really.” Once again Bonnie Sue reached across the table. This time she grasped both of Skye’s hands in hers. “But there’s another account, and it’s for the same purpose. A completely paid for college education.”

  “Why would she need two?”

  Bonnie Sue’s smile rose. “Oh honey, that one’s not for her. It’s for you.”

  The dream shimmered in front of Skye for an extended moment. College. She’d wanted it so badly back when she’d wanted it all. Ross. Pansie. An education.

  Skye pulled away and stood again. “I can’t take your money. I won’t. My daughter isn’t for sale.”

  Bonnie Sue stood and snatched up her purse. “Of course she’s not! She’s your daught
er, and as her mother, you are the one who will make decisions for her. Decisions that are in her best interest.”

  “Yes,” Skye said. “You’re right.”

  “And a little girl who is happy where she is needs assurance she can continue to live there, don’t you think? For that matter, so do the people who are raising her, and moreover, so do the folks at Sugar Pine ISD.”

  Bonnie Sue’s mention of the independent school district—ISD—was another reminder of what Sessa could give Pansie. “Yes, of course.”

  “I’m just asking to buy a month of your time so you can get to know her.” Bonnie Sue lifted her finger to point at Skye. “Not for your benefit but for my great-granddaughter’s. I don’t want her drawing pictures of some phantom mommy. Do you understand?”

  “But how can I show up, get to know her, and then leave again? Won’t that be more disruptive than staying away?”

  “Honey, you might not always want to stay away. None of us know the future, and neither Sessa nor I are getting any younger. You may have to step in someday. Or do you prefer to leave her to some foster care system?”

  The statement struck her in the heart. “No!”

  Bonnie Sue smiled gently. “I thought not. So I think you’re going to have to trust me. We’ll introduce you gradually. Once Pansie understands her mommy is just one of a whole bunch of people who love her, maybe she’ll stop waiting at the window for you to come back. What do you think?”

  Skye let out a long breath and stared at the envelope. “It just feels wrong to be bought like that. I can’t let you pay me.”

  “Fair enough,” she said. “What else?”

  “Sending me to college? Mrs. Bonnie Sue, it’s far too generous. I just cannot accept it.”

  “Well that’s a shame.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a sealed envelope, which she set on top of the stack of Pansie’s artwork. “It’s already been done. The money is in an irrevocable trust, and it’s yours. It’d be a shame not to use it, but if you don’t, no one else can. It’ll go to charity instead.”

  College. It was too much to consider.

  Listen.

  She was trying to listen, truly. But there had to be a catch. Had to be a reason. Everyone she trusted had let her down. Had left.

  “You’re not buying me,” she repeated.

  “Of course not!” The woman almost looked offended. Almost, but not quite. Rather, she looked quite pleased with herself. “I am providing an opportunity not only to my great-granddaughter and my daughter, but also to the young woman who gave me that precious little girl. Honey, you’ve given Sessa and me far more than I can ever give you.”

  Listen.

  “Myrna will be furious.”

  Bonnie Sue laughed. “I doubt it. I’ve placed quite a large order with her shop. You see, my husband is celebrating his eightieth birthday next month, and I was in need of party decorations. I’ve decided to go with a beach theme.”

  “I see.”

  “Yes,” she said. “I think you do. Now let’s talk specifics. You will need some time to get things in order here. Will there be any problems with your landlord? I’d hate for you to be stuck with paying rent while you’re away, but I certainly can add that to the expenses.”

  Skye’s lease was month-to-month, and the duplex had come furnished. She’d never allowed herself to be obligated to stay anywhere a minute longer than she wanted. She was an expert at leaving. “It’s not a problem.”

  “Excellent.” She nodded toward the exit. “Then you can plan on moving in to your cottage in Sugar Pine on the first of September. That will give you some time to get settled before the party. And time to handle other things, of course.”

  Like signing the papers to give away Pansie. And buying an education for her.

  Listen.

  Skye gathered up her pictures and the envelope and followed, nodding a quick good-bye to Sandy.

  Bonnie Sue stopped in the parking lot to wrap Skye in a Chanel-No.-5-scented hug. When she released her, there were tears in her eyes. “Thank you, honey. You’ve given your daughter such a gift.”

  Skye managed a nod as she ducked into the passenger seat and endured the ride back to Myrna’s with her thoughts swirling and her stomach churning. Bonnie Sue parked the car at the curb and turned off the engine.

  “One more thing,” she said. “I have it on good authority that your car isn’t running.”

  “How did you know?”

  She shrugged. “Same way I knew how to find you. I’ve got a mechanic here in town who will take a look at it and—”

  “Absolutely not.” So Bonnie Sue’d had her followed? Skye paused to allow her temper to settle. “I’ve got a little money saved. I’ll have it fixed.”

  Pansie’s great-grandmother seemed ready to argue, then must have thought better of it. “All right. I’ll see you September first.” She started the car as Skye climbed out and closed the door.

  “Autumn,” she called as she rolled the window down. “One more question. Do you like to read?”

  “I love to read.” She shook her head. “Why?”

  “Well, we have this little book club up in Sugar Pine, the Pies, Books & Jesus Book Club. We call it the PB&J. Isn’t that the cutest thing?”

  “Sure,” Skye said slowly.

  “The September meeting is at my house. I’d like you to attend, and before you say no, I think it’s the best way for you to get reacquainted with our friends in a place where they’ll all love and accept you.”

  “Do you really think that’s true? I’m the girl who dumped her daughter on Mrs. Chambers’s doorstep.”

  “You’re the girl who gave my great-granddaughter the gift of a family and my grieving daughter the gift of a child to love.” She shrugged. “Besides, they’re all terrified of me. They’ll like you because I tell them to. Oh, and there’s pie. Two kinds to choose from every month. Now you’ll have to catch up on the reading, and the book’s long. Second in the series.”

  Skye could see there was no way to tell this woman no. And besides, the idea that a group of women were afraid of the person who liked her held a certain appeal. “Sure, I’ll go,” she said. “I read fast. What’s the title?”

  “Well, it’s the second book in the series, as I said. Stories about rugged men in kilts. And history, of course, because we don’t just read fluff.”

  “Of course not.” She stifled a grin at the thought that a bunch of ladies who gathered to eat pie and talk about men in kilts could be serious in any way.

  “Oh! It was written by that gal who writes those Bad Girls of the Bible books. I just love those.”

  “Would that be the Thorn in My Heart series?”

  Her eyes widened. “So you’ve heard of it.”

  Skye had read every book in the series twice and had just started over with the first book last week. “I have.”

  “Oh good, then try and read the second one before the first of the month. And honey?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  Bonnie Sue rolled up the window and drove away before Skye could respond. “Thank You,” she whispered as she looked up beyond the clouds gathering overhead, “for listening.”

  She turned toward the gift shop only to stop short. Her bike! While God had obviously provided a response to her question in the form of a handsome surfer, it had come at the expense of her only form of transportation.

  Crumpled as it had to be, she couldn’t leave it leaning against the back of the gift shop. Myrna would surely toss it in the dumpster. She rounded the corner and there it was. Her bike. Fixed.

  Attached to the handlebars was a note: Dinner tomorrow night? Beneath the words was a phone number.

  Skye looked around and saw no one but disinterested tourists milling around the boardwalk. There was only one person who could have done this, a blond surfer-turned-hero.

  The boy next door.

  Chapter Four

  August meeting of the Pies, Books & Jesus Book C
lub

  Location: Sessa Lee Dalton’s ranch house in Sugar Pine, Texas

  Pies: two apple and two chocolate pecan, baked by four-year-old Pansie Chambers and her grandpa, Trey Dalton

  Book title: THORN IN MY HEART by Liz Curtis Higgs

  “Ifound Skye.”

  Bonnie Sue Easley put the last of the apple pie slices on a plate and then stared down her daughter. Whatever happened, this was just one more skirmish in a battle that had begun in the cradle and still continued more than forty years later.

  Much as she felt for her, this day had to come. It was time.

  She’d expected Sessa to fuss some, but that was natural. When a woman played mama for as long as she had, it was easy to forget she was the grandmother. Unfortunately, the state of Texas hadn’t forgotten, and now they were all in a pickle.

  Sessa turned her back to stare out the window over the sink. “I wish you’d warned me.”

  “Our conversation was warning enough, Sessa Lee Dalton. We agreed that you and I have been dodging Pansie’s questions about her mama for far too long. She’ll be here September first, and I’ll have her staying out at one of the cottages.”

  “It seems like there ought to have been another way.”

  “You and I both know there’s not.”

  “Do we really?”

  Several responses occurred to her, but Bonnie Sue remained silent. She joined Sessa and looked out toward the pasture where Sessa’s four-year-old granddaughter was perched atop one of her Grandpa Dalton’s Arabian horses.

  Trey Dalton, Sessa’s husband of nearly two years, seemed to be deep in conversation with the fair-haired little girl. Like two peas in a pod, those two.

  Anyone who didn’t know would think that Trey had raised that girl from birth, same as Sessa. Anyone but that busybody social worker, that is.

  How she’d gotten wind of the arrangement that suited everyone just fine was beyond Bonnie Sue’s understanding. However, the Lord had allowed it, and now it was up to Him to fix it.

  All Bonnie Sue planned to do was help a little.

  Bonnie Sue leaned closer until their shoulders touched. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a tear roll down Sessa’s cheek. “We’ll get through this.”