The Love Potion (Werewolf High Book 5)

by Anita Oh

  “Will you be okay to get up to your room?” he asked me once we were outside the house.

  I shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

  Sam nodded but didn’t move to walk away. He took a deep breath as if preparing for something.

  “I don’t want it to be weird between us,” he said in a rush. “Or awkward or anything. I mean, because Tennyson… and you… and me… and… everything…”

  He stared down at his feet.

  “Things are always weird and awkward with Tennyson,” I said. “But we’re good, yeah?”

  I cuffed him on the arm weakly.

  “Yeah, we’re good.” He nodded. “It’s all good.”

  “You know you’re being weird and awkward, right?”

  I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

  “Go on,” I told him. “I’ll be fine. I’ll talk to you later.”

  He nodded and turned to leave.

  I wasn’t really sure I could make it up to my room alone, but it was easier to try than to face all the weirdness of Sam coming into the Red House. People gossiped enough without something like that to fuel it. I made my way by leaning heavily on the wall. A couple of people gave me funny looks, and one guy made rock ’n’ roll devil horn hands at me, obviously thinking I was drunk.

  Finally, I got to my room and stumbled through the door.

  Katie was studying with headphones on. She glanced over at me, but I gave her a thumbs-up to show I was okay. She nodded, then went back to her work.

  I collapsed on my bed, thinking I’d quickly fall asleep, but my mind was racing. I couldn’t stop going over everything Althea had said about the test results. She’d said the potion might react differently from normal, but I didn’t really know what normal was with that sort of thing. I’d been cursed a couple of times, but I knew nothing about potions at all. I sighed, rolled over to the edge of my bed, and felt underneath for a couple of the more useful books on witchcraft I’d been able to get my hands on.

  Potions, apparently, didn’t need to be brewed using witchcraft. Anyone could cook up a potion. It was just a matter of having the right ingredients and knowing what you were doing, like baking a cake. That was bad. That meant it could be anyone. They didn’t even necessarily need to believe in the whole supernatural world; they could’ve just had a crush on Tennyson and come across some information and figured it was worth a try. I mean, when you wish on a shooting star, you don’t necessarily believe it will come true, let alone that there’s an entire world full of supernatural creatures and magic and terrifying things just out of your sight. But you still do it, because the shooting star is there, so why not.

  There were a lot of different types of love potions. Love potions to make someone love you, to stop them loving you, to make someone else love someone else, lust potions, friendship potions, potions to make you seem more attractive in general. The most common type needed to include the DNA of one or both people involved in the spell. That was a little bit reassuring, at least — whoever had made the spell was definitely not targeting me. Nobody could’ve predicted that I’d not only stop Tennyson drinking the potion, but that I’d spill it on myself instead of drinking it.

  I pulled out my phone to message Althea.

  “Did the potion contain Tennyson’s hair or anything?” I asked her.

  There was a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I needed to know for sure. After the potion had spilled on me, Tennyson had been the only thing I could think of. Even without the bond, my mind was full of him. My heart pounded when he was in the same room, and my eyes were drawn to him.

  When I’d first become aware of the bond between us, I’d hated it. I’d have done anything to be rid of it. It made me feel as if my mind was being violated. But now it felt like a violation for it to be taken away. I’d not only become used to it, I relied on it. Having Tennyson always there, feeling him in the same way as I felt my arm or my little toe — it was comforting. Even when I was annoyed with him or frustrated, it still was reassuring to have that link to him. I’d been betrayed by so many people, by my father, by friends, but because of our bond, I knew that I would always, always be able to trust Tennyson. Whether I liked him or was angry at him or thought he was a jerk — all of those things were irrelevant. They were secondary things, changeable. But our bond was immutable.

  And now it was gone. It had been severed, and I was alone. Of course, I knew I could still trust Tennyson, but taking something on faith isn’t the same as having the proof constantly in front of you.

  Having the bond gone was bad enough. Having it replaced with these fake love feelings felt like an insult. There was no way I was going to turn into one of those Tennyson fangirls, following him around and sighing every time his eyes caught the light. I refused. I would fight those feelings to the death, if that was what it took.

  Chapter 9

  I wanted to avoid Tennyson, but we still had classes together, and I couldn’t afford to skip. I felt strong enough the next day to go, so I had no excuse to stay in bed with my head under the covers, no matter how appealing the idea seemed. I’d just act normal. I could totally do that. Act normal and maybe not make eye contact.

  I had math class first up, and he wasn’t in that anyway, so that was safe. As the day went on, I began to feel stronger and stronger. The potion was obviously working its way out of my system. Maybe I had nothing to worry about. Maybe those feelings would be gone soon. That seemed contrary to everything I’d read — that depending on the potion, some of them never faded. Others you could end with a kiss; some with other things I didn’t want to think about. Like marriage. Fading away quickly was definitely the best option on the table.

  Althea replied to my message a bit before lunchtime, saying that there had been a small trace of Tennyson’s DNA in the potion but that the test was inconclusive because she’d collected the sample from his cup. I wandered to lunch, thinking about what that meant. If there had been no DNA belonging to anyone in the potion, that made it a totally different type than if there had been Tennyson’s, and different again than if it had been Tennyson’s plus the person who’d made the potion. I wanted to consult the book I’d been reading again, but I’d left it in my room — I couldn’t exactly sit in the middle of the dining hall reading an ancient text on witchcraft without raising a few questions.

  I was so caught up in my thoughts, I almost barreled into someone who was blocking my path.

  “Oh,” I said, looking up into Tennyson’s face.

  I quickly looked away. I definitely hadn’t noticed how full his bottom lip looked, or how his skin seemed smooth like marble. That kind of thing made no difference to me, because I didn’t see Tennyson like that. I was so used to him being in my head, I rarely noticed how he looked, but even objectively, he was very good-looking. It didn’t need to be a big deal. There were a lot of good-looking people in the world. I mean, Tennyson was probably in the top one percent of the good-looking people in the world, but even that didn’t mean anything. What use was being good-looking? It didn’t make him a better person. He wasn’t any happier than an ordinary-looking person. The only thing it meant was that he had a bunch of crazy fans following him around, being mean to any female who spoke to him and wasn’t his immediate family.

  “You seem a little stronger today,” he said, not looking at me.

  I nodded. “I feel a bit better.”

  “Good,” he said.

  I figured that was the end of our conversation and tried to move past him, but he stepped into my path again.

  “I need to talk to you,” he said. “Privately.”

  “Well, you can’t,” I told him. “We can’t do that anymore, and I need to get to lunch.”

  I tried to dodge around him, but he was too fast for me. He reached out as if to grab my arm but then hesitated. I folded my arms across my chest and let out a huff.

  “It’s fine,” I told him. “I’m not going to suddenly start writing sonnets about your aquiline nose if you stand too close
to me or something.”

  He was standing awfully close to me, though, and he probably didn’t even need superhearing to tell how my heart was thumping.

  “I’m not going to argue with you in the hallway,” he said. “Follow me.”

  I rolled my eyes at his back as he turned and walked away, but it was unsatisfying, because he didn’t know I was doing it. I followed him down the path to the garden with the topiary animals, which seemed to be his favorite.

  “What’s up?” I asked, standing at the edge of the garden, tapping my foot.

  “You need to be rational about this situation,” he told me, pacing the strip between the elephant and the ostrich. “I know it isn’t ideal, but you need to prioritize your training. Now more than ever, control is important. Your tendency to go off half-cocked has landed you in more than enough trouble already, and with —”

  “Whoah, whoah, whoah,” I said, raising my hands to stop him. “Just back up a bit there, buddy. My going off half-cocked? Sorry, who was it who warned you repeatedly that something like this would happen? That someone was trying to poison you? And who was it who completely ignored those warnings, in fact mocked those warnings and went around drinking poisoned cups of tea willy-nilly?”

  “I wasn’t poisoned,” he said.

  “So, I should’ve just let you drink it, then?” I asked him.

  “Maybe you should’ve,” he said.

  “You are impossible to have a conversation with,” I told him, turning to leave.

  “Lucy!” he yelled.

  I stopped and stared at him. For a moment, it had felt as if he’d spoken in my head, but my ears were still ringing.

  As we stared at each other, my heart ached. It felt so empty. He was only on the other side of the garden, but he felt so very far away. Nothing I did or said would reach him.

  I turned and walked away.

  After that, I couldn’t stomach lunch. I wandered around the gardens until it was time for class, thinking about Tennyson. Maybe I shouldn’t have left him there. His eyes had seemed sad. Maybe I should’ve listened to him more. Obviously, the potion was making me crazy, because listening to Tennyson never ended well. Still, by the time I got to history class, I felt bad and a little bit like I probably should’ve eaten, even if I didn’t feel like it. Food was my friend. Food had never once let me down. I shouldn’t turn my back on food when food had never turned its back on me.

  That much was blatantly obvious about an hour later when I started feeling super light-headed. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I could barely sit upright in my chair. Usually, I kept a protein bar or something in my bag, because you never knew when a food emergency might pop up in this world, but I hadn’t restocked since the last time I’d been studying late in the library. All I had to do was make it through class, then I could go and get something. I’d be fine.

  I tried with all my might to focus on what the teacher was saying, to use that to keep me anchored in the real world, but the words sounded meaningless. Then I remembered what Nikolai had said when I’d lost control in fencing club, about relying on the pack. Losing my bond with Tennyson didn’t mean that the pack bond didn’t work. The pack bond was different from my soul bond with Tennyson, in that I had to actively reach for it, to make myself aware. Blocking the pack bond was the first thing I’d mastered about lycanthropy. Well, the only thing. I’d found it easier than the other stuff because it had been secondary to my bond with Tennyson, but even with that gone, the pack bond was something I could call up at my own will. I couldn’t speak to them or let them know the specifics, but I could get out the message that I wasn’t okay.

  The effort of doing that made my head swim. The room seemed to go dim, and the next thing I knew, I was hitting the floor. That was fine. The floor was comfy. I’d just lie there for a second, maybe have a short nap.

  I wasn’t sure how long I lay there, or if the rest of the class had reacted to me falling out of my chair, or anything, really. I could feel the hard wooden floor beneath me and a heavy sort of lethargy in my bones, but there was nothing else. Nothing mattered. Everything was fine.

  Then, all of a sudden, the world rushed back. It was bright and full of color. Someone was hovering over me, their hand on my arm. Their hand was warm, and I somehow knew that this person was The One. He was the person I’d been waiting for my whole life. It was as if a circle had been closed and the last piece of a puzzle had snapped into place. Everything seemed somehow right. The whole world made sense, just as long as this person was close by. This person was my equal in every way. They understood me on a fundamental level. This person was how I understood happiness.

  I blinked, reaching out for them. But when they came into focus, it was not who I had expected.

  “Are you all right?” asked Nikolai, pulling me to my feet. “You look like you might puke.”

  Chapter 10

  “I’ll try anything,” I told Althea, pacing the floor of the Golden common room. “Even if it’s dangerous. If there’s the slightest chance it will reverse this, I’ll try it.”

  I sat down on the sofa beside Nikolai, not looking at him. It seemed that as long as he was close by, I felt okay. I could not live like that.

  “Aw, honey,” said Nikolai, patting my hand.

  His hand was warm and felt nice against my skin. I automatically turned over my hand to tangle our fingers together, but as soon as I realized what I was doing, I pulled my hand away and tucked it safely into my armpit.

  Tennyson was at polo practice and Sam was off meditating or something, so it was just the three of us there. I wondered how hard it would be to keep this a secret from them.

  “There are a few simple things we can try to start with,” said Althea. “They probably won’t work, so don’t get your hopes up, but at least it should help us narrow down what type of potion it is.” She sighed. “It’s strange that it reacted how it did. That complicates things somewhat. I’m guessing that when Nikolai tried to help you, he touched the part of your arm where the potion had spilled.”

  Nikolai elbowed me. “You weren’t trying to rip out my lungs. You were trying to steal my heart! Aw, such a romantic.”

  I tried to make some snappy reply, but really, Nikolai was pretty funny. And cute when he scrunched his nose up like that.

  I slapped a hand over my eyes, horrified at myself. What was I thinking?

  “I’m also guessing that maybe the adverse physical reaction has to do with how the potion’s affect is contrary to your natural feelings,” Althea continued.

  Nikolai shook his head. “The heart wants what the heart wants, baby. Don’t try to find it.”

  “Just stab me,” I said. “Someone please just stab me in the face and put an end to this.”

  “We’re also pretty limited in what we can do here, since none of us have magic, but try this for a start.” She handed me a test tube full of a thick brown liquid.

  Whatever was in it could not possibly be as gross as feeling these things for Nikolai, so I closed my eyes and drank it down.

  “Um,” said Althea, staring at me. “Obviously not that one, then.”

  “What?” I asked.

  Nikolai was too busy laughing to reply, and I felt a warm glow that something I had done could make him so happy.

  “Nothing,” said Althea, sounding strangled. “But maybe don’t look in a mirror for an hour or two.”

  She went back to her desk and sorted through a few other jars and things.

  “Eat this,” she told me. “It’ll be chewy, and it’s probably best not to look at it first.”

  I chewed on the thing she handed me, which burst out with a bitter warm liquid that I tried not to think about.

  “I don’t feel any different,” I said.

  “What did she say?” asked Nikolai.

  Althea tilted her head to the side, staring at me.

  “You guys can’t understand me?” I asked.

  “I think she’s speaking backwards,” Althea said. “
I’ve got something to help that, though.”

  I ate and drank everything Althea gave me, but nothing stopped the warm and fuzzy feeling from having Nikolai sitting close by me. It was sickening.

  “What are you guys doing?” Sam asked as he came in. He sat down at the opposite end of the sofa from Nikolai and me.

  I couldn’t look him in the eye.

  “And why do you have scales? Are you turning into a lizard?”

  “We’re trying to find an antidote to the potion,” said Althea. “It had some adverse effects.”

  Sam raised his eyebrows, but I couldn’t answer him. Literally. After I’d stopped talking backwards, I was only capable of letting out high-pitched squeaks. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing now.

  “Sorry, Sam,” said Nikolai. “I know you crazy kids were trying to make a go of it, but our feelings are too strong to be denied.”

  I buried my head in my hands.

  “You haven’t tried kissing me yet,” Nikolai said. “You know that I’m an actual handsome prince, right?”

  “What’s going on here?” said a cold voice from the doorway.

  I pulled my blazer over my head, since my hands weren’t large enough to hide all this from Tennyson. What had I been thinking earlier, when I was talking to him? What had I actually said? I’d been confused, thinking that I had feelings I didn’t actually have. The potion had messed up my brain, making me think I was in love with Tennyson. I hadn’t known what I was saying. I went back over the conversation in my head, but I couldn’t remember saying anything to him that I regretted. I risked a look outside my blazer.

  Tennyson was standing at Althea’s desk with his back to me. He seemed so cold. It was strange, and I wondered when I’d stopped thinking of him like that. He always tried to seem so aloof, but I knew inside that he wasn’t like that at all. Inside, he was burning up. He wanted to protect everyone. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to be the absolute best that he could be. And our bond had gotten all tangled up with that. I knew that was why he acted like he did, why he pushed so hard and acted like a jerk. In his own way, it was how he showed that he cared. And he was harder on me because he was closer to me than the others, because we could see past what was on the outside, even past the pack bond.