by Leigh Bale
Andie whirled about and went after her son. She doubted he’d go far, but he was young enough that she didn’t want him walking or crossing a street alone. What he said was right. So far, Matt had appeared completely repentant. In fact, she felt awful for not calling to tell him they’d had a child. They both had done things wrong. They both needed forgiveness. But now, they were trying to make things easier on Davie, and Andie wouldn’t hurt her son by bad-mouthing his father.
“Davie!” She pounded down the steps calling for him, but he didn’t answer. Where had he gone?
She rounded the house, searching in the bushes and trees, some of his favorite hiding places.
Brett came out the back door, wearing a man’s apron over his white shirt and tie. “Did you find him?”
She shook her head.
“I’ll help you look.” He came down the steps and skirted the yard.
“Davie! Davie, where are you?” Andie headed toward the swing set in the backyard while Brett searched the garage.
They met again in the front yard.
“No sign of him?” Andie asked.
“No, maybe he slipped back inside the house.”
“I’ll check with the neighbors while you check inside.” Andie ran across the grass, her high heels sinking into the soft sod.
Within five minutes, she was back at Sue’s house and Davie still hadn’t been found. “Where would he have gone? He was so upset.”
Sue sat in the rocking chair, giving a bottle to Rose. A worried frown crinkled her brow. “I’m so sorry, Andie. I—I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”
Brett reached for his car keys. “Does he know where Matt lives?”
Andie shook her head, her skin prickling with frenzy. “No, we’ve never been there before. He’s too little to be traipsing around town looking for his father.”
Brett looked at Sue. “Honey, can you stay here in case he returns?”
“Of course. I’m so sorry.” Her eyes filled with remorse.
Brett leaned down and kissed her, giving her a kind smile. “We know you are. Don’t worry. Come on, Andie. You got your cell phone on?”
She nodded.
“Good. I’ll take my car and you take yours. Together, we can comb more area. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Brett held the door open for Andie.
They left, each getting into their vehicles and driving in opposite directions. Andie wrapped her fingers tightly around the steering wheel, her heart beating madly as she peered out the windshield. She hadn’t realized how loyal Davie was to his father until now. Whether she was still angry at Matt or not, she must remember that Davie loved his dad and had forgiven him.
If only she could forgive Matt as easily.
After twenty minutes, Andie dialed Brett’s cell phone. He’d just spoken to Sue, but none of them had seen Davie yet. And that’s when Andie called Matt. It was a last resort before she called the police.
“Hello.” His deep voice helped soothe her nerves.
“Um, hi, Matt. It’s Andie.”
“Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”
Andie almost groaned, wishing she didn’t need to make this call. “I was just wondering if…if you’ve seen Davie in the past few minutes.”
“Davie? No, I haven’t seen him since I left you at church. Why?”
“He…he got upset at something his aunt said, and he ran off.”
A long pause ensued. “Something she said about me?”
How did he know that? She didn’t have the heart to deny it. “She hurt Davie’s feelings.”
Another pause. “Where have you looked for him?” His voice sounded completely calm, just like a crew leader would sound when he’s figuring out a problem and the best way to resolve it.
She explained what she and Brett had done to find Davie.
“Davie’s never been to my place before, so I doubt he knows where I live. Have you checked your house? He might have gone home.”
“I’ll check there next,” she said.
“Will you call me as soon as you get there? If he’s not home, I’ll get in my truck and start searching, too.”
“Yes.” She hung up and put on her left blinker before turning the car around.
It took six minutes to get there. Tears filled her eyes when she saw her son sitting on the front steps, his elbows resting on his knees while he cupped his chin with his palms. He stared at the ground, looking so forlorn in his set of black dress slacks, sweater vest, white shirt and tie.
She got out of her car and walked to him, forcing herself not to run and scare him off again.
“Hey, hotshot. What are you doing sitting here all alone?” She sat next to him in her dress, trying to sound casual. Trying to keep the tears of relief from bursting forth.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Just thinking.”
“You must have been real upset to have taken off like that, but don’t do it again. You worried me. Next time just wait in our car, so I know you’re all right.”
“Okay.” He still wouldn’t look at her, his cheeks plumped up as he squashed his chin against his palms.
“You know Aunt Sue sometimes says things she doesn’t mean, right?”
His head popped up, and his eyes narrowed angrily. “Well, she shouldn’t say bad things about my dad.”
“You’re right, and I told her so. I don’t think she’ll do it again.”
“What if she hurts Dad’s feelings and he leaves again? I don’t want him to go away. I want him to stay here forever.”
Ah, now she understood. For several years, he’d been asking about his dad. Where he lived, what he did, why he didn’t come home. Now that Matt was here, Davie didn’t want to lose him again. Andie couldn’t blame her son. A part of her wanted Matt to stay, too. She didn’t want him to leave or to hurt him the way he’d hurt her. And yet, she couldn’t seem to forgive him, either.
“So you ran away because you’re afraid your dad might leave you?”
Davie nodded and she pulled him close against her side, holding his hand. “Your daddy would never leave you because of something Aunt Sue said. He loves you too much.”
How she hoped what she said was true. How could she tell her young son that she feared the same thing? That she didn’t dare open her heart and forgive Matt for his past transgressions because she feared he might leave her again? Matt had asked for her forgiveness, but he hadn’t said he loved her. And she didn’t want him to return out of guilt.
“Why don’t you like Daddy anymore?” Davie asked.
Her breath hitched in her throat, and she had to swallow. “I like Dad just fine.”
“But you don’t love him.”
“I—I’m not sure how I feel about him anymore. He’s only been back a couple of months. We need to get to know each other again.” Okay, honesty was good here.
“Then why didn’t you let him come to Sunday dinner with us? Then we could get to know him better. He’s all alone without us. He’s probably hungry, too.”
Andie swallowed a laugh. Davie’s reasoning touched her heart. She’d tried to give Matt opportunity to be with Davie, but she also needed to give herself—and Sue—time to adjust to him being back in their lives.
She tried to explain to her son. “You know we were invited to dinner at Aunt Sue’s house, right?”
“Yeah, we always have Sunday dinner at our place or Aunt Sue’s. But I want Dad to come, too.”
“I know, but it’s bad manners for me to just invite your dad without permission from Aunt Sue.”
“How come? Dad’s part of our family. Uncle Brett said so.”
She took a deep breath. “Well, Dad is part of our family, and he isn’t part of our family.”
“What do you mean? I heard you say you’re still married to him. And he’s my daddy. So that means we’re his family. If we don’t forgive him, who will?”
She stared, her breath leaving her in a long whoosh. Children saw things so sim
ply. In the Bible, the book of Matthew talked about becoming humble like a little child. Andie felt very small at that moment. According to the book of John, the Lord had given all men a new commandment to love one another. And when an adulterous woman was brought before the Lord, He asked those without sin to cast a stone at her. No one did.
Andie knew God forgave those whom He would forgive, but all men were required to forgive everyone. She had no right to withhold her forgiveness from Matt. And yet, she didn’t know how to soften her heart enough to forgive him. He wasn’t the only one who needed forgiveness from the Lord. Andie needed to let go of the anger and hate she’d held so closely in her heart. But how could she let it go? How could she gain enough faith to completely hand her life over to God? She longed to be able to do so, yet she didn’t feel strong and courageous enough to trust the Lord that much.
“Technically you’re right,” she told Davie. “But your Dad’s been gone so long that it’s taking a bit of time for me and Aunt Sue to adjust.”
“But Aunt Sue never liked Daddy. She thinks he cheated on you. When he called you, she erased his messages. I heard her say so to Uncle Brett.”
Andie inhaled quickly, her stomach churning. “When did you hear her say that?”
“Last week, after she picked me up from kindergarten. What does it mean to cheat on you?”
Oh, Susan Marie Osborn! Andie couldn’t believe her sister would speak her mind so freely when she knew Davie might overhear. Now it all made sense. Matt had said he’d tried to call her at home after he’d left, but Andie had never gotten any messages. Because Susan had erased them.
“Um, cheating means that your father would love another woman when he’s married and promised to love only me.”
Davie’s mouth rounded. “Daddy wouldn’t cheat on you, Mom. He loves us. I know he does.”
“Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of it, okay?” If she and Matt still loved each other, maybe she could forgive him and they could be a real family again.
Wishful thinking. They were a long way away from that happening.
A truck pulled up in front of the house, and Matt stepped out with the aid of his cane. “Looks like you found him.”
“Daddy!” Davie ran to his father and threw his arms around Matt’s legs.
Matt tottered, almost losing his balance. “Hey, easy there, hotshot. What’s going on?”
Together they walked to the porch, and he met Andie’s gaze as she stood to meet them. Matt bent over and picked Davie up in his free arm, using his cane to shuffle over to the porch swing. As he walked, he listened to Davie pour his big, aching heart out about what had happened. Andie hated for Matt to know how Sue had hurt Davie’s feelings, but there was no help for it. If Andie tried to hush Davie, the boy might think she agreed with her sister. And she did, to a certain point. She didn’t want to get back together with Matt, but she didn’t want Sue to bad-mouth her husband, either. After all, Matt had a lot of good qualities. He wasn’t an ogre. He was a good man who had gotten a few priorities out of whack.
“You won’t leave again, will you, Dad?” Davie sniffed and wiped his nose on his shirtsleeve.
Matt hugged the boy close and kissed his hair. “No, I’ll never leave you again. Not ever.”
Davie peered at his mom, a triumphant look in his eyes. “See, Mom. I told ya.”
She smiled, wanting so much to believe what Matt said. “Yes, you did tell me that.”
Matt had called her. He’d left her messages she’d never received. Andie had misjudged him. She couldn’t believe it. Part of her wanted to berate Sue for hiding this information for so long. Another part of her wanted to just let it all go. None of it mattered anymore.
Brett pulled into the driveway and jumped out, looking relieved. He jerked his apron off before sauntering up the front walkway. “Well, it looks like we’ve got almost everyone here. Maybe we should have Sunday dinner at your house today.”
“Hi, Uncle Brett. What are you doing here?” Davie asked.
“Looking for you, champ. Aunt Sue feels real bad for hurting your feelings. We were all mighty worried when you ran off like that.”
“Sorry.” The boy sat up straight and slid off his dad’s lap.
“He won’t do it again, will you, son?” Matt smiled, a look of pure love filling his eyes.
Andie looked away. Whether she liked it or not, her two boys loved each other. Very much. She’d have to make room for Matt in her life, even if they didn’t get back together again.
Brett stood before them, the apron crumpled in his fist. “Tell you what. Why don’t we all go back to my house and enjoy our Sunday dinner? We’ve had enough drama for one day.”
Matt frowned and so did Davie.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I don’t think I’m welcome there,” Matt said.
“Of course you are. I just talked to Sue on the cell, and she said I wasn’t to come home without you. So come on. She feels bad enough. Let’s do what families should do and forgive one another, okay?”
Andie froze. Brett had always been so easygoing. A peace-maker who lived to make Sue happy. But his sense of justice had forced him to challenge Sue on this issue. He spoke of forgiving one another. That’s what families did, right? And that’s what it came down to for Andie. Forgiveness.
If she couldn’t forgive Matt, where did that leave her with the Lord?
Davie looked at Matt. “I’ll go back if you will.”
A hysterical laugh bubbled up in Andie’s throat. She could definitely force Davie to go to Sue’s house or go to his room. But she didn’t want to lose her son’s love. And right now, she realized he was so relieved to have his father back in his life that he might defy her if she refused. She wanted to make her son happy, but that wasn’t a reason to invite Matt back into their marriage. She had to be certain they loved each other and wouldn’t hurt each other again.
And that brought Andie’s brain to a standstill. How could they go through the many years ahead without ever being thoughtless? Without saying some insensitive remark or doing something that hurt the other person’s feelings? They couldn’t. Marriage was a process. It wasn’t perfect, and it took daily, hard work to maintain. No guarantees. That’s how families worked. But if they loved each other—really loved each other—they could continue to forgive each other over and over again. They could be happy. Right?
“That’s a good idea, son. It’s the Sabbath and we should be happy today.” Andie reached out and took Davie’s hand.
Davie followed her to the car, as if everything was settled. But Matt hung back, an expression of doubt creasing his eyes.
“Come on. You’re with me.” Brett clapped Matt on the shoulder.
Matt followed, but he didn’t look happy about it. They all piled into Brett’s car, and no one spoke during the ride back to Sue’s house. Inside, Sue avoided Matt and said very little, but she did quietly apologize to Davie in the kitchen.
The boy kissed Sue on the cheek and ran off to play with little Rose. Watching him go, Andie couldn’t help but think how much Davie was like his father. Matt had never been one to hold a grudge, either. In the early years of their marriage, she’d envied him this quality. Now she wasn’t so sure.
Dinner was a subdued affair. Brett did most of the talking.
“How long have you been fighting fire?” Brett asked.
“More than ten years.” Matt took a bite of tender roast beef, looking at his plate. He seemed reticent to talk about his fire days.
“Me, too. But I suppose our training is a bit different, since I mostly fight building fires. There’ve been a few times when the Forest Service called on the city for help fighting a big wildfire.”
“We may call on you again sometime. I’m the FCO and trying to coordinate our efforts in case we ever need city help.”
Brett nodded. “Give me a call next week and we can set up a meeting to talk. I’d be glad to help any way we can. Maybe we can have lunch.”
&nbs
p; “It’s a deal.” Matt smiled.
The two men seemed to get along well, monopolizing the discussion as they talked about work and baseball. Andie noticed Sue occupied herself with feeding the baby and serving everyone else.
When dinner ended, Andie helped clean up the kitchen while the men and Davie disappeared into the family room to watch baseball on TV.
Andie handed the platter of meat to her sister while they cleared the table. “You seem awful quiet tonight, sis.”
Sue tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. “I don’t have a lot to say.”
“Not even about Matt’s phone calls you erased?”
The color drained from Sue’s face, her eyes filled with fear. She’d been caught. “Davie told you about that?”
Andie nodded. “Why did you do it, Sue? Matt called me. He cared. If I’d known, we might have gotten back together years ago. We could have talked things through.”
“I’m sorry, Andie. I—I could only see the bad in him. I thought you were better off without him.”
“And Davie? You thought he was better off without his father?”
“Yes—no—I don’t know. By then, it was too late.” Sue groaned and covered her face with her hands.
Andie hugged her sister. “It’s in the past. Let’s forget about it now. On one condition.”
Sue looked at her sister, her eyes filled with tears of remorse. “And what’s that?”
“That you never come between my husband and me again. Ever.”
“Agreed. I’ll never erase a message, throw away a note or prevent Matt from speaking with you again. I’m so sorry, Andie. For everything.”
“Then all is forgiven.”
Sue drew back, her eyes filled with sadness. “You can forgive me so easily?”
“Of course. You’re my sister. The only one I have.”
“But I drove Davie away. What I said hurt his feelings, and he could have been seriously injured when he walked home alone. Thank goodness we live in a small town and he got there safely.”
“Don’t worry about it anymore. We’re all safe and sound.”
“Are we, Andie? Are we really?”
“Of course.”
Sue jutted her chin toward the family room. “And what about Matt? I hate what he did to you. I was there when he left you. And when Davie was born. I remember how you cried. How he broke your heart. I don’t want to see him hurt you again. You can forgive me, but why can’t I forgive him?”