Anders: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” She raised her voice and looked angry for the first time that morning. “Enough with the pity party. You screwed up. We all do. You have to get over it.”

  I froze in the act of opening the door and turned around. Gwen’s cheeks were flushed, and her deep breathing was visibly moving her chest.

  “You don’t seem to make mistakes,” I muttered.

  She lifted her eyebrows. “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “Let me see. You’re the perfect pilot, have a perfect marriage, and go to the perfect job every day.”

  She snorted. “None of that is true.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Do you live my life, or do I?” She still looked upset, but apparently for a different reason. “How’s this for perfect? My husband left me for another woman three weeks before our first anniversary. I’m not married anymore.”

  Chapter Two

  GWEN

  I stepped into Anders’ personal space and got in his face, trying not to notice how good he smelled. “How’s that for a perfect marriage, Anders? Does that count as a mistake? I’ve never screwed up anything as badly as I messed up my marriage.”

  He stared at me. He had light brown hair that was always a little bit messy in a sexy sort of way. His blue eyes always stared at me with a zeal that made every cell in my body come to life. All the Madellan brothers ran to the intense side. I suppose it came from losing their mother at such a young age. His body was lean and muscled, with washboard abs and biceps to die for.

  Not that I had noticed or anything.

  “I knew there was something wrong.” His gorgeous blue eyes looked troubled. “What happened?”

  “Jake left me.” I felt humiliated to say it out loud and stared at the floor. All the feelings of loss came back to me in an instant.

  “Are you sure? He said he was going on leave and going back to Earth.” Anders looked bewildered. “I just had a beer with him a few weeks ago. He was going home to visit his sister, who just had a baby.”

  “That’s true.” I felt empty inside. “But he’s been seeing a woman from housekeeping.”

  “You mean cheating on you?” Anders interjected.

  It didn’t matter how you said it. Jake had broken our bond. “They went back to Earth together to get married. She’s pregnant with his baby.” I swallowed. “I signed the divorce papers this morning.”

  “I can’t believe it.”

  I nodded. I knew that my eyes were full of tears, but I refused to let them fall.

  Anders leaned back against the beautiful new starfighter that we would never get to fly together. His eyes were stormy, but there was another emotion behind the rage that I couldn’t name and wasn’t sure I wanted to.

  “Me neither. I should have known when all of sudden instead of wanting to fuck me twice a day, we went down to twice a week.”

  Anders looked uncomfortable whenever the topic of Jake and me having sex came up. I didn’t blame him, but I wasn’t going to censor myself. In any event, he would never have to hear me talk about fucking Jake again.

  “I guess so. But didn’t you think it was because you were settling into your marriage? You weren’t newlyweds anymore.”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought. It was stupid.”

  “I don’t think it’s stupid to trust your husband. That helps make the relationship healthy.” He glared furiously, but his anger wasn’t directed at me. “There’s no way to get around the fact that Jake was a jerk. I hope you don’t think I knew anything about it.” He held up his hands, palms out. “I wouldn’t keep something like that from you. The other thing is that if I knew, I would have kicked his ass.”

  I gave Anders a sad smile.

  “No one knew. They had their flight planned out for a long time. Jake told me and immediately left so he wouldn’t have to deal with any consequences. I thought he would have bragged about it to his friends, at least. I guess he didn’t want to see how you would react.”

  “Well, he was smart. He wouldn’t want to see my fist coming at his face.”

  I smiled again. Anders always knew how to make me feel better. “Well, I’m glad that we got on the roster for this scouting mission. I need something to take my mind off things. Now, at least I’m out of the apartment where everything reminds me of Jake.”

  “Hang on a second.” He held up his hand. “When did this happen?”

  I pressed my lips together, reluctant to answer. I had been hoping Anders wouldn’t ask about the timeline.

  “Two weeks ago.”

  “I thought this happened yesterday. You’ve been dealing with this for two weeks, and you didn’t tell me?”

  I sniffled, trying to keep control of myself. “I’m fine. I’m a big girl.”

  From the way he was looking at me, he didn’t think I was a big girl at all. “You should have told me.” I could see the pain in his eyes. “I would have been there for you.”

  “I know. I didn’t mean to keep it from you for this long. But I was a mess at first. It’s not the kind of thing you’re proud of, anyway.”

  “I remember you took a bunch of sick days.”

  I nodded. “We’ve been busy loading the supplies from Vandwa, and everyone’s had extra work since the fighters arrived.”

  “Those are just excuses. You didn’t want to tell me. Why? You just said I was your best friend.”

  I traced the sweet lines of the starship with my eyes. I wanted to avoid looking at Anders’ face. I knew I would see his hurt. “I feel like a failure,” I whispered, dropping my gaze to the toes of my work boots. “I messed up everything. What kind of wife is so terrible that her husband goes looking for someone else?”

  “Maybe you’re not thinking about this the right way. From my perspective, a bastard went looking for someone else when he had a commitment to his wife.” Anders looked furious.

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. You deserve a husband who worships the ground you walk on. You’re better off without Jake. I can’t believe he would do something like that to you.”

  “I know what you mean.” I remembered Jake’s easy smile and sweet promises. “I thought we would be together forever.”

  “If I were your husband, you’d certainly never have to worry about me cheating on you.”

  My heart sped up. Anders was speaking hypothetically, wasn’t he?

  “Of course. If you were my husband, we would have a bond. You couldn’t cheat, right?” I had to stop talking until I got my breathing under control. Anders was never going to bond with me. We were friends and nothing more.

  “The Auxem mate for life.” I tried to ignore the shot of heat that went to my core when he said the word mate. “We only fuck a single woman our entire lives.”

  It was hard to think about anything when he was looking at me so intensely. Sleeping with Anders was not part of my future.

  He turned and slapped the hull of the starship, breaking the tension between us. “How about we climb in and pretend I didn’t crash anything. We’re taking this sweet little bird out today instead of a clunky scout ship.”

  I shook my head.

  “Come on, Gwen. I’ve made mistakes, and you’ve made mistakes. What’s the harm in adding one more to the list?”

  “Well, that’s an interesting take on things.” I smiled. I didn’t care about anything considering the way I was feeling. “But if I lose my job, you have to give me your allowance for the week. That should set me up for life.”

  I was just joking, but he looked at me seriously. “You got it.”

  I sighed. “Okay, but no touching.” I meant the spacecraft, but he did a double-take. His eyes looked hot again. Maybe I just imagined it, but my body was reacting to the unintended double entendre.

  “No, of course not.” He tore his eyes away from me and climbed into the beautiful ship.

  Anders looked like nothing was unusual once we were inside admiring the sle
ek design and perfection of the cockpit. But he asked me something completely unrelated to spaceships.

  “We tested you to see if you carried the H4T7 gene, right?”

  He appeared to be studying the console in front of him. I noticed that his hands were balled into fists as if that were the only way he could keep himself from touching anything. I wanted to see what was in his eyes, but he wouldn’t look at me.

  “Yeah. They wouldn’t consider any woman for the crew who tested positive. People couldn’t interview if they were carriers. I never understood why. I didn’t sign up to breed.”

  He nodded. “It was just a precaution. Even if the initial purpose wasn’t to carry a baby...” He seemed reluctant to continue. “If a woman changed her mind, she could still get pregnant and have a girl.”

  “I see.” I didn’t see at all. Why was he telling me this? I had a general idea, but I ignored it, just like all the other times I pretended there were no signs he wanted to be more than friends. I was married.

  Technically, I supposed I was not married any longer. But still, Anders and I were best friends. I needed him now more than ever.

  Of course, I had other friends and acquaintances, co-workers and people I kept in touch with back home, but nobody understood me like Anders. He always made me feel better when I was down or brought me food when I forgot to eat. He’d helped me study for my intergalactic pilot’s license and always teased me about his royal family.

  I couldn’t do anything that might jeopardize our friendship.

  Our transport ship was enormous and carried the population of a small town. It was so big that it was easy to forget we were on a spaceship. If I didn’t know any better, I could have imagined I was on solid ground.

  So I got worried when we had an earthquake. The ship wasn’t supposed to shake or groan. In fact, there had never been any detectable movement while I was a passenger. The jarring movement and noise lasted only a second.

  “Anders? Did you feel that?”

  He looked like he had no idea what I meant. “Feel what?”

  “The long shudder. What do you think it was?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you think the engines are malfunctioning?” I was getting annoyed that he wasn’t taking me more seriously. “Maybe we crashed into something.”

  “Gwen, relax. It wasn’t that big of a bump.”

  Without warning, we were rocked back in our seats by the force of a second earthquake. We flew forward again onto the controls. I smashed my head against the console. I reached up to feel my forehead, and there was a big bump on it. I hoped I didn’t have a concussion.

  “Okay, that was a big one.” Anders started checking the computers to see if there had been any communications about possible flight problems. “Maybe you were right. Something weird is happening.”

  I felt around in one of my pockets where I knew I kept an Instacold pack that was good for swelling, found it, and pressed it to my forehead. I felt a lot better immediately. I had an entire first aid kit stashed in my pockets with anything we might need.

  The docking bay intercom started broadcasting. It was a strange voice speaking in Standard. “Attention all passengers. Your captain is indisposed at the moment, and I will be assuming his responsibilities. My name is Dercom Haldoan, and I am head of the Guild of Private Spacecraft Detention and Reassignment. You might know us as the Scarfaces.”

  “I don’t know who the Scarfaces are.”

  “He should have just said he was a pirate.” Anders’ voice sounded dark.

  “We will be detaining your ship temporarily until we can redistribute your cargo.”

  “They’re going to loot us and sell everything,” Anders translated.

  The pirate was still talking. “And since you have such a lovely manifest that will fetch a premium price at the slave markets, we may spare the men’s lives, if you cooperate.” His voice sounded menacing. “If not, we’ll sell all the women anyway, but every man on this ship will die.”

  My blood ran cold, and I put a hand to my mouth. I didn’t want to be a slave.

  Anders was looking up something on his computer. “Where are the life-form readings? Ah, here we go.”

  “What are you doing?” I leaned over to see the screen.

  “This is a representation of our ship. The blue dots are the passengers we have on record.”

  There were a few blue dots, but they were hard to see because red dots covered so much of the diagram we could barely make out the lines of the ship. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but what are the red dots?”

  “Those are the pirates.”

  “Well, shit.” I felt truly afraid for the first time in my life.

  The screen lit up with an incoming call. Anders answered it immediately. “Is this line encrypted?”

  Ayrie’s face displayed on the screen. “It is,” Anders’ older brother said. “You need to come to the panic room.”

  “Is everyone there already?”

  “Everyone who matters. Father’s here. Me and Elle. Arnon and his family are all safe. Allex and Avren are in the secret passages already. You need to get here. Is that Gwen with you? Go ahead and bring her too.”

  Anders didn’t respond.

  Ayrie’s voice sounded tense. “Didn’t you hear the announcement? Pirates have boarded the ship.”

  “I heard it. How could I not? Let me think for a minute.”

  “There’s no time to think.” Ayrie had a wild look on his face. “We can’t risk anything happening to...” He looked up and off the screen. “Avren’s here. We’re going to have to seal the door soon.”

  “Anders?” I put my hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “You should go now.”

  He looked up at me. “What did you say?”

  “It’s time for you to go. If you have a secure location, you should go there.” My heart was thumping, and I didn’t know what I should do myself. I wanted Anders to be out of harm’s way. If I knew he was okay, everything else would be easier to bear.

  “No way.” He shook his head emphatically. “I’ll show you where the secret passage is and you can follow it to the panic room. I’m not going.”

  “I hope you didn’t just say what I think you said.” Ayrie had a frown on his face.

  “What do you mean, Anders? I thought your family knew what to do in an emergency.” I didn’t have a clue what Anders was thinking.

  “Yes. But I have another plan.” There was determination in his voice and on his face.

  “Anders, the last thing we need is for you to have a plan.” Ayrie’s voice came from the screen.

  “I’m getting out of here.” Anders sounded confident. “I’ll bring back some help.”

  “What?” Ayrie rolled his eyes. “You’ll never make it out of here. They have a tractor beam. No one can get in or out.”

  Anders raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think I can’t get out if I want to?”

  Ayrie pursed his lips. “It’s a bad idea.”

  “You know what a tractor beam is, right? You’re not going anywhere.” I had no idea what Anders had in mind.

  He glanced at me. “Piloting isn’t the only thing I’m good at. I have other skills, too.”

  The look in his eyes made my pulse pound. What were we talking about, again? Then I had an idea. “You’re good with computers, aren’t you?”

  “You can learn a lot of things without having a degree.”

  Ayrie rolled his eyes. “I’ve known him his entire life. He has a degree in programming and technology. He got it when he was young because he was bored. He never did anything with it except hack into places he shouldn’t have access to.”

  “Is that how you took the fighter out for a spin? I always wondered how you did that.”

  Anders shrugged. “I can get out. You know I can, Ayrie. And I’ll come back. We’re not letting these bastards enslave our women. Forget about saving our people. It’s a matter of doing what’s right.”

 
; Ayrie didn’t look convinced.

  “Just give me a chance.” I heard a yearning in his voice to prove more than just a rich screwup. “I can do it.”

  Ayrie frowned, thinking. “If there’s a chance you can get out of here and bring back help, it might be worth the risk.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Anders sensed an opening and rushed through it. “I’ll send Gwen down the tunnels. You’ll make sure she’s safe, won’t you?”

  “Like hell you will.” I spoke up before Ayrie could respond.

  “What do you mean? Are you planning to be a pirate’s bride or something?”

  “Not exactly. I’m going with you.”

  “What?” Anders frowned. “No way. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Really? More dangerous than being stuck on a starship with a bunch of pirates who want to sell me to the highest bidder?” I looked at him like he was an idiot. “Tell me how you’re going to fly that thing by yourself, partner.” Anders could be rash at times, but I still liked him.

  “You have a good point.”

  “I guess this means Gwen’s not coming to the panic room.” Ayrie was grinning this time.

  “I suppose not.” Anders drew his eyebrows together.

  “Okay, I’ll tell Father. You better appreciate what I’m doing for you. We’re going to seal it, and you won’t be able to communicate with us.”

  Anders nodded. “Stay safe, Ayrie.”

  “You too, little brother. Take care, Gwen.”

  I nodded nervously. It was hard for me to speak a sentence when one of the princes addressed me directly. I heard someone speak from off screen, but I couldn’t make out the words.

  “Go ahead and do it.” Ayrie was talking to someone outside of our view. “Avren’s here, and we’re going to shut the door. Have a good flight, brother.”

  Anders nodded solemnly. The screen went dark, and we looked at each other.

  “Why can’t they get messages out once the door is sealed?” What a pointless panic room.