Anders: An Auxem Novel

by Lisa Lace

  I wasn’t particularly sober, but some things had been drilled into me since I was old enough to have wet dreams. Sex with an unbonded woman was dangerous. The specter of Bond Rejection Syndrome was always present. I pulled away immediately, and she groaned.

  “Come on, Anders. Stop doing this to me.”

  “We can’t.”

  “Please?” She begged me in a slightly tipsy way I had never heard when Gwen was completely sober. “You said we couldn’t have sex, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

  Technically, she was right, I supposed. “What if you regret it in the morning?” I wasn’t willing to go through any morning awkwardness with her.

  “Neither of us is going to remember anything tomorrow. I need you.”

  I knew I should try to resist her, but I didn’t have that much strength. I had never been able to turn her down before, and I wasn’t going to start now. I would worry about the consequences in the morning.

  My carefree attitude often got me into trouble, but at that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  GWEN

  If I remembered anything in the morning, I would probably be mortified about begging. I didn’t foresee any contrition about fucking Anders, but pleading wasn’t typically part of my behavior. For the moment, all I wanted was to feel his hands on my body. If that meant groveling, so be it.

  He seemed to be considering my proposal, and I decided he needed some extra encouragement. I grabbed his cock in my hand and smoothly stroked it. He groaned and bent down to kiss me again. I don’t know what would have happened if he refused me. All conscious thought departed my mind on waves of pleasure. Anders was as skilled as he had promised. He took the time to learn about my body before playing me like I was the sweetest instrument in the galaxy.

  After making out for a long time, until I was wet and yearning for more, he began to kiss my face slowly and moved down my neck, paying attention to the spots that made me gasp. He continued down my arm, pressing his hips into my elbow and the palm of my hand, making my thighs buck. He was finding erogenous zones I hadn’t known existed. I didn’t want him to stop.

  Soon he made his way to my breasts, kissing in concentric circles until he got to the tip of one. Once there, he gave a slow lick and blew on it. My nipple could not have hardened more. I was breathing erratically and getting turned on from his touches. He caressed the hard bud again before kissing it. I made a frustrated sound, and he finally gave me what I wanted, closing his hot mouth over the aching peak.

  “Keep going.” I was unable to stop myself.

  He was nipping gently and sucking, but I needed more. I arched my back up toward him. He rewarded me by sucking harder. I grabbed his head, threading my fingers through his hair to hold him precisely where I wanted him.

  Anders made his away across to my other breast and nipped at it, then licked away the sting. I was aching for him, but I knew I wouldn’t get that satisfaction. I tried to ignore how empty I felt and how much I wanted him inside me.

  “Anders, I need more.” He lifted his head, eyes dark with lust in the dim light from the bathroom. His hands slid down my body. I impatiently waited for him to touch me again. His hands glided over my belly and hip bones, continuing down to my thighs before sweeping back up my inner leg. He finally cupped my soft mound, and we both sighed.

  “I’ve always wanted to tell you how beautiful you are, Gwen.”

  I lifted my hips toward his hand. He didn’t deny me, sliding his finger between wet, slippery folds that ached for his touch. He gently rubbed my sex before lightly circling my swollen clit, making me moan and writhe. He was patient, never touching me too hard or wanting to rush. He pleasured me like we had all the time in the world together.

  I felt my orgasm beginning to rise when his other hand touched me, finding my opening.

  “Right there.” One finger slid inside me and rubbed against my G-spot. He added another finger and pumped in and out of me as his other hand rubbed my clit. I was breathing hard and close to the peak. He added a third finger, and I could feel myself stretching as he rubbed against the sweet spot inside my body.

  It was too much. I climaxed, crying out and arching my hips off the bed as he continued to pump his fingers into me and stimulate my clit. He kept the orgasm going until I thought I would lose my mind. Finally, he took his hands away, and I collapsed on the bed, panting in a haze of pleasure.

  I heard him leave to wash his hands in the bathroom. When he came back, he gathered me into his arms and pulled me close. I lay still for a while enjoying the bliss. Then he shifted, and I felt his rock-hard cock pushing against my ass.

  I wanted to make him feel good too.

  I got up and slid down his body. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he had given me.

  “Gwen?” He stared at me intensely as I positioned myself over him.

  I didn’t say anything, only licked the tip of his cock. He let his head flop back as he inhaled deeply. He was going to come hard, and I was going to enjoy it.

  I took him into my mouth, sucking the tip and loving the smooth, hot feel of a dick. He was a good size. I couldn’t take all of him, but I swallowed as much as I could, playing with his balls and sucking as I plunged up and down.

  It didn’t take long before he grabbed my head and held me still. He gave a few quick thrusts before exploding in my mouth. I didn’t leave a single drop.

  We curled up after that and went back to sleep.

  Chapter Six

  ANDERS

  I woke in the early morning hours to feel Gwen moving against my erection. I wasn’t inside her, exactly. She had me pinned between her folds and was sliding her hot wetness up and down my cock.

  I bent my head to her breasts, knowing she was already close. She gasped when I closed my lips around her nipple as I massaged her other breast with my hand.

  “Yes,” she whispered, rubbing against me faster. The sensation was intensely arousing, but I held back my orgasm to make sure she came first.

  “Oh my God.” She sped up, and I switched sides, sucking hard on her sweet breast and pinching the other nipple.

  Gwen convulsed against me, shuddering spasms wracking her body with pleasure. I wished I knew what it felt like to be inside her when she shivered like that. She fell back after a minute. Her limbs were loose, and she had her eyes closed with a beatific smile on her face.

  Her hand drifted to my cock which was still slick with her desire. Without opening her eyes, she started to move her hand up and down. The sight of her relaxed from an orgasm she had just had in my arms along with the sensation of her small hand stroking my erection got me so aroused I couldn’t stand it.

  “Can I come on you?” She nodded, looking up at me with smoky bedroom eyes.

  She knew I was close and began pumping me vigorously until I lost control, coming hard and marking her as my own. She wasn’t really mine, but for one evening I could pretend that she was.

  We got into the shower to clean up and still couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We couldn’t help but be close in a shower that small. I wanted to lift Gwen up and take her right there in the shower, plunging deep inside her as she writhed against the wall.

  But I couldn’t.

  We managed to have some fun anyway. I lost myself in Gwen’s hot, wet heat and I couldn’t think, let alone make rational decisions.

  For a fraction of a second, I was sorry that I had done anything with her. Having tasted her sweet nectar and felt her naked body pressed against me, how would I ever go back to a life without her?

  We eventually dried off, and we cuddled together in bed before falling asleep.

  I could get used to this.

  When I opened my eyes, I didn’t know what time it was, but it felt like morning. I had a slight hangover. Our night of reckless abandon was over. I shut my eyes again and nestled closer to Gwen. I didn’t want it to end.

  She sighed. “We have to get up.”

  I spoke into the soft
skin of her shoulder. “I don’t want to.”

  I felt her smile. She moved down until we were face-to-face. “Anders.” Her voice was soft. I loved it. If I didn’t open my eyes, maybe we could stay like that forever. She pressed her warm lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with the intensity of the love I felt but couldn’t speak.

  When she pulled back, I opened my eyes at last and gazed into her face. In the faint light from the bathroom, her lips trembled and appeared swollen. She looked slightly startled, and her breasts were heaving enough that I was getting hard again.

  “I’m not kidding.” There was confusion in her voice. “We can’t stay in bed forever.”

  “Says who?” I kissed her neck, making her gasp.

  “Says me.” My mouth on her breast made her moan, but she half-heartedly pushed me away. “I think we have to talk.” She stared into my eyes. “What are we doing?”

  I shrugged. “Enjoying the moment?” I bent and sucked the nipple that hadn’t had my attention yet today. She drew in a shaky breath.

  “Be serious.”

  “I’m not the most serious person.” My hand surreptitiously rubbed in circles on her belly and was gradually moving down her body.

  “I like it, but we can’t avoid this conversation.” She sounded frustrated.

  Yes, we could. I kissed down Gwen’s body, and she made no attempt to stop me this time. I needed to taste her again. Once more before the dream ended. I spread her creamy thighs and held her down as I made her cry out in pleasure.

  GWEN

  After one more roll in the hay, I finally got Anders out of bed. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but our relationship had moved into a different zone. I didn’t think we could go back to being friends again.

  That’s not exactly true. I knew we could never go back.

  On the one hand, I wished we hadn’t gone too far. But on the other hand, the night had been amazing. I snuck a quick glance at Anders. He looked lean and handsome as we crossed the landing pad to the starship. He had bags under his eyes, but after all, he had been up all night. He had a bit of a spring in his step this morning nonetheless.

  I had to admit that I felt spectacular. Anders had put a quadruple shot of endorphins into me. I still wanted more. The sight of Anders in his pilot’s blues was making me hot. His hair was a bit messy from the wind, and his hands were in his pockets. He was the picture of cool.

  I knew he valued me as a friend, but I didn’t know if I should get into another relationship so soon. Could I handle being friends with benefits without longing for something more? And I had no idea what Anders wanted.

  There wasn’t time to find out either. When Anders checked the queen’s calendar, he discovered it was a day she received commoners. Everything was coming up roses for us. It appeared we were about to ask for a royal favor.

  We did our flight preparation and launched as soon as possible. Marka wasn’t far. If we could stick to the schedule, we would arrive in the afternoon before visiting hours were over.

  Anders seemed confident the queen would see us even if we missed the window. I wondered how close they were.

  “How do you know this queen?” I tried to sound disinterested.

  He spun his chair to face me. He didn’t look the least bit fooled by my attempt at nonchalance. “She’s called the Markana. And we’re acquaintances.”

  “Acquaintances?” That sounded relatively innocent. People didn’t fuck acquaintances. But technically, people didn’t fuck their friends, either.

  What did I care, anyway? I wasn’t Anders’ keeper.

  He avoided looking at me. “If you must know, I’ve recently become concerned about the rights of the downtrodden. Slaves, indentured servants, and the like.”

  “Recently? You never told me about that.”

  He shrugged, trying to look tough and failing miserably. “I don’t like to talk about it. It doesn’t go along with my image. We met at a conference about the emancipation of all the slaves in the galaxy. We both belong to the Freedom Society.”

  I was not jealous of this woman. That would be ridiculous. Anders didn’t volunteer anything else. I could feel his eyes on me as I fiddled with the console.

  Suddenly Anders was on his feet and pulling me up, too. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me flush against him so I could feel his cock. “You do remember who I spent last night with, don’t you?” The whisper made me shiver.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Good.” His eyes burned into mine before he claimed my mouth and kissed me senseless.

  When he finally stepped back, he pressed his hands against the sides of his legs as if to keep from reaching out and pulling me back into his arms. “Give a guy a break, will you?”

  My eyes opened wide. “Give you a break? You’re the one kissing me.”

  “You were sitting there, brooding, looking a little jealous, and I couldn’t help myself.”

  Was he kidding? We weren’t anything to each other. I wasn’t jealous at all, especially of a queen I had never met.

  He grinned at me, and I frowned, snapping my mouth shut. I wasn’t going to waste my time replying to his ridiculous comment. I sat down and turned away to face my console. I wished I had something to do, but we had set the course already. I had nothing with which to busy myself. So I did what any confused woman would do.

  I fled to the bathroom.

  The next hour was fucking uncomfortable. I tried to look busy cleaning my console for the fifth time. I felt Anders watching me with a look I didn’t understand.

  When he finally spoke, he wanted to talk about something completely different than what was on my mind. “It’s far away but what does that starship profile look like to you?” I looked up, concerned by the tone of his voice.

  I stared at the monitor. “It appears to be a class four fighter. It looks like one of the new ones.”

  He scowled at the screen. “That’s what I thought.”

  I glanced at the craft’s statistics. “Somehow it’s moving faster than us. Aren’t we in the same type of ship?” We stared at each other. A tone sounded, and another spacecraft appeared on the screen. Then a third.

  “We have to get ready to fight.” Anders got up and started moving toward the gunner station. After he had taken a couple of steps, he came back, held my face in his hands and kissed me intensely. He stepped back after a moment and flashed that cocky grin.

  “Let the games begin.” He darted to his position in the back of the ship.

  I wondered what exactly we were getting ourselves into. I didn’t think I could have a relationship with Anders. I had just left a marriage I hadn’t even known was in trouble. How could I risk our friendship?

  And maybe I was getting ahead of myself. I didn’t even know if Anders wanted a relationship. He’d never had one the entire time I had known him. All I remember was what seemed like a constant stream of hookups with random girls on every planet and space station we visited on our scouting missions.

  I shook my head, amazed at my ability to focus on the wrong thing. We were about to be attacked by our own fighters, and we were outnumbered three to one. As I sat down at my console, I noticed our current course took us into an asteroid belt. For average pilots, that meant certain death.

  I buckled my belts and started checking the monitors. I sure hoped we were above average pilots. “Are you strapped in back there, Anders? It’s about to get a little bumpy.”

  Chapter Seven

  ANDERS

  I could hardly process what had happened. I had fucked Gwen. Not all the way, but close enough for me. She was still letting me kiss her. I felt as though I were floating ten feet off the ground. Something I had only dreamed about was now real. I had held Gwen in my arms.

  And she liked it.

  I couldn’t escape the nagging thought that it wouldn’t last. Gwen might see me as a fuck buddy, and it would all end with her leaving me.

  All women did, in my experience. I knew it
hadn’t been their choice. The virus had taken them. I had to savor every second of her presence while I had her. If these feelings were temporary, all the more reason to enjoy them to their fullest.

  Meanwhile, we had to get the pirates off our tail. Their leader must have given them hell for chasing us this far from the transport. I briefly wondered how they were tracking us, but soon I had no time to think. They were within firing range and had already hit us.

  “Shields up,” I called out.

  “Already done.”

  “Too bad we didn’t get them up a few minutes earlier.” I focused on the fighter on the port side and tried to get a targeting lock.

  “I would have had them up sooner if someone hadn’t distracted me.”

  All three fighters fired simultaneously. Our shields blocked their hits, but when I checked, they were down to seventy percent power. It was time to go on the offensive.

  I locked onto a fighter and fired. Its shield shimmered in space. It looked like it wasn’t damaged, but if I hit it enough times, I would bust through and land one on the hull. They were playing the same game as us. I just had to be faster. I locked and fired as fast as I could, going into an intense zone of concentration and focus where I hoped I could make magic happen.

  The fighter I hit fell back, and I knew its shields must be about to collapse. The other two moved to flank us, shooting at the sides of our ship and weakening our shields.

  I doubled down, firing as quickly as the weapons allowed. My fingers moved so fast they were nearly a blur. The statistics on my screen showed they were weakening, but it wasn’t going to be enough. I couldn’t keep up if it was two against one.

  “They’re beating us.”

  “What about your off-the-charts skills at blowing up shit?” she yelled back. “I thought you knew how to shoot the bad guys.”

  I pressed my lips together. Gwen was infuriating. “I do, but there’s two of them and only one of us.”

  “You’re just making excuses.”