The Girl Without a Name

by Rachel Burns

  An hour later, he was kissing me goodbye. I was shocked that he was only here for such a short time. I had wanted to ask him when he would be back again, but I couldn’t find my tongue.

  That was the first time that I got a tight feeling in my throat and chest when he left. It had hurt to see him leave. I stood on the air pad and waved goodbye to him.

  Daddy was right about one thing. Tristan and I were getting closer.

  I went back inside to see how mad Daddy was. He was in his office. I stood in the open door and didn’t say anything. I was waiting for him to notice me.

  “Did Tristan return to his airship?” Daddy asked me, still sorting the new books that he had bought on Galexit.

  “Yes, he had to go back,” I replied.

  “Will you help me finish putting these away?” he asked me.

  I walked into his office and went back to work. It was almost as if Tristan hadn’t been here, as if I had dreamed that he had come and been nice to me.

  That night when I went to bed, I lay down on fresh sheets that didn’t smell like my husband. I felt lonely. I couldn’t hold my tears back. I wasn’t sure why I cried, but I wasn’t happy with how things were.

  ~

  That happened again and again. Tristan would show up out of nowhere and leave as quickly as he came. He was very gentle with me, and he always talked very nicely to me, but he was such a stranger to me.

  One day he showed up while I was training. I was covered with dirt and dust from head to toe. Daddy insisted that I go with my husband immediately. Tristan watched me while I showered away the dirt.

  I was still very cautious with him. We needed more time than what we had to get to know each other. I feared that he would soon take me for granted and show his other side, the side that hadn’t wanted to marry me.

  It would break my heart if he told me that he was disappointed that he’d been forced to marry me.

  Chapter 21

  “Sophia?”

  I looked up and saw Tristan walking towards me. He was suddenly home again. This was really bad timing. I was waiting outside of our medical room. Two of my sister-in-laws were pregnant. I was about to be tested if I were. I was scared what Tristan would say about this. This wasn’t normal. Babies usually happened even though people planned against them. That was how my father explained why Tristan’s parents weren’t upset.

  Tristan held out his hand to me. He wanted to go up to my room. I had to obey him, but the doctor would only be here so long.

  I bit my lip and shook my head.

  Tristan smiled at me and looked confused. He wasn’t mad – yet.

  “The doctor wants to see me.” I looked up in his eyes.

  He looked worried. His hand moved to my cheekbone. He cupped it so gently. “Are you ill?”

  “I – No. I just think that I might be – you know.”

  “Oh,” he understood me, which was impressive because I wasn’t being very clear at all.

  We waited in silence for the door to open. When it finally did, Tristan stepped forward and shook the doctor’s hand. He introduced himself and laid his arm around me. “My wife feels that she may be expecting. We’d like to know for sure.”

  I was impressed how he made it sound as if he had been in on this for a long time.

  The doctor pointed to the medical table. I’d been in here several times in my life. The last time had been two months ago when I had tested as being not pregnant. I knew that it would be better for me if I were pregnant. Daddy would be gentler with me. He hadn’t spanked me since Tristan told him that he couldn’t, but I hadn’t done anything that might upset him either.

  A couple of the nannies who lived with us were also nurses. Two were also midwives. They were present and I knew that they would report to Daddy. Daddy was prepared for everything.

  One of my older brothers was studying to become a doctor. He was finishing up his last year at a hospital, where he was training to take over the emergency room. If war came, he was supposed to bring Maggie and their children here so he could care for the family. No matter what Daddy’s baby factory would go on.

  The doctor told me to open up my dress over my stomach. I worked on the buttons with nervous fingers. This wouldn’t be so bad if Tristan wasn’t here. I worried about what might be going through his mind. The doctor held the monitor over my stomach.

  “I can confirm the pregnancy. The child can be easily seen.” He pointed to the reflection above my stomach. The baby was tiny. The head looked huge.

  “Are you happy, Sophia?” Tristan asked me.

  I nodded at him and looked at the baby again. I was spellbound and filled with loved. Suddenly, I wanted a baby more than anything else.

  “Is everything alright with our child?” Tristan asked the doctor.

  “Everything looks exactly as it should.”

  Tristan looked relieved. He asked several more questions about my health and the baby’s. I felt very well-informed by the time he was finished.

  Tristan turned to me and kissed me on the cheek. He helped me to my feet, and then he paid the doctor for my care. He laid his arm around me again before we left.

  My dad was waiting out in the hall. He looked surprised to see Tristan too. “Welcome home, Tristan.”

  “I arrived just in time to see our child.” He gave my dad a look. Tristan was somehow challenging Daddy. “I will be paying for all of my wife’s medical costs. All bills should be sent to me.”

  “Of course, Tristan. Congratulations to both of you.” My dad went in to the medical room and talked to the doctor. Tristan took me up to our room.

  He made love to me even more gently than usual, kissing me often and telling me that I was beautiful.

  When he was finished, he took the time to talk to my tummy. He told the baby to make sure that I ate enough and good food so he could grow.

  “Why are you so sure that it will be a boy,” I asked him.

  “Did you see that thick head? Only a boy could be that thick-headed, but then again his mother has a thick skull sometimes too.” He was smiling and teasing me.

  Could I relax with him?

  Chapter 22

  I heard everyone outside of my door: my dad, Tristan’s parents, the doctor and one of my sisters-in-law. They were talking and explaining things to Tristan. They had called for him to come, and he was here in record time.

  “Please don’t wake her,” his mother said. “She just now fell asleep.”

  “She cried so terribly. She is exhausted now.” That was my sister-in-law’s voice.

  “I think it’s great that you are here, son, but this is a woman’s problem. Let the women take care of her.” That was his father’s voice. He was only pretending to be brave. He had been so excited when Tristan and I told them about the baby. I knew that he was building something in the garage for the baby. Now that was a waste of time.

  “What happened? Did she fall?” Tristan asked someone.

  “No, we don’t understand it. I checked her over yesterday, and she was happy because we listened to the baby’s heart beating so strongly and regularly. But this morning, she woke up in a puddle of blood.” The doctor answered him. “These things happen, and we don’t know why. I’m so sorry for your loss. In a few months, you can try for another child.”

  The door opened, and I was sure that Tristan had ignored them and came in any way. “Hey, I know you’re awake. No one could sleep with them out there talking like that.” He lay down on the bed beside me.

  I reached for his hand and grabbed onto it, holding it tightly. I couldn’t hold the tears back now.

  Tristan started to hum to me. He had the most beautiful voice I’d ever heard before. He was singing a song of goodbye, but he was using older words that were mostly forgotten.

  I inched closer to him. I laid my head on his chest, feeling it vibrate as he sang. Somewhere around the fifth song I fell asleep.

  He’d kept his promise to be there for me whenever I needed him.

&
nbsp; ~

  Tristan stayed with me for three days. In that time, we talked together and mourned our child. Tristan was very solemn. He was crestfallen about the baby too.

  Tristan stayed beside me as long as he could, but then he had to return to work. He promised to visit me as soon as he could.

  I couldn’t hold my tears back as I said goodbye to him. His parents stood beside me ready to take care of me.

  “It kills me to leave you like this. It’s so clear that you still need me.” He gave me a sweet kiss on my lips. Then he stepped back and stared at me for a moment. Suddenly, he stepped closer to me and took me in his arms, kissing me passionately. It took my breath away and promised so much more than I had ever felt before.

  “I’ll be a better husband. I promise I will. Each second we share together is precious. Do you agree, Sophia?” he asked me.

  I nodded at him. “I’m going to miss you,” I told him.

  Tristan smiled at me. “I’m going to miss you too. Take care of yourself, darling.” He got on board and lifted up. As always, he flew an extra round as I waved goodbye to him.

  His mother helped me back into the house. I had been given a month off to heal. I didn’t have to study or train. Healing so I could have another baby was much more important.

  I missed my baby. I went to bed and stayed there, reading book after book, trying to cope with the loss of my precious baby.

  It was almost impossible to think about anything else. I doubted that my heart would ever heal.

  Chapter 23

  Tristan was in the news again. The Aliens just weren’t leaving us alone. I feared I would become a widow soon. The news said that he was a hero, and that a war was on the brink. Daddy said it could go either way. I cried when I saw that.

  Daddy was nervous. He was very upset about the baby. Not as much as I was, but he wouldn’t be so as upset about Tristan being in danger if I had a piece of him in my belly.

  “I don’t want her watching that crap.”

  I jumped when I heard Tristan’s voice. I turned towards the door and saw that it was really him. I raced to him and threw my arms around him. I’d been crying before, but now I couldn’t hold the floodgates back.

  “Excuse us.” Tristan walked me out of the room and up to our room.

  By the time we got there, my weepiness was replaced by madness. “I don’t want you to go back to your ship.” I even stomped my foot.

  That got a smile out of him. “Oh I was planning on staying here for a couple of days. We’re even going to a wedding. One of my top men is getting married tomorrow. He’s also from here.”

  “I mean it, Tristan. I forbid you to endanger yourself further.” I had my arms crossed over my chest, and my lips were pressed so tightly together that they hurt.

  “It’s a good thing I never promised to obey you.” He thought that this was funny.

  “Yes, but you did promise to care for me and to be here for me, and you never are.” I was getting a little loud.

  His face turned very serious. “I am here as often as I can be. Sophia, I’m doing my best.”

  “Your best is going to get you killed.” I spat those words at him.

  Tristan smiled at me so beautifully that I started to cry again. He wrapped his arms around me. He held me tightly even though I was fighting to get away from him. “I love you too, Sophia.”

  “What?” I was finally able to push him away.

  He had a huge smile on his face, and he looked as if he were trying not to. “Oh honey, you wouldn’t be pouting like this if you didn’t love me. You’re worried. And as my wife, that is your right. But right now I want to make love to you. It has been so long, and so much has happened in the meantime. I need to feel your softness not the sharp side of your tongue.”

  I looked away from him again. I wasn’t finished pouting.

  He wrapped his arms around me too. “I love you so much, Sophia. And I am sort of glad that you are acting like this. I worried that I would never get you to like me. I behaved so badly towards you, but you’re such a good wife. You never bite me anymore, and you haven’t thrown anything at me either. We are doing so well.” He lifted up my hair and kissed my neck. “One day I hope you will say that you love me too. I’m so glad I got you.”

  I pushed him away, as mad as could be. “Of course I love you, you idiot. If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t care if Aliens blew you to pieces.” I pushed him down on the bed and lay down next to him. “It hurts me when you leave, and I worry about you so much.” I admitted.

  He adjusted me so I was lying on his chest. He ran his hand up and down my back. “You’re the reason that I leave. I leave so that you’re safe here. I’d do anything to keep them away from here. Every Alien I chase away or blow up is someone that can’t hurt you.”

  “Can’t someone else do that?” I complained.

  “I couldn’t trust anyone else to be as thorough. This is too important to leave to someone else.”

  “Tristan, this isn’t healthy. We’re never together, and when we are, we make love, and then you leave. That wasn’t how our marriage was supposed to be. You said it yourself, I should be biting you and throwing things at you. We should be fighting. That’s our true nature, but you aren’t around long enough to do that.”

  “What?” He was laughing at me.

  “We should be fighting about what to watch on TV, what to eat, and where to put the furniture.”

  “Yes, I guess you’re right.” Tristan sat up. He was thinking about something. “I have an idea. My next assignment is routine. We’re staying far away from aliens. Why don’t you come with me? If I’m needed, I can drop you off here.”

  “Really? You would take me with you?”

  “As long as it’s safe, why wouldn’t I?” he mused.

  “But your crew will know.”

  “Know what?” he asked me, giving me a puzzled look.

  I blushed and dropped my eyes. “I’m not very pretty, and I come from an orphanage. Don’t worry about me.” I shook my head. “I’ll stay here. You’ll be too busy to spend much time with me anyway.” I looked up at him and faked a smile so he wouldn’t know that my feelings were hurt.

  He looked so mad that I rolled off the bed and backed away from him.

  “Stop!” he demanded.

  I stopped moving.

  He got off of the bed and strode over to me. He took hold of both of my hands and marched me back to the bed where he sat down. “Take your panties off.” He instructed me.

  I got the feeling that he might want to punish me. He never had before, and I didn’t want him to think of me as a silly little girl. I was too embarrassed to listen to him.

  “I was planning on only using my hand, but if you insist, I can use my belt.” He threatened me as he reached for it.

  I shook my head. I didn’t want him to use his belt.

  “Then obey me as you promised you would on our wedding day.”

  I knew those words would come back to haunt me. “You promised to care for me?”

  “Yes, I did. This spanking is me taking care of you. I’m getting madder with each second that passes by.”

  Slowly, I reached under my skirt and took hold of the elastic of my panties and pushed them down. I lifted up one foot after the other to remove them completely.

  “Go over my knee. I want you to submit to your punishment.”

  My shoulders felt unusually heavy as I debated not obeying him. I glanced at his beautiful face and his green eyes. He was mad. There was no chance that he would back down. I placed myself over his knee and reached my hands forward so I could balance myself over his knee somewhat comfortably. Then I waited for my punishment to begin.

  Tristan lifted up the back of my dress and flipped it over my back. I was only half naked, but I felt more naked than I had ever been before. His eyes had to be looking at my ass. It was directly under his eyes.

  I wondered what was going through his mind. Was he mad at me? Or was he mad because it was
true. His crew would have been impressed if he showed up with Charlotte on his arm. Daddy had found a man to marry her. One of Kyle’s friends had been chosen. He jumped at the chance to marry her. The wedding would be taking place in a couple of weeks. Daddy wasn’t going to take me along because I wasn’t feeling well. He also worried that his airship might be attacked. He didn’t want to risk losing me.

  Tristan’s hand caressed my ass, giving each cheek a squeeze before he delivered the first stinging blow. He could hit harder than Daddy could, and Daddy wasn’t weak. Ten stinging swats landed on each cheek as I squirmed and fought with myself to remain still and not act childishly.

  “I could never be embarrassed by you. You have no idea how intimidating you are. You’re so amazing. The smartest woman in the universe is my wife. The others are jealous that I got you.”

  His hand swatted me again. The blow was heavy and an attention-getter. It promised to be the first in another set of spanks. I held my breath in anticipation, praying that I wouldn’t make him madder or embarrass myself more than I was now.

  Again and again he brought his hand down, striking each cheek alternately as my skin began to warm up. I knew that my cheeks were a pretty pink for him to admire. He stopped when he reached a total of ten swats to each cheek.

  Then his hand glided down to the back of my thighs. Again he gave each thigh a set of ten. It was getting harder not to cry. I had managed to take my punishment without a sound up until now, but when he started another set for my thighs; it caused me to cry out. He continued to deliver fiery and painful swats on each cheek again.

  The shame got to be too much for me. The burn from the stinging smacks from before, combined with the new swats, made me gasp and groan as I fought to be quiet.

  Some of the blows landed on both my thighs and cheeks. That made it impossible for me to remain still. By the time he reached the tenth and final strike for that set, I was crying. Fat tears were dripping onto the floor.