Jenna's Cowboys

by Laura Jo Phillips

  So, what then? Drive into the city for one? She could, but she’d have to close the shop for a day to do it. She only closed on Thursdays, and although she could financially afford to close an extra day, she couldn’t afford the loss of time. There was a high demand for her Bliss body products now, and taking two days off would put her too far behind in production, and on filling custom orders. Since this was Friday, she’d have to wait an entire week. There was no way she could take the suspense for that long. Besides, with her medical history, she really needed to see a doctor.

  She climbed out of the tub, toweled off quickly, pulled on her favorite flannel comfort nightgown and went into the kitchen for the phone book. She carried it back to her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

  There were two doctors in Sparx. Doctor Manning, and Doctor Layton. According to the ad in the phonebook Dr. Manning had specialized in thoracic surgery before expanding his field when he relocated to Sparx eleven years earlier. He was now a general practitioner and general surgeon. Dr. Layton, whom everyone called Doc, did the same thing when he’d relocated to Sparx nine years earlier, switching from a specialty in obstetrics to general practitioner and OBGYN.

  Together they owned and ran the Sparx Clinic which was new, modern, and only a few blocks from Jenna’s shop, just off Main Street. She’d heard that the clinic was well equipped, and well-staffed. Another mark in its favor was that she’d never heard a single bad word about it, or the doctors who ran it. It also stayed open seven days a week.

  She’d never met Dr. Manning, but Bernie, Doc’s wife, was one of her regular customers. She remembered Bernie introducing her to both of her husbands, Doc and his brother, Raphael, at a picnic a couple of months earlier. They’d seemed nice enough, but more importantly to Jenna was that Bernie was a bright and bubbly woman who was always happy. Jenna hoped that meant her husbands were good men.

  She picked up the phone, dialed, then started pacing her bedroom nervously. The receptionist wanted to know her reason for seeing Doc Layton, but there was no way she was revealing that to someone she didn’t know over the phone. After a moment’s hesitation she just said she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to see him. Apparently that was enough because she got an appointment at eight the following morning. After hanging up she sat back down on the edge of the bed, her heart racing painfully in her chest. One way or another, she’d know soon enough.

  ***

  The following morning Jenna found herself dressed in a paper gown, sitting on a paper covered exam table, waiting for Doc to return with an answer. Even though Bernie had introduced them, they’d never really spoken, so she’d had no idea what to expect. All she really remembered about him was that he wasn’t old, which had surprised her at the time. For some reason she’d assumed that since everyone called him Doc, he’d be old. Instead he was in his early fifties with salt and pepper hair and kind brown eyes. Old enough to give her confidence in him, without being young enough to scare her.

  Doc had examined her briefly, drawn blood, and requested a urine sample which she provided. Then he’d asked a lot of questions that she hadn’t answered, and a few that she had. She’d been relieved to learn that, since the clinic was self-contained, she only had to wait a few minutes for lab results instead of days. Unfortunately, each minute seemed to be dragging by at a ridiculously slow pace.

  After a polite warning knock on the door, Doc entered the room with a polite smile and troubled eyes. “You’re pregnant, Ms. James,” he said, deliberately dropping the news on her suddenly in an effort to get a read on her.

  There were several things about this young woman that troubled him, not the least of which was her insistence on having a pregnancy test right after telling him that it was next to impossible for her to pregnant, and then refusing to explain why. He was also very concerned about her obviously weakened physical state. She was too thin, too pale, and there was a very faint bluish tinge around her mouth that worried him a great deal.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her slender body suddenly vibrating with tension. “Can you say that again please?” He repeated himself, watching her carefully.

  She swallowed hard. “You sure, Doc?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Positively sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure,” Doc replied. “If you can provide me with a range of dates for when you think conception may have occurred, I can give you a probable due date. I’d also like to know why you thought it wasn’t possible for you to become pregnant. It could have some bearing on how we proceed.”

  Jenna nodded jerkily and gestured to her purse which sat on a chair beside the exam table. “Will you hand me that please?” Doc reached for the purse and handed it to her. She didn’t open it, but unclipped her keys from a ring attached to the shoulder strap. She set the purse down and worked something off her keyring with hands that shook so badly he wondered how she managed not to drop them. When she held her hand out he automatically reached to accept what she offered, surprised to see that it was a little flash drive.

  “That holds my medical records,” she said. He frowned, wondering why she hadn’t given the data to the nurse earlier. “You’ll see that my getting pregnant is unexpected. I’m shocked, Doc, and I’m terrified. I’m going to need your help.”

  “I’m not following you, Ms. James.”

  “Please, Doc, call me Jenna.”

  “All right, Jenna, what is it you need me to help you with?”

  “Keeping this baby,” she said, her big sad eyes suddenly becoming fierce. “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, to have this baby. I’m begging you Doc, please help me keep this child.”

  “You have my promise, Jenna, of course,” he said, his heart going out to her. He’d thought, for a moment, that she didn’t want to be pregnant. Had even thought she was about to tell him she needed to get an abortion for medical reasons. This small, fragile young woman had just surprised the hell out of him, and that didn’t happen very often.

  “Thank you Doc,” she said, placing one trembling hand over her stomach in a gesture so tender it touched him, and he’d seen more than a few pregnant women in his day. “April second.”

  “Pardon me?”

  “You asked if I could give possible dates for conception. There’s only one date. April second.”

  “I guess that narrows things down,” Doc said.

  Jenna nodded and he had the feeling she was gathering her courage to say something. He waited quietly and after a few moments, she spoke without quite looking him in the eye. “One of the files on that drive is a police report. I was attacked four years ago and was told I’d probably never have children.” By the time she finished those two simple sentences her entire body was shaking and her face was nearly gray.

  “All right, Jenna,” he said, moving to stand beside her with some alarm. She looked like she was going into shock. “I want you to lay down here.” He placed one hand on her shoulder and helped her swing her legs back onto the table so she could lie down. Then he pressed a call button on the wall, relieved when his nurse came in at once. “Nancy, Jenna needs to lie here and not get up until I say so. Check her blood pressure and pulse please, and watch her closely. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Even though he sounded calm to Jenna, Nancy’s eyes widened at his tone. She’d worked with him for nine years now, and she knew when he was seriously worried about a patient and he was as worried now as she’d ever seen him.

  “Of course, Doc,” she said, taking his place beside the table. “You just relax now, Jenna,” she said soothingly. “Would you like a warm blanket?” Jenna could only nod as she crossed her arms in front of her, her entire body trembling as though she was cold.

  “Nancy, do not leave her alone for a moment, no matter what.”

  “Of course not, Doc,” Nancy said, having already seen enough to understand Doc’s concern.

  Doc went into his office and plugged the flash drive into his computer. As a longtime resident of Sparx, Doc had heard of Jenna James, of course, and he�
��d seen her at various functions. But the woman lying on an exam table up the corridor was so changed from the bright, happy young woman he’d met just a couple of months earlier that he wouldn’t have recognized her if not for her long, dark red hair.

  He was fully aware that no one knew much about her past, and within moments of opening the folder labeled Crime Scene on the flash drive, he understood why. He’d couldn’t say he blamed her for wanting to leave such a horrific nightmare behind. The images made him sick, and he’d long thought it was impossible for him to be so effected.

  He opened a folder labeled Med Recs and scanned them quickly, amazed that Jenna was even alive let alone pregnant. He sent them to the printer, silently thanking Jenna for having the forethought to carry the important files with her. They certainly saved him a lot of time, and her a lot of expense, by answering most of the questions he already had about her physical condition, as well as some of the signs and symptoms that had frankly alarmed him.

  He opened the police report and read just enough to give him an idea of what had happened before sending it to the printer as well. Then he opened the final folder labeled Jacob. His heart actually ached for the young woman. He thought a moment, then decided not to print that file. Instead he copied all of the files onto the clinic’s secure encrypted hard drive, then collected the documents from the printer and slipped them into a folder. He removed the flash drive from his computer and went back to his patient.

  Nancy rattled off Jenna’s vitals in a low, calm voice at his request while he studied Jenna’s coloring. He was relieved to see that she wasn’t as pale as she’d been earlier, that the blue tinge was nearly gone, and she was no longer shivering. “Feeling any better, Jenna?”

  “Yes, thank you,” she said. “Did you get a chance to look through my records?”

  “Yes, I did,” Doc replied. “I’m going to ask that you agree to a series of tests.”

  “Tests?”

  “The human body can undergo some miraculous changes over the course of four years. We may discover that things are somewhat different now than predicted.”

  “Of course, Doc. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

  “I know you live alone, Jenna,” Doc said. “Am I correct in thinking that you have no family?”

  “Yes, that’s right,” Jenna replied. “Why?”

  “I’m concerned by your current physical condition,” Doc said. “You’re weak, run down, and much too thin. I’d like to see you put on a few pounds and get a bit stronger before we begin any tests. If you had a little help, it might go a long way.”

  “I don’t have anyone,” she said, shrugging lightly. “It’s all right, Doc. I’ve been on my own a long time now. I’m used to it.”

  “What about the father, or fathers, of your child?”

  Doc had thought Jenna was pale before, but that was nothing compared to how she looked after that question. The blood drained from her face so fast and so completely that her lips went white, and then, even more disturbingly, blue. Only it was a lot more than just a tinge this time. She began shaking so suddenly and so violently that it was only Nancy’s quick reflexes that kept her from falling to the floor.

  “Jenna, relax,” Doc said, moving quickly to the other side of the exam table in case she rolled that way. He stared straight into her eyes as he spoke to her in a gentle voice while silently cursing himself. He’d just read the damn police report and should have known better than to ask that particular question. He’d promised this woman he’d do all in his power to help her have this child, and instead, he’d carelessly upset her so badly that he wouldn’t be surprised if she miscarried right then and there. In fact, he’d be more surprised if she didn’t.

  ***

  Jenna was exhausted by the time she left Doc’s office a few hours later. He’d insisted that she remain until her vitals were within normal ranges, and he was satisfied that she was no longer in danger of going into shock. She had a bag containing prenatal vitamins, two large cans of a special protein drink mix, and a sheaf of papers containing dietary instructions and physical limitations. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she was determined to follow every single one of them to the letter. Doc had promised that he’d do all he could to save her baby, and she’d sworn to do whatever he said.

  To that end, even though the thought of food made her feel slightly nauseated, the first thing she did after leaving the clinic was drive over to Meg’s Diner. Before getting out of her Bronco she checked the street to be sure neither of the Howards’ trucks were present. Then she got out and went into the diner for the first time in six weeks.

  It was past lunch time, thankfully, so there were very few people in there. Meg was gone, much to her relief. She usually didn’t mind ignoring people’s questions, but it was different with Meg because she always found herself wanting to confide in her, which was dangerous.

  She chatted with Tish for a moment, one of Meg’s part time waitresses, though two minutes later she had no idea what they’d spoken about. She exchanged waves with the other diners before choosing a booth at the front window and sliding in tiredly. When no one approached to ask questions she didn’t want to answer, she even began to relax.

  After ordering, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and opened the calendar app. She marked January 7 with an exclamation point, rather than the words Due Date, just in case someone saw it. Then she put the phone away and sat looking out the window at the bright, sunny day without seeing anyone or anything.

  As terrified as she was of Cole and Dillon learning she was pregnant, there was a part of her that still ached for them and, she suspected, always would. She tried to imagine what it would be like to share her news with them and see them react with joy. But whenever she pictured them in her mind all she saw was her most recent memory of them. Ice cold eyes and hard, angry faces accompanied by cruel, hurtful words. Harsh but unavoidable reminders of what they really thought of her.

  She was a third of the way through her lunch before realizing that it was the first hot meal she’d had since the night she’d gone to Jester’s with Cole and Dillon. She set her fork down, unable to eat another bite. After putting the remainder of her meal in a take-out box that Tish brought her, she paid her bill and left the diner.

  Before getting into her Bronco she stood on the sidewalk and stared across the street at the darkened window of her shop for a few moments. The day was more than half over so there was little sense in opening it, especially since there seemed to be very few tourists wandering around for a Saturday. It was a little ironic since one of her reasons for going to see Doc in the first place was so she wouldn’t have to close the shop. She certainly wasn’t going to be able to take days off like this in the future, though. Medical bills were going to start piling up fast, and she had no insurance.

  She’d used about half of the money she’d gotten from the sale of her childhood home to stock and open Senses, and to purchase furniture and housewares for the apartment. She’d set herself a budget and she hadn’t splurged, but since she’d kept none of the furnishings from her old home she’d had to buy a lot. She still had the other half though, and she’d even replenished it some over the past year. It wasn’t a whole lot of money, but until today she’d considered it a decent little nest egg that she could build on over the coming years. Things had just changed, though. Drastically.

  She was going to be a single woman with a baby, and unforeseen things were sure to happen. She had no one to rely on but herself, and she sure didn’t have anyone she could turn to for help. The only security she had was her savings account, and it was no longer remotely big enough for her peace of mind. She needed to start building it up right away.

  She never considered asking Cole and Dillon for help. Even if she hadn’t been afraid of them finding out she was pregnant she wouldn’t have asked for help because it simply never occurred to her. In her mind her pregnancy, and her child, were solely her responsibilities. She would have the baby, take c
are of the baby, provide for and raise the baby, and she would do it all herself just like she did everything else herself.

  She didn’t try to kid herself into thinking it would be easy. In fact, it was an even more daunting prospect for her than it would be for most women. Doc had gently but thoroughly explained the risks to her life, and her baby’s life, that she’d have to face in the coming months. They scared the hell out of her, and she didn’t mind admitting it. But they didn’t alter her determination to have her baby and raise it with all the love in her heart. Love that no one else wanted.

  According to Doc, the first and most important thing she had to do was start taking much better care of herself. He’d told her straight out that if she didn’t, there wouldn’t be any baby. Nausea rolled through her at the thought. After it passed and she was sure she wouldn’t lose what little food she’d eaten, she walked to her Bronco, got in, and drove down to Flo’s Market. She sat in the parking lot for a while, going over Doc’s instructions and making a grocery list. Then she went inside and spent an hour filling up a cart with real food.

  When Jenna made up her mind to do something, she was both practical and methodical about it. She created a daily menu for herself, making the best use of leftovers and ingredients possible, and she stuck to it no matter how little she felt like cooking or eating. She also set up a work schedule that strictly limited the hours she spent working in the shop after closing. She extended the wait time between placement of custom orders and completion, hoping her regulars would understand, but knowing that if they didn’t, there was nothing she could do about it. She even included a half hour for lunch during which she actually locked the door, fixed her lunch, and ate it.

  Doc insisted on seeing Jenna weekly in order to closely monitor her condition. She’d pre-scheduled several appointments on Thursdays so she didn’t have to close the shop, not wanting to draw attention to herself among her fellow business owners. As it was she worried that someone would guess why she was visiting the clinic so often. She was surprisingly confident that no one from the clinic would violate her privacy, even though she knew Nancy and Meg had been close friends for many years.