Silver Christmas

by Helen Scott Taylor

  Jennifer hugged her, blinking back tears, overwhelmed by the greeting. As they walked to the car, she was aware of those they passed staring, some whispering together.

  "Is that Chloe's mother?"

  "Is she Owen's wife? Where has she been?"

  "My son works in the Rosemoor dairy, and he says she just turned up out of the blue."

  Jennifer pretended not to hear and focused on Chloe as she babbled about the nativity play rehearsal.

  "Miss Harper says I'm a born actress."

  "Does she now. Have you changed your career plans then?"

  "No. I still want to be a veterinarian like you." Chloe hugged Jennifer's arm and grinned as she spotted Paddy with his nose pressed against the side window of the car.

  "Hey, Paddy Paws." Chloe patted the window where his nose was.

  Jennifer opened the car door and grabbed Paddy's collar, pushing him back so Chloe could climb in.

  Paddy's tail thumped the seat, and Chloe giggled as she greeted her dog.

  "Remember to put your seat belt on," Jennifer said as she climbed in the driver's side. "Your play's at the end of the week, isn't it?"

  "Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon."

  Jennifer had an interview at a zoo about two hours' drive away on Friday. "I can't make the first performance, but I'll come on Saturday, if that's okay."

  "That's fine, Mum. You don't have to come both times."

  It would be nice for Owen to go to the first performance anyway. Jennifer wanted to give him space with Chloe. She didn't expect to do everything with them.

  The drive home was only five minutes, and soon they saw the tall gateposts. They rattled over the cattle grid, crunched down the gravel drive, and pulled up by the back door.

  Chloe opened the car's rear door and Paddy leaped out. She followed, waiting for Jennifer, and they walked to the back door together.

  "You've been very patient with the kittens. I think they're old enough for you to hold them now, if you want to."

  Chloe whooped, dancing around with excitement as Paddy jumped at her feet. Then she charged inside.

  "Wait for me before you pick them up," Jennifer shouted after her.

  She'd never looked forward to seeing someone pick up a kitten so much in her life before. It was strange how normal little things took on a whole new meaning when she shared them with her daughter.

  • • •

  The kittens had become escapologists!

  Owen chuckled as he stood beside Jennifer in the bathroom, watching Silver Sixpence and two of the other kittens crawling up and over the edge of the cardboard box bed with their little needle claws clinging to the blanket.

  "They've only just opened their eyes and already they're on the move. We'll have to erect a barrier around them to keep them penned in," he said.

  He and Jennifer were waiting for Chloe to change out of her school uniform, and it gave him an excuse to watch the kittens, something he could waste hours doing. Owen had seen kittens before, of course, but had never watched a litter from day one and seen how they developed.

  "I know. Nature is an amazing thing. Kittens aren't particularly precocious young, nothing like foals that are on their feet shortly after birth and ready to run from a predator, but they far surpass human babies."

  "Yes. Human babies are very dependent on their m—" Owen bit off the word as he realized what he'd been about to say and that Jennifer might take it as a criticism. "Adults," he finished belatedly.

  Things were cordial between them, and Chloe was happy. He didn't want to rock the boat now that Jennifer was finally back. Luckily Sixpence chose that moment to make it over the top of the box side and plopped in an undignified furry heap on the pillow Jennifer had placed on the floor for just this eventuality.

  "No you don't, munchkin." Jennifer scooped Sixpence up in a hand and held her at eye level. The tiny creature blinked owlishly. She was so cute with her silvery stripes, her little ears still partially folded over.

  The bathroom door opened and Chloe backed in. After a struggle, she managed to shut a whining Paddy on the other side. "He wants to come and see the kittens too," she said as he scratched at the closed door.

  "We'll introduce them to him in a couple more weeks," Owen said. "By then the kittens will be able to see better and hear, and will be less fearful."

  "Ready, Chloe?" Jennifer said.

  "Very ready." Chloe was almost running on the spot, she was so eager.

  "Which kitten would you like to hold?"

  "Duh. Silver Sixpence, of course."

  The duh was a little impertinent, but Owen let it pass this time.

  "Remember to video me, Dad."

  Owen held up his phone. "I'm all set. Lights, camera, action," he said, hitting the Record button.

  Jennifer passed Sixpence into Chloe's hands. She held the kitten against the front of her pink sweater. Owen sidestepped to get a better angle.

  Suddenly Chloe pulled her hands away and laughed as Sixpence clung onto the knitted loops of her sweater with her tiny claws, front and back legs spread-eagled. "Look, she's like a spider monkey."

  "Hold on to her," Owen and Jennifer both said together, leaping forward, hands out to do just that.

  Chloe cradled the kitten again and pouted. "She was okay. I only let go of her for a second so Dad could film her hanging on."

  "She's not a toy, Chloe. She's a baby animal. If you aren't going to be responsible about this and hold her sensibly, you can put her down." Jennifer was clearly angry.

  It was the first time Jennifer had told Chloe off. Owen said nothing, deciding not to interfere.

  "I'm sorry, Mum."

  "Sorry will be no good if Sixpence falls and hurts herself. Sit down here."

  Jennifer patted the back of the comfortable chair that Owen had carried into the bathroom when they were bottle-feeding Sixpence. They didn't need to do that now she'd gained her strength and was feeding regularly from her mother.

  Chloe sat, holding the kitten on her lap, and Owen resumed filming as his daughter stroked and tickled the tiny kitten, talking baby talk to her. Jennifer crouched beside the chair, her smile full of affection as she watched Chloe gently playing with the kitten.

  Owen adjusted the angle to get mother and daughter in the video together, his heart light, his fingers almost fumbling the phone in his eagerness. Although Chloe didn't have her mother's coloring, seeing them side by side, the resemblance was obvious. Chloe had Jennifer's slender nose and high cheekbones. They looked beautiful together, especially when they exchanged a smile.

  He'd waited so long for this, and he didn't want Jennifer to go again. He wanted her here where she belonged—where she might have stayed if he hadn't been such a selfish, controlling idiot.

  Chapter Eight

  Jennifer shook hands with Chris Prout, the director of the Warmshurst Zoo. They stood in the state-of-the-art reception area, a huge glass geodesic dome that looked like some futuristic biosphere on an alien planet.

  He led her past a massive decorated Christmas tree that nearly touched the glass ceiling in the center of the domed building, and gestured around. "Did you have time to read about our achievements? We're very proud of our conservation work here at Warmshurst."

  All around were beautiful displays of photographs of endangered species, and interactive interfaces where visitors could find out about the zoo's captive breeding programs and their success in releasing animals back into the wild. She'd spent ten minutes perusing the displays while she waited for the zoo director.

  "Yes, I did. Very impressive." Jennifer wasn't always a fan of zoos. Before she went to Africa, she believed wild animals belonged in their natural habitats and any preservation work should be carried out in the field, not in a zoo. After her firsthand experience of the difficulties of working in the wild, she'd modified her view. "I like your commitment to education, and the fact you're very selective about the species you have here."

  Chris beamed at her, a look of pri
de on his face. "I'm glad you approve. I'll show you around and introduce you to some of the people you'll work with if you decide to join us. Then we can have a chat."

  He led Jennifer from enclosure to enclosure along a color-coded route that made it easy for visitors to follow. They walked through the rain forest house, the desert house, and a huge glass aviary that mirrored the shape of the reception building. Their route led them past the big cats' area, baboon rock, the crocodile swamp, pens containing other large mammals, and they ended up at the ape house that housed gorillas and orangutans.

  At the back of this was the medical facility where she met the veterinary nurses and medical technicians. They were all friendly, and she could easily imagine working with them.

  Then Chris led her up a wooden tower, shaped like a lighthouse with spiral steps inside. Jennifer gripped the railing of the viewing gallery at the top and took in the panoramic view of the zoo spread out below her.

  "Do you see that row of houses over there on the far side of the zebra enclosure?" Chris pointed. "The zoo owns those properties, and we offer them to members of the staff. You could live there or find your own place, but we would want you close enough to have a quick response to after-hours medical emergency calls."

  Jennifer gazed at the neat properties with the zebra paddock at the bottom of the garden fences, imagining how excited Chloe would be to live at a zoo, or at least live here every other weekend and sometimes during the school vacations.

  Next they went to Chris's office and chatted over a cup of coffee. "You know I'm eager to have you on board," he said with a laugh. She'd guessed that when he'd approached her through headhunters. "Your experience is just what we need. What do you think? Will you join our team?"

  This would be a fantastic job with wonderful facilities, doing something she loved. She mentally ticked off all the plus points. The only negative was the distance from Rosemoor. It had taken her just over two hours to drive here today. If the traffic was heavy, it could take longer. Although that was acceptable if she was only going back and forth to Rosemoor to pick up and drop off Chloe for visits on weekends.

  So why was she so reluctant to say yes?

  • • •

  A Christmas tree sparkling with colored lights stood on the triangle of grass outside Rosemoor parish church, and more lights adorned the kissing gate that led into the church grounds, welcoming those who had arrived to watch the school nativity play.

  Although it was only a week until Christmas, Jennifer hadn't really given the holiday season much thought. She'd been too focused on other things, like getting to know Chloe and looking after the kittens.

  "Why don't you have any decorations up at the farm?" she asked Owen as he slowed the car and looked for a parking space.

  "We always decorate the weekend before Christmas, since that's about when Chloe finishes school and the holiday really starts."

  That was this weekend, she realized. "So you'll decorate tomorrow?"

  "Yep. Chloe and I always go tree shopping immediately after church, and decorate when we get home."

  Owen would be certain to ask her to go shopping with them, but was that something she should let him do on his own with Chloe? She didn't want him to feel she had taken over his life.

  Jennifer clenched her hands in her lap as Owen maneuvered his vehicle into a tight spot on the side of the road. People and cars were everywhere as the parents and relatives of the children arrived for the second and final performance of the play.

  "You didn't have to come with me, you know," she said. Owen had watched Chloe's nativity play yesterday, and she'd expected to come on her own today. She wasn't entirely comfortable attending events with Owen. It felt as though they were pretending to be a couple when they weren't.

  "I wanted to come. I watched Chloe last time; this time I'm going to video her."

  Jennifer nodded, nerves churning in her belly. Everyone in Rosemoor must know who she was by now. The Bramwells were well liked locally, and she suspected most of the villagers wouldn't like her for leaving Owen and Chloe.

  She climbed out of the vehicle as tiny spots of snow started falling from the leaden gray sky. The flakes weren't big enough to make much impression on the ground, but they were icy against her face.

  Owen circled the front of the parked vehicle and offered his elbow for her to slip her hand through. She hesitated for only a moment before doing so, resting her gloved fingers on his forearm.

  "You realize we'll have all the gossips whispering, wondering if we're a couple again?" Owen grinned as if the idea amused him.

  Had he read her mind? "Don't you mind if they think that?"

  She'd assumed he'd be eager to quash that notion. Surely he'd want the villagers to know he wasn't stupid enough to take back the woman who'd abandoned him and her baby.

  "No. Why should I mind?"

  Not sure what to say, Jennifer simply stared at him, trying to read his expression. They passed through the kissing gate and followed the trail of people heading for the church hall.

  A blast of warm air hit them as they entered the old building. The church and the church hall were two of the only buildings in the village not built of the local golden stone. The church was medieval and built of dark granite that must have been brought in from somewhere, while the church hall was far more modern, built just after the war and slightly shabby in an endearing kind of way.

  People greeted Owen, wishing him a merry Christmas and shaking his hand. Jennifer smiled vaguely and returned greetings while watching people in her peripheral vision as they checked her out.

  Owen led her down the central aisle between the rows of chairs to the front. Marcus was there along with Owen's other cousin Jonathan and his partner, Vicky. They exchanged greetings and smiled at her.

  She ended up sitting between Owen and the vicar, who joked he earned a front-row seat purely because the performance was in the church hall.

  Jennifer was relieved when the music for the carol "O Little Town of Bethlehem" started playing. The audience fell silent as the heavy red velvet curtains around the stage drew back to reveal the children in costume all gathered on stage around baby Jesus's crib, with Chloe at center stage dressed as Mary with a spotlight on her.

  Chloe started singing on her own, her voice so pure and sweet Jennifer's heart fluttered and tears filled her eyes. Chloe had mentioned singing, but Jennifer had no idea she would be a soloist or that she could sing this well.

  There was so much about her daughter she didn't know. She'd missed most of her life, so many milestones, so many important life events.

  How would she ever catch up? She pulled a tissue from her pocket and surreptitiously wiped her eyes, hoping nobody noticed.

  Owen had been videoing, holding up his phone to capture Chloe's solo. When she finished singing, he lowered his phone and his large warm hand folded around Jennifer's where it lay in her lap.

  He leaned close and put his lips by her ear. "I didn't tell you about Chloe singing. She wanted it to be a surprise."

  Jennifer nodded, not trusting her voice. Her emotions were too fragile, such a poignant mix of wonder and sadness.

  The thirty-minute play seemed to be over in half that time, Jennifer was so engrossed in watching her beautiful daughter. The girl was so confident and capable, speaking her lines clearly, leading the others in more carols.

  It was only near the end she noticed that Owen was still holding her hand, and when she tried to pull hers away, he squeezed before he let go.

  The curtain closed and all the parents rose to their feet, clapping. Then the curtain drew back again for an encore of "Silent Night."

  When the curtain closed for the final time and the lights came on, Jennifer felt strange as if she'd woken from a dream. A few minutes later, Chloe came racing out from the wing, and Jennifer opened her arms and hugged her ecstatic daughter tightly, kissing her silky hair.

  "You were wonderful. You should be an actress, or a singer. You have such a lovel
y voice. Why didn't you tell me you were singing?"

  "I wanted to surprise you."

  "You did. A lovely surprise. You have the voice of an angel."

  Jennifer released Chloe to hug her dad and pass along the front row, accepting hugs and praise from all her relatives.

  Owen's arm came around Jennifer and he drew her close, angling his head down. "We have a very talented daughter," he said softly.

  "I know. I'm overwhelmed." And she was, even more so than the first time she'd met Chloe. There had been something almost magical about hearing her daughter sing those carols onstage.

  Jennifer was painfully aware she didn't deserve to be accepted back so readily by Owen and Chloe. Not when she'd run away and contributed nothing to her daughter's life until now. "You've been a wonderful father, Owen. You've raised an amazing daughter."

  "She has just as much of you in her as me. I'm sure she must have inherited her voice from your side of the family. She certainly didn't get it from mine."

  "Even if she did, that doesn't give me the right to take any credit for Chloe's amazing performance."

  Jennifer almost felt she didn't have the right to be here at all. She'd been angry with Owen for so long, yet it was herself she was really angry with. She couldn't blame him for her stupid decisions.

  Chapter Nine

  Owen made a quick cup of tea when they arrived home from church on Sunday while Chloe dashed upstairs to change out of her skirt and put on some jeans, ready to go Christmas-tree shopping.

  "I'm going to check the kittens," Jennifer said, and wandered off.

  Owen rubbed his forehead. He didn't understand Jennifer. He'd expected her to be overjoyed to hear Chloe sing, and she had been impressed and emotional. But she'd seemed distracted and sad since she returned from the job interview at the zoo on Friday, and it worried him. Was she going to move away? Had she changed her mind and planned to take Chloe with her? He'd asked her about it a few times, but she'd brushed off his questions.