The Blue Falcon

by Robyn Carr

  Udele’s face flushed with anger. “Soon you will have to come home, Conan. Though you may not see it, your father ages. I would be the one to know.”

  “It will not be very long before Galen can be of service to you at Anselm,” Conan replied without much concern.

  “Galen?” she asked.

  “I did not say I would give him my inheritance, but I have Phalen, and Medwin, I fear, will have more need of me than Father. Remember, madam, that you have two sons, and Medwin, none.”

  Udele’s green eyes were lit by a strange fire. “I fear telling your father of your plan. It may kill him.”

  Conan smiled leisurely. “You insist on worry. Father knows, and agrees it is wise.”

  Her eyes blazed. “And it was not mentioned to me by either of you? When Anselm is to be my home for the rest of my days, no one saw fit to ask for my thoughts on the matter?”

  “Indeed, madam, your position was considered very care­fully. Were you old and less capable I would take personal responsibility for Anselm. But you will be a great help to Galen. You could manage without the aid of a man, and I have known you to do so.”

  “But Conan,” she pleaded, “if you are willing to leave a castellan in your charge here at Stoddard, consider the many possibilities! You could be free to pursue the gain of more land, adding to your estate. And Anselm is the richest, and therefore should be the only one managed by you--you’ve no need for a castellan if I am there and your visits are frequent. Put Galen to better use: send him to Phalen and use your skills to--”

  Conan shrugged to show his lack of interest before his mother could finish. “I find myself with a full bevy of duties already. Should the day ever come that I can manage what I have with such ease as to find leisure time, perhaps there will be a desire for other lands.” He laughed. “I doubt I will have much chance of seeing that day.”

  “You leave me ill fixed, Conan,” Udele said bitterly.

  “Nay, madam, you will always be well cared for. I gave my word to that. But your preference that I am ever close to your counsel and in constant pursuit of more wealth is not a part of the bargain. My mind is made.”

  The meal passed with Udele saying little and most of the conversation passing between Conan, Edwina and Edythe. Edwina did not dally in the hall but allowed her husband to guide her slowly up the stairs and help her into bed. Edythe followed, and Udele was left alone.

  And this is how it will be, she thought angrily. He will treat me like a worthless old woman before my time! The great and honorable knight has no interest in lands, power and wealth, after all I have done to guide him toward a position of greatness! After all I have sacrificed to help him rise to a position to build an empire, he will closet himself with his sickly wife and live out his days in Medwin’s meager hall, never seeking more, never improving on his lot. ...

  She rose to go to her chamber and met Conan on the stair as he was leaving Edwina. “Mother,” he said quietly, “you will feel better about Father’s fitness when you are with him again. It will not take you long to prepare to travel back to Anselm.”

  Udele looked at her son closely. Her eyes were bright and turbulent. She did not answer him but turned and continued down the hall to her own chamber. She had not foreseen this when she had put so much effort into Conan’s grooming. She had not considered that he would not go along with her plans and goals for him.

  Chapter 15

  The weather had turned crisp and clear with the new year, and, while cold, there were no storms brewing in the sky. Lady Udele’s journey to Anselm could not be delayed any longer.

  As she looked about her room at the ready parcels, she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, although her anger had cooled somewhat.

  Udele went to the small window and brushed the heavy cover aside to look into the courtyard below. Conan was helping Edythe to the back of a dapple-gray mare and then mounted his own steed so they could go for a ride together on this cold winter day. It was only the second time during the visit that Conan and his sister had allowed a small space of time to be together and talk, but to Udele it was the greatest affront. How carefully he tended these young women! Ed­wina was tucked safely in her bed, and Edythe was counseled and eased through her lonely state. Did he think at all of business, of politics, lands to be acquired?

  Her hand came to her breast as if to ease the twisting feeling in her heart. If she could only have more of his time, she could make him see what greatness there was to be had!

  She tore herself from the window and, with long, deter­mined strides, made her way to Edwina’s chamber. Sitting up in her bed, donned in a deep-green velvet robe, she did not look weak or sickly. There was a healthy flush on her cheeks, and her shining golden hair streamed down onto her shoul­ders in glowing torrents. She smiled as she saw Conan’s mother enter, and her eyes danced with new life.

  Despite the gloominess of her feelings, Udele still had her wits about her. She saw that her one chance of reaching Conan would come from making Edwina her ally. She returned Edwina’s smile and kissed her brow.

  “You are looking fit, dear heart,” Udele cooed.

  “I feel fit, madam, but I have no wish to worry Conan. I will keep my place a few days longer.”

  Udele looked about the room. There was but one serving woman with Edwina. Udele turned to her with a smile.

  “It is still so cold,” she said pleasantly. “I would dearly love a cup of hot milk on such a day.”

  The serving woman nodded and left them alone. Udele sat on the edge of Edwina’s bed and took her hand. “Edwina, my love, I have tried to help you in the past and you must do your part for me now. Urge Conan to return to Anselm, to his father and me.”

  “Madam, he knows his father’s needs, and rest assured, if Lord Alaric had need of him, I would not detain him here. I would certainly insist that he serve his father first.”

  “Edwina, listen to me,” Udele said in a tone that was much more humble than she was accustomed to using. “Unless Conan returns to Anselm to live, he will not see that Galen is not strong enough to manage that holding. We must show him that Anselm, the largest and richest of all that he owns, is his first concern. You must help me.”

  “Madam,” Edwina said with a sternness Udele had not previously heard, “the matter is for Conan and his father to decide.”

  “But this notion of taking Phalen Castle in lieu of his own Anselm is foolish! What whim is this?”

  “The need is greater at Phalen,” Edwina said calmly. “Lord Alaric agrees.”

  “Alaric, that old fool!” Udele spat, forgetting her plan to form an alliance with Edwina. “He would have Conan take the Cross and go off to some heathen land to die by an infidel’s sword! He gives no thought to estates to be gained in England. You can thank me for the fact that Conan stays. Twas I who urged him not to abandon his wife for a foolish war!”

  Udele rose and walked away from the bed a few paces, turning only to find Edwina smiling calmly. “A foolish war, madam? For Christ?” She shook her head sadly. “‘Twas not for me that you urged him to stay, for I would have sent him off with my prayers had he chosen to go. It was for yourself.”

  “You ungrateful wretch,” Udele hissed. “You cannot thank yourself for this rich marriage you’ve made. ‘Twas I! You would be bound to that idiot Tedric even now if I had not encouraged my son to take you for his bride!”

  “I know that,” Edwina said. “And even now I wonder why.”

  “For Phalen! I could not stand by and let Conan take a pauper bride while Tedric moved into the lands adjoining ours! What future for my son then? Should he sit idle while Tedric becomes richer?”

  “Had you left Conan alone, he might have married a richer woman--” Edwina started.

  “Richer? Hah! What riches see you in Cordell?” Udele looked in shock at Edwina, for she had not thought this argument through carefully. The words spilled from her mouth haplessly in her frustration at not being able to make Edwina see their p
light.

  “Cordell?” Edwina questioned. A smile came to her lips as she looked at the rattled woman. “Oh, madam, did you fear he would marry Chandra and bring a modest keep to the family?” Edwina laughed suddenly. “She had eyes for him, to be sure, and you took that to mean he would marry her?”

  “Oh, you stupid wench! He loves her still!”

  “My lady,” Edwina said, shaking her head with amuse­ment. “Conan is fond of Chandra--he has always thought highly of her. But you need not fear! We all love her dearly.”

  “You are a foolish child!” Udele said hotly. “It is not so innocent as you suspect! Tedric heard them himself, in the garden on the eve of your wedding. Conan unburdened his heart to her. He told her he deeply regretted his choice and wished to undo it, but alas, he would never break his word! Edwina, I have saved us all from shame. In time, Conan surely would have yielded to his passion!”

  Edwina frowned slightly and looked closely at her mother-in-law.

  “Edwina,” Udele said. “Do you not notice the way he looks at her when she is near? Your halls are alive with the gossip: Conan loves your sister!”

  The frown in Edwina’s brow deepened. “Madam, how have you saved me from shame?” she asked suspiciously.

  “I was the one to help Tedric into marriage with your sister! He could not have managed that alone. And now you need not fear! Tedric will never let her out of his sight.”

  “The money he gave my father for her hand,” Edwina said thoughtfully. “I would not have thought you had such great sums.”

  “It was not difficult to come by. It was what I had to do, for Conan and for you!”

  “For me? But madam, I have never worried that Conan would stray from my side.” Edwina thought for a moment and then with a half smile she hoped Udele would warm to, she spoke again. “But you were good to think of me, my lady. However did you raise the great wealth it took to sway my father?”

  “I have traded with the Jews on occasion,” she said easily, not remembering the trouble she caused the last time she let that information slip. “But you must not tell Conan. He would not understand that I was thinking only of him.”

  “Of him? Of course, madam, you were worried for him. And how will you ever repay the sum? Is there a way I can help you?”

  Udele did not sense Edwina’s ploy. “The debt is canceled. The usurer was killed in the riots.”

  Udele folded her hands across her chest and watched leisurely as Edwina threw back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. “It was not perhaps the same Jew that Tedric was accused of killing?”

  Udele’s eyes grew wide as she realized her mistake. She feared the worst--that Edwina would not keep her secret. “Don’t be foolish, Edwina! Conan has loved Chandra. I feared you would be abandoned and left to watch as your husband claimed your own sister. Chandra did not want to marry Tedric. And why? Because she is in love with Conan--still!”

  “Madam,” Edwina said, rising and finding her slippers, “you have been badly fooled. Tedric invented his story to bleed you of money; and you believed him! Now you have not only the money you gave him to burden your conscience, but the blood of the lender is on your hands as well. No doubt Tedric killed the man to free you of your debt.”

  “Fooled? Nay,” Udele protested. “Nay, he was not lying! I have seen Conan’s eyes when he looks at your sister. Edwina, can you really be so blind?”

  Edwina shook her head, refusing Udele’s pleading. “You have been tricked, madam, and worse, you’ve sold my sister into marriage with a murderer. I only hope there is still time to help her.”

  Edwina began to walk to her chamber door and turned suddenly at the sound of Udele’s laughter, a chilling and eerie sound that was not born of mirth. When she looked at her mother by marriage, she found the woman facing her with arms outstretched and palms up. The fear was gone from Udele’s face and there was now pleading.

  “But, dear Edwina, I had nothing to do with the Jew’s murder,” Udele said confidently. “There is no record bearing my name for the loan. You see, I am innocent in this affair! You could claim that I feared Conan was in love with your sister, but why? Where would the good in it be? ‘Twould only serve to further upset your husband, and there is nothing more he can do. And as for the murder, would you have Conan attempt his accusation of Tedric again, when there is no proof of any wrongdoing? Such a fuss, and for what?”

  Edwina looked with pity on her husband’s mother. “After all the wrong you have done, you worry only about causing a fuss--Oh, madam!” Edwina’s hand touched the latch to her chamber door.

  “Edwina, dear heart--” Udele attempted, grasping at one more chance to save herself.

  “Never mind, madam. It will be difficult, but perhaps it is not too late to undo what you have done.”

  Edwina left the room and walked to the stair. Udele followed, her mind racing. Edwina would go to Conan! And what would he do with this story? Would he ride directly to Theodoric? Alaric? Richard?

  As Edwina took the first step, she swooned slightly and clutched at the wall, leaning backward on the stair to counterbalance. A dizzy spell? A sudden weakness from the excitement of their confrontation? Udele looked behind her. They were alone. There was no one at the bottom of the stair. Her hands came out and pushed at Edwina’s back. Edwina gasped in surprise and lost her footing, falling and striking her head and then rolling, the swishing of her gown and the thumping of her limbs on the stair the only sound.

  Udele screamed, an involuntary shriek of horror, more at what she had done without even thinking than at the sight of her son’s young wife falling down the hard stone stairs. Her hands trembled uncontrollably and tears sprang to her eyes, tears of fear and desperation. She screamed again for help and ran to the bottom, finding Edwina in a heap there, her head bruised and her legs twisted in an unnatural position.

  The servants, summoned by Udele’s screams, arrived to find Udele hovering over the motionless form of their lady. Udele lifted Edwina’s head into her lap and, while weeping and shrieking, stroked her hair away from her smashed brow. “She fainted on the stair!” she cried over and over, but within herself all the tears and trembling came from the knowledge that she had pushed the woman--instinctively, grasping at her own survival, without a thought.

  She put her cheek next to Edwina’s nose. No breath came from her. She was dead. Udele felt a shudder run through her as she realized that she had murdered. Her wails became louder, and she let her head fall to Edwina’s still chest, clutching her as if she had been a dearly loved child.

  Lady Udele had to be pulled from Edwina’s still body. The lifeless form, a small bit of blood running from her brow and ear, was carried to the same chamber that she had just left. The servants laid her on the bed with measured care, straightening her clothing and arranging her limbs in a comfortable-looking position. Udele shortly freed herself from those holding her and ran sobbing to the same room, falling to the floor before the bed and resting her head on Edwina’s cold hand.

  Fear and revulsion made composure impossible for Udele. She looked up several times at Edwina’s face, where a look of horror was etched, her wide-open eyes staring straight to the heavens and her mouth still open in a silent scream. Gently, with trembling fingers, Udele brought the lids of her eyes down and pressed the gaping mouth closed. Edwina’s look turned almost peaceful. I never meant for her to be dead, her mind tried to convince a jury that might descend on her and smite her as suddenly and thoughtlessly as Edwina had been smitten.

  Servants crowded around the weeping Udele, but she did not notice their presence. Neither was she conscious of their slow and quiet withdrawal from the room as a taller and much more commanding figure entered. As she felt Conan’s pres­ence behind her, she turned red, swollen eyes up to him. He stared straight at the form that was his wife.

  His back was straight, his arms stiff at his sides. The blue of his eyes seemed sheathed in ice, anger and horror fixed his mouth into a straight line, and his templ
es pulsed with the rapid beat of his heart. “Conan,” she began, rising to him.

  “Leave me,” he said in a hoarse whisper, his eyes never moving from his wife’s face.

  “Conan, let me comfort you--”

  “Leave me!”

  Udele rose shakily to her feet, a slight and trembling form beside him. She looked into the cold harshness of his eyes and thought she saw a tear beginning to form. “Conan, she fainted on the--”

  With a sharp snap, his head jolted in her direction and stilled her attempted explanations. He stared at her with nothing less than hatred, and the guilt in her turned to fear that he would know what had happened. Cautiously she turned and made her way out of the chamber, pausing to lean against the closed door to collect herself.

  The guilt and terror began to ease as a sense of order returned to her befuddled mind. No one had seen what happened. She had not pushed Edwina with enough force to leave marks on her back. Indeed, she was swooning on the stair. She might have fallen in any case. And Conan would need her now--he would need the support and comfort she could give. Only she knew how to give that support! He would suffer grave disappointment, for he certainly wanted the child. For a time he would feel lost and need--

  A wail, loud and ringing with agony, came from the chamber within, stopping her thoughts and causing her to jump in surprise. Udele’s eyes became round and she almost panicked from the sheer passion and anguish of the cry.

  Finally she moved down the hall toward her own room, a dazed look on her face. Does he grieve? she asked herself. Did he truly cherish her so much? Did he learn to love her and finally forget the other woman? Giselle had said a lovely blond woman with strength and passion--Edwina had cer­tainly never been that! Never! But, had she begun to fulfill that destined role? Was she the one after all?

  Stoddard Keep was kept quiet and dark through the evening. No one spoke above a whisper, and while food was put on the table in the hall, few felt the desire for it and Conan ignored the tray placed outside the chamber door. Murmurings spread through the hall that Sir Conan had closeted himself with his dead wife. Some feared for his well-being, others questioned his sanity. Not one person within the keep slept easily.