Voyeur Extraordinaire

by Reilly, Cora

  She smiled widely at me, then stuffed more pancake into her mouth before she began to chatter about a few of her odd customers in the restaurant. I took a few bites from my pancake as well, laughing occasionally about something she told me. Bruno was too focused on the food to pay much attention to us, though Amy was still patting him. He would choose food over women any time.

  Having Amy act so normally, like a true friend, showed me once again that I couldn’t run away from her and Jared, and my life. I didn’t enjoy working in the bar, but I liked Leon and Mona, and I actually kind of liked living in New York even if I was constantly broke. And then there were Amy and Jared. They meant so much to me, especially Amy, and I would not lose her because I'd been stupid enough to sleep with Adrian.

  I wondered what he was doing now. Probably laughing his ass off because I'd spread my legs for him. Or maybe he was disgusted because he'd slept with a little, stupid virgin. And tonight he would likely take the next woman into his bed and bang her. In a few days he would have forgotten about me completely. I wished I could say the same about me, but I would never be able to forget what had happened. I'd given him a part of me. I wasn’t someone who attached great importance to her hymen, but it would certainly have been nice to do the deed with a somewhat decent guy. Instead I’d fallen for the epitome of a bad boy. I would never again be able to roll my eyes at a protagonist who fell in love with the bad boy in a book. I was that girl now.

  I let out a small sigh, causing Amy to stop talking and look at me.

  “I think I'll spend a few days in Harrington. I'm missing my parents and I haven’t been home in a while,” I told her, trying not to let my inner turmoil show. Even though it was a spontaneous decision to go home for a few days, I knew it was the right one.

  Amy’s expression turned worried. “You're not thinking about moving back in with your parents, are you?”

  I shook my head. “No, not anymore. There was a brief moment of panic last night when I considered it, but not anymore. I want to be a writer and New York is publishing central.” Not that it was doing me much good…

  She regarded me closely for a moment before a relieved smile broke out on her face. “Good. I wouldn't have enjoyed coming to Harrington to kidnap you and drag you back to New York with me, if you'd chosen to move back.”

  I couldn’t help but grin at her. Amy had that effect on people, and especially me. I didn’t doubt for a second that she would have come to my parents’ house to give me a tongue-lashing.

  “Will you take Bruno with you?”

  I nodded, glancing at my little pug; he was sleeping on his side, his hind legs twitching as if he was dreaming about running. “Yes. I'll just have to call my boss later because I'm supposed to work the next few days, and then I'll leave as soon as possible.” Jack would be royally pissed that I bailed on him, but I needed a change of scenery. But he wouldn’t fire me. I doubted he’d easily find someone else for the job. Who was keen on working minimum wage plus meager tips and get their butts touched on a daily basis?

  Amy grabbed my hand. “Promise me you’ll have fun. Promise me you won’t dwell on that night. Promise me you won’t think about that asshole for one second, don’t even give him that much of your time. Just forget about him. He's not worth it. You'll find a nice, caring guy. You’re too good not to.”

  I didn't say anything but I forced a smile. It would be hard enough not to think about Adrian every waking moment of the day. Until I wouldn’t think about him at all anymore, that would take a long, long time. I put down my fork. “I think I need to get home and take a shower. I’ll wash your pajamas and bring them to you before I leave.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  I rose and winced from the soreness between my legs.

  Amy noticed of course. “Maybe you should take some pain killers,” she suggested gently.

  I shook my head. “No, I want to be reminded of my stupidity as long as possible, then I won't do something like that again.”

  Amy's forehead creased in concern but she didn't argue with me.

  She stood as well and gave me a smile. “And really you can keep my pajamas for as long as you want. Gives me a reason to go shopping.”

  I shook my head with a little grin and picked Bruno up from the floor. Amy followed me toward the door.

  “Thank you, Amy. For everything,” I whispered and hugged her briefly, eliciting a yelp of protest from Bruno who was squeezed between us.

  Amy shook her head. “Any time.” Then she huffed. “Well, I hope you won’t meet anymore jerkfaces like that guy.” She pulled back. “But I mean it, Nora. You can come to me with anything.”

  “I know,” I said, pushing down the door handle. “Please tell Jared thanks from me. The poor guy has been hiding in the bedroom all morning because of me. Don’t deny it.”

  Amy smirked. “He’ll survive. He’s got his iPad and is probably playing Tetris.”

  I laughed. “Save him from himself then,” I said, then walked out, waving her good-bye as I crossed the corridor toward my apartment.

  When I unlocked the door, I thought I caught the scent of Adrian's aftershave. I shook my head in annoyance and pushed the door open. I set Bruno down, threw my red dress onto the ground and headed for the phone to call the bar. After the twentieth ring, Leon picked up. I flushed, when I remembered Amy’s suggestion, then shook it off. “Hi Leon, it’s me Nora. I need to visit my parents for a few days. Can you tell Jack that I can’t come to work the next three days?”

  Leon laughed. “He’s in his office. You could tell him yourself.” His tone was joking and light.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “You don’t want to talk to him, right?”

  “He loves you Leon. He won’t shout at you for being the bearer of bad news, but he’ll definitely shout at me. I just don’t want to deal with that right now.”

  All playfulness disappeared from Leon’s tone. “Is everything okay?”

  Great, so much for leaving the past behind. I couldn’t even pretend I was fine over the phone. I hoped my mother wouldn’t pick up on my bleak mood. She was like a bloodhound when she thought I was keeping a secret from her. “I’m fine. I just need a break from the bar and New York.”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  “You. Born and bred in Brooklyn, you’re practically in a symbiotic relationship with New York.”

  “True.”

  “So will you tell Jack?”

  “Of course. But you owe me.” Was he actually flirting with me? Why did he have to decide to do it after Adrian screwed me over?

  “Okay. And thank you.”

  I could hear Mona shouting something in the background.

  “I need to go. Have fun,” Leon said quickly, then hung up.

  I stared down at my phone for a moment. Maybe I’d imagined Leon’s flirty tone. I wasn’t used to subtlety when it came to flirting. Customers in the bar were always very plain about what they wanted to do with me, and Adrian hadn’t really beaten about the bush either. Speaking of bush. That was the first thing I was going to reclaim. I didn’t have anyone to impress anymore so bye bye Depiladoras and torturous sugar waxing. Take that, Adrian.

  I walked toward my bed and my eyes immediately flew to the window and the binoculars lying discarded on the windowsill. I felt unreasonable anger toward them. If I’d never started spying on Adrian, everything would have been fine. A thought struck me and I took a step back. My curtains weren’t drawn and I was far from the window, but what if Adrian was watching me?

  Chapter Sixteen

  I immediately felt stupid for thinking Adrian would bother watching my window. Oh please, as if Adrian is even still thinking about you, a nasty voice snarled in my head. He’s probably forgotten your name already. He’s probably already hunting for the next panties to get into.

  I hurried into the bathroom and closed the folding door behind me. I couldn’t wait to leave my apartment for a few days. I needed a break. I shed my clothes before I
stepped into the small shower cabin. The soreness between my legs was almost completely gone by now. Maybe it should have lasted longer. It would have been the perfect punishment for my stupidity.

  I turned the water on and let it pour down my body, hot and calming. Every shower in the previous weeks had included fantasies of Adrian, of how it would be to take a shower with him, to run my hands over his chest…But that would never happen now. I don’t do virgins. The words wouldn’t stop popping into my head and they were always accompanied by Adrian’s face as he said them. I think his disgusted face had burnt itself into my brain. Only thinking about it mortified me to no end. I'd been such a mess last night. Crying and throwing up…I don’t know how I’d have handled things without Amy's help. I shook my head.

  I had to try to see the good in what happened: People learn from their mistakes, so I would never fall for an asshole again. And I could probably use the whole thing in a book someday.

  I snorted. I grabbed the soft sponge and ran it over my body, trying to relax. I'd almost managed when I brushed between my legs. Adrian’s fingers had felt so good as he’d stroked me there. Why did he have to fuck up so majorly?

  I swore quietly under my breath and dropped the sponge before turning off the water. Maybe I should try to slip in the shower and hit my head on the tiles. People got amnesia like that, right?

  I’d probably just start lusting for Adrian again if I forgot what had happened. I deserved to live with the memories of my mortification. Stupidity deserved punishment. I'd known about Adrian's manwhorish-ways, had watched him bang more than one woman through my binoculars, and yet I'd foolishly thought he'd be different with me.

  I got out of the shower cabin, drying myself off with a not so soft towel. For a brief moment, I could feel the warning heat of tears behind my eyes, but I willed them away. Never again. I glared at my reflection when I passed the mirror. It took me ten minutes until I was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and had packed a bag for my trip to my parents. I needed to leave as soon as possible. I would return, but right now I needed some space. If I met Adrian in the parking lot by chance, I wouldn't be able to pull myself together, and I didn't want to cry in front of him, or end up strangling him. I put Bruno on his leash and grabbed my bag before leaving my apartment and locking the door behind me.

  I decided not to call my parents and surprise them with my visit instead. Maybe I could even startle my mother into silence. She always asked too many questions, and yet I was looking forward to seeing her and Dad again, especially Dad. He would never say so, but I knew he missed me a lot, more than Mom. I decided to rent a car instead of going by public transportation, which was a pain in the ass because Harrington was difficult to reach.

  ***

  It took me a little over three hours to reach my home town. It was shortly after four in the afternoon when I pulled up in front of the house. Two stories, white porch and flower beds with yellow and lilac flowers. To my surprise Dad's Toyota was parked in the driveway. I would have expected him to still be at work in his vet practice, but maybe he’d decided to take afternoons off after I moved out. Maybe he was worried that my mother would die of boredom without me there to fight with.

  I grabbed Bruno and set him down on the sidewalk, then grabbed my bag and got out of my car. Barking sounded from inside the house. Of course, Brownie and Donut would hear me before I even got close to the front door. Bruno yanked on his leash, desperate to get going. The door of the house swung open and Dad stood on the porch, looking at me in surprise. He was still in his black ‘work’ Crogs, so he couldn't have been home for long. Bruno tore even harder, and I let go of his leash. He stormed over to Dad, wagging his stubby tail excitedly. Brownie and Donut dashed out of the house, whirling around Bruno, then advancing on me. They were both black and white Bearded Collies and had more energy than a buttload of caffeine and Red Bull could ever give me. They jumped at me and it was all I could do not to fall over. I dropped my bag and patted them. Dad let out a whistle and Brownie and Donut stopped their assault of me and trotted back to him.

  “Thanks, Dad,” I said with a laugh. I picked up my bag, but Dad came toward me, hugged me and then took it from me. Dad’s hair was almost entirely gray now but it was still full, not a bald spot in sight. I’d inherited my thick brown hair from him. “We didn’t expect you home this weekend. Don’t you have to work?” Bruno, Brownie and Donut disappeared into the house. “No, not in the next few days.” It wasn’t a lie, after all.

  There was a hint of worry in his blue eyes. “Wonderful. We’re glad you’re home.”

  I’d forgotten how annoying it was that Dad always talked for him and Mom when she wasn’t even around. They were just like Amy and Jared. The forever and ever kind of love of soulmates. Couldn’t their luck have rubbed off on me?

  “Where’s Mom?”

  “In the kitchen, baking her famous Apple pie.”

  We walked into the house. Barking was coming from the kitchen, then Mom’s voice. “You need to share with each other. Here another bite for you.”

  I followed the noise into the kitchen with its white fronts and dark wooden counters. Mom was busy feeding Bruno a strip of bacon. Brownie and Donut were still chewing on theirs, but already eying the plate loaded with more bacon on the table.

  “That’s not good for dogs, you know?” I said as a way of greeting. “Too much fat and salt.”

  “Oh shush, I never see Bruno anymore. Let me spoil him when he’s here.” Of course that was her subtle way of telling me that I should visit more often, or better yet move back to Harrington. She finally turned her attention away from the dogs, wiped her greasy hands on a kitchen towel and then opened her arms wide. I hugged her, then pulled back.

  “Has anything happened?” she asked, her forehead creased in worry as she studied my expression. The dogs were alternating between watching her back and the plate of bacon.

  I shook my head. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

  “Because you show up here without us nagging you about it. It’s just odd.”

  “I missed you and Dad. That’s all.”

  Mom looked doubtful. She still had hardly any wrinkles, only a few lines around the eyes. I hoped I would look this good when I was fifty. Her blond hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail and beneath her apron she was wearing a flowery dress. “Are you sure?”

  I would never tell Mom about Adrian. It was too embarrassing. Mom would probably say that it was my fault for moving to a city like New York. There were no decent men there. Sometimes I thought she was right.

  And I didn't want Dad to go to jail for breaking a few bones in Adrian’s body, or at least try to break them. If Jared was right and Adrian knew how to fight, then Dad was doomed. He wasn’t exactly the warrior type. More a care bear.

  I giggled, and now Mom looked even more concerned.

  “I'm fine, Mom, honestly. I just wanted to spend some time at home and with you.”

  She gave me a look that said she knew I wasn't telling the entire truth, but she didn't say anything. Dad appeared in the doorway, smiling. “I took your bag up to your room.” His eyes flitted between me and mom, probably worried we were fighting. Bruno was still sniffing the floor excitedly, searching for more bacon. “You really shouldn’t give him human food,” I said to change the topic.

  “Who else is going to eat it then? You’re still a vegetarian, right?”

  She always said the word vegetarian as if it was something offensive. “Yes, Mom.” I considered lying that I was a vegan just to make her freak out completely, but deciding that I wasn’t a teen who lived for riling up her parents anymore, I refrained. “Dad can eat it.”

  Dad was, after all, eying the bacon with almost as much longing as the dogs.

  “Your dad’s on a diet. His cholesterol was over the roof.”

  Dad shrugged, looking sheepish. “It wasn’t that bad.”

  “You’re not eating the bacon,” Mom said, jabbing a finger in his direction. />
  “What about the cake?” I nodded toward the apple pie sitting in the open oven. “I’d take a piece of that.”

  “That’s for the party tonight,” Mom said.

  Dad’s eyes lit up. “You can come. Maybe you’ll meet old friends.” Mom gave him a look.

  What friends? Most of them had gone to college all over the country and the rest…well, that was something I really didn’t want to think about. I raised my eyebrows. “Party?”

  Mom fiddled with her apron, then threw the dogs a few more bites of bacon. “Yes, Frank and Liz are celebrating their 30th anniversary.”

  I froze. “You mean the Millers?”

  Dad’s and Mom’s eyes met, then she shrugged. “Of course. You should really come.” She paused. “I’m sure Rachel will be happy to see you.”

  Rachel and I hadn’t talked since senior year, since our huge fallout two months before graduation.

  I forced a smile. “I doubt it. We haven’t been friends in a while.”

  “Such a shame. You two were inseparable since kindergarten. I still don’t understand--”

  “Mom,” I said in warning. “Not this again.”

  Dad wrapped an arm around my and then Mom’s shoulder. “Let’s not argue.” He kissed Mom’s temple. “And I think you should come to the party. It’s your chance to see half of town again.”

  Dad knew that I had more trouble refusing him than Mom. “Okay, but I can’t promise that I’ll enjoy it.”

  “Perfect,” Dad said, then dropped his arms off our shoulders, snatched the last piece of bacon from the plate and pushed it into his mouth before Mom could react. She shook her head, fighting a smile. “That means no apple pie for you tonight.”

  “We’ll see.” Any moment they’d start making out. How could they still be in love after such a long time?

  “So when does the party start?” I asked quickly.