by J. L. Ostle
“Language,” she says and I start to laugh.
“That’s all you can say? Language. Who gives a fuck if I swear? I told you then, I’m telling you now, he tried to fucking rape me. Do you know how scared I was? How much I wanted you? You were supposed to tell me everything was going to be okay but you just called me a liar. You didn’t even think twice about it.” I feel tears flow down my cheeks but I don’t care.
“He grabbed me. I was attacked at a party, I went to him and he was drunk, he smelled of alcohol. I can still feel his breath on my neck, over my body. He pinned me down, ripped all of my clothes. I was crying and screaming but it was like he was enjoying it. He said I had been teasing him, that I owed him.”
“Stop it.” She tries to block her ears but I keep going,
“He sucked on my nipples, kissed my neck and stomach; he pressed his nose against my pussy and inhaled me, telling me how good I smelled. I watched him unzip his jeans, I watched him take out his dick and try to press against me.” I am full on crying now. “He tried to press inside me but I was too dry. I was so scared, he was slurring and he fumbled. That’s how I got away. I pushed him, I pushed him off me and ran home. Like always, you and dad weren’t there. I had to call the police and wait. You didn’t believe me about the party because everyone denied it. You don’t believe your brother, my fucking uncle, tried to fuck me!” I shout at her. She looks at me like I’m still lying.
“So everyone denied it? The party, him? Isn’t that ironic?” She crosses her arms. I run to my room and grab my laptop and load it up. She’s looking at me like I’m crazy but I get on the Facebook page and get to the part I want to show her.
“Look, then.” She looks at me to the laptop. “LOOK!” I scream and she jumps. She walks to the laptop and there is picture after picture of me in my underwear, men touching me, men licking me. Emma gave me the link when I first came here. The caption even says: If you see this and tell, you will pay. I know it’s a message for me. “Is that enough proof for you? This is what those girls did to me, just before your brother tried to take my virginity.” I see her tears but it doesn’t affect me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she sobs.
“Because you didn’t believe me when you should have. I didn’t see this until after I moved here.” She covers her mouth with her hand and she goes through each picture. There are even pictures of some of the things they did to me. There is a picture of Lindsey when she cut my hair off.
“You said the bullying stopped.” She looks at me.
“If I told, it got worse. You and dad were so busy, so I kept it to myself. Well no, that’s a lie. I told my dear uncle. He knows everything, he was my safety net. I went to him for everything and with his messed up head thought that was me hitting on him.”
“He wouldn’t touch you like that. He just wouldn’t,” she says.
“Well he did. Did you know his house is covered in pictures of me? Each one, I’m in. In his basement is a shrine of me. Loads of pictures from age fifteen onwards, me sleeping, me at the pool, me watching TV, everything.” She shakes her head. “Believe what you want, I don’t need you anymore. I don’t care. You chose a side.” I see more tears fall down her cheeks. “Oh and mother?” She looks up at me. “You chose the wrong side, now leave.” I walk to the door and open it. She walks to me, trying to hug me but I hit at her, pushing her away from me.
“Honey, please.” I shove her outside.
“Leave me alone!” I shout.
“Is everything okay?” Caron steps out of her door and looks at me and my mother.
“Yeah, my mother just heard all the gory details on how her brother tried to fuck me.” Caron stands at my side and glares down at her.
“You make me sick. Your baby, your daughter tries to tell you she almost got raped and you call her a liar. Your daughter is an amazing, caring person. How could you ever doubt her? It took three years for her to tell me what happened. You disgust me.”
“Raven…” my mother tries to plead with me but Caron interrupts her.
“Oh, I should probably give you this.” She runs back into her place and is carrying a box. “Tell that sicko to leave Raven alone. There is a picture and letter from him.” My mother looks inside and starts to read the letter and she falls to the floor and sobs.
“Now you have evidence, mother. Have a nice life.” Her cries come louder but I don’t care. She and him have hurt me enough. Caron and I walk back into my place and I slam the door shut but as soon as it is, I fall to the floor and cry. Caron holds me as I cry into her. At least the truth is out. She knows what kind of monster he is. What he tried to do.
“It’s okay now, everything is going to be okay,” Caron consoles me. I let her words soothe me.
Raven
“Are you okay?” Caron is stroking my hair as I lay my head on her legs. We have stayed in the same spot for a long time. I just can’t seem to move.
“Yeah, I think so. Knowing that she knows the truth, that she will tell my father, I feel like the weight is off my shoulders. I feel like I have finally found my closure.” I sigh and look up at her.
“That’s good. When she realized that what you said was true, she knew what she did was wrong.”
“I know.”
“Will you ever forgive her?” I shrug.
“I don’t know. I’ve held onto this hate for my parents, for him, for those girls that made my life hell. My life changed because of them; I was never the same after that day. I always wonder, what if he actually raped me? What if I couldn’t run? Would I be even more broken than I already am?”
“You shouldn’t think like that, it’s a good thing you got away and I don’t think you're broken. You moved on, you stood up to your mother. You took control of your life.”
“Jonny said that I’m strong.”
“Does he know?” I shake my head.
“No, not yet, he said it after I told him about those girls.” She stops stroking my hair.
“You need to tell him before he finds out in another way. It could have been Jonny entering your apartment and he would be hurt that you never told him.” I know. Just how can I tell him now?
“I need to go see him.” I sit up and my body feels achy.
“To tell him about that dick?”
“No, I just need him to hold me. I just need to see him. I will tell him, I promise, but I need to be close to him.” She gives me a small smile.
“Okay, you go to him. If you need me, you know where to find me.” I give her a huge hug.
“Thank you, thank you for being there for me. For not judging my life, for listening to me when I spewed all my past on you.” She hugs me back.
“That’s what friends are for. Now go get your guy.” She slaps my ass. “Sorry, thought you might like it.” She waggles her eyebrows at me and I laugh. I go to my bathroom and clean my face and brush my hair. I don’t want him to worry when he sees me. I should take a shower but I need to see him now.
I get a cab and head straight to Stone Enterprises. I walk in and I’m about to head straight to the elevators when the receptionist stops me.
“I’m sorry Miss, but you can’t just walk in.” I glare at her and she shrieks in her chair. I am not in the mood for some person’s shit.
“You know who I am, and if you don’t let me past, I will get your ass fired.” Her mouth opens and closes.
“You couldn’t do that.” I smirk at her.
“Try me.” I watch her think of her options.
“Go right ahead.” I nod.
“Good choice.” I head to the elevators and enter and when I get to his father’s floor, I get off and see his new secretary isn’t there.
I remember Jonny saying his father works mainly at home now, only using his old office if he needs to. I look at the walls and smile when I see all the old paintings down, replaced by ones that are breathtaking. I wonder who painted them.
I walk to the door and wonder if I should just walk in; it's Jonny He
is used to me just barging my way in. I open the doors and I freeze. I feel tears once again sliding down my cheeks.
Jonny has a girl bent over his desk. Her long, light brown hair sprawled in front of her. He has a whip in his hands as he thrusts inside her. He is grunting and she is moaning in pleasure. I watch him whip her again and she begs for more. I gasp and he turns his head. When he sees me, he stops.
“Sir, don’t stop, please.” Sir? Is she a submissive?
He doesn’t move out of her, he doesn’t move at all. I feel like the last piece of happiness I had is shattered. I feel my heart break and walls starting to build around it. It’s scary how many thoughts go through your head in just a few seconds. I see her turn her head and she looks me up and down. I feel like I’m looking in a mirror. She looks similar to me. Same shape face, same pale, white skin, long brown hair. My hair was once black but I have started to let my natural color come back through.
He really is fucked up. Is he really like Christian Grey? Does he like brunette girls to fall for him? I feel anger build inside me and I walk away from him. I hear him screaming my name, but I ignore him. Lucky the elevator opens when I press the button, I step in and I actually feel numb. I watch him run out but the doors close. I feel like I’m on autopilot. So much has happened today. I feel emotionally drained.
I just want to hurt him; I want to hurt him like he has hurt me. I watch the numbers go down and when I see a familiar number I press it and watch the doors open. I ask a person who guides me to the right place. I walk to an office and enter without knocking. I see Matty sitting behind his desk. Seeing his messy hair and a pair of glasses makes him look like Clark Kent.
“Raven? What a nice surprise.” He stands up and walks closer to me. “Is everything okay?” He looks into my eyes, I’m sure a void is looking at back at him.
“I want you to fuck me.” He looks at me in confusion.
“You what?” He takes off his glasses.
“I want you to fuck me, I need you to make me feel good. I need to feel something.” I tell him. He looks out of his office and quickly closes the blinds.
“Raven, I don’t think…”
“If you don’t fuck me, I will find someone else.” I walk closely to him and press my body to his. “Don’t you want me, Matty? Don’t you want a taste, knowing you're taking something from Jonathan?” I don’t use the name Jonny; I will never call him that again. I see Matty thinking about what I said. I unzip his pants and start to stroke his erection. “Fuck me, Matty, make me scream,” I whisper in his ear and that’s all it takes.
He pushes me against the wall and lifts my skirt, pushing my underwear to the side, and with one quick thrust, he pushes inside me. We both moan. I just want to feel anything but this hole that has taken root inside me. I want to feel something. He thrusts in harder and faster and we are panting and when I start to feel that ache start to build, Matty is pushed off me and Jonathan is standing there glaring at us both.
“Don’t you dare touch her,” he growls and Matty smirks at him.
“Too late for that, mate. Fuck, she is a tight little thing. So glad she begged me to fuck her.” Jonathan punches him and they start to wrestle each other on the floor. Anger finally comes back again. I quickly walk out of the office and neither of them notices. I go down the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator, and I go to the girl who let me past.
“If you see Jonathan, tell him he can stay in the dark, he deserves to be stuck there.” She looks at me and when she sees my eyes, hers soften. She knows something bad has happened.
“Of course.” I walk out and hail a cab and when I get in, I ask the driver to drive around for a while. I sit there and it finally hits me all at once.
I see it like a loop in my head. Watching the man I finally let in fuck someone else. Again. Obviously he can’t change. I feel so stupid. I should have seen it coming. I groan when I think about letting Matty fuck me. Why did I do that? Why did I let him? I grab my purse to find a tissue when Linda’s’ business card falls out. I look at it and make a choice. I call the number and after a few rings, she answers.
“Wasn’t expecting to hear from you again.” She chuckles.
“Is that offer still open?” I ask her.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then I’m in.” She pauses.
“What about the guy?”
“He turned out not to be who I thought he was.”
“They never do. Okay, I can send you the paperwork if you give me your address.”
“No wait, can you send it to me at the dance studio? I want to leave as soon as possible.” I can’t go back to my place, he will try and find me.
“Of course, give me a couple of hours and I can get you a plane out first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you, Linda.”
“You will love it here, I promise.” We say our goodbyes and hang up. I tell the driver to take me to the dance studio and I call Caron next and when she answers I fall apart and tell her everything. I tell her that I’m leaving in the morning. I need to get away.
I can’t believe I’m running again, but another guy hurt me; this time, it’s so much worse. I let him take me into his world. I tried to please him. Be what I thought he wanted, but I guess it was never enough. I show him the real me and he runs.
He betrayed me.
I let the final tears fall and think about the next chapter of my life. Like hell, I will let another man get close to me. I don’t care if I stay alone forever.
Fuck men.
Jonny
Three years later
“Why have you dragged me out to watch a bunch of girls and scrawny looking men dance around in tights and tutus?” I grumble as we head into a theater. We are doing a fundraiser in a couple of weeks and we need entertainment and my team thinks its best if we get something unique and different.
“Because, you’re the boss and need to agree with it, so stop your whining and watch.” Stuart, my top man, tells me. He’s lucky I let him talk to me like that or I would fire his ass. I don’t take shit from anyone. I have blossomed my business and franchised in four different states. I was rich once, but now I am rich for five lifetimes.
I walk in and take a seat in the front row as other members of the board sit close by. It has been a long day and I just want to get this over with and head straight to bed. The owner of the company who I’ve had checked out, Linda, walks onto the stage and introduces herself and talks a little about her company. Even though its ballet, she reassures us that it is mixed with modern dance and that her lead dancer is phenomenal. I roll my eyes and huff and Stuart hits my arm.
The lights turn down and I hear the first beat of the music come on. I watch as women come onto the stage and start twirling and gliding across the floor, then a few men come on and they all start to dance with each other. I have to admit, it’s not bad. Definitely not boring. I am about to turn my head to the side as I see a spotlight shine on a shadow of a person. Even though I can’t see her, I feel this pull towards her. It has been years since I felt something like that.
I watch how perfectly she moves, how in sync she is with the rhythm. I am transfixed on this stranger. I hate when they all mix together. I try and move my head so I can search for her. I see her spin and stretch her legs; I love that she is flexible. I feel my dick starting to harden when I think about what I could do to that body.
The music is coming to an end and I watch her start to walk slowly to the front of the stage and the light finally shines on her face. My breath catches. Her long, dark brown hair reaches to the bottom of her back. She still looks as beautiful as ever. I lean forward and she twirls and twirls and finally stops. Her eyes focused ahead of her. I am pleading to the Gods for her to look at me, but she doesn’t.
The music ends and all the dancers start to walk off stage. I see her walk towards a girl and a guy and they start laughing, then walk away. My body is screaming for me to chase after her. I haven’t seen her in three years
. It’s like she fell off the edge of the earth. I tried to find her but I couldn’t. After a year, I knew she didn’t want to be found.
But now she is back.
I am going to make her mine again.
I am going to own her, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
I will have her.
To be continued
Read on for the first 2 chapters of In The Spotlight
and
A sneak peak of Eden Rose future release Score: The Ultimate Betrayal: The Four Quarters
Sky
I take in a deep breath and look out the window of the cab I’m sitting in. I can’t believe I’m here. I pay the driver and hop out. He helps me grab my suitcases from the trunk and wishes me a good day.
Today is a good day.
I’m finally away from my controlling parents and moving in with my sister. I shake my head, getting rid of all the nasty words they spewed at me as I was leaving. They basically disowned Lake, their eldest daughter. Since I was the only child left, they put all their expectations and demands on me. I felt all the pressure to be the good daughter. The one with a future they can dictate and manipulate.
Control.
I push the memories away, not wanting to ruin this moment. Rolling my suitcases up the marble path to a two story house, I look around and see children laughing as they ride their bikes; people talking, waving at each other as they walk past. I feel like I walked into Pleasantville.
I love it though. It’s different from my norm and that is exactly what I need.
I take in another deep breath as I knock on the white door and wait. My heart is beating frantically. I haven’t seen my sister in over four years. Not since she left, telling our parents to basically go fuck themselves. Her words, not mine. She found love and moved in with her boyfriend, Leon. She knew how to get out of their clutches. She found the loop hole.