Home Fires

by Susan Cameron

  Dr. Bootiman closed the bedroom door, and kindly asked Annie how she was feeling.

  Like I’m being drawn and quartered, she thought, but replied, “I’m managing, doctor. Mrs. Clinton and Jim are helping me through the worst.”

  After the doctor spoke to Mrs. Clinton and examined Annie, he called Jim into the bedroom. “This is going to be a long night, I’m afraid. It appears that we have a large baby, and your wife is a small woman, Mr. Kidd.”

  Jim looked tenderly into Annie’s eyes, brushed her damp hair back with his hand and said, “Ah’ll fetch the boys and take them to Ma’s.” She could tell he was making a great effort to appear unworried. “The bairns will be fine there. Ah won’t be long, love.”

  The doctor stayed overnight with Annie and the midwife, which was a small comfort. Annie could hear Jim pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Hang tradition, she wanted him with her to help her bear the agony. She knew she could be stronger with him beside her, and she insisted that he come in.

  In the early hours of the morning, Dr. Bootiman left the bedroom with Jim. Annie overheard him.

  “This is one of the most difficult births I have seen. I will have to deliver by forceps. This will be very hard on your wife but if I don’t do it, we may lose both mother and child.”

  The doctor and Jim returned to the bedroom. Through her tears, Annie saw Jim look at her helplessly and mouth, “I love you, Annie.” He wiped his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

  Annie had never known such fear. I may never see Bobby and Jack again. Had she kissed them them before Jim took them to Jane’s? She couldn’t remember. Another contraction slammed through her. I cannot take this pain any longer!

  Jim took both of Annie’s hands in a strong grip and looked deep into her eyes. “Stay strong. You’re almost done, love. You can do this!”

  Annie tried to be stoic but the pain of the forceps was so intense that she couldn’t help but scream. Just when she thought she couldn’t endure the torture any longer, she felt a massive pulling sensation, heard the mewling cries of a baby, and the doctor’s warm, relieved congratulations.

  Mrs. Clinton beamed at Annie. “You’ve been brilliant, dear. You have a healthy baby, and what a handsome boy, too. I declare if there isn’t some Viking in him.”

  Annie felt groggy as the midwife placed the baby on her chest, but it didn’t keep her from seeing what a beautiful child he was. He had white blond fuzz on his head and was perfectly formed. Amazing to think how just minutes ago she had been so afraid for this child, and for herself. She kissed his head and guided him to her breast. Jim gently stroked her hair off her brow. His face was pale and tear-streaked. His voice cracked. “Oh Annie, I thought I was going to lose you.” He leaned over to kiss Annie’s forehead and looked down at his new son.

  “Well, little man, you’ve given us all a good scare. Let me look at you.” He gently touched the top of the baby’s head as he nursed. “Ah, Annie, you’ve given us a bonnie bairn. Wait ‘til the grannies see him.”

  That evening, when Annie’s mother saw the new baby, she said he was “the spitting image” of Annie’s brother George.

  Annie looked up at Jim. “Shall we call him George, then?”

  While Annie recuperated, her mother once again moved in to care for the children and make meals for the family. Annie healed very slowly and was in constant pain for over a week. It hurt to move and she spent most of her days in bed. But by the second week she was feeling a little stronger, and ventured into the kitchen to nurse the baby in her rocking chair. The first time Jim came home from work to find her out of bed, relief washed over his face. She knew that she had battled death and won, but these last two weeks had been awful, and she knew Jim had continued to worry about her health.

  Annie loved her mother’s company, and Jim and the children enjoyed being spoiled with Norwegian meals and treats. By the fourth week after Georgie’s birth Annie was finally feeling well. Her body was healing, her baby was thriving and her house was in order, so her mother returned to her own home.

  One evening, several weeks later, when the children were asleep, Jim brought out the tattered pamphlet about New Ontario and looked seriously at Annie.

  “Annie, I know that ye aren’t keen on moving to Canada. But there we could have our own house built on our own land.” He ran his hand through his hair. “We’d have a fresh start wi’ better opportunities fo’ our sons. Can ye even imagine ownin’ one hundred and sixty acres?”

  Annie stared at her husband and smiled. He was still the handsome man she had married. She even loved that new worry line between his eyes.

  “It is my dream to own a house and land and I do want a better future for our boys, but I’ve always pictured our house where our families are – where we grew up.” She sighed. Maybe it was time she considered Jim’s dream. “If moving to Canada were the way, how could we ever save enough money to make it happen?”

  “Just think about the opportunities for us in Canada, Annie. Don’t say no yet. Think about it and dinna fash about money. We’ll manage someha and save bit by bit.”

  Months later, when the January cold had set in, Annie and the children were visiting her mother. The small house was warm and cozy and filled with the teasing odour of sweet buns hot from the oven. Bobby and Jack played on the floor with an old wooden toy horse and cart and Georgie was asleep in the bedroom. The women were drinking tea and talking about Annie’s future.

  “Jim’s still talking about a new start in Canada,” she was saying as she sipped her tea. “But it feels like it will take forever to save enough.” She was suddenly interrupted by loud pounding at the door and a panicked shout. The women rushed to answer the door together. She recognized Alfie’s friend Don from the glass factory.

  The young man was red-faced and sweating in spite of the raw weather. “Alfie’s been hurt real bad.” He gasped to catch his breath. “There was an explosion and he’s lost a lot of blood. You’ve got to come quick!”

  “Oh lord, Alfie!” Mother cried, and, not even bothering to grab her coat, followed the man back down the road to the factory.

  Annie picked up Georgie and hurried Bobby and Jack out the door, and then ran all the way to Jane and Charles’ home.

  “My brother Alfie’s been hurt at the factory!” she explained breathlessly. “Can you watch the children? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Jane took Georgie from Annie’s arms and patted his back.

  “Oh, me! Ah pray he’s not too bad. Go - take all the time ye need, hinny.”

  Annie left without saying thank you or goodbye and ran the half-mile to the factory. As she approached the brick building, she saw Alfie being carried out on a wooden door by two burly men. They carefully rested the improvised stretcher on two sawhorses in the yard. Alfie’s face was contorted in pain. His left arm was wrapped in a thick layer of bloodied towels. Annie saw her mother push through the crowd of men and tread right through the sticky trail of blood on the ground, to reach Alfie’s side.

  Annie watched her mother calmly whisper to Alfie and tenderly stroke his forehead. She began to tentatively approach but was stopped by a large hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Alfie’s supervisor, a big gruff-looking man. He was visibly shaken.

  “I’m so sorry about Alfred’s injuries. I don’t know yet what caused the explosion, but I’ll make sure the company pays for the best medical care.”

  Annie nodded woodenly at the man, and slowly walked to her brother. When she reached him, she leaned over and pressed her cheek to his. She whispered, “Don’t you dare give up, Alfie Larsen. If I could fight and survive, so can you!”

  Alfie was deathly ill for a long month. His left hand had been mangled so badly that it soon became infected. Finally the doctor pronounced that Alfie had to choose between his hand or his life. He was in no condition to make a decision so their mother tearfully agreed to the amputation. After the operation, he would have to endure several long months of healing.

  Annie�
��s mother became despondent. Several times Annie found her quietly weeping while clutching the pearls at her neck. She was barely eating and had lost weight. She was able to hide her mood when she was with Alfie, but she couldn’t keep it from Annie. Annie suspected that almost losing Alfie had brought back the pain of Pappa’s death. She resolved to bring the boys by every day, to help liven the mood and give her mother something else to focus on. Maybe having little ones around would remind her of happier times when Annie and her brothers were small, and help snap her out of her doldrums.

  After one of his visits during Alfie’s long convalescence, Don, his friend from the factory, confided to Annie. He said that management had moved Alfie off the factory property after the explosion in case he died, so they wouldn’t be taken to court. Rumour was that the factory owners were afraid of negative publicity, so to reduce the chance of a walkout or strike, Alfie was going to receive a large settlement.

  Annie was furious. “How can the factory owners get away with that, if everyone knows?” She paced up and down the front walk, her face red with anger. “Bloody hell! No amount of money will get my brother’s hand back!”

  “There could be some good in it, Annie,” said Don. “Everyone is afraid of losing jobs, and a walkout or strike would be devastating when so many are struggling from pay to pay.”

  “I’m sorry, Don. You’re right.” Annie pushed a strand of hair back and composed her face, although inside she was still fuming. “My mother and I do thank you for visiting Alfie so often. You lift his spirits.”

  “Perhaps the settlement will help him sort out what to do next,” said Don. Annie nodded but she was doubtful. How could anything good come from such a terrible accident?

  Alfie’s natural good humour slowly returned as he healed. “No limit to what I’d do to get out of work!” he joked.

  Annie rolled her eyes and groaned, but she was very thankful that he was recuperating. She was there every day visiting with her brother. With Alfie’s good humour came their mother’s, another thing for Annie to be thankful for. Knowing Alfie was on the mend, her mother was happier helping with the care of Georgie and his busy brothers. Meanwhile, Annie talked and joked with her brother for hours at a time. Their mother would regularly pop into Alfie’s room and scold Annie.

  “Let your poor brother rest!”

  “Ah Ma,” Alfie protested on one such occasion, “I’ve been resting for almost a year! I can rest more when I’m dead and gone.” He quickly apologized when he saw the flustered look of shock on their mother’s face.

  She admonished him. “You shouldn’t jest like that! We almost did lose you.”

  Annie told her brother about Jim’s dream to move to Canada, and she brought out the tattered pamphlet. Alfie thoughtfully fingered the worn paper with his good hand. He grew quiet and thoughtful. “Can I keep this for a day or two?”

  One evening months later, when Annie, Jim and the children were visiting Alfie, he handed Jim a sealed envelope. Jim looked at him, eyebrows raised.

  “Go ahead, open it.” Alfie said.

  Jim shrugged, and tore open the seal. He pulled out a thick piece of printed paper. Jim looked back at his brother-in-law in confusion. “This is a ticket fo’ ship’s passage to … Canada? Are you goin’ to Canada, Alfie? You lucky bugger!”

  Alfie laughed. “The ticket is for you, Jim. I bought it with some of my settlement money.”

  Annie sat up, alert. Jim looked astounded. “Ah canna take that, Alfie. It’s your money.”

  “I’ve been lying here doing nothing but a lot of thinking these past months,” said Alfie. “Here’s my plan. You go over first, and get set up in New Ontario. When you’ve found work and a place to live, and I’ve healed enough to travel, I’ll sail to Canada with Annie and the boys.”

  Annie felt a lump in her throat. Jim looked at her with a silent question. She slowly nodded her head, her eyes bright with tears.

  “Well, that’s a grand plan and vera generous, Alfie,” said Jim, finally. “But I’ll only accept on the terms that it is a loan, no’ a gift.”

  “Oh, fine. You’re a stubborn old Geordie!”

  Jim laughed and shook Alfie’s good hand affectionately. “Ah canna believe this! You’re a good and generous man!”

  “As for me, I’m afraid, I will not be able to join you in settling in New Ontario,” said Alfie. “Apparently you need two hands to clear land or work in the mines.” He chuckled at his own joke then grew serious again. “There are other jobs that I can do though. I already have letters of reference and a few leads for a job in Toronto.”

  Annie smiled at her brother and hugged him. “Oh, Alfie, you have been busy!”

  “Well, I’ve had plenty of time to think. I have dreams, too – and I’m ready for a new life.”

  Annie kissed her brother’s cheek. “I am so happy that you plan to travel with me and the children. I had wondered how I would manage to travel alone, if the time ever came.”

  “Don’t get all soft on me now, sis. Besides, you don’t know what I’ll be like as a travel companion,” Alfie teased.

  “Oh, Alfie, you’ve always been an annoying brother, so I’d expect nothing less from you on the voyage!” she laughed as she teased back.

  By August, after tearful goodbyes, Annie and the children were on their own and Jim was on a ship somewhere in the Atlantic. After a couple of days alone, Annie felt a red haze envelop her. She was angry that things had happened so quickly. She was angry at Alfie for buying Jim’s ticket, even for having the accident that had given him the means. She avoided Alfie and her mother for a week in case a comment slipped out. It was hard enough to stay civil around her boys. She was angry with Jim, too. Maybe Jim just wanted to escape, to have an adventure and enjoy some freedom. Maybe he didn’t love her enough to stay.

  And through it all, she was angry with herself. Bloody hell, woman! It’s your dream to own a house and Jim is working hard to make it happen. Besides, hadn’t she given her consent when Alfie handed him that ticket? Finally, she managed to calm her anger. But still, she was lonely for Jim.

  There was an agonizing three-week wait until Jim’s first letter. She read and reread it so often that she memorized every word.

  August 15, 1911

  Dearest Annie,

  I hope this letter finds you and the children well. I enjoyed the train trip to Glasgow and all went well until I boarded the ship. Let’s just say a life at sea is not for me. I’m thankful though that it only took a week to cross the Atlantic. I don’t know how your Da and brothers could work on ships for so many years!

  The good news is that I qualified for the British Bonus. That should smooth the way to get our own property. I didn’t have a chance to see much of Montreal because I had to make my connection to Toronto right away. I’ve been in Toronto for a couple of days and plan to take the train north tomorrow morning. Yesterday, I met some men who had just returned from New Ontario and they say that there are plenty of jobs with the railroad or building roads. The newspapers are filled with news about more gold deposits found up north, too.

  I hope that I’m doing the right thing for us. Well, I’m in Canada now and will work hard so that we can be together again soon. I miss you and the boys.

  Love, Jim

  She didn’t receive another letter for several weeks. Finally, Jim wrote that he had found temporary work on the railway the day he arrived in North Bay. After that job he had travelled by train further north, to Mile 225, the end of the line, and found some rough accommodation for himself, in a government camp. He described miles and miles of forest. She had difficulty imagining such a sight. She sighed and wished she was with him, wherever he was.

  God knows how long it’ll be before we’ll see each other, she thought, or even if we ever will be together as a family again. She hoped they hadn’t made the wrong decision.

  Chapter Nine

  The kitchen was cozy and warm from the oven heat despite the damp, cold wintery day outside. The table
was covered with a small mountain of clothing that Annie had been folding and sorting. She looked at the half-filled steamer trunk on the floor and felt overwhelmed by the number of chores she had yet to complete. She could hardly believe that she, Alfie and her boys would leave for Glasgow tomorrow, and go aboard a ship the following day.

  Sinking down in a chair, she reached into her apron pocket and took out Jim’s latest letter to read again.

  December 30, 1911

  Dearest Annie,

  At last! It’s time for you and the boys to join me in our new home on our own property at Mile 225! I have almost finished building a small timber home for us. It will be done by the time you arrive. Best of all, we own it! I had all the wood I needed right here on our property! You couldn’t guess how many trees we own.

  Sell all of our furniture for the best price you can get and we’ll buy or build what we need here. I have tables and benches, beds and two good wood stoves already. The cabin is comfortably warm, even on the coldest nights.

  Alfie wrote to say that your passage has already been purchased. I’m counting the days until I see you and the bairns again. It’s been so lonely without you.

  Send me a telegraph when you arrive in St. John, to let me know when your train will arrive in Toronto. I’ll head south in time to meet you at Union Station. I can barely believe that we’ll be together again so soon. I miss you.

  Love, Jim

  Annie refolded the letter and tucked it back into her pocket. Sighing, she got up to finish the packing and glanced out the window to check on her children. The boys were playing a boisterous game with sticks and a ball, shouting and giggling. She watched them for a moment. Ten-year-old Bobby was a serious, responsible boy whom she relied on heavily, especially with Jim so far away. Both Bobby and seven-year-old Jack were small boys with light brown hair and chubby cheeks. Georgie, however, was already tall for a four-year-old, and his hair was still white-blonde. He would likely tower over his brothers when he was fully grown. She recalled shamefully how she hadn’t wanted that pregnancy. Now, she couldn’t imagine her life without that precious child. He was so like his namesake, her brother.