‘Sorry mate. I was out for the count. What’s the craic?’
‘Not a lot. We’ll be ready to leave in five minutes so get some calories into you, it’s going to be a long day. Oh, and hot.’
‘What’s happening with Diana?’ I asked, wondering whether she was coming with or staying.
‘She’s coming. She doesn’t want to be here if Gippa shows up. I’ve told her our plan and she’s well up for it. I think she’s just glad of the company to be honest. Bobby has taken a shine to Leianne and is helping Diana with her.’
‘You like her, don’t you?’
‘Who?’ Darren asked with an overly straight face.
‘Who. Ha! Diana, you numpty.’
‘What makes you think that?’
It was the first time I’d seen Darren blush.
‘It’s ok mate. Your secret is safe with me.’
‘I haven’t got a clue what you’re on about. Get some chow and get yourself outside dickhead. We leave in five, no, four minutes.’ He said looking at his watch. ‘You’ve already wasted one minute talking shit.’ And with that he left.
I quickly wolfed down a cold sachet of beans and sausage, sorted my kit and was out of the door three minutes and thirty seconds later.
The heat from the early morning sun surprised me as I walked out of the door and into the carpark. It hadn’t been up long but the air was stifling. Both of the vehicles had their engines running and everyone had boarded.
I walked over to the Mastiff and climbed up into the cab. Darren gave me a dirty look for walking and not running. ‘What? I had thirty seconds to spend.’
We pulled out of the carpark and drove east for about half a mile, then swung a right down an old farm track and travelled another half mile until we came to a large farm.
‘Another fucking farm Darren?’ I asked as we pulled into its yard. ‘Shall I bring the dogs to help us clear it?’
‘They did it last night.’
‘What?’
‘I brought them last night when Andy and Josh were on watch. I spotted it from the carpark of the hotel yesterday and me and my dogs came and cleared the whole place.’
‘So, what you’re saying is, you brought MY dogs on a mission and didn’t ask me to come?’ I said genuinely hurt at both slights.
‘I’m sorry mate but yeah, I did. Come on we’ve got work to do.’
Darren told everyone the house was safe and to move inside. Then he beckoned me to follow him.
‘Listen bud, you’ve been through enough these past few weeks. I’ve done shit like this, day in, day out, for the past twenty years. You’ve been doing it for five days now and I’m not going to lie, but I’ve noticed the change in you.’
‘The change? What change?’ I knew what he was talking about. There had been a change in me but surely that was good? The fear had gone and had been replaced by something else. I didn’t have a clue what it was. But it was far better than the bladder releasing fear I used to have.
‘I’ve seen it before Ray.’
‘Oh, this must be serious if your calling me Ray.’
‘You’ve got the bloodlust mate. Otherwise known as a death wish.’
‘Don’t be daft mate. I don’t want to die.’
‘I know you don’t. You’re just not bothered if you do. That’s the problem. You’re going to start taking more and more risks and eventually...’
I stopped walking and stood thinking about this revelation for a minute.
‘I think you might be right mate. Finding her was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. I mean, what are the fucking chances? But then all the dirty looks, mind games and the drama, I think something has just snapped. I’m not looking forward to the combat at all. I think I’m looking forward to the chance of a bullet.’
‘Yeah, then what would I do mate? I don’t think I’m strong enough to do all this by myself. You balance shit out. If I lose the banter I’ll end up just the same. With a death wish of my own. The top and bottom of it is, I don’t want to lose you, mate.’
I took a gulp and looked at him.
Now I know my crying days were behind me but that was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. Not only that, it had come from Darren. The toughest, meanest motherfucker on the whole planet. I wracked my brains to find the words that would show him how much I appreciated what he’d just told me and the only thing I could think of was.
‘Gay.’
He replied with ‘Dick,’ and we walked over to the large water tower behind the barn. He knew.
We ascended a large ladder and we were soon lying down on the shallow sloped conical roof. Darren woke Bessy and we settled in. The first hour of our stakeout Darren taught me the ways of the spotter. Every sniper had one. The spotter not only provided close security for the sniper, he calculated distance to the target, wind speed and of course spotting, so when the hour was up, I had a basic understanding of my role. The hours passed slowly. Eventually Andy popped his head over the top of the ladder.
‘Hungry?’
‘Fucking starving!’ we both replied simultaneously. And then ‘Jinx’ simultaneously too. Darren and I linked pinky fingers.
‘What the fuck is wrong with you two?’ Andy asked.
‘He he! How’s everyone feeling in the farmhouse.’
‘Bored mainly. The first couple of hours were spent with everyone playing with Leianne. She’s asleep now so there’s absolutely nothing to do.’
‘Who’s watching Jenna and Donna?’ I asked.
‘Bobby is at the moment. Donna needed to go pee-pee earlier and Bobby subtly implied she needed to go too. Donna did seem to be a little put out by it but what could she do? I think they know we’re on to them.’
‘It doesn’t matter. Keeping them from contacting Gippa is all that counts.’
‘Is Diana OK?’ Darren asked.
‘Oooooo, Darren and Diana sitting in a tree,’ I said as Andy turned away to hide his smirking face.
‘Honestly Carter, I’m going to fold you like a fucking deckchair one of these days.’
‘She’s fine,’ Andy replied when he regained his composure. ‘She’s busy sorting out a uniform for herself. I told her to help herself to everything we have.’
‘Nice one. Actually Andy, I’ve a job for you all. Unload all of the supplies from the Mastiff and the Land Rover, do a detailed inventory, then reload it all back in. I want to know exactly what we have. Then make a shopping list of items we need to stock up on.’
‘Aw, you’re joking,’ Andy replied. ‘Can you feel how hot it is? It going to be a nightmare unloading all of that.’
‘Well you did say you were bored.’
‘I should have kept my bloody mouth shut,’ mumbled Andy as he descended the ladders.
‘Did he say pee-pee before?’
‘Yes, he did.’
Once Andy was gone, we ate the food he’d left and then settled back down to the stakeout. It was at this point Darren produced a little zip-lock bag.
‘What’s that for?’ I asked, knowing exactly what the answer was.
‘I’m bursting mate.’
‘There is no fucking way I’m lying next to you while you have a shit in a bag Darren. Climb down and do it behind the barn, you filthy fucking animal.’
‘What if someone sees me? They’re all unloading the Mastiff at the moment.’
‘What if they see you? What about me? I don’t want to look you in the eyes while you’re pushing one out.’
‘Just look away.’
‘I’ll still know what you’re doing. I’ll be able to smell it too. No, it’s out of the question. Give me Bessy, then climb down and go and drop the kids off behind the barn.’
Darren laughed and went away to do his business and returned after a few minutes, still giggling.
An hour later, we heard the noise of an engine in the distance.
‘That’s a hog.’
Sure enough, minutes later a Harley Davidson travelling from the east a
ppeared on the horizon.
‘Here we go,’ was all Darren said as he tucked the butt of his rifle firmly against his shoulder and lined his eye up to the sights.
The rider must have been very brave or very stupid to be driving around such a loud bike. The big American chopper could be heard for miles.
‘What do you think Darren?’
‘I don’t know. Him slowing down and going to the hotel tells us nothing. He could just be another survivor looking for shelter. The only thing that could tell us if he’s a baddy, is if he takes his helmet off and we recognise him as one of Gippa’s men. But then again, the only men of Gippa’s we’ve seen that aren’t dead are Gippa himself, the Cooper twins, Stag, Damien and the gate guards that escaped with him. And to be fair I don’t think I’d recognise the guards if they were sitting right next to me.’
‘True, I wasn’t paying that much attention to them either.’
As the rider got closer, Darren started checking off the people it couldn’t be by the rider’s build.
‘Well, he’s not bulky enough to be Gippa and not tall enough to the Cooper boys. Not skinny enough to be Damien.
‘What about Stag?’ I asked.
‘It’s definitely not him. He’d need fucking stabilisers to ride a moped.’
Eventually, the rider approached the hotel and thankfully hardly gave it a second glance. He did, however, carry on over the A696 and continue west on the road to Bellingham.
‘Hmm,’ was all Darren could say and he shrugged his shoulders to a question I was thinking but never came out of my mouth.
It was now after one pm and we’d been there for a total of eight hours.
We talked about everything that day. Well I did. Darren just listened. Before long the question of Diana came up again.
‘Carter, just leave it mate.’
‘But she’s perfect for you. You like her. I know you do.’
‘Yeah, I’ll admit it. I like her but...’
‘But what? Just tell me.’
And that’s when I found out about Darren’s wife of fifteen years. Her name was Alex. Unfortunately, they had separated when Darren had left his unit and became a civvy.
Darren’s job had seen him completing extended tours throughout his career and the majority of his leave over the years was forever being cut short. Alex had always put up with this. She knew what she’d signed up for, the day she said ‘I do’ to a soldier. It made the little time they spent together all the more special.
The thing was, they’d never really lived with each other for more than a month. So when Darren hung up his uniform and came home the relationship suffered for a couple of reasons. He missed his job and his routine and found it hard to adjust to civilian life. Added to this was the acute PTSD which, of course, led to a deep depression. But Darren being Darren and the machoism that came with being SAS, he’d kept it all bottled up. Two months later she left him, unable to cope with his mood swings and angry outbursts.
A devastated Darren went back home to the farm and didn’t call Alex again until six months later, on the morning the dead arrived.
He’d called to warn her and to see if she was safe, as soon as he’d seen the news, but instead of hearing her familiar voice on the other end of the line, he heard the voice of a man instead. The shock of this compelled Darren to hang up the phone. By the time he’d pulled himself together, the lines were down. He toiled with himself for days afterwards about whether or not he should go and keep her safe, and experienced the exact same emotions and thoughts as I had about Jenna and her new flame. He decided in the end not to travel the one hundred plus miles to Carlisle to check on her. Mostly for fear of finding her surviving with another man; that, and it would have been suicide to try and get to her in a city he wasn’t at all familiar with.
Now I understood why Darren couldn’t commit to his feelings for Diana. He was still in love with Alex. Every time he toyed with the idea of moving on, guilt and shame clawed and pulled at his heart. He knew deep down the chances of Alex being alive were slim to say the least, but with me finding Jenna the fire of hope in his heart had been stoked.
‘I truly am gutted for you Darren,’ I said as I laid a hand on his arm.
‘Thanks mate. I appreciate it.’
We spent the next hour in virtual silence. Both of us battling our own personal demons.
‘It’s just us by the way,’ Darren stated from out of the blue.
‘What is?’ I asked.
‘The UK. The rest of the world is zombie free. Spud told me.’
‘And you wait until now to tell me?’ I asked, perplexed as to why he’d waited so long to relinquish the nugget of information he’d received from his boyfriend.
‘You never asked. And I needed time to think about it all mate. Sorry.’
‘What else did he say?’
Darren spent the next half an hour briefing me about the intel he’d learned from Spud.
Spud and his subordinates had been stationed at Otterburn when they got the call telling them to kit up and make their way to Alnwick. By the time they’d arrived the virus had already taken hold. They fought their way through the town collecting survivors on the way and made it to the castle. Spud was in contact with Otterburn but the base went dark two days later.
‘Did he say anything about what’s going on? What the fuck started this?’
‘Terrorists apparently. They released the pathogen onto flights coming into the UK and US. The yanks had a few hours to come up with a plan when they saw what was happening here in Blighty. Before they closed the airports they blew the shit out of all incoming international flights. A bit extreme but sounds like it worked.’
‘Fuck. So it’s just us? The rest of the world is OK?’
‘Yep, hence the quarantine zone out at sea. They ain’t letting anyone off this island mate and they ain’t sending any help either. Too risky.’
‘You’re fucking joking!! They’re gonna just let us die?’
‘Yeah, I’m afraid so. I’ve been thinking about it and it’s the only way mate. If this thing spreads, the whole world is fucked. It’s what I would do. Watch from a distance and let the virus burn itself out.’
When I looked at it that way, I agreed. The virus could be airborne for all we knew. There was a good chance we could all be infected by it and not even know. The world had abandoned us, with good cause.
‘There’s some good news though.’
‘What?’ I asked.
‘Before Otterburn went dark there was a rumour that a girl had been found with immunity to the plague. She was bitten and never turned.’
‘How the fuck does that help us?’
‘It doesn’t, but word was she’d been whisked down to the CDC in Wales for tests.’
‘The Centre for Disease Control from World War Z? Is that place real?’
‘Whey aye, it’s real. They could be sorting a vaccine as we speak.’
‘Aye, but it’s no help to us. It could be years before they fucking get here with it! That was your good news? Cheers,’ I said sarcastically.
‘Carter, it’s hope mate. Hope can get you through any situation. Even the tiniest bit.’
We sat again in silence processing the implications of this new news.
It was still a couple of hours till sundown and after the sixteen-hour stakeout the only life we’d seen was the guy on the Harley. We had seen numerous dead walking around the area, mainly walking the roads. Some had been trapped in the endless fields that surrounded our vista and would just stand there, in total stasis, waiting for a noise or unsuspecting survivor to come along and wake them from their hibernation.
‘Goose, Maverick, come in, over.’
‘Send it Maverick, over.’
‘On me, over.’
A couple of minutes later Andy popped his head up again. ‘I don’t think anyone is going to turn up this late in the day. We need relieving. Go back down and bring Josh up and keep watch till it’s dark.’
‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Couldn’t you have radioed that?’
‘Loose lips, sink ships buddy. Stop your bitching, go for a pee-pee and do as you’re told, wench.’
Darren received the finger as Andy reluctantly climbed down the very long ladder.
Ten minutes later we were in the farmhouse. I was surprised, to say the least, by its lavish and modern interior. We both sat down at the large kitchen table and were promptly served food by Sarah.
‘Long day boys?’ she said.
‘You could say that,’ I replied and buried my face in the food before me.
‘You’ve both caught the sun today; get plenty of fluids into you. I think I saw some aftersun in a cabinet upstairs.’ And off she went.
‘What do you think is up with the weather, by the way?’
Darren pondered for a moment. ‘Well Carter, I think, it’s similar to when a smoker packs the cigs in. Within days, their lungs clear by about seventy-five percent. I think Mother Earth is doing the same. With no pollutants being flooded into the atmosphere she’s quickly healing herself. Summer is summer again.’
‘Well that’s good news.’
‘Is it though? It might mean winter will be winter again.’
‘Oh fuck.’
‘Don’t worry, if the bothy is as good as you say it is, we’ll be fine. Once we establish ourselves there, we’ll hit every shop and house in the vicinity for supplies. Also, very soon, the crops in the area will be ready for harvest. Potatoes, turnips, carrots, wheat. Next year, we’ll need to seriously think about our long-term plans. The food that’s left in the world has a limited shelf life, so we’re going to have to think about growing our own. Don’t worry though. I was a farmer before I was a ruthless un-killable, badass, super soldier.’
At that moment the enormity of our future hit home. No more going to the supermarket for the weekly shop. A life of hard work and long days in the fields would be the new norm. Not only that, we’d have to be watching over our shoulders while we did it. And not just because of the deedaz, because of our fellow human beings. Greed and desperation could potentially bring us back to the age of the border reivers and peel towers to defend ourselves, our belongings and supplies.
It's Grim Up North (Book 3): The Journey Page 11