‘That’s if Jenna doesn’t radio her fucking boyfriend in the meantime. We might not even make it to the fucking bothy.’
Darren had had a quick pow-wow with Diana about the day’s events when we were walking back from the tower. Jenna and Donna had been acting suspiciously again. Sharing knowing looks and nods of the head. Impressively, Diana and Bobby had never given the conniving duo a moment to themselves.
Eventually, Sarah returned with the aftersun and quickly went into overbearing nurse mode, smothering lashings of coconut-smelling lotion on any exposed skin she could find, whether it was sun-kissed or not.
It was dark outside when we escaped from the cream queen, went into the main living room and found the rest of our group. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. Bobby sat next to the main door, watching. A little over zealously if I was being honest. Andy and Josh had returned from their watch and were wolfing down some food before continuing guard duty from the first floor. Sitting on the floor around a coffee table, Davy and Jason, were trying their best to play cards but finding it hard because of the noticeable lack of chat in the room. The dogs lay lazily on a rug in front of the fireplace.
Jenna and Donna sat on a sofa in the corner with faces of scorn. Heads down slightly but eyes up. The looked like trapped animals, ready to strike out.
After an uncomfortable couple of minutes Jenna stood up and went to walk out of the room. Bobby stood up too.
‘Really Bobby?’
‘What?’
‘You’ve been following me round like a lost fucking puppy all day!’
‘No, I haven’t.’
Jenna turned her attention to me. ‘Is this how it’s going to be Ray? Have me followed every second of the day? What is it you think I’m going to do? Steel your stuff? As if I would. Look what happened to the priest when he tried. You and your boyfriend vaporised fifteen people. Murdered them to keep your precious supplies.’
By this time Sarah and Diana had entered the room.
‘What’s going on?’ Sarah asked.
‘Are you in on this too?’ Jenna asked Sarah. ‘This fucking surveillance of me. Watching my every move.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about Jenna. I’ve been with you from the start sweetie.’
‘Well at least when we were back at Amble, we knew where we stood.’
‘Don’t say that Jenna,’ Sarah implored.
Darren stood and called for calm. ‘OK guys, this is getting out of hand. We all need to calm down.’
‘Let me see your bag!’
Everyone looked at me as I stood and said it again. ‘Let me see your bag!’
‘Wha… See my bag? Wh… wh… what for?’
‘Let me see you’re fucking bag!’ I shouted. At hearing this Rocket and Rosie quickly ran to my side.
‘No, you’re not seeing my fucking bag you psychopath. You’re not the fucking boss of me anymore Ray. You fucked that up, remember?’ she screamed. ‘Who the fuck do you think you are? Thinking you’re fucking Rambo. Fuck this shit. I’m leaving.’
‘Not before I see your bag you’re not.’
‘Fuck you Ray and fuck your little gang,’ Jenna picked up one of the ready-made bugout bags next to the door. ‘Straight swap. I’m taking this and you can keep the fucking Dora bag and whatever you find in it. It’s upstairs.’
Jenna walked out of the front door. Donna ran after her.
‘I fucking knew it!’ I screamed and kicked the TV over.
Darren moved to open the front door to bring them back.
‘Fucking let her go Darren. Let her run back to him.’
‘She knows where we’re going Carter.’
‘She knows nothing, she knows about the bothy. There are hundreds of them. At least ten in this twenty-mile radius. Siri and Alexa are dead, remember!’
‘Carter, you need to calm down and think about this.’
‘Calm down? Calm down? The love of my life has just stabbed me in the back! She knows it’s a death sentence when that prick finds us and you want me to calm down? How would you feel if it was Alex, Darren.’
‘Don’t even fucking go there, son!’ Darren said while giving a fleeting glance in Diana’s direction.
‘Yeah, exactly. So don’t fucking give me that calm down shit.’
I left the living room and bounded up the stairs. I found the bag lying on the bed in the master bedroom.
I slowly walked over to it. My heart gripped in a vice for fear because of what I knew to be in there.
As I reached for the bag Darren entered the room behind me.
‘You sure you want to do this?’
‘It’s a bit late now isn’t it?’
‘Want me to do it?’
I shook my head and picked up the Dora bag. So many happy memories flooded my senses as I picked it up. The long walks in the countryside, the sneaky chocolate bars she used to hide in it and surprise me with at the top of a mountain or after an epic hike. I hesitated as I reached for the zipper.
‘Fuck it,’ I said to myself and opened the bag.
I stood there in shock, looking at the contents.
Darren stood next to me and gently removed the bag from my hands. He reached in and brought it out.
I’d been right all along. In his right hand was a military grade walkie-talkie.
I had been hoping I was wrong. That this had all been my paranoid mind working its dark magic again. But it wasn’t. My legs gave way and I hit the deck. Then I cried. Absolutely and utterly broken hearted.
Darren quickly shut the door of the bedroom to shield the rest of the group from my devastation and offer me some privacy. The next thing I knew he had helped me up from the floor and hugged me. I sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder.
‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through mate,’ he said as he patted my back. ‘But it’s not your fault. I’m sorry to have to say this but we really need to get going. We can’t stay here anymore. For all we know, she may have a pre-planned rendezvous point arranged with him.’
Hearing this only made me worse. Darren hugged me tighter.
After a minute of me crying and Darren rubbing my back I had an epiphany. This was no time to have a nervous breakdown. We had other people that depended on us. People I loved and, I knew, loved me back. Whatever I was feeling paled in comparison to the safety my new family deserved. My heart would mend in time. My family, however, would not, if Gippa had his way.
I pulled away from Darren, wiping my eyes and sniffing up snot, and said as I looked him in the eye, ‘Gay.’
‘That’s better,’ he replied.
I opened the door and was greeted in the hallway by the rest of our group. Bobby was the first one to run and hug me, then Andy joined in, then Josh, followed by Sarah, Davy, Jason, Diana, Leianne and last but not least Rocket and Rosie.
I’ll never forget that moment as long as I live. I was surrounded by people I’d really only just met. Each one of them taking a piece of my pain and sharing it amongst them and replacing the pain with their care and compassion. I could have stayed there, in that cocoon, forever. The hugathon lasted until Leianne grabbed my nose in a vice-like grip that garnered from me an ‘Oo ye bugger,’ which relieved the tension and got everyone laughing. I thanked everyone and we all went downstairs to pack.
Chapter Eleven
Twenty minutes later our convoy was driving along the road to Bellingham and away from wherever Jenna was. Fuck her. She’d made her choice. She was probably back in his arms by now. The thought of which doused the fire of anger that burned in my veins and replaced it with a sudden wave of absolute heartrending sadness. How could I have been so blind? I should have realised something was up by the way she’d been with me. The one good thing was we’d ousted her before Gippa had had the chance to catch up with us.
Darren and Andy both wore the NVGs and I used the magic scope to navigate. The road we were on was remote, with only a few houses dotted along the way. Before long the B road we we
re on came to a single-lane junction.
‘Go down there,’ I told Darren.
‘Carter that’s a single-track lane. We go down there and it’s a dead end there’ll be nowhere to turn around.’
I knew this route well. It was a little-known shortcut that led to the A68, the last major A road we’d have to cross before arriving in Bellingham. Very rarely used, it would be an ideal place to park up along, so Darren and I could go and scout Bellingham.
We drove slowly along the road, finally coming to a signpost pointing left, that said ‘Sweethope Lough’.
‘Even better,’ I said. ‘Pull in here mate.’
Sweethope Lough was a fly fisherman’s paradise. Secluded and well stocked. With a small visitor centre and boat shed it would be the perfect place to hide the Mastiff for a few hours.
As we pulled up Darren radioed for Andy to jump in with us.
‘OK, Carter and I are going to hike to Bellingham and recce the place to see if it’s safe for us to pass through. This is the last obstacle before the bothy. After this, we’re home free. Andy, sit tight and keep a swivel on. It’s a fifteen-mile round trip so a couple hours there, an hour to look around, then a couple of hours back. Maybe a little less if we find suitable transport. If we’re not back by noon, leave the Land Rover and take the Mastiff back to Alnwick. I’ve updated Spud about what’s happening, so he’ll be watching out for you.’
We said our goodbyes and exited the vehicle. I noticed that Darren got a lingering hug from Diana but didn’t say anything about it. I just smiled. I was happy for him.
‘Come dogs,’ I said as I climbed down. They would be essential if we were to make it to Bellingham unscathed.
We set off across the dark Northumbrian landscape on a crow’s bearing for Bellingham. The going was slow at first but we soon got into a rhythm and picked up the pace. Stopping every so often to have a look at the dogs for signs they sensed anything, and to scope out the area for dead and human alike.
‘You OK?’ Darren asked as he scoped the surrounding area.
‘I don’t know. I haven’t really had time to think about it all, to be honest mate. I just feel numb. Like I’ve lost a piece of myself. Two days ago I thought she was dead. Then I found her alive. The elation I felt, then the pain of her not wanting anything to do with me and now this. It’s just too much for me to take in.’
‘Listen mate, there’s nothing you can do about any of it. I’m a firm believer in what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now but I want you to know, I’m here, to go through this shit show with you. Every step of the way. Focus on the here and now and let’s get our family to the bothy safe and sound.’
He laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed as I turned and continued our journey without saying a word. I really didn’t have anything to say to him. Nothing anyone could say would make what I was feeling subside.
Two hours into the hike the dogs stopped and turned, looking into the distance behind us. We held our breath, straining to hear what the noise was that they had heard. Suddenly, we could hear it too and looked at each other incredulously. The sound grew louder and before long the source of the familiar, unmistakable sound could be seen.
It was the fucking Mastiff!!
Darren and I looked at each other, then sprinted for higher ground.
‘What the fuck is Andy doing?’ I asked breathlessly as we ran towards the summit of the hill.
‘I don’t think it’s Andy mate.’
When we reached the summit, Darren took the magic scope out of my ruck and looked through it. After what felt like a lifetime he lowered the scope. His face, even in the moonlight, looked ashen.
‘What?’ I said as I went to take the monocular from him.
‘Listen Carter, I don’t think you should look,’ he said as he pulled the scope away from my grasp.
‘What the fuck are you talking about? Give me the scope.’
‘You need to sit down mate.’
‘It’s her isn’t it. She’s fucking sold us out to Gippa. That bitch is down there now sitting next to her fucking “husband” in our Mastiff. Just give me the fucking scope Darren. I need to see this with my own eyes.’
‘It’s not what you thin...’
Before he finished his sentence, I swiped the scope from his hand and looked through it.
At first, I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing. It just didn’t compute. Before long the enormity of it all crashed over me like a tsunami. My whole world came crashing down. I thought I’d felt bad hours before when I’d found the radio in Jenna’s bag, but this was a thousand times worse.
The road below us did indeed have the Mastiff tearing along it. Behind it was the Land Rover. Behind that were two pickup trucks. The first one had five people tied up and gagged in its flatbed. If that wasn’t bad enough, what I saw next absolutely blew my world apart. I steadied my hand and concentrated the scope on the driver of the Mastiff. His weasely fucking face filled the viewfinder. It was Stag!
Sitting next to him in the passenger seat, head back, laughing and clapping her hands was Sarah.
I couldn’t believe it. Fucking Sarah? It had been her all along!
Jenna had been innocent! But the radio? The pieces started falling into place like a jigsaw.
Fucking Sarah had planted it there, when she’d gone to get the aftersun. She’d obviously came back and heard me talking to Darren about Jenna and my suspicions about the radio. She’d realised she was about to be rumbled, went back upstairs and did the deed.
We’d been well and truly played. Not only that, I’d let Jenna leave to face this terrible world alone. A world she wouldn’t survive in with no weapons or any knowledge of survival. I’d practically condemned her. But there was still a chance. A chance that we could find her. A chance for me to apologise. A chance to fix things. A chance for us.
It was at this point, while I was daydreaming what if’s, that I noticed something tied to the front of the Mastiff.
It was a body. A naked female body. Her alabaster skin glowing in the moonlight. Her head hanging limply, lolling from side to side with the movement of the huge vehicle. A deep vertical wound torn into her torso, belly button to neck.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and pried my gaze from the terrible sight before me and looked at Darren. I could see the pain and anguish on his face through the darkness.
‘I’m sorry mate,’ he said with heartrending sadness in his voice.
‘No.... no no no no no!’ I said gradually getting louder.
I turned back to the scope and zoomed in on the corpse.
It was her. He’d killed her. Jenna was dead. Gutted and tied, spread eagled, to the front of the Mastiff. Her thin, lifeless body torn apart.
I’d done this. This was my fault. I’d driven her away with my poisoned, twisted, paranoid fucking mind. Forced her away from the safety of our group and into the murderous grasp of fucking Gippa.
The darkness enveloped me.
I placed my hand on my pistol, clicked off the safety, drew it from my holster, placed it against my temple and pulled the trigger.
To be continued...
It's Grim Up North (Book 3): The Journey Page 12