Color-Blind

by Daya Daniels

  “This is insane, Brooke! I didn’t start this!”

  “Yes, you did.” She said firmly.

  I scrambled to get up again, feeling exhausted and fucking enraged.

  “Vi stop.” She whispered, attempting to calm me as I panted and heaved for breath while cradled in her arms.

  “Just leave Kyle, please.” She said sternly.

  I sensed Kyle watching us and his heavy breaths filled the quiet air. He set off out of the room and down the stairs, still mumbling to himself.

  Brooke and I remained on the floor. She pulled me into a hug. “Stop.” She whispered, caressing my hair.

  I broke down sobbing.

  “You have to stop doing this, Vi.”

  I wiped my face that was covered in tears with my hand, smearing paint all over it in the process. We rocked together on the floor for what felt like an eternity.

  “We found a new gallery space on Davis Street.” She chirped.

  “Is it nice?”

  “Yeah, it’s two floors. It’s kind of a loft space just like this.”

  “It sounds nice.”

  “It is, Vi.”

  “Thank you, Brooke. I know I don’t say it often but thank you. I need you.”

  She brought me against her as I sobbed. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry about Kyle, too.”

  “Vi, you two are always at it.” She sighed. “Kyle will cool off and then you’ll be both be friends again.”

  Violet

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” Brooke questioned.

  I didn’t wear makeup. It was just too tricky to mess with. I’d usually just keep my skin bare and put on some clear lip gloss. It was a fresh look that didn’t require a lot of fuss.

  “You look good but not too sexy.” She complimented, fiddling with the sleeve of my sweater.

  I hesitated to ask the next question but I still did. “Did Kyle offer to pick me up?”

  “Not. Exactly.”

  “Actually, I think I’ll have a ride back.” I said remembering what Elijah had last told me.

  She groaned. “I don’t know, Vi.”

  “Please, I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, I’ll drop you there. Please do not pull a disappearing act like you did a few days ago. You had us all worried sick.”

  “I won’t. I don’t want to get there until around ten o’clock.”

  “Okay.”

  Adventure Galley were playing tonight at Rontom’s. The band had been around for a few years. They combined punk rock with synthesizer, keyboard and other indie characteristics and were popular on the Portland music scene.

  What if Elijah doesn’t show up?

  I huffed and adjusted my skirt, pulling it downwards. I never wore panties. They were just too troublesome. If Elijah wanted to, I decided I was going to let him fuck me tonight.

  Violet

  I shouldered through the crowds quickly with the help of Marty. I decided to forego the vodka tonics tonight, as I promised Brooke. I didn’t want to let her down again. I didn’t know why suddenly I cared so much about that.

  “Out here, Violet? Are you sure?” Ana the bartender asked, pushing the metal door open that made a cryptic whine as she did it.

  “Yes, here. I’m meeting someone.” I explained feeling the cool night air touch my face.

  “Griffon?” Ana hesitantly asked.

  “Elijah.” I said.

  “Okay.” She whispered. “You know just to be on the safe side, I’ll come and check on you in a few minutes.”

  The door shut. I slumped against the wall, listening to the distant sound of the traffic and ambulance sirens moving around the city. The sound of something moving nearby caught my attention. The footsteps grew closer. I stiffened and awaited the deep voice I’d missed so much in the last few days.

  “I’m certain you know I’m here.”

  I nodded.

  “You look nervous.”

  I smiled. “Nope, not nervous. I’m just surprised you came, I guess.”

  Elijah huffed. “I’m always here. I told you.

  “This is a very dangerous what you’re doing. I’m a strange man.”

  “I’ve met you before remember and you’re not dangerous. I don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

  He didn’t respond and soon the band inside started to perform becoming background noise to our ear-splitting silence.

  “Why won’t you say something about me being blind?”

  “Like what?”

  The watery sound of him sipping liquid filled my ears as it slushed back into the bottom of his bottle, when he drew it away from his mouth.

  “I don’t know, something. People always say something about it.”

  “Something.”

  I blew out a breath, not appreciating his dry humor.

  “No vodka tonics tonight?”

  I twisted in his direction. “No.”

  “Was that your mother the other night?”

  I laughed. “No, definitely not.” I paused. “It was my friend, Brooke. She lives in the apartment that sort of adjoins mine.”

  “Brooke didn’t look too happy when I dropped you off. She looked pissed off.”

  I fiddled with a lock of my hair. “She was.”

  He shifted and then the sound of something heavy scraping against the ground caught my attention.

  “It’s dark where we are standing.”

  “Yes, how can you tell if you can’t see?”

  “I can’t see but I can sense light and darkness.”

  “Oh.” He whispered. “Do you want to sit?”

  “Sure.”

  He grabbed my hand encouraging me to move closer. I took in his distinct scent when he took a seat, pulling me with him to sit in his lap.

  “Not what you expected?”

  I chuckled. “No.”

  This was comfortable. I placed my hand on his left leg which was big and solid underneath my palm. I dragged my fingers along the fabric of his jeans and squeezed a little causing the muscles in his thigh to tense, right before he took another swig of the liquid.

  “Do you want some?” He asked putting the bottle near my mouth, allowing me to smell the beer.

  “Just a little.” I said taking a sip.

  I sank into the feeling of being in the comforting hold of his warm body and the cool breeze that skated over my skin every now and again. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest beneath his open jacket. My breathing hitched and I swallowed hard, accepting that this stranger made me feel unsettled. I didn’t get nervous.

  “I make you nervous.” He said in his deep voice that vibrated through me.

  I remained silent, feeling his gaze on my face. I lifted a hand up to pushing my fingers into his hair. He allowed me for a moment and then he clutched placing it back down slowly to my side.

  “I just wanted to feel your hair.”

  With a grunt, he let go and my fingers began the slow trail up his neck, feeling the strands again that were medium length and hung over his ears and around his neck.

  “I need a haircut.”

  “No, it’s nice. What color is it?” I asked.

  “Black.”

  “What color are your eyes?”

  “They’re blue.” He answered, seeming unfazed by my silly questions.

  “You sound handsome.”

  He laughed. “I don’t know, maybe I used to be.”

  “And your age?”

  “I’m thirty-six.”

  “How tall are you?”

  “Six foot five.”

  It explained the direction of the echo of his voice when he stood near me. I leaned in closer to his face. His soft, warm breaths puffed against my cheeks. Grazing my nose against his a few times, I allowed my chin to drag against the stubble around his mouth. Slowly, I traced my fingers over his brows, then his jaw and then over his soft lips.

  “I’m sorry.” I said, apologizing for my curiosity.
<
br />   “It’s okay.”

  “You smell really good.” I whispered, wrapping my hands around his neck.

  “We came here to listen to music Violet, didn’t we?”

  “Yes.” I murmured, wanting to kiss him.

  I pressed my lips to his softly and his lips parted. I took it as invitation and slipped my tongue into his mouth languidly, savoring the taste of beer and minty mouthwash that lingered on his tongue.

  “You like to tease, don’t you?” He asked between my kisses.

  He palmed my face and kissed me again, breathing heavily. It was a deep kiss, that consumed all my oxygen and took control of my tongue, pushing it into submission. The movement stunned me and fascinated me all at the same time. Whenever I kissed a man, it was experimental. Allowing me to explore just how much I could push. How much control he’d give me. It always told me how badly he wanted to fuck me.

  I moaned against his lips each time his tongue delved into my mouth. This man was a good kisser and the way his hand snaked up the line of my back when he did it only made me more wet. I dragged my fingers through his hair cupping his cheek, falling into that kiss. I was breathless and frantic, feeling my insides warm between the sensation of the kiss and his hands on me. They weren’t grabby or desperate like I thought they might be. His touch was purposeful and controlled. He knew where to touch me and how. His touch was destroying me. This man was the devil!

  He pulled away abruptly, leaving me gasping and hot.

  “Why’d you stop?”

  “Because we came here to listen to music.”

  He removed my hand from between my legs, that I hadn’t realized I’d put there during the fully-clothed fuck I felt like we’d just had.

  “Let me guess, no panties?”

  “No.” I said. “I thought maybe you wanted to -.”

  “Fuck?” He snapped. “Like you did with that guy right out here a few nights ago?

  “You barely know me, Violet. If I wanted a whore, I’d go and pay one.”

  I shot up to my feet, wriggling out of his grip. “Fuck you.” I barked with watery eyes.

  “Fuck you? Believe me Violet if I fuck you, it won’t go down like that nonsense I watched the other night.”

  He did watch.

  “You’ve been spending too much time with boys.”

  He yanked me back down into his lap. Normally, I would’ve protested but I didn’t. I sat there and seethed, desperately willing my tears to stay in my eyes.

  “Allow me to treat you better, Violet. Allow yourself to be treated better.”

  His words stung. I slouched in his lap, running my hand over my forearms. I was angry. So angry that I didn’t know what to do with myself. My heart pounded in my hot ears. I shifted to stand again, eventually straightening to my feet.

  “You’re going to leave now because you can’t have your way?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be.” He said nonchalantly. “I can drop you home.”

  I remained standing but I didn’t move when his fingers curled my forearm and moved to caress the inside of my wrist. His touch was disarming. It was like a weapon of mass destruction, here to obliterate me and turn me into dust.

  “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered, yanking me back down in his lap. “Come here.”

  I snuggled into his chest, feeling his warmth that spread throughout me. He wrapped his strong arms around my middle holding me close. This was intimate...It should’ve been uncomfortable. But instead, it felt reassuring, not invasive like it usually did with all the other men I knew.

  “You’re very lovely, Violet.” He whispered, pressing his nose into the strands of my hair. “But I guess you knew that already.”

  I smiled, right before he tapped the end of my nose with his finger, making me giggle.

  “The next time I see you, I want you have panties on. Promise me that.”

  “What makes you think there’ll be a next time?”

  “I have a hunch I’ll see you again.”.

  “Are you not interested me in me...in that way?”

  He inhaled. “Is that what you are used to, Violet?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, I don’t want to fuck you.” He breathed out. “I just wanted to talk you know, have a friendly conversation.”

  “Why did you kiss me then?”

  “I didn’t kiss you. You kissed me.” He chuckled and for a second, I imagined myself punching him right in the stomach.

  “We should get out of here. Are you hungry? I know a great place that does fish tacos this time of night.” He said.

  “Okay.”

  He stood. His hand clutched mine and I was fixated on the feeling of how large and warm it was nearly completely swallowing my own.

  “Where are we going?” I asked. “I don’t want to go home yet?”

  He chuckled. “I want to take you to one of my favorite spots to get something to eat.”

  Elijah

  The Alphabet District was a vibrant place at night in Portland but now, the area was fairly empty with most people enjoying the last few hours that the bars would be open. I held Violet’s hand as we exited the truck and walked across the street.

  “Griffon.” Danny greeted when I stood to the window of the food truck he’d been running for the last five years. Whenever I came into the city, this is where I always ate before leaving.

  “It’s been a while.” He laughed, shaking my hand.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Craning his neck to look around me, he gave Violet a once over as she sat at a table a few feet away.

  “Who’s the lovely lady?”

  “A friend of mine.”

  He quickly put our order together, making small talk. I grabbed everything and headed back to the table where Violet sat patiently, moving her head around almost imperceptibly, taking in the sounds around her. Curiously, she ran her hand softly over the rough surface of the stone table.

  “Fish tacos.” I announced, when I settled in next to her, turning to face her.

  I placed the food in front of us, peeling all the waxed paper away.

  “I can do it.” She said extending her hand for the food, while annoyance painted her pretty features.

  I chuckled, realizing I was quickly becoming accustomed to her short temper. She unwrapped a taco and took a small nervous bite, before taking a real one. I ate my food with gusto watching her.

  “This is good.” She said softly.

  “I’m glad you like it. These are the best fish tacos around here.”

  Pearl Jam’s Daughter sounded from a speaker set up nearby where we were eating. Violet hummed along to the song that she clearly knew. I smiled, taking in the sight of her long lashes as they brushed her cheeks. She placed her food down and still completely and reached up cupping my jaw.

  I stiffened for a moment mid-chew and stared at her.

  Her fingers then slid into my hair and then grazed the fabric of the black hoodie I was wearing. I could see the questions forming on her lips but she was slow to speak.

  “It’s more comfortable for me to wear.” I said softly.

  “Oh.” She smiled, then continued to eat.

  Unwrapping my third fish taco, I chewed into it. “Where is your mother?” I asked.

  Her brows cinched and her head dropped to the table. Her eyes momentarily watered but she shook it away quickly. “I-I don’t like to talk about her.”

  “Okay, I’m sorry.”

  We sat peacefully eating and enjoying the cool night air around us in silence for a little while.

  “I’ve never met her.” She whispered out of nowhere.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She laughed. “Don’t be. I’m better off without her.”

  “How so?”

  She lifted a shoulder and took a piece of the fish between her index and middle finger. “She didn’t want me.”

  I froze mid-chew and picked through the bones of h
er statement.

  “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” She laughed. “I don’t really talk about it.”

  “It’s cool.”

  “She left me in the hospital when I was a baby.” She whispered.

  Fuck.

  I placed a hand over her hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

  She giggled. It was girlish and sincere, laced a little with embarrassment and the vulnerability that I knew she hated as much as she probably hated me for bringing her mother up.

  I wouldn’t lie. I was curious. I was always curious. Violet clearly had attachment and abandonment issues. She literally finger-fucked herself nearly the entire time we kissed. She was hyper-sexual only I didn’t know why.

  I was fascinated that this adorable woman with hazel eyes and mahogany hair could do something so intimate with me, but she couldn’t answer personal questions about herself. She would rather fuck than talk. She’d rather fuck than kiss. She’d rather fuck than sit and eat a meal with me and tell me a little bit about herself. This woman was as guarded as the U.S Mint.

  “You have really amazing eyes.” I complimented.

  She smiled. “I’ve been told but thank you. They’re hazel they tell me.”

  “It’s a rare eye color.”

  Her lips pressed together. “That’s something else they tell me.”

  I huffed enjoying my taco.

  “Do you date often?” She asked.

  “Naaa, not at all.”

  “Oh.”

  “First outing with a blind girl?”

  “I suppose it is, yes.”

  She raked her fingers through her hair, shifting her eyes in the direction of the sound of distant chatter coming from a group of people that were drinking and laughing.

  “This might be a stupid question but are the rest of your senses like your hearing exceptionally better than say mine.”

  She laughed. “They’re not better. It’s just that I’m more in tune with my other senses. That’s all.”

  I bobbed my head. “Interesting.”

  “So, I know you’re tall because of the echo of your voice when you speak.” She lifted her hand to her head. “Since it’s just above my head all the time.

  “I know that you’re left handed because of where much of the sound comes from when you rustle the paper when you eat.”