by Allie Ritch
She prayed he would. Every night, she turned on her little toy bear and let him settle down to sleep on her pillow just so she could hear him say, “I love you.” It was nice to say it back too.
“Spri?” Guide Jye spoke softly.
Her eyes flew open, and she realized with some embarrassment that she hadn’t heard the final chime ending the meditation. The rest of the attendees were filing out, leaving only a few stragglers in their wake. She was the only one still seated.
“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Lost in thought,” he asked, “or just feeling lost in general?”
“Both.” She returned a rueful smile.
Offering a hand to help her up, Jye led her back to one of the private meeting rooms so they wouldn’t be disturbed. Today she needed his quiet calm and his wisdom more than ever.
“Things have turned out badly between me and Whitt.” The words burst from her as soon as they were seated. “I used the Sex Ed class I’ve been taking as a way to explain Litting lovemaking and what it means. He got this look on his face like he’d just had a brush with death, and then he ran out.”
Jye’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “My, that is a strong reaction. Many people fear commitment, though. I’m sure he just needs time to think things through.”
She released a loud sigh. “That’s what I thought, but it’s been three days now. He won’t answer any of my calls.”
Although his expression remained serene, his tone turned dry. “Three whole days?”
Spri opened her mouth, closed it, and frowned. When he said it like that, it did sound unreasonable. Usually she was a far more patient person, but Whitt made her want everything—all of him—at once.
“You think I should wait for him?”
“Is he worth waiting for?” the older Litting asked.
“Yes.” Spri didn’t even have to think about it.
Whitt had waited nearly two months for her, letting her set the pace of when and how far they got physical. She supposed he deserved the same kind of consideration.
Jye surprised her. “You know, I have a good feeling about your blue-haired fellow. It’s rare for a non-Litting to so fully embrace the power of meditation.” His eyes twinkled. “Even rarer for two people to connect so deeply they blush when all they’re doing is sitting next to each other.”
Her cheeks turned rosy now. “You noticed?”
“Hard not to.”
She groaned so loudly she startled a laugh out of him.
* * * *
Walking back to his apartment Saturday morning, Whitt offered himself dozens of excuses for what he was about to do: this was the most familiar route home; this way was more scenic; he was walking for his health. But all his mental disclaimers were a lie. Although he’d gone out to breakfast to avoid the temptation of calling Spri, here he was walking down the street in front of her apartment in hopes of catching a glimpse of her. He was hopeless.
Whitt was also no closer to a decision than he’d been several sleepless nights ago. Cognitive dissonance—he’d heard the term in a college psych course once, and that summed up his problem perfectly. On the one hand, he knew he didn’t want to jump into marriage too quickly. How could he be sure in his twenties whom he wanted to live with when he was in his fifties and beyond? If what Spri said was true, then she’d know the second he had any regrets. On the other hand, he was certain he’d never felt like this before. This had to be love—gritty, achy, mind-rattling love. He couldn’t imagine feeling this way about anyone else.
So where did that leave him? Apparently, it left him trolling her street like a lovesick stalker on a Saturday afternoon. As he drew closer, he noticed her building was still and quiet except for a man buzzing in at the front door. Whitt’s eyes dismissed him to travel up to her window, although the mirrored tinting made it impossible to see inside. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar feminine voice that his eyes dropped back to ground-level again.
Whitt froze. From where he stood behind a parked vehicle across the street, he could see Spri’s face clearly as she stepped outside. Her hair sparkled in the mellow glow of morning light, and her eyes were as pale as the dawn. The expression of pure happiness that broke across her face made him want to fall to his knees. For one precious second, he imagined she’d spotted him and was gracing him with that radiant smile. All of his doubts faded away, leaving a full sensation in his chest like a warm bubble expanding inside his heart.
Then in the next instant, that bubble burst. Spri wasn’t looking at him. She didn’t see him at all. Her happiness was for the man waiting outside the door. With a cry of joy, she darted into his arms, raining kisses on his face as he swooped her up and spun her around. When the male turned, Whitt made out his features and recognized him as another Litting.
She’d found someone else? No, the guy couldn’t be someone new. Spri didn’t work that fast. Ah, gods, the ex. According to her, she’d practically been married to the guy, and they’d stayed in touch. When Whitt had walked out on her at class the other night, she must have called the idiot—a shoulder to cry on and all that. Maybe she’d decided she needed to be with her fellow Litting after all, and her ex realized what he’d given up.
Although he couldn’t see himself, Whitt was sure his eyes must be flashing green and red, alternating between sickening jealousy and the worse rage he’d ever felt. He watched the other male put his arm around Spri, watched her invite him in, and he wanted to rip the puny Litting limb from limb. She was his. Whether he’d gotten all the way inside her or not, he’d claimed her, he wanted her, he…loved her.
Before he knew what he was doing, Whitt was eating up the ground in front of her apartment with long, purposeful strides. In under a minute, he was at the door, logging in and gritting his teeth impatiently as he waited for her to answer.
“Hello?” Spri’s voice called down softly.
She’d left the video off, which made him even more desperate to get to her. Surely she and her ex hadn’t gotten naked that quickly.
“It’s me,” he growled.
The long pause that followed made his gut burn. Then instead of an answer, he heard the click of the door unlocking. He whipped it open and jogged to the elevator. A minute later, he knocked on her door.
With infuriating calm, Spri opened up on the second knock. “Whitt. It’s good to see you, but I wish you’d called first.”
“I bet.”
Her brow furrowed. “Ever since class, I’ve really wanted to sit down and talk with you, but at the moment I have company.”
“I know.” He pushed his way past her into her apartment.
Whitt almost felt like he was watching someone else as he walked forward to confront her ex. Ever since he’d been mature enough to notice a female’s curves, he’d played the cool, casual guy. He occasionally dated, frequently had sex with women, but generally went his own way. Never had he gotten twisted up over a girl, and he’d certainly never fought for anyone. Until now.
“Listen,” he warned the guy. “I don’t know what she’s told you, but she’s not back on the market.”
“Whitt.” Spri tried to interrupt.
“You had your chance,” he continued. “She fell for you when she was a kid, but she’s outgrown you now. You’re not man enough to take care of her.”
“Whitt,” she tried again.
“Oh, really?” The other man arched one platinum brow. “And just who are you?”
“I’m her boyfriend.” Whitt stood up straighter. “As good as her fiancé, for that matter. I know how wonderful she is, and I know she deserves to be taken seriously. If I didn’t, she wouldn’t drive me so crazy.”
“Oh, Whitt.” Spri sighed, but he still ignored her.
“So if you think you can just waltz back into her life and reclaim her, then think again. You’ll have to fight me for her.”
The other man crossed his arms. “Good to know. There’s just one problem.”
“Honey, this isn’t N
ergo,” Spri said. “This is Ash.”
“I don’t care what he wants to call himself. All I care about is…did you say Ash?” Whitt backpedaled. “As in your brother, Ash?”
“The same.” The Litting man responded with a grin.
“He just got back in town after being away on business,” Spri explained. “Ash wanted to surprise me, so he came straight here after his flight landed.”
“Oh.” Whitt was struck dumb, which was appropriate since that’s exactly how he felt. Reaching out, he shook the other man’s hand and introduced himself in a daze.
Ash appeared to have the same peaceful façade as his sister, underneath which lay the impression that the guy was secretly amused by the life forms around him. “Now I’m extra glad I stopped by. I had no idea my little sister was engaged.”
“We’re still working things out,” Spri put in, which made her brother narrow his eyes.
All amusement gone, Ash glared at Whitt. “You’re not some fickle alien who thinks he can sleep with my sister and walk away, are you? Because that could be very, very bad for your health.”
“Ash!” she objected.
“It’s okay. I understand.” Whitt turned to Spri.
*
Spri felt like she was in some kind of onscreen drama, except she couldn’t think of anything smart to say. Her head was spinning. First Ash had surprised her with this visit, and then Whitt had come knocking at her door. Next thing she knew, her boyfriend had threatened her brother, and now her brother was threatening her boyfriend. Was she even in the room? Did she get a say?
“I’m not good with this kind of stuff,” Whitt said.
That made two of them.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “You told me countless times what it would mean for us to be together. You even sat me down with a class full of students to teach me, but I wouldn’t listen. I know I’ve got my faults, but being a slow learner isn’t usually one of them.”
Stepping closer, he took her hand, drowning her in his pale blue gaze until she forgot all about her brother standing there.
“It made me ask myself why I wouldn’t listen, why I wouldn’t learn. I only just came up with the answer.”
“What?” she whispered.
“I don’t care.”
“Huh?” He’d reduced her to one-syllable questions now.
“I don’t care what the price is,” Whitt explained. “I don’t care how binding the commitment or how terrifying the leap. It doesn’t matter to me because you’re worth it.”
Her heart pattered in her chest, and hope bloomed anew. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?
“What are you saying?”
With another step, he brought his body so close she could feel the heat of him from her scalp to her toes.
“I’m saying the thought of you choosing someone else, even for a moment, drove me crazy. There’s no way I’m losing you.” His swallow was audible, but his gaze never wavered. “I won’t promise you forever, Spri. I can’t. But I will promise from now on, for as long as we’re happier together than apart.”
There were myths among Spri’s people—legends of meditation guides who dove so deeply into the mystical that they broke free of their bodies and could sore among the stars. That’s what she felt like now. Her whole soul was flying.
“Will you give me that chance?” he asked. “Please tell me I haven’t ruined everything.”
“Silly man.” She smashed her lips against his before he could say another word.
“Eh-hem.”
The sound of her brother pointedly clearing his throat made her jump back, but she glanced over to see him smiling.
“I suppose congratulations are in order.” Ash shook Whitt’s hand. “Welcome to the family.”
To her surprise, Whitt blushed so hard the roots of his hair shimmered purple. “It’s not official yet.”
Ash just laughed. “It might as well be. Something tells me you’ll be my new brother-in-law by the time I get home. Just don’t tell me about it. There are some things a guy doesn’t want to know about his little sister.”
Pulling her into his arms, Ash gave her a big hug and kissed the top of her head in blessing. “Be happy, Spri.”
When he drew back, he held her shoulders for a second before heading for the door.
“I’ll be in town for at least two weeks,” Ash assured her. “We’ll get together, and I’ll grill you about your choice of mates. Then I’ll see you at the family dinner the second Mom and Dad hear about this.”
Spri laughed and blew him another kiss. “You got it. Now go visit Min for a while. Our baby sister has missed you almost as much as I have.”
“You assume I’ll be able to find her in her dorm room,” he retorted. “She’s probably buried under a pile of dirty laundry.”
With that parting remark, he let himself out and shut the door behind him.
*
The second they were alone, Whitt felt his cock grow agonizingly erect at the same time that his heart did a somersault. Never in his life had he felt so desperate, yet so wary of sex. Maybe because he wasn’t going to have sex with Spri. He was going to make love. Before her, he’d never really understood the difference.
“Are you all right?” She looked worried. “You know, you don’t have to rush into this. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you into anything.”
“You’re not,” he assured her. “I want this. I’m just not sure about…telepathy? Really?”
She had the nerve to giggle. “Don’t worry. I promise you’ll like it very, very much if you relax. Maybe I should help you?”
Her hands felt like they branded him as she slid her palms slowly up his chest and over his shoulders. Bending his neck, he kissed her lips while she glided her fingers down his back and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt. He had to pull back so she could peel it over his head, but then he was back again, feasting on her mouth.
“I love the taste of you.”
She just sighed.
When he unsealed her blouse and popped open her bra, that same sigh turned into a full-throated moan. The scraps of material hit the floor at their feet. In the next instant, she tugged at the seam of his pants, springing his erection from its cage. Her stroking hands inflamed him, and he wriggled as he toed off his shoes and socks.
Although they hardly surfaced for air, they had each other completely naked in under a minute. In a halting tango, they danced through the doorway together and moved into the bedroom until they bumped into the bed. Her lips clung to his for a precious moment before she tilted her head back to look at him.
“Come inside me.” She said the three words every man wanted to hear.
Reaching out to tweak her nipples, Whitt followed her as she crawled backward onto the mattress. The skin of her breasts was so soft he couldn’t stop himself from cupping and circling her with his palms again and again.
“Don’t you want to play first?” He wanted to draw this out.
Leaning forward, he formed his mouth into an “O” around one precious nipple.
Spri groaned and jerked her head back, tickling his cheeks and forehead with her pale hair. “Later. Best to dive right in the first time.”
That gave him pause. Reminded of just what he was in for—just how different making love with her was going to be—Whitt felt a trickle of doubt. In the next instant, though, she cupped his balls, and he forgot all about his anxiety.
Her look was pure flame and promise. “Let’s see. What was it I learned about Allurian males in our very first Sex Ed class? Oh yes, you can’t take a female of your own race from behind. But I’m not of your race.”
His breathing deepened, and he gulped. “I’ve always wanted to try that. You’ll let me?”
Without a word, she rolled onto her hands and knees and glanced at him over her shoulder.
Overcome by lust, he had just enough presence of mind to stuff a few pillows underneath her before he covered her back. It was like he was ca
ught up in a wicked, forbidden fantasy, except she felt all too real beneath him. He felt like a virgin all over again as he tried to figure out the right angle.
The tip of his cock skidded across her slick opening before he lined his hips up and started pushing inside. Although he already knew she was tight, the pressure against his hard crest was so intense he made a keening noise in the back of his throat. Unable to stop himself, he thrust forward in one hard lunge the second his glans breached her. He’d never gone so deep in his life.
Spri cried out beneath him.
“Did I hurt you?”
Although she was dripping wet and his entry was smooth, he knew it had been a while for her. Had he moved too fast?
She shook her head.
Whitt had only a second to feel relieved before he was distracted. It felt like his penis was…dissolving. Not flagging, not hurting, but somehow liquefying inside her sheath. The sensation was as disturbing as it was pleasurable, a feeling not unlike the hot, wet rapture of ejaculating, except the entire length of his shaft was doing it.
“Spri?”
It was spreading. Invisible fingers reached out from his groin to his hips and buttocks and then latched on and tugged him into her. At the same time, his nipples and scalp started to tingle. Soon the entire front of his body felt glued to Spri’s, and he was being pulled deeper, absorbed into the very heart of her.
“Relax, Whitt,” she said. Except she didn’t speak the words aloud. They tumbled directly from her mind to his, setting off a mini-orgasm that shivered through his entire body.
Although he could still feel her pinned beneath him, accepting his girth, he also felt her arms wrapping around him in comfort.
“I’m with you, honey. Don’t be scared. This is going to be so good.”
He didn’t see how this could get any better or more terrifying, but he didn’t have a choice. All he could do was fight to breathe as his body and mind grew impossibly more aroused. A completely alien sensation rocked through his groin, making him gasp. Stars above, he couldn’t feel his penis because he didn’t have one. He had a vagina. Her vagina. And he could feel his own cock stretching it into a taut ring.