Blueprint for Romance

by Shannon M Harris

  “You know where the menus are.”

  “Any requests?”

  “Nope. You choose.”

  Two hours later, and after they’d finished off their double pepperoni and cheese pizza, both were on the floor in front of the coffee table working on the envelopes. Kat had to admit Briley had a knack for it. The finished ones looked great. Almost Pinterest perfect.

  “Wait a minute,” Briley said. She held the glue gun in the right hand and a horse sticker in the other. “I thought you were making a scrapbook of Griffin’s accomplishments, like the rest of us?”

  “Oh.” Kat bit her lip and adhered the star sticker onto an envelope. “Okay. The truth is I’ve been keeping everything in a shoe box.”

  “But,” Briley spluttered. “I bought you a scrapbook and supplies.”

  “It’s in my closet.” Kat narrowed her eyes when Briley mumbled. “What was that?”

  “I said, if I knew you weren’t using it, I would have taken yours instead of buying another one.”

  “Another one?” Kat blinked. “You’ve already filled one up?”

  “Two,” Briley stated proudly. “She’s my daughter. I don’t want to miss anything. When she gets older, I want her to know how each of her accomplishments made me feel. No matter how small they were. I’m also keeping a journal of sorts of the events in Evan and Madison’s lives.”

  “You’re amazing. They are all very lucky.”

  “I…yes, but I’m the lucky one. Extremely lucky.” She sniffled.

  “Bri, what’s wrong?”

  She set the glue gun and sticker on the table. “Sometimes it hits me how lucky I am. When I wake up in Leah’s arms, or playing with Griffin, as well as spending time with Evan and talking with Madison. I’m so lucky, Kat. I’m terrified too, but they’re worth it. Being with them is worth me worrying about Evan getting in with the wrong crowd, or Griffin getting hurt, or God forbid something happening to Leah, or Madison and her family. They will always be worth it, and I believe you’re starting to feel a little bit of that too for Dylan and Emma.”

  Kat took a deep breath. “I am. I’m not ready to call it love yet, but I love spending time with them, and my thoughts are always on them.”

  “What you’re feeling is normal. I feel it every day.”

  “You’re right. Dylan and I promised to not rush things and live day to day.”

  “Day to day, huh?” Briley’s grin set Kat on edge. “What did she say when you told her you were devoting the next year of your life to her and Emma?” She picked up the glue gun and continued with her envelope.

  Kat opened and shut her mouth. Shit. That was exactly what she’d done. She’d planned the next year of their life together without even realizing it. With a groan, she dropped her head back to the couch. What was she thinking?

  “Though, I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.” With a flourish, Briley handed Kat the finished envelope.

  “Why?” Kat slid the envelope into Emma’s box.

  “Well, Dylan did give the okay to all of your activities with Emma. That she trusts you with her daughter should tell you all you need to know. If the whole year thing bothered her, she would have told you. Dylan doesn’t strike me as the type of woman who does what she doesn’t want to. Am I right?”

  That was true. Dylan hadn’t commented on it, but like with her feelings, she would bring it up the next time they talked. “Yes, you’re right. Let’s get this done.”

  “Hell, yeah.” Briley high-fived her. “By the way, next Tuesday night, I’m going to take Leah out. Can you watch Griffin?”

  Kat frowned when the sticker wouldn’t adhere to the envelope. “Evan can’t?” She’d noticed that he was spending more time with his friends. It both delighted and made her sad.

  “He’s got a big test on Friday and needs to study.” Briley cut her eyes to Kat. “Can you watch her? If not, that’s fine. I can see if Ashley will.”

  Ashley was one of Briley’s good friends. Even though Ashley was nice, Kat would never pass up the opportunity to spend time with her niece. “Sure. What time do you need me there?”

  “Can you make it by six-thirty? We don’t have any reservations anywhere. I just felt we needed a night out.”

  Kat went over her schedule in her mind. “Can we make it seven?”

  “Sure.” Briley plopped another envelope into Kat’s hand. “I bet I can finish mine before you finish yours.”

  “You’re on.”

  Three hours and a ton of snacks later, Briley had gone home after winning their competition. Kat stretched out on the couch staring at the finished envelopes. Those envelopes represented the next year of her life. A year she planned to willingly spend with Dylan and Emma. To anyone else it might not seem like a big deal, but to Kat it was everything. She hoped Dylan felt the same way.

  With a groan, Dylan stretched her back after she finished cleaning the bathroom in one of the hotel rooms. They’d had a busy day with almost twenty rooms apiece because one of the other housekeepers called in and she still had four rooms to go. Not to mention that two of her rooms were trashed and it had taken almost an hour to clean each one. She wouldn’t be able to pick Emma up from school, so she’d called her mom to take care of it.

  “Earth to Dylan.” Dylan spun around, coming face to face with Haley, who looked as tired as she did.

  “You okay?” Haley asked. “I’m asking because for the last few months you’ve practically had a smile plastered to your face and not the frown that is currently in its place. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the long day we’ve had.”

  Dylan glanced at the clock and figured it was close enough to their break that they could go ahead and take it. “Just thinking about Kat.”

  Haley leaned back against the nearest wall. “Things not going well?”

  “It’s not that.” Dylan bit her lip.

  “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

  “I like her. A lot. But she seems too good to be true. You know? Says the right things. Does the right things. My daughter adores her, and they haven’t even spent that much time together. I’ve never had a relationship like this before. It’s strange. I try not to think about the other shoe dropping, but sometimes it’s hard not to. Kat makes it so easy.” She pulled her gloves off and ran her hand down her face.

  Haley smiled and squeezed Dylan’s shoulder. “I’ve been there before. Not sure if you should open up or if you should even take a chance. It’s hard wondering if you should trust your heart or your head.” Dylan nodded. That was exactly what she was feeling. “I’m not an expert on relationships but let me ask you something. When you’re with her, what do you feel?” Haley held her hand up. “Don’t think, just talk.”

  “Safe. Happy. Content.” She buried her head in her hands and after a moment turned to look at Haley. “She’s funny, smart, compassionate.” Dylan smirked. “Sexy as hell.”

  “I know.” Haley laughed. “How do you feel when she’s interacting with Emma?”

  “Like Emma couldn’t be in safer hands.” Dylan’s eyes widened. “Oh, God.”

  “It’s okay,” Haley quickly said, and patted Dylan’s hand.

  “No.” Dylan stood. “It’s way too soon for that.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” Haley pushed away from the wall and took Dylan’s hand. “Don’t overthink this. You still have some reservations. Talk to her.”

  “I will. I wish we had more time together, but what time we do spend she’s always so focused on us. Ian was great, but I never felt like this with him.” Guilt was something she’d dealt with for the last couple of weeks. She knew it was unfounded, but it seemed to always be just on the surface. “For God’s sake, we haven’t even kissed yet.”

  Haley laughed. “That’s easily remedied. As for the guilt. Well, would Ian want you to be sad? He would want you to move on, wouldn’t he?”

  “He would. I know that.” She shook her head and sighed. “I think I’m overthinking everythi
ng. My mom said I should go with the flow and I’m trying.”

  “Look.” Haley grasped her shoulders. “I think it’s time you had a heart to heart with her. Lay all your worries down and talk all this through. It’s the only way you’re going to be able to get over this.”

  “You’re right. We’re supposed to meet this weekend.” She smiled, thinking about the envelopes Kat was going to give them on Saturday. They both agreed not to tell Emma beforehand. It would be a nice surprise and Dylan knew Emma would appreciate it. “Thank you, Haley.”

  “Any time.” Haley glanced at the clock. “Back to work.”

  “Hopefully, these last rooms fly by.”

  The rest of the rooms took a couple of hours and then she was pulling into Miller’s grocery store. It hit her earlier in the week that Kat put more into this relationship than she did, and it was time she stepped up. And, more than once, she received praise as a fantastic gift giver. Once inside, she picked up a basket and headed toward the candy aisle. She’d settled on a budget and had downloaded a few of the digital coupons the store offered this week to help with the final cost.

  Her thoughts wandered as she picked up and threw several items into her basket. She knew Kat would appreciate anything Dylan gave her, but she wanted to make it special. After checking out, she headed across town to the pet store. Before she could talk herself out of it, she wandered inside and quickly located the aisle she was looking for. Five minutes later, she was still staring at the shelf.

  “Looking for something?” A voice said to her right.

  Dylan knew that voice, and slowly turned to look at Briley, who had a knowing look on her face. “Stripes.”

  Briley nodded and stepped up beside her, then touched an item. “That one is nice.”

  Dylan reached for and pulled the small hoodie off the peg. It was black and gray with a red stripe down the sides. It would go good with Stripes’ coloring and it was only a couple of dollars higher than she budgeted for. “Thank you.”

  Briley fidgeted. “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, and while I hope that changes, you’re not the priority in my life.” Dylan flinched but kept quiet. “I love my sister and want what’s best for her.”

  “I understand.”

  “I don’t think you do. Kat is amazing and what you see is what you get. God,” Briley groaned, “she’d get so upset with me for saying this, but it needs to be said.”

  “If it’s something she should tell me, I would like to hear it from her.” There was no way she wanted Briley to divulge Kat’s secrets to her.

  Briley nodded but plowed ahead. “Kat wears her heart on her sleeve, but she’s not always good with letting her walls down. Don’t run before you have a chance to knock a few of said walls down. Just give her time. Please don’t hurt her without just cause.”

  “Briley, I would never do that. It’s come to my attention today that there are things we need to discuss and the sooner the better. But I also realized that Kat has been giving more to this relationship than I have lately and that needs to change. I like your sister.”

  “She likes you too.”

  “I would hope so, as much time as we’ve been spending together.”

  “Good. Good.” Briley tapped her cart that cat and dog food, along with a few toys filled. “I need to get going, but it was good to see you. I mean it about us getting together and baking.” Briley dug into her purse and pulled out a pencil and piece of paper, scribbled something on it, then handed it to Dylan. “My number. If you’re going to be spending more time with Kat, which it looks like at least the next year is locked in, you should have my number.”

  Dylan slipped the paper in her pocket. So, Briley knew about the envelopes as well. “Thank you and I should get going.”

  “Have a good rest of your day.”

  “I will.”

  After paying for her purchase, she headed home.

  Five hours later, she still felt restless. Emma had gone to bed two hours ago, but Dylan couldn’t get Kat off her mind and what they needed to talk about. When Kat had called at nine-thirty their nightly talk was short, but sweet, and Dylan hadn’t worked up the nerve to delve into the talk they needed to have. She debated about calling Kat again, when her mother took the phone from her hands.

  “You should go and talk to her.”

  “It’s late.”

  “Honey, if you’re this worked up over it, text her to let her know you need to talk, then go over there.”

  Her mom was right. “Let me have my phone.”

  Dylan: You up?

  Kat: Yes.

  A moment later her phone rang. “Hello.”

  “Everything okay?” Kat asked.

  Dylan swung her legs over the couch and sat up. “Not really.”

  “What’s wrong? Do I need to come over?”

  “No, but would you mind if I came over to your place?” There was a long pause; Dylan worried that Kat had hung up.

  “Sure. You can come over.”

  “I’ll be there shortly.”

  “Okay.”

  Twenty minutes later, Dylan pulled into Kat’s driveway and cut the engine. Before she even got out of the car, the front door opened, and Kat stepped out a few feet, dressed in a pair of plaid sleep pants and a white tank top. The worried look set Dylan in motion. “It’s not bad, Kat. I promise.”

  Kat’s features relaxed. She stepped back through the door so Dylan could enter. They both settled close together on the couch.

  Dylan took Kat’s right hand. “Really, it’s nothing bad, but sometimes when I get something on my mind, I need to talk it out, no matter what time it is.”

  “You’re welcome any time, Dylan.”

  “I have something to say…that I want you to know.” Dylan stood and started pacing. “You’re perfect. Always saying and doing the right things. It’s so frustrating sometimes.” She stopped pacing and fixed her gaze on Kat, who sat quietly on the couch with an unreadable expression. “I want so much to believe everything you say and do, and it would be so easy to. But there’s this little voice in my mind that won’t let me forget that everything could fall apart in a moment’s notice. Emma would be devastated, and frankly, so would I.” She paused, then took a deep breath. “I know how you feel about me, but I’m not always great at expressing my feelings. I don’t want you to feel like I’m not in this as much as you are.” Another pause and deep breath. “I like you, Kat. A lot. And I find myself more scared than happy when I’m left alone with my thoughts. I don’t like that feeling. You’ve done nothing for me to distrust you…yet it’s still there.” She stared at Kat, waiting for her to say something.

  “I’m terrified.” Kat stood. “I look at you and Emma and can see my future, but I’m shit at relationships. I either give too much or not enough. I miss birthdays, and holidays. I’ve always had walls up, but I find you easily knocking them down and it scares the hell out of me. I have just as much to lose as you do. If this doesn’t work, I’m going to be devastated, and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. In my past relationships, it’s always been one day at a time.” She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “But fuck. I’ve planned the next year of my life with you and Emma in mind. Who does that, and you went with it? I hope you know you can tell me anything. I screw up, Dylan, all the time. I think we haven’t spent enough time together for you to see that. I’m scared that when we do spend more time together, you’ll see that I’m not perfect and not be interested anymore. I hate to think about a day when you don’t want me in your life anymore.”

  “Kat, I’m terrified too, for a lot of the same reasons you are. You’ve mostly only seen the good side of Emma. You’ve never had to comfort her from a nightmare or hold her when she’s cried herself to sleep. Our life isn’t a picnic. As you know, I’m up to my eyeballs in debt with Emma’s bills. I work my ass off, and it never feels like enough. She’s disabled and it’s not easy. She’s not always happy. You could do so much better than m
e.” Dylan swiped at her tears.

  “I’m not scared of the hard times. I welcome them. It means we’re growing and evolving. I want this relationship to go somewhere.” She held Dylan’s gaze, her voice sincere. “I can’t promise I’ll always understand, but I’ll always be willing to listen and talk things through. Like now. This is hard. I don’t want to mess up and I’m terrified I won’t be enough for you or Emma. Yes, I have a healthy bank account, but I never want you to feel like you’re not enough for me. You are and so is Emma. I don’t care how much money you have, or how many jobs you work, or where you work. Do I want you working yourself to death?” She shook her head. “No, but I understand and I’m more than willing to help you find a job that will get you more financially secure, but only if that’s something you want my help with. I like the way you look, but I’ll be here to help if you decided you want to try and lose weight. I just want you healthy, and right now you are. I…” Kat ran a hand through her hair, leaving it standing straight up.

  Before Dylan could think about her actions, she entered Kat’s personal space and smoothed Kat’s hair back down. She relaxed even more when Kat’s arms slipped around her and pulled their bodies flush together.

  “The hard times scare me. You scare me.” Dylan rested her head on Kat’s shoulder.

  Kat rubbed her cheek against Dylan’s hair. “And that’s okay. You scare me too. Emma scares me. I’ll be here, though. I don’t plan on going anywhere. I’m not a player. Far from it. You’re the only woman I want.” Kat pulled back enough to search Dylan’s face. With one hand, she cupped Dylan’s jaw.

  “I’m nobody.”

  “You’re somebody to me.”

  Dylan braced herself when Kat closed the distance between them. She trembled with the first touch of Kat’s lips on hers. The kiss was over before it even started. She pulled Kat down into their second one. This one was more fervent. Dylan boldly slipped her tongue against Kat’s lips, gently requesting entrance. Kat opened to her, their tongues lightly stroking, making Dylan feel a little dizzy. Not wanting to escalate the kiss into something more, Dylan gently bit Kat’s bottom lip before she pulled away.