His thoughts drifted to Devin’s face when he opened the door. He’d been surprised to see her there, and had instantly been very aware of his undressed state. But Devin had been quite perceptive of it also. She looked like she’d just been struck by lightning. Her chest heaving and struggling for breath, her mouth falling open in a perfect little ‘o’ shape. Her eyes burning with such clear desire.
All in all, he’d really enjoyed her response. Probably more than he should have. As he had stood there by the door, so aware of the little white towel loosely tucked around his waist, he made no effort to quell her thoughts, shifting so his arms looked even broader when he crossed them over his chest, leaning against the doorway to stretch his torso.
And after he got dressed, when he came back into the living room to see her crawling around on the floor, to see her on her hands and knees with that lovely little ass up in the air, he could have wept. That little white skirt and firm tan legs. The way her neckline had dipped low to reveal a scrap of the lacy pink bra beneath it. The way her eyes had gone soft and smoldering when he slowly buttoned his shirt. God, she was so damn cute. Her teeth had caught her lip, very nearly causing him to groan aloud and making it that much more difficult to close his zipper over his rapidly swelling cock.
More than anything, at that moment, he wanted to pick her up and fuck her senseless right then and there. To hell with her feelings for Jake.
Ronin shifted in his bed, knowing he had to stop this line of thought. He was so wound up just thinking about it that he’d never fall asleep at this point. He’d never felt such a strong pull towards someone before, not even Kim with her model looks and well-crafted seductive style. Kim who so easily deceived him. Devastated him. Before he’d even known it, she’d taken everything he thought they were, everything he thought they were going to be, and rejected it—rejected him. She’d destroyed so much before he’d even realized it. He’d truly felt he would never recover, that his ability to trust was completely crushed.
But in the short time he’d known her, Devin had started to fill that void. Permeating all the little cracks and crevices Kim had left, swelling to fill the emptiness. Fuck, he needed to be careful. She still very much wanted to be with Jake. Even if she was attracted to Ronin, she’d drop him in a second if Jake came back to her.
Ronin punched his pillow and shifted in his bed, willing his thoughts to stop running rampant. He closed his eyes, thinking of all he had to do tomorrow on the job site to pull his mind from Devin. Finally, he began to relax and felt his consciousness started to fade. Just as he started to drift off, his iPhone rang from his bedside table.
“Ronin? It’s Joanie.” Her voice was quiet on the other end, but he could hear the worry in her voice. “Um, could you come and … Shit, we need your help.”
Ronin sat up in bed, instantly alert. “What’s wrong, Joanie?”
“Well, we’re at this party and all, and Devin’s having a meltdown in the bathroom.” She paused for a moment. “Jake and Melanie showed up. Devin’s not handling it well. She’s asking for you.”
“Fuck. Where are you at?”
“Some guy named Jeff’s place. Just the other side of the bridge, on the right.”
“I know where it is. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. And, Joanie? Just keep her in there. She’ll hate herself if she goes out there and makes a scene.”
Ronin quickly threw on some clothes and climbed in his pickup. It was almost ten-thirty at night, but was still faintly light, as was typical of Montana summers. He wondered how much of the strawberry vodka crap Devin had drunk and how bad of shape she was in. His foot hit the gas as he got to the straightaway on the edge of town, racing along the last few miles to the bridge.
He’d told Joanie ten minutes—he’d made it in seven.
Ronin pulled into the big, circular driveway of the old farmhouse. Kings of Leon blared through windows that had been opened wide to let in the cool evening mountain air after the heat of the day. Ronin walked through the front door to the usual party sight. It was relatively calm yet, but things were still gearing up. Kids who looked barely old enough to drive were milling around, ready to party hard on through the night. A couple young guys stood at the kitchen counter playing some sort of beer pong type of game. The stereo blasted My Party as people mingled, laughing and joking around—and, of course, drinking like there was no tomorrow.
A keg dominated the open kitchen area and Jeff, whose parents owned the house, was frantically pulling a few fragile items off the shelves to save them from the growing rowdiness in the room. It wouldn’t matter, though. His folks were going to kill him anyway when they got home, if for no other reason than the cloud of smoke that hovered in the living room. Jeff’s older brother had been buddies with Ronin in high school before going away to college. Ronin knew from experience that their mom could smell that shit a mile away.
Ronin weaved his way through the crowd towards the stairs, guessing that Devin had sought the upstairs bathroom to get away from the main group. This bunch of kids was a bit younger than the one that usually ended up at his place, and he garnered a level of respect as they parted like the Red Sea for him to walk through the room. Hell, he easily classified as a heavyweight against all these scrawny high-school lightweights. Ronin had barely an ounce of fat on him, but he easily outweighed the biggest of these kids by a good fifty pounds.
“Hey, Ronin,” a kid would occasionally mumble in awe as he walked by. A few future party skanks shot him inviting looks through their lashes. But Ronin was on a mission.
Taking the steps two at a time, he began to walk down the upstairs hallway and his gut lurched. Standing outside the bathroom, obviously trying to hear what was going on inside, was Jake. Ronin eyed him suspiciously, and Jake’s head turned. With a startled look, Jake saw Ronin standing there and blanched.
Ronin spoke in a dangerously quiet voice, so as not to tip off the girls on the other side of the door. “Where’s Melanie, asshole? Does she know you’re up here?”
Jake’s expression flitted between anger at Ronin’s crude address and fear of the bigger man’s obvious anger with him. “She’s in the backyard, with some friends.”
Ronin’s jaw clenched. “I suggest you go find your girlfriend, then.”
“Devin’s in there. She’s upset,” Jake said without thinking.
“I know that, fucker. Why the hell do you think that is? GET. THE. FUCK. AWAY.”
Jake backed away from the door at the threat in Ronin’s eyes. At the top of the stairs, he stopped. “I don’t really want to hurt her,” he said quietly.
Ronin just glared at him until, without another word, Jake descended the stairs.
Ronin stood at the door for another moment, willing his fierce anger to calm. The more he knew of the guy, the more he wanted to kick his ass. Someday… He took a few deep breaths to regain control, and then he knocked.
“It’s Ronin,” he said quietly, standing outside the closed bathroom door.
The door cracked open and Amy peeked out. Seeing nobody else in the hallway, she opened it farther to allow Ronin to enter the small bathroom. Joanie sat with her arm around Devin who had her face planted in a towel to muffle her sobs. As Ronin knelt on the floor before her, Joanie pulled back a bit. Devin raised her bloodshot eyes, her mascara trailing down her face, and Ronin wished desperately that he had mopped the floor with Jake’s face and thrown him down the stairs instead of letting him walk away. Devin threw herself at Ronin, and his arms wrapped around her shaking body, pulling her close.
“Shhh. It’s okay, now, baby,” he crooned softly. “I’ll get you out of here.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Devin whispered in a shaky breath.
Ronin rocked her for a moment, letting her tears fall and absorb into the soft, faded denim of his shirt. He looked over Devin’s head to see the concerned expressions on the faces of Joanie and Amy.
“Let’s get her out of here, girls,” Ronin said softly.
; He scooped Devin into his arms and waited for Amy to open the door. She walked down the steps before him, attempting to clear a path through the crowd. Ronin followed, Devin’s face buried into his neck. Joanie grabbed their purses and jackets, joining them downstairs a few seconds later.
“Ronin,” Joanie warned quietly as she walked up behind him, “keep an eye out for… you know.”
“Took care of him already, Joanie,” he said over his shoulder, just loud enough for Joanie to hear.
She nodded back at him thankfully.
Amy pushed her way through the crowd, easing the way for Ronin and Devin. The kids glanced at them with curious looks at the sight of him carrying Devin. Some gaped, some looked away, some whispered to their friends. But Ronin didn’t pay attention to a single person in the room as he continued on out the front door.
“I’m taking her back to my place,” he told the girls decidedly as they reached his pickup. “Don’t want her to be alone.” Ronin looked over and Joanie and Amy. “Either of you need a ride, or are you sticking around here for a while?” The two girls glanced over at each other.
“Um, nah. I think we’re okay,” Amy said. “I’ve got my car. We’ll head back into town in a bit.”
Ronin nodded as he slipped Devin’s numbly responsive body across the driver’s seat to the middle of the truck. Then he climbed behind the wheel, pulled her closer to his side, and headed home.
Devin drifted off as Ronin drove slowly back to town, his strong arm around her in an attempt to calm her loneliness and grief. He looked down at her a moment after he pulled into his driveway and stopped the pickup. Her eyes were closed, her lashes spikey from the tears, her cheeks flushed from crying. She looked so lost… afraid… alone. Every time he saw her so vulnerable, it awakened a need to protect her—and to beat the ever-loving hell out of Jake.
He leaned his head back against the bench seat of the truck and looked out into the night. The raw edge of what Kim had done to him had never completely healed and, from time to time, the sharp pang cut into him like it had all happened yesterday. But Kim had been quite some time ago. He hadn’t even seen her in probably two years. Devin was still facing her demons, in the flesh, every day. He could see them in her eyes tonight when she focused on him before her.
He wanted her, painfully. She was delectable—so refreshing and cute, adorable and funny. But he felt the need to protect her, to keep her from being hurt like this anymore. They were both so fucked-up over other people, and he was sure he’d likely hurt her if things ever went beyond friendship. He didn’t want to hurt her… ever.
But friends? They could be friends.
“C’mon, baby,” he whispered to her, rousing her enough to sit her up. “Let’s get you inside.”
Devin’s eyes cracked open and focused dazedly on his face. “Where are we?” she mumbled.
“We’re at my place. I’ve gotta get some sleep for work tomorrow, but I don’t want you to be alone.”
Her brows drew together in a frown. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked Joanie to call you. I didn’t know you were sleeping.”
“No worries. I’ll get plenty of sleep. I think I might kinda like having you here with me anyway,” he smiled softly down at her. “Now, quit apologizing and sit up for a minute while I get out.”
Devin did, and Ronin reached for her once he stood. He helped her from the truck and put his arm around her waist to steady her as she climbed the steps. He guided her through the living room, the kitchen, the hallway. In his room, he sat her on his bed and slipped off her jacket and shoes before motioning for her to lie down. She sighed in comfort, rolling onto her side, facing away from him. He slipped into the warm bed next to her and spooned against her, wrapping her in his arms.
“Thank you, Ronin,” she whispered as she dozed off. His arms tightened slightly in response.
Devin’s eyes slowly blinked open. They felt parched and raw. It wasn’t yet light, but she could see enough in the moonlight to recognize her surroundings. A flitter of confusion ran through her as she wondered momentarily how she had ended up in Ronin’s room. Memories from the night before began to seep into her brain, creating an ache deep in her stomach. The party. Jake and Melanie. And then Ronin arriving like a knight in shining armor to carry her away. Her hero.
She was in Ronin’s room. In Ronin’s arms. In Ronin’s bed. Clothed, but in his bed nonetheless, and this knowledge briefly stirred something deep inside her. Ronin’s left arm was underneath her, holding her close. His right hand skimmed her upper thigh where her skirt had ridden up.
She turned her head and to look back at him. “Hey, babe,” he whispered. The darkness of night made him only a shadow, illuminated faintly by the moonlight streaming through the window.
“Hey.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Stupid,” she muttered with a whisper. “Don’t really want to talk about it. Other than, well… thank you for coming to get me.”
He softly kissed her forehead and she turned her head back to face forward, resting it on her hands where they were clasped on the pillow. Ronin was quiet for a while as he continued to lightly stroke the bare skin of her thigh, his fingers tracing a faint ridge of a scar.
“What’s this from?” he murmured quietly after a bit.
Devin relaxed somewhat with the change of topic. “Horseback riding. My dad was living on a ranch the summer after my eighth grade year,” Devin responded, quiet and steady, yet small and soft. “I was riding a pretty little Arabian. She was a real bitch, though. She seemed fine at first, walking around the corral—a little skittish, but nothing too bad.” Devin paused a moment and quietly continued. “Then I nudged her to go a bit faster, trying to get her to a slow trot. In a split second, her ears went back and she just exploded, bucking and whirling around. I lasted all of about two seconds. She threw me onto a fence, and a nail sticking out of the wood ripped my jeans and gashed my thigh. I have no bronc riding career ahead of me, that’s for sure.”
“Considering how stubborn you can be, I can’t imagine it kept you down for long, though.”
Devin smiled just a tiny bit. “Yeah, I got right back on, but, damn it all, her skittishness outlasted my summer vacation, and I was never able to break through to her before I went back to my mom’s for school.” She sighed softly. “She was so pretty, too. Fairly small and dainty. Dapple gray with little pointy ears. Big dark eyes. She looked so… sweet. But she totally freaked when you tried to ride her.”
“Hmmm, sounds a bit like a girl I know. Learn any tricks from her, did you?” Ronin asked, and she could feel the gentle tease in his voice.
“You have no idea,” she sniffed a sad little laugh, trying to joke back, but appearing more melancholy than amused. “The thing was, she was so sweet when you weren’t trying to ride her. A little shy, but she got to where she’d trot over to the fence when she saw me coming. Granted, it was probably more for the oats than anything. But she’d also whack me with her nose to get me to scratch her behind the ears.” A cloud slowly floated across the moon as she talked quietly, and the room darkened ever-so-slightly before lightening again a few minutes later. “The minute she felt the weight on her back, though, she’d go into full panic mode, like she was terrified. You could just feel the dread in her build. She’d let you take her so far, and then it was like she just couldn’t take it anymore. Like she had to escape.”
Devin turned her head again to look up at Ronin in the shadows. He lifted his hand, his thumb smoothing over her troubled eyebrow and down the side of her face.
“Sounds a lot like a girl I know.”
Devin swallowed against the lump developing in her throat, turning fully into his arms, pressing her face against his neck. She took a shuddering breath. This conversation, for skirting around the reality of the other night in this very room, was so raw and direct. He tightened his embrace, smoothing his hands over her back, feeding her his strength.
“Thing is, not every guy is going to
rip you apart like ass-hat Jake.”
Devin gave a morose chuckle, although it sounded more like a sniffle.
“Somehow, honey,” Ronin said softly, kissing the top of her head, “somehow, you’ll get over this. It sucks. It hurts. It’s awful, but it won’t last. I’m speaking from experience here.” Ronin paused for a moment, thoughtfully nuzzling her hair. “Kim… She wrecked me.”
Chapter 6 – Kim
Devin absorbed the quiet words he’d just spoken, trying to decide if she should ask. “So, who was Kim?” she finally whispered as she traced a pattern on Ronin’s T-shirt-covered chest with the tip of her finger.
It took a moment for him to respond.
“Kim was a girlfriend I had, for a couple years, actually. It was pretty serious. I thought it was, anyway.”
“What happened?” she asked when he didn’t say anything else.
“She got pregnant.”
She looked up at him with wide eyes. “So, you’re a dad?” she asked in a small, quiet voice.
Ronin shook his head. “Didn’t really turn out that way. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Keep it, give it away, get rid of it. I tried to be a stand-up guy, let her make the decision for herself. She decided she wanted to get an abortion. It tore me apart, and yet it relieved me at the same time. And then, the fuckin’ relief made me feel guilty. I didn’t know what to think. But, I offered to take her, to pay. On our way to the clinic in Bozeman, she broke down, sobbing that she couldn’t do it. She said she changed her mind, said she wanted to keep the baby.”
He took a deep breath, and continued. “Crazily enough, I actually got kinda excited. I hadn’t really felt like anyone’s family in a long, long time and this little… person… would be part of mine. Forever. On the way home, we started making plans. We talked about getting married. All the way back, things just seemed to click.”
It seemed difficult for him to continue. Devin rested her hand on his cheek, grazing her thumb along his chin. “Then what happened?” she coaxed.
Little Conversations Page 5