Little Conversations

by Matilde, Sibylla

  Devin laughed again and looked down at her hands. “I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” She softly laughed again and smoothed her fingers along his cheek before she turned to climb in her car. She glanced at him over her shoulder. “I smell like a greasy spoon. Let me run home and shower. I’ll let you go pick out a movie—your choice. You’ve sat through Casablanca… well, sort of. I want to watch whatever you want to watch. Why don’t you come get me in, say, a half hour or so?”

  “I’ll be there,” he smiled.

  Devin started up her car and backed out of her parking spot. She paused a minute before shifting into first gear. Ronin still leaned up against the door to his pickup, watching her tenderly with his hat tipped back and his hands perched on his hips.

  If she wasn’t all fucked up over Jake, she’d totally be fucked up over Ronin, too.

  “Okay, buddy, what kind of pizza?” Devin asked as she climbed in his pickup. “I’m starving!”

  “I just ordered a plain ol’ pepperoni, but I need to stop by the store. I am all out of Tabasco.” Ronin said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye while he drove.

  “Ewwww… Okay, let’s run to the store, then.”

  Ronin pulled into the grocery store parking lot. They walked through the automatic doors and made their way through the aisles looking for the Tabasco. Wistfully, Devin watched Ronin out of the corner of her eye. She still felt weird, icky twinges when she thought of the other night with Jake.

  And last night was… she wasn’t sure what last night was. But, somehow, it had sort of broken something loose in her. As she walked beside Ronin, she was doing her best not to blur the lines in their friendship. It really wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t right to go back and forth like she had been.

  But she was suddenly really, truly finding it hard not to touch him. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to grab his hand as they walked down the aisles. It took everything in her to hold back. She was always holding back. For what? For Jake? She thought back again to Ronin’s words on the phone this morning. The guy had a point. Would she ever be able to trust Jake, even if he did break up with Melanie and come back to her?

  Suddenly, Ronin stopped walking, set the basket down, and turned to her.

  “Come here, sweetheart,” he said, his hand outstretched.

  “Ronin, what are you—”

  His eyes narrowed. “Just come closer. Listen.”

  She stepped up to him and he pulled her closer, his hands on her hips as hers landed on his chest. Devin’s skin tingled everywhere his body contacted hers. His lips brushed a burning trail across her forehead before he rested his cheek just above her ear. He started to sway, a small turn, a slow step and another turn.

  “Ronin, what the hell…?” she trailed off.

  “Shhhhh, just listen,” he whispered in her ear.

  It took a minute for her brain to catch on, but Don Henley’s voice began singing The Last Worthless Evening, and the words slowly registered to her as they drifted through the speakers in the store. As he danced her slowly in the aisle, one of his hands slipped from her hip to slide up her back, pulling her even closer. Devin’s hands rested on his shoulders as he pulled back to gaze down at her.

  “I don’t understand. What are you doing?” Devin asked quietly.

  “This song,” he whispered, “Joe’s always playing DJ during parties, and the guy hasn’t bought a new CD since we were in the eighth grade. But this song. That first night when you showed up at my house for a party, this was playing when I first saw you.”

  Overcome by this admission, she could only look at him with her mouth gaping open. Unsure of what to say, she rested her forehead against his chest, letting the lyrics wash over her. From time to time, Ronin’s voice, barely a rumble in his chest, barely a breath, would almost form the words of the song… entreating her to give him a chance.

  A little, old lady appeared at the end of the aisle, pushing her cart towards them. Seeing their quiet rhythmic steps, she smiled sweetly, and turned back around, heading to a different aisle. Ronin continued to sway to the music, pulling her along with him until they moved as one person, and the lyrics continued to echo through Devin’s mind.

  The song ended entirely too soon, and Ronin pulled back somewhat, cupping her cheek and softly kissing her on the lips. He took a half-step back, looking at her, as though he was trying to gauge her thoughts. In that moment, that look in his eyes—her spirit screamed at her to get her heart off the shelf.

  Fuck baseball…

  “We should go,” she whispered breathlessly, unable and unwilling to pull her gaze from his.

  Ronin glanced over her shoulder. “There’s the Tabasco,” he said softly with a smile, reaching over her head and grabbing a bottle. Devin’s body and mind remained frozen in the sweet moment as Ronin picked up the basket. Standing straight, he slid his other arm around her waist, tucking his fingers lightly into the waistband of her skirt, and guided her towards the check stand.

  Chapter 15 – Don’t Pull Back

  They sat on Ronin’s couch eating pizza out of the box and watched The Expendables 2, which, in Ronin’s mind was far superior to the first. Every major action star from the past couple decades together in one movie. Quite the appropriate choice for Ronin, really. He wasn’t exactly the kind to go for something mushy and lovey-dovey. The guy sorta made Chuck Norris and Sly-Rocky-Rambo look meek.

  Devin picked up their napkins and the pizza box as she walked into the kitchen. She put the leftover pizza in the fridge and grabbed a couple bottles of beer before she closed the door. As she sat sideways on the couch facing Ronin, she leaned her shoulder up against the back. He looked down at her, and she handed him one of the bottles. Twisting the top off, he handed it back to her, making Devin smile at his chivalry, before he reached for the second one. He took a couple sips, his eyes on the movie, and Devin studied him closely. His smile. The way his eyes crinkled in the corner when he laughed. The way he slid his tongue along his lips after taking a sip of his beer. Goosebumps shot down her arms.

  Ronin glanced over to see Devin watching him and not the movie. The dim light in the room made his eyes glow with a luminescence that hypnotized her. Her mouth went dry, and her heart rate picked up as his expression began to change. His eyesight shifted momentarily to the slight rise and fall of her chest, and she could almost feel his gaze touching her skin. He audibly groaned at the slight tremble of her lips.

  “You okay, honey?” he huskily asked.

  Devin lowered her gaze for a minute and then looked back up at him. “You were right,” she finally said in a low voice. Ronin looked at her quizzically, unsure exactly where she was going with this, but he didn’t speak. He waited for her to continue and, before long, she did. “Letting go, moving on—it means I have to accept that it’s really over with Jake. That I need to cut that last string; that last tie that keeps dragging me along. As long as I keep hoping he might want me back, this shit will never stop.” Devin took a deep breath and looked down. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But it is really over,” she exhaled with a shaky breath and looked back into his eyes. “I’m ready to let go.”

  Ronin’s breath caught and his gaze became intense. “Honey,” he said softly, “what is it you’re getting at?”

  Devin reached for his bottle and set it, and hers, on the small table beside the couch. Biting her lip, she raised her eyes back to his. “I want… this.” She motioned between the two of them. “You and me.”

  Ronin froze while the words she barely whispered registered. “You sure?”

  Devin nodded almost imperceptibly, feeling a tingle of desire course through her.

  “Because I will stop if you ask me to,” he said quietly, clenching his eyes shut, and then his hazel gaze met hers again, burning intensely with need. “But, honey, it’s starting to take everything I have to pull back.”

  She could barely breathe as she turned away from his piercing gaze for a mo
ment. Watching her hand as it moved to rest on his knee, she rose gently and reached across him with her other hand. Her heart fluttered as she pushed his arms to his sides. In a fluid motion, she slid her leg over him, climbing onto his lap to face him, flush up against him. Her breath grew choppy as her hands rose to caress his stubbly cheeks. Her lips drew towards his.

  “Don’t pull back,” she whispered a hair’s breadth from his lips. “I need this. I need…” The words evaporated in her throat as she focused on his lips, so she simply touched them with her own. Softly, slowly, she kissed him. For a moment, she feared he would push her away. And then his mouth moved faintly against hers. His tongue grazed her lips, and he turned his head to deepen the kiss. For the first time in forever, everything felt so incredibly right.

  “You,” she exhaled into his mouth. “I need… you.”

  Her lips met his again with a bruising force, and one of his hands slid up her back, pausing at the base of her neck, and then tangled in her hair as it gripped her tighter. The other rested on her hip, clenching feverishly. Devin moaned and unconsciously pressed harder against him, his hands gripping her more tightly in response.

  She pulled back somewhat, looking at him with a heated gaze. For a moment, his eyes showed a wary vulnerability, as though he anticipated her following her usual pattern, coming onto him before pulling away. His left hand fell from the nape of her neck to rest on her hip, mirroring the right.

  Breathing heavily, she slowly reached down to the hem of her shirt, and pulled it over her head. His eyes darkened and his breath caught. She slipped her hand behind her back, releasing the hooks of her bra, and slowly pulled it off as well. His hands drifted to the bare skin of her thighs, holding on so tightly that she was sure there would be dark bruises the next day.

  “Please, don’t pull back,” she repeated softly as she slipped her shaking fingers through his short hair, pulling his lips back to hers. She could feel the conflict in him, the tremble that ran through him, as she kissed him. Her fingers slipped to the buttons on his shirt, deftly undoing them and baring his chest. She pulled him closer to her, away from the back of the couch as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down to his elbows, trapping them close to his sides.

  Devin wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, skin to skin. The coarse hair of his chest feathered against the silky softness of her breasts, her nipples aching where they rubbed up against him. Still, his hands remained locked at her hips, his mind unwilling to give in. She had led him here before and had always pulled back, always left him painfully wanting her. A moment of shame burned through her as she thought of her callous actions and his gun-shy response.

  Not this time though. This time, she wanted him with every fiber of her being.

  Her hands fluttered down from his neck as she reverently kissed him, her fingers caressing each smooth ripple of muscle from his shoulders to his waist, feeling him tense beneath her as she began to work the fly of his jeans. Her lips left his to travel across his jaw, over to his ear. “Please,” she whispered again. “I want this. I want you.”

  “Fuck, honey. I’m right here for you,” he muttered softly. “I’ve been here… for you, for so long.”

  Her fingers began to unfasten the fly of his jeans, slowly releasing him. She kissed and suckled and nibbled at the cords of his neck as she worked him free and stroked his length, growing braver and feeling the need build inside her. Ronin jerked a fraction and strained against the confines of the shirt that held his arms immobile. Groaning harshly, his hands inched their way along the edge of her skirt, baring more of her skin in their wake.

  She rose up a little on her knees as one of her hands pulled aside her panties. Her eyes held his as she used the other hand to position him at her entrance. Slowly, she sank down on him. His moan and the clench of his fingers into her thighs set her on fire as he filled her, impaled her, made her whole.

  She was his, truly possessed by him. Finally.

  Using the muscles in her thighs, Devin began to gently raise and lower her body, rocking against him very slowly to feel every sensation gained from his hard length as it slid so intimately inside her. She struggled to choke back breathy sobs, but couldn’t contain the sounds coming from her throat as she begged and pleaded for him to move with her. His hands slid around to grip her backside almost painfully, and he began to guide her into a slow rhythm, meeting her gentle thrusts.

  “Oh fuck,” she mumbled against his neck. “You feel so… Oh, God… fuck me.”

  One of Ronin’s hands slipped out of the restraining shirt and reached up to cradle her jaw, pulling her mouth back to his. “God, baby,” he breathed into her. “If you stop, it’s gonna kill me.” His other hand stayed down at the curve of her ass, pulling her more tightly against him. She rolled her hips once, twice, and Ronin’s head fell back on the couch with the agonizing potency of the sensation.

  “Dev… Jesus Christ, Dev,” he groaned.

  Her own head fell back on her shoulders, pushing her breasts forward as her body clenched around him. Ronin opened his eyes, and he leaned forward a bit. His lips fell upon her nipple, sucking it firmly into his mouth and causing a gasp to fly out of Devin’s throat. Ronin’s hand slipped down between them, touching the exquisite spot where they were joined. His thumb teased her clit, and his hand massaged them both with the surrounding moisture as she pushed up and down on his aching cock.

  “Ronin,” she exhaled. “oh, please… don’t stop.” Devin’s muscles began to tense and tighten, her entire body gripping him as they moved together. Her fingernails raked across his shoulders as her head fell forward. Her body went rigid, and then she exploded into waves of tremulous pleasure, wracked with fierce jolts.

  She vaguely felt Ronin shift, lifting her easily, using his arm to lower her to the coffee table. Never breaking contact, he began to pound furiously into her. Still riding the waves of her orgasm, she felt another one building deep inside her as he stroked against her. He shifted her just a little, and the new angle of his penetration tore a long, loud cry from her throat. She felt a new and incredibly strong pressure begin to emanate from her core.

  “Look at me, sweetheart,” Ronin breathed.

  Devin’s eyes opened to see him above her, gazing down at her as he worked her over, picking up speed, driving into her harder with each thrust. Her muscles clenched deep inside, and tremors began to build intensely inside her. His breath stuttered, his eyes locked on her, and she curled into him, shaking wildly, shamelessly screaming his name into his shoulder. With a groan, she felt a shudder run through Ronin’s body, and felt the warmth of his climax surge into her.

  They lay there trembling, attempting to catch their breath. Devin luxuriated in the sensitivity he had evoked from her. She had never come undone so vehemently, like her entire body was shaking apart and bursting into a million bright stars. Why hadn’t they done this sooner?

  Ronin chuckled, and she realized her question had been out loud. “I tried, honey. I knew it would be like this.” He raised his head and looked down at her lying on the coffee table below him. He nuzzled the hair from her eyes. “Every time I kissed you, every time you trembled at my touch, I knew. And every time you pulled away… fuck, I thought I was dying.”

  He lifted off her, wrenching another sharp breath from her as he slipped out of her tender swollen flesh. He lifted her up with him back to the couch, settling her still straddling him on his lap. She felt limp, sated, a-fucking-mazing.

  “Well,” she breathed out, “I’m a fucking idiot. That was incredible.”

  “Honey, you were worth the wait,” he murmured with a smile. “But I am in no way done with you tonight.”

  Ronin scooted her hips back slightly and tucked himself back into his jeans, leaving the fly undone. Then he pulled her more closely up against him and stood with her legs wrapped around his waist, carrying her draped over him back to his bedroom. Beside his bed, he slid her body down the front of him until her feet
touched the floor. Then, reaching behind her, he unfastened her skirt, all the while nibbling slightly at the delicious spot just behind her ear, exploring the delicate curve of her neck. A tingling vibration fluttered through her as Devin felt Ronin pushed her skirt down her hips until it fell to the floor.

  Dropping his lips to her collarbone, they delved a little lower towards the swell of her breast, and Devin arched her back to allow him access. His tongue teased the skin around her nipple, causing it to harden with aching anticipation. His hands slid up to both her breasts, firmly cupping them as his lips caressed back and forth across the soft flesh, skirting the aching buds. Devin’s fingers traced the heavy musculature of his arms, urging his hands towards her nipples.

  “Ronin, please,” she whimpered.

  “Mmm, not yet, honey,” Ronin murmured against her skin between kisses and slight nips of his teeth. “This time, I want to savor every bit of you.”

  Devin’s nails clenched into his solid forearms, and her eyes closed tightly, as though she was unable to fully take in both the sight and the feel of him taunting her body. His left hand slid behind her, pulling her closer as his lips found the skin on the underside of her breast. She gasped at the sensation. Putting all her weight on one leg, she lifted the other to slide up his side and hook around his waist. The wetness of her panties pressed against his abdominal muscles, forcing a soft growl from Ronin’s throat. His hands slid along her tense body, exploring every bit of her skin as his lips and tongue trailed along behind—across smooth valley between her breasts, the fine skin just above her navel, and back up to her collar bone.

  “Ronin,” she begged again with a sharp breath.

  “Shhhhh…” And his lips again circled her breasts, leaving her nipples painfully tight and unassuaged. “I could do this forever.”

  His hand began to drift down her back and slipped beneath her panties to cup her ass, squeezing lightly as he palmed it and mimicked the motions and rhythm of his other hand and his mouth on her breast. Devin’s entire body swayed from the passion he elicited in her, and he guided her back slightly, taking the tiny step that brought them closer to his bed. His hand left the curve of her backside to nudge her hips back a little more, pushing slightly and lowering her to the mattress.