A Sugar Daddy’s Secret

by Kathleen Hill

  Mason smiled back and said, “I try hard to keep mine. Can I come in? I don’t particularly like the way I’m being looked at.”

  Samantha stepped back and let him enter. She shut the heavy door and slammed the lock into place. “It’s a bad neighborhood. I keep the door locked and when I go to bed I shove the dresser in front of it. I also keep a baseball bat by the nightstand, just in case. It’s the only place I could afford. Diapers and formula are more expensive than I imagined. I wasted too much money staying in a nice place the first two weeks.”

  “Well, my news should change that issue. I found you a job. It’s not anything spectacular, but it will pay for diapers and formula. The truck stop needs a waitress who is also willing to wash dishes. It pays fairly well and you’ll get tips. Are you willing to give it a try?”

  “What about Alyssa?” she asked. “Does it pay enough for daycare and a place to live?”

  “It’s enough to pay for this place, but not daycare. I don’t think you should stay here anyway. I have a better solution. It’s unconventional and may cause some turmoil in both our lives. However, we can weather the storm for Alyssa’s sake. I inherited a great big house from my parents. It has plenty of room for you and Alyssa,” Mason proudly exclaimed.

  “Oh, no! I can’t do that. You’re going to be a priest. People would get the wrong idea, especially with my past reputation. Thanks for the offer, but I’ll find another way,” Samantha retorted.

  “I didn’t mean you would live alone with me. My grandmother lives there too. She’s lonely for company and would gladly keep Alyssa while you work,” Mason explained.

  “I could never ask that of her or you. I don’t want charity. I need to pay my way,” Samantha admonished.

  “I didn’t say anything about charity. You would rent a room for you, one for Alyssa, and a bathroom. It would cost the same as this place, but safer and cleaner. As for childcare, grandmother can’t wait to hold a baby again. Just let her tell you stories about the good old days and it will be more than enough payment. She needs a new audience. I’ve heard them all repeatedly,” Mason answered.

  “What about the priest and the congregation? They will think the worst, no matter how innocent things are.”

  “We’ll hold our heads high and ignore the gossip. Go to work, care for Alyssa and come to services. It will take some time, but eventually they will get to know the person I see inside you. Grandmother and I will defend you. Stop arguing and say you’ll give it a chance,” Mason implored.

  Samantha took a deep breath, looked around the small, shabby room, glanced at her sweet daughter and said, “When do I start work? I want out of here as soon as possible.”

  “You start tomorrow. Your shift is from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. It’s a busy time of day. They’re throwing you into the fire. Do you think you can handle it?”

  “I have to, don’t I? It’s the best choice for now. Maybe, I can work on getting my GED and find a better job later,” she replied.

  “That’s the spirit! I knew you were a fighter. Let’s get you packed up and out of this grim place. I’m taking you home to a fried chicken dinner and chocolate cake. We don’t want to keep grandmother waiting,” Mason said.

  Samantha opened a dresser drawer and pulled out some baby clothes. She stuffed them in a plastic grocery bag, then added her few pieces of clothing from another drawer. She went into the bathroom and came back with shampoo, a toothbrush and toothpaste. “All that’s left are the diapers, the portable crib and Alyssa. I carry the rest of my life in my oversized purse. I even have our birth certificates in there with baby toys and formula.”

  It was a sadly small number of belongings. It touched Mason’s heart to see how she had sacrificed in order to keep her baby fed and put a roof over her head. Things would be better for them from now on. He was sure of it. They were no longer alone in this world. He would fight for their rights and aid Samantha on her journey to redemption. His priest had been correct in one respect. Samantha had definitely gotten under his skin.

  Chapter 4

  Samantha’s feet were killing her. Being a waitress at a busy truck stop wasn’t easy. She was constantly moving between tables, the food pass through and the sink. She took orders, delivered them to the customers and raced to the back room to wash pots and pans in between. She never complained regardless of how badly her feet ached. She was earning an honest living, one she didn’t have to be ashamed of. It had taken her a while to become proficient at the job, but after a week she finally had the hang of it. The truck drivers were a bunch of flirts, yet always took no for an answer. They were kindhearted and left great tips, even when she rebuffed their passes.

  It was a whole new world for Samantha. Mason’s grandmother had welcomed her and the baby with open arms. Their rooms were open and airy. The furniture was modern and comfortable. Alyssa was given the former nursery. It held a lovely crib, rocking chair and changing table. It was also filled with toys. Mason claimed he had played with most of them as a child. The wooden rocking horse showed how much it had been loved with its worn seat and threadbare mane. Alyssa’s eyes lit up when they had entered the room. She had reached out for a one-eyed teddy bear and now never let it out of her sight. The baby simply adored Mason and his grandmother. Samantha was beginning to feel the same way. The house was always clean. There was always plenty of food and everyone was cheerful. It was a far cry from her past life. She had Mason to thank for it all. She needed to give God credit as well. After all, he had given her the nudge to walk into the church where Mason was waiting.

  That thought brought something else to mind. She would have to face the congregation tomorrow. It was a task she dreaded. They had surely heard by now that she was living at Mason’s house and their disapproval would be turned up several notches. They would probably do more than stare this time. Mason had already been admonished by the head priest, but he refused to tell her what had been said. He told her that he ultimately answered only to God for his choices and other opinions didn’t matter. They were fine words, yet she worried about causing trouble for him.

  Mason was having a difficult time reconciling the neighborhood’s attitude toward Samantha with their worship on Sunday. They were taught each week about forgiveness, kindness and love for their fellowman and still warned him to stay away from her whenever he ran into them. They swore she wasn’t the type to change and would soon grow tired of hard work. They fully expected to see her turn back to her former ways, possibly leaving the baby behind. Mason defended her, using scriptures and his own understanding of her. She would never leave her child, not for all the gold in the world.

  Sunday morning, Samantha discovered a brand-new, handsewn dress in the nursery for Alyssa. It was pink and white, covered in lace and ruffles. There were satin shoes to match and a lace headband as well. These treasures had obviously come from Mason’s grandmother. Dressed in her finery, Alyssa clapped her tiny hands. She knew she was beautiful and loved by all.

  Samantha gave Mason’s grandmother a hug and kiss with tears streaming down her face. She admitted, “I have never had anything so perfect to give Alyssa. Thank you for the love you put into every stitch.”

  “Stop that, my dear. It was my pleasure. I haven’t had a child to spoil in a very long time. She does look like an angel, doesn’t she? I have one thing to ask in return. I want you both to call me Grammy. Mason has called me that all his life and I love it. It would do my soul good to hear it from the pair of you.”

  Samantha wanted to have a grandmother more than anything. She couldn’t refuse the kindness in the woman’s eyes. She replied, “Okay, we can do that. I hope you don’t come to regret it after we get to the church.”

  “Nonsense! I make up my own mind about people and you are special. Nothing anyone says can change that. Words can hurt, but they only change us if we allow it. Hold that lovely head high and let’s go. Mason left an hour ago,” Grammy soothed.

  The church was crowded as usual. All eyes turned to watch Sa
mantha walk in with Grammy. Most of the faces showed hostility and disbelief. Samantha was surprised to see that some appeared friendly. That was a turn of events she hadn’t foreseen. They found open seats near the middle of the room and it made Samantha feel like she was on display. Grammy patted her hand and whispered, “Just be yourself. We’re not here for people to judge us.”

  The sermon covered how sinful ways could sneak up on us, cloaked in the guise of good deeds. Samantha knew in her heart it was meant to be about her. Inwardly, she cringed. On the outside, she continued to smile and take in every word to review it later. She could find something in them to guide her path if she looked past the reprimand.

  Grammy’s friends stopped to say hello after the service concluded. They were slightly reserved, though friendly when meeting Samantha. She took courage and hope from their attitude, until she heard the murmurs behind her. A strident voice referred to her as a Jezebel. Another called her a harlot. A third used the term fallen woman. Samantha was set to run from the church when Grammy and her friends turned on the speakers. Grammy proclaimed, “Perfection is a difficult thing to maintain. Your efforts are unfruitful, I fear. Name calling and judgement show just how imperfect you are. Why don’t you tend to your own sins and stop looking to find some in others?”

  One of Grammy’s friends added, “I seem to recall that you were married to someone else when you became involved with your present husband, Mira. And Annabelle, your son has children by three different women. As for you, Clara, don’t even get me started on your past. It would frighten the children.”

  Samantha barely held back her laughter. How wonderful it was to have someone to defend her.

  Chapter 5

  Mason ran his hands over his short hair. It was a habit from his military days. It always brought him clarity when he was in a confusing and dangerous spot. There weren’t any guns pointed his way or a literal minefield to maneuver through, but his way of life was in danger and a mental minefield lay before him. Only one month ago, Samantha had stepped into the church and caused him to begin questioning everything he believed. He still trusted in God and she had come to have faith in his power as well. It was human failings that caused this new doubt. Despite Samantha’s excellent behavior, her love for Alyssa and her work ethics, some of the worshipers held on to their bigoted notions. It was infuriating. At least his priest had changed his tune somewhat. He didn’t look upon Samantha as a predator anymore, however he remained obstinately against her living at Mason’s.

  Mason could hear the rain pounding on the roof and the gentle squeaking of the porch swing. Alyssa must be teething again. Whenever the baby was too fussy to rest, Samantha took her outside and sat in the swing. The swaying of the swing calmed Alyssa better than any lullaby. They were probably chilly with the rain coming down, so he decided to take one of Grammy’s afghans to cover them. He found Samantha contentedly holding a drowsy baby and watching the birds splash in the rain puddles. His heart gave the same little jump it always did when he saw her. That was another thing that confused him. He had taken a silent vow of celibacy to begin his journey of becoming a priest, yet he couldn’t deny his interest in Samantha. No one had touched his soul in this way since he had left for war and come home with its horrors stuck permanently in his brain.

  Samantha gave him a grateful smile for covering her and Alyssa with the afghan, then shifted so he could join them on the swing. “You look pensive today. Does the rain have you considering deep thoughts?” she asked.

  “I love listening to the rain on the roof,” he replied. “It’s the other parts of my life that made me delve so deeply. Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it all out eventually.”

  “That’s not fair,” she argued. “You were there for me when I needed a sounding post. Let me be one for you. Talk, I have plenty of time and the rain won’t judge you.”

  Her attempt at making him feel comfortable brought a reluctant smile to his otherwise solemn face. “Okay, you asked for it. My past and my present are causing a turmoil inside me. I thought I had my life figured out, now I’m not so sure.”

  Samantha cocked her head sideways to see his expression and said, “Tell me about your past. You know all my secrets. Let me in so I can help.”

  Mason sighed heavily and confided, “After college I felt as if my life was useless. Sitting in an office day after day wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my life. I needed perspective and for some unknown reason thought I would find it in the military. What I actually found was pain and misery. There were villages full of starving and diseased children who had never harmed anyone and yet they were being destroyed along with the enemy. One minute, your best buddy was walking beside you and the next he lay on the ground, blown to bits. Women hid in caves to give birth while the world around them was exploding. Some of the caves collapsed, sealing them inside. I did manage to dig one open only to have the woman shoot at me in response. When I came home, I just wanted peace. I found it in prayers. God got me through the nightmares. I felt I owed him for that. So I decided to become a priest. I gave him my vow of celibacy a couple of months ago. Now, I’m questioning my choice. He didn’t ask for that sacrifice. He only wants my love and devotion to his word. I will give that without regret or indecision. I’m just beginning to think the priesthood isn’t for me. I can’t handle the bigotry I see among the congregation. I can only handle myself. I’m more of a follower than a leader.”

  Samantha smoothed the frown lines from his brow and reminded him, “You were there for me. You gave me hope and forgiveness when I needed it the most and no one else cared. I’m so sorry you had to see so many awful things during the war. It was more than any man should endure, but it made you sympathetic, kind and understanding. It wiped out any preconceived or prejudice ideas you may have had. You’re a savior whether or not you become a priest. The bigotry others show will make them answer to God. You can’t change their hearts; however, we can pray that God does.”

  “You’ve come a long way since the day you walked into the church. I’m proud of you. There’s another problem. I find myself drawn to you more and more each day. I shouldn’t allow it to happen. I’m supposed to control those types of feelings. It’s impossible with you. Something in your eyes and the soft smile you gave me on that first day called to my soul. I’ve tried to brush it aside and keep my vow, but I don’t want to anymore.” Mason leaned forward, took Samantha’s face in his hands and softly melded their lips.

  Chapter 6

  Samantha felt a tingle all the way to her toes. Mason’s lips were so warm and soft. It was unlike any kiss she had ever received. Mason wasn’t taking from her. He was giving of himself. His lonely heart reached out to hers and begged for a haven, somewhere he could let go of his past and find joy. Samantha let her lips part and her tongue seek his. With a sigh, Mason deepened the kiss and allowed his arms to encircle her. The outside world and the disapproval it held for their relationship disappeared for that one moment in time.

  A tiny hand touched his chest and brought him back to reality. Alyssa’s sweet face peered up at them and she grinned. Mason pulled back and focused his attention on the baby. Guilt overwhelmed him. This child needed a father not a confused man seeking comfort for the desires he shouldn’t have in the first place. He stood and without looking at Samantha admitted, “I shouldn’t have done that. You and Alyssa need more than I can give. I thought I was healed and had found my future. I was so wrong. Until I figure it all out, I swear I won’t touch you again.” He turned and fled.

  Samantha was dazed and confused. She didn’t know what to think. Mason was everything she had ever dreamed of. His kiss had shattered the wall she had built around her heart when she began using her body to provide food and shelter for herself. Falling in love had never entered her mind, but here she was aching for a man who had promised himself to God. She didn’t want to be the one that caused him to break his vow, yet she didn’t think she could go on without more of his kisses. She hugged Alyssa close a
nd said, “Baby girl, what are we going to do? I think I love Mason. If I’m not mistaken, he loves us too. Do I stay and fight for him or do I go and leave him to his vows? How do I find happiness for all three of us? Oh, how I wish you could talk and give me some advice.” She bowed her head and prayed for the answer.

  Mason sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. He begged God for some insight and forgiveness. He knew it was a mixed message, but God could see into his soul and understand the confusion. Footsteps broke into his prayers and he lifted his head, fearing Samantha had come to confront him over the misguided kiss. It wasn’t her. Grammy was at the counter pouring a glass of juice. One glance at his ravaged face had her rushing to his side. “What is it, dear boy? What’s happened?”

  “I’m lost again,” he replied. “The answers I found when I came home from war weren’t the right ones. I don’t know how to fix it without a huge upheaval. Do I go with my heart or keep my promise? Which way is the best for everyone? I just don’t know anymore.”

  “You love Samantha, don’t you? I saw this coming. If it wasn’t her, it would have eventually been someone else. That nasty war broke you down. You needed to heal and the church did that for you, but you felt obligated to give it all of you in return. I should have stopped you. It was never the right decision for a man with so much love to give. I was just so glad to see you come out of your depression that I ignored the future consequences,” Grammy explained.

  “I made a vow, Grammy. I promised celibacy and gave my future to God. I can’t take that back, can I? I’ve already screwed up. I kissed Samantha and it felt so wonderful. But, if I continue in this manner it could hurt all of us. I can’t lead her on. She has a child to consider. I don’t want to be like the men who used her and then tossed her aside. What do I do? You said that you saw this coming. Do you see what’s next as well?” Mason asked.