She was supposed to feel... something.
Instead, she had been ridiculously polite. Even kind to the woman that could be her replacement for all she knew. The only anger he'd seen had been at his slightly rude greeting.
Was it possible that she had truly felt nothing for him? At least, nothing more than a physical response? If you'd asked him yesterday, he would have said no, she had to have felt something. Now? He wasn't so sure.
But he was damn well going to find out.
He parked in the driveway, heading through the garage and hitting the button to close it out of sheer habit. He forewent knocking, instead walking right in, hoping the element of surprise might work to his advantage.
When he saw Gia curled up on the floor, sobs wrenching her shoulders, every muscle in her body shaking as she cried, the anger that had been his constant companion since she left dissipated into nothing more than hot air.
Shock tore through him. He'd never seen Gia cry. Over anything. Beyond that, he'd never seen anyone cry like this. These were tears of a broken heart, a broken soul.
And this was his fault.
He fell to his knees, needing to find a way to comfort her. He scooped her up, settling her onto his lap. Bringing her head to his shoulder, she curled into him and he began to stroke her hair, murmuring words he hoped would calm her.
* * * *
She felt Josh's hands lifting her, pulling her up onto his legs, offering comfort just with his presence.
The nonsensical words he was saying weren't even penetrating through the sound of her own sobs, but she could hear the tone; comforting, soothing. Though he was the cause of her pain, she took the strength he was offering, letting him comfort her. She curled into his chest, breathing in the scent of him with every gasping breath. She felt safe here.
Her tears ran down her face, smearing her makeup, makeup that she was in turn wiping onto Josh's shirt.
"Ssshhh, Gia. It's okay, baby. I'm here. It's going to be okay, I promise."
He was still murmuring softly in her ear, stroking her hair, pressing soft kisses against her head, her cheek, her neck.
"Aaahh, baby you're killing me. I'm so sorry."
Finally, after God only knows how long, she felt the sobs receding, leaving in their place long gasping breaths. But, she could breathe again. Her chest didn't hurt anymore. Her throat was raw, her eyes burned, and her mouth felt like she'd eaten sawdust, but her chest didn't hurt.
Licking her dry lips, she wanted to ask why he was here, to say thank you, maybe to yell at him. She pulled her face back to look up into his eyes, only then noticing just how bad his shirt looked.
"Oh... I'm so sorry. I think I ruined your shirt." If his shirt looked like that, she could only imagine what her face must look like. She sat back a little more, trying to wipe away the tears still running down her face, and hopefully the smeared mascara and eyeliner she knew must be all the way down her cheeks.
Josh fiddled with the buttons, tugged at the waist and finally got his shirt off, showing the white T-shirt he always wore under his button downs. Twisting the shirt around until there was a soft piece of cloth, he reached for her.
"Here, let me."
He gently wiped beneath her eyes, smearing even more makeup all over what she knew had to be an expensive dress shirt.
"Josh, wait. Don't make it worse. Maybe they can still clean it."
"I don't give a fuck about the shirt, Gia."
The slight growl to his tone put an end to that line of discussion. She let him clean her face, even letting him wipe her runny nose without further protest.
When he was done, she started to move away, to climb off his lap, but he settled his hands against her hips and legs, holding her there.
"I'm sure you're wondering what all that was about..." she began, only to be interrupted.
"Not really. You love me."
She froze, that horrible tight sensation coming back in a rush. She started to deny it, to tell him it was just the holidays and too much pressure, and anything else she could think of to deny the truth.
He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes before he said anything else. "It's okay, Gia. It's a good thing. Because I love you too."
* * * *
He could actually watch the panic hit her as soon as he said the word ‘love’. She was terrified. But she did love him.
She kept arguing, trying to scramble off his lap, but he wouldn't let her run away from him again. "I know you love me, baby. You've already told me once, and the tears tonight just confirm it. What I want to know now is why it scares you."
She quit squirming, but she still didn't answer him. After a minute, he prodded again. "Come on, Gia. Why are you so afraid?"
"I told you I love you?" she asked instead.
He nodded in answer, rubbing a thumb across her cheek.
"When?"
"One night at my house. You woke up in the middle of the night, or I guess early morning. We made love... slow and sweet. When it was over, you told me you loved me, right before you dozed off again."
"I thought that was a dream," she murmured, more to herself than to him.
"I figured that out. Which is why I never pushed. But this has got to stop, Gia. You're obviously not happier apart, and I'm a fucking mess. So, please... just tell me what's really going on so we can fix this." He knew his voice sounded raw and a little desperate, but since that was exactly how he felt he couldn't do a damn thing to change it.
"But you can't love me, Josh. I'm not good for you."
"Gia, what the hell are you talking about?"
Chapter 42
He'd already seen her sobbing like a maniac, she had already left tears and makeup all over his clothes, and apparently she'd already told him she loved him. What was one more embarrassment at this point?
Time to come clean.
"Josh, that's what I was trying to show you at the ball. The reason that I wanted to keep our relationship a secret for as long as it lasted. You and I don't fit together... I'm not right for you. I don't belong in your world."
"Is that what you think? Honestly?"
She nodded, afraid to meet his eyes.
"Bullshit."
"What? It's the truth, Josh."
"No, it's bullshit. Why do you think you don't fit in 'my world'? And what exactly is this world I live in that you don't?"
He sounded genuinely confused. And angry. She took a deep breath, trying to make her thoughts slow down long enough that she could form a coherent sentence.
"Josh, you come from a loving home, a family with a history to be proud of. You know my family history. The only reason we ever met is because my mother made me promise that I would work hard at school. It was the only way I would ever get out. And I did. I got out."
He opened his mouth to respond, but she held up a hand to cut him off. He wanted to know, so she would tell him. "You live in a world of lawyers, corporate executives, country clubs and limos. Your friends either are or will be doctors, lawyers, judges... hell, maybe even Senators or Governors. Having a relationship with someone with my background would be bad enough, but throw in the tattoos, piercings and weird hair colors, and it would hold you back. I would hold you back. We don't have a future together. We never did. I've always known that. I just wanted to end it before we got any more involved than we already were."
"Can I speak now?" Gia nodded, and Josh continued. "If you recall, you told me about your family when we first met back in college. While I wish that I could change that, to take away the residual pain, I can't. And from my perspective it has only made you stronger, helped to make you into the beautiful and amazing woman you are. If anything, I've always thought more highly of you for overcoming your past when so many people wouldn't have even tried. As for people's opinions... I've lived my life trying to be what other people expected. It wasn't until I finally made a decision for me, took a risk that I wanted, that I ever truly felt alive and happy. I know I was engaged to Deb,
and I know that you said it was a mistake, but kissing you was the best mistake I've ever made."
He leaned in and kissed her cheek, her forehead, her nose. Soft little kisses, that nonetheless started little flutters within her belly. He landed a little butterfly kiss against her lips before pulling back.
"Gia, you make me happy. Saying that you and I don't fit is absolutely crazy. That's like me saying we don't belong together because I don't look like Aaron. As far as I can tell, we're perfect for each other. Everyone else sees that... why can't you?"
"But, what if you break my heart?"
"Oh, baby... is that what this is about, really?"
She nodded, one silent tear rolling down her cheek.
* * * *
Josh couldn't believe that she thought he would hurt her. "Look, I can't predict the future, but I can tell you that I have loved you for eight years. I don't expect that will ever change. I will never deliberately hurt you. Please, trust me. Trust us."
When she looked at him, her face still swollen and blotchy from her tears, he only had one more question for her. "You already broke my heart, Gia. The day you walked out of my bed, out of my life, while I slept. And yet, here I am. Can it really be any harder to stay together, than it has been to be apart these last few weeks?"
He could see the second she had reached a decision. Her eyes cleared, looking resolute instead of scared. A second later and her lips settled on his.
While their kisses had always been passionate, this felt different somehow. All the barriers Gia had kept in place were finally down. She was open, letting him feel her need.
It had been too long since he'd had her in his arms, and his body responded too quickly, leaping ahead to the conclusion rather than letting him enjoy the buildup. He found the zippers on the sides of her boots, pulling and tugging until her feet were free. Gia helped him, squirming and wiggling until her jeans were off.
She spun around, lifting off his legs, only to resettle herself so she was straddling his lap. Her lips immediately rejoined his, almost as if drawn by a magnet.
He tried to slow the kiss, nipping and licking with slow, teasing caresses of his tongue against hers. But Gia was whimpering, writhing against him. His slacks offered little resistance, the thin fabric letting him feel the heat radiating from her core.
If he wanted any chance at all to take this slow, he needed to make sure he was in control. Pulling his lips off hers, he settled his palm against the back of her head and rolled to the side at the same time. Once he was lying on top of her, he grabbed her arms and yanked them up above her head, trapping both her wrists within one hand.
"We are going to take this slow, baby."
"No, not like last time. I need you too much."
He groaned; her voice, thick with desire, brought a surge of blood straight through his cock. "Not like last time. I just want to enjoy you a little first."
He took a moment to strip off the rest of her clothing, leaving her completely nude before him. While she lay there, watching him hungrily, he stripped off his own clothes before settling beside her.
"God, you look amazing," she murmured, running her hands over his chest.
He laughed a little, a wry kind of humor. "Yeah. The only way I could avoid beating some poor soul to a bloody pulp was to take it out on my heavy bag."
She kissed his chest, gently taking one nipple between her teeth and pulling. His breath hissed out between his teeth. She pulled back with a little lick to soothe his nipple, whispering, "I'm sorry."
He tilted her chin up to meet his eyes again. "Me too, Gia. I'm so sorry. We should have talked about this a long time ago."
She was already shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. We're here now."
God, he loved her. This time when his lips met hers, it was with all the desire he had buried for the last two months.
* * * *
His kisses turned fierce, finally letting out the fire she had come to expect from him. The fire she needed.
Her body responded as if they'd only made love yesterday. The last several weeks hadn't really happened, but had actually been just a bad dream. She knew him, heart and soul. And this time, she knew he was truly hers. He loved her and she loved him.
She let the desire replace the last vestiges of fear, pushing them out so that she felt only him. Safe, warm, loved... and so needy.
He kissed down her belly, soft tender kisses, keeping the pace frustratingly slow, despite her wiggles and moans of encouragement. When his lips reached her core, parting her folds to pull at the little silver bar he found there, her first orgasm rolled in, surprising her with its intensity.
He lapped at her wetness, tasting what he'd wrought with his talented mouth, before moving back up to kiss her. She tasted herself on his lips and tongue, just as he plunged into her.
His thrusts were slow. Long and deep, keeping the pleasure on a slow burn rather than a raging inferno.
Every inch of her skin was covered by every inch of his. The sensuality of touching head to toe brought a level of intensity that was not better, but different than the spankings. She would be hard pressed to ever decide which she liked better.
As she felt her sheath tighten, his pace suddenly ground to a halt, only to resume in a burst of speed as he thrust into her, hard and fast, sending her over the edge into her own pleasure as he released his seed into her.
The words bubbled up inside her, needing to be released as desperately as her body had needed his. "I love you."
He pressed his lips hard against hers, his thrusts slowing, letting her ride out the last of her pleasure.
* * * *
She'd said she loved him. While she was awake. His heart soared at the words. He hadn't realized just how badly he needed to hear her say those words until after she'd said them. Giving one last little thrust, he looked into her eyes.
"Say it again."
She smiled, a secret laugh lighting her hazel eyes, looking green after her tears. "I. Love. You." She punctuated each word with a little kiss.
He rolled off her, pulling her into his arms to keep her close, but not wanting to crush her with his weight.
"One more time."
Now the laugh bubbled over. "I love you, lawyer boy."
He chuckled a little too, pulling her closer to kiss her nose. "It's about damn time you realized it. I love you, too."
Another kiss, a little longer than the others. He ran his hands down her sides, tickling her arms, teasing by one nipple.
Before he could think better of it, he said, "So, marry me."
She froze, going completely still for a second. Just long enough for Josh's heart to come to a stop.
She leaned up on one elbow, grabbing his chin and forcing him to meet her eyes. "Are you serious?"
"I've never been more serious, Gia."
He watched the smile spread across her lips, now red and swollen from his kisses not from tears. After just a second, she burst out, "Then... Yes!"
Epilogue
Gia had been terrified of what Josh's family would think, even going so far as to apologize to his mother that she wasn't 'tall and blonde and perfect' like Josh deserved. His mother had laughed, hugging her closely and telling her that since her son was finally happy, Gia was far more than she could have ever wished for him.
It was the second time he'd seen Gia cry, only these were tears of joy.
Josh had expected a little difficulty from his father, seeing as how he was pretty sure that Gia wasn't in the 'plan'. He had been absurdly shocked when his father had merely laughed and said, “It's about goddamn time.”
Apparently his father had merely been waiting for him to find his own path in life. Or, to 'show a little backbone' as he'd put it. After a good laugh, and some good scotch, his father had told him that there was an inheritance from his grandfather that had been set aside for Josh to use for any business venture he chose.
His great great grandfather had never wanted any Taylor to be stuck in the fam
ily business if that wasn't what they wanted to do. Now, Josh was seriously considering becoming a prosecuting attorney. He and Gia were still discussing it although she told him she would support whatever he wanted to do.
Which is how they ended up with the honeymoon they had planned.
Their April wedding had been beautiful. Gia had managed to take a traditional wedding and still make it her own. Deb and Kelly had both stood up with her, Blake and Scott standing for Josh.
She had looked stunning. Rather than try to hide her tattoos she had worn them proudly, choosing a strapless dress with simple lines. No lace or frills for this bride. She had even put her bridesmaids in red, to match the streaks in her hair.
Now, as he waited for her to change out of her dress and into something more casual to wear for their flight, he contemplated the honeymoon.
He had offered to take her anywhere she wanted to go; Italy, Spain, Ireland, anything tropical. She had opted for Las Vegas. Apparently, there was a private club there that offered lessons.
Lessons in bondage. His Gia thought he might enjoy a little peek inside the world of BDSM. She figured if he wanted to play, he should really know how to play.
So, while their family and friends thought they were heading off for a week of gambling, drinking and sunbathing, they were actually off for a week of exploration. Courtesy of his new wife.
He heard her heels click on the stairs and turned, his breath catching at the sight of her. She was wearing one of those short skirts he loved so much, a pair of tights and thigh high boots. Completely impractical for a plane ride, but perfect for driving him crazy.
As she walked by, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before wiping away the purple lipstick with her thumb, she smiled.
She leaned up to whisper in his ear, "The tights are crotchless. Do you suppose the flight will be long enough we can join the mile high club?"
On a groan, he adjusted his jeans trying to hide his erection, before following her outside to greet the crowd of their friends and family waiting to send them off.
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