Ares

by Heaton, Felicity

  He casually turned the water on. The cool blast did nothing to quell the fire in his veins. He wasn’t sure anything could cool him when it came to her, not even Daimon’s ice.

  He grinned and threw her words back at her. “I want a shower and who the hell are you to stop me?”

  Megan went to squeeze past him. He slid one arm around her waist and pulled her against him, until every delicious wet inch of her pressed into his body. A thrill chased through him, heating his blood another fifty degrees, until he was burning all over.

  “Stay,” he husked, as breathless as she had been, and stared down into her eyes. “I won’t do anything you don’t want... I just want to feel you against me... I just want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?”

  She trembled in his arms and he realised that he was shaking too, his nerves getting the better of him.

  Where was the battle-hardened warrior now?

  He had sworn he would be a kitten for her and he was. Keras was right. She made him weak, stripped his confidence away and left him vulnerable, all of his insecurities exposed to her.

  All of his hopes pinned on her.

  Her throat worked again and he thought she might refuse him, but then she tipped her head up, her eyes dropped to his mouth and her lips parted.

  Ares took that as an invite.

  Heart in his mouth, he swallowed and lowered his lips towards her. They touched his, a barely-there caress. He inhaled sharply and his insides flipped, a strange unsettled feeling filling his chest. Her hands came down on his pectorals, fingers splayed and palms hot against his skin, and she pressed her mouth harder against his.

  He lost it.

  He tilted his head and claimed her mouth on a fierce inhale, sweeping his lips across hers, struggling to keep control as a thousand feelings flooded him, tearing down his strength and leaving him shaking. Her lips danced over his, soft and moist, and when her tongue caressed his lower lip, he couldn’t take it. It was too much, evoking a response that was too intense, overwhelming him and turning his knees to liquid and stopping his heart.

  Divine.

  Ecstasy.

  Her kiss was bliss and everything he needed but couldn’t take.

  He grabbed her waist and shoved her off him, stared down at the tiles beneath his feet and breathed hard, every muscle straining and shaking.

  Gods.

  He pulled in a deep shuddering breath and held it, searching for some calm amongst the storm, needing to get his feelings under control so she didn’t think he was a total freak.

  Or a virgin.

  Hell, he might as well be one. It had been close to three centuries since he had kissed a woman. Enough time to make him lose what skill he might have had and forget the basics.

  “You taste like mint.” He needed to say something, anything, no matter how ridiculous it sounded.

  It was better than panting like a boy wet behind the ears and looking like an idiot.

  “I used your toothbrush. I’m sorry.” She sounded breathless again and not at all sorry, and he liked it and how fired up she was.

  The kiss hadn’t only affected him.

  “It’s almost as though you wanted me to kiss you,” he muttered and lifted his eyes to hers, catching the spark of hunger and truth in them.

  She opened her mouth and he swooped on it.

  He slid his hands down to her backside and groaned at the softness of her, and pulled her close to him again, so all that softness pressed against the hard steel of his body, a perfect contrast that only aroused him further. Her mouth worked against his, her tongue braver than his own was, coming out again to trace his lips in a profoundly erotic way that had him trembling for more.

  He frowned, shifted one hand to the nape of her neck, burrowing his fingers into her brown hair, and kissed her harder. Her tongue brushed his teeth, minty and moist, and he opened for her. The initial touch of their tongues sent a fifty thousand volt shock through him, lighting up every nerve ending and making him moan. He bravely met her tongue, caressing the tip of it with his, and she moaned this time. He tensed and groaned, stroked her tongue with his, wanting to hear her pleasure again.

  Her hands skimmed up his chest and she settled them around his neck, fingers ploughing through his hair, twirling the strands around them and anchoring his mouth to hers.

  He couldn’t resist her. He ground his hips forwards, rubbing his erection against her belly, and she gasped into his mouth.

  Gods, she was dangerous.

  He felt the full force of it now and it hit him hard.

  He wouldn’t be able to stop at just this kiss. This taste of her wouldn’t satisfy his need for the beautiful mortal.

  He wanted more from her.

  He wanted to keep her.

  His duty was to his father, to his world and his own kind. He had sworn to protect the Underworld and his family. No matter how many times he told himself that, it didn’t stop the hunger and need rolling through him, crashing over him and carrying him away.

  Fuck, Megan made him waver, ripped apart his defences and broke down the barriers around his heart. She was dangerous and she would be the death of him if he let things go any further than this, because once he knew all of her, it would only be a matter of time before he fell in love with her.

  How would he ever be able to cope if that happened?

  Tasting her, knowing the feel of her skin and the pleasure of her body, would only damn him and torment him for eternity.

  And she would only leave him.

  He couldn’t bear it.

  Ares broke away from her and grabbed her waist, locking his elbows as she tried to get closer to him and keeping her at a distance.

  The hunger in her eyes slowly died and confusion replaced it.

  “I can’t.” He despised those two words.

  Everything he had ever wanted was right in front of him, within his reach, but he couldn’t take it.

  His power was a part of who he was and that meant he wasn’t himself without it. He had to get it back.

  It didn’t stop the feelings from colliding inside him, pulling him apart. He wanted her so much, even when he knew that it would never work out, that he could never have the forever he needed with her.

  The moment he regained his power, he would lose the ability to touch her.

  It would be torture to remain with her then.

  How long would it be before she left him for another man?

  She would never stay and he would never be content with only being able to see her and not touch her. It would kill them both.

  The gate called him.

  Fuck, he had never been happier to have his duty.

  He needed some space and time to think, and going through the machinations of opening the gate for a Hellspawn would free up his mind for just that.

  More importantly, he needed to let her go.

  “I have to go out.” He forced himself to take a step back and she looked as though that action had been a knife and he had plunged it deep into her heart. Her eyes searched his and he hid nothing from her, hoping that if she saw what he was about to say, it would make it less painful for them both. “I won’t be long. When I come back, I’ll take you home.”

  She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at her feet, and he hated to see her looking vulnerable and small.

  He was such a bastard.

  He sighed and resisted his need to touch her cheek and tell her that things weren’t going to end the way she was imagining because he didn’t have the heart to lie to her, even when he wanted to and wanted to lie to himself at the same time. Gods, he wanted to pretend this would all work out, but it wouldn’t, no matter how fiercely he wanted it to.

  “Be ready to go when I get back.”

  She nodded and it broke his heart.

  Bitter disappointment swept through him, bringing cold in its wake that hardened his heart.

  He had expected her to say something, to fight him on his decision. He had wanted her to fight for him
and tell him things would all work out if he only gave it a chance, that the deep desire he felt for her drummed within her too and they were meant to be together. He had thought she wanted to be with him, her words and her actions an indication that she would be happy here with him if only he could give her basic necessities and that she didn’t want to go home.

  Clearly he had been wrong about her. She didn’t feel the same way as he did.

  She already wanted to leave him.

  He left the shower and towelled off, grabbed his clothes and stalked from the room, unable to take it any longer.

  In less than an hour, she was going to return to her world.

  She was going to leave his forever.

  His chest ached.

  He would never see her again.

  His heart shattered.

  CHAPTER 13

  Ares wrapped his arms around Megan, savouring his last few moments with her, and stepped to the street she had given him. He set her down and held on to her until she opened her eyes and nodded, letting him know that the dizziness had passed.

  Gods, he was an idiot.

  During his time at the gate, he hadn’t been able to clear his head at all. He had thought of her every second, and had somehow convinced himself that when he returned to his apartment he would find her ready to fight him, and she would insist that she wanted to stay with him.

  Instead, he had found her ready to go.

  The upset that had been in her eyes in the shower had been gone too, leaving him wondering whether he had imagined it because he was the one who had been hurt.

  The only time she had spoken was to tell him that she had lost her keys back in the alley the night they had met, which meant he would have to teleport with her again to get her inside her apartment. She didn’t look as though she was up for it. Her pale cheeks and the way she kept swallowing were both warning signs that he couldn’t ignore. If he stepped with her to her apartment, she would throw up or worse.

  “It might be better if we walk up and then you tell me where your spare keys are, or maybe I could open the door from the inside.” He rubbed her shoulders through her dark jumper, unable to resist stealing every moment he had left to touch her, even when it was only killing him.

  She nodded and smiled, and it hit him hard in the chest.

  He released her and turned away, unable to take her smiles or look at her without suffering. He had to do this. It was better to end things now, and not only to spare himself any further pain.

  Maybe it was for the best that she hadn’t fought him and showed no sign of wanting to stay with him or change his mind, because he was finally finding his resolve and the strength to place his duty before his desires. He would get his power back, and life would return to normal.

  Maybe he would even forget about her.

  In a century or so.

  He followed her into her apartment building, an old red brick affair that had seen better days and stood in a neighbourhood that he knew had several mortal gangs affiliated with it. Not the sort of place that he wanted to leave her. It fired every protective instinct he had and only made what he was about to do even harder to stomach.

  They walked up the dimly lit stairs and his gaze caught on each tag on the peeling grey painted walls. There were a few daemon tags amongst the graffiti. Definitely not the sort of place where he wanted to leave her alone and vulnerable. He closed the distance between them, so they were side by side in the narrow stairwell. She glanced up at him but he kept his gaze locked dead ahead, knowing that if he looked into her eyes, he would never find the strength to leave her.

  Her apartment was on the third floor, off a hall that was free of graffiti. It didn’t soothe the savage protective side of him that wanted to whisk her away from this place and take her home.

  He almost laughed at himself.

  She was home.

  She didn’t belong with him, in his apartment. He was kidding himself if he thought that she did.

  “This is me.” Megan stopped in front of a drab wooden door that needed a new coat of white paint. He glanced at her and her look turned awkward. “Not all of us can afford to live in nice places. When you’ve been on the move as much as I have, you learn to compromise.”

  Something dark within him snarled and commanded him to wrap his arms around her and step straight back to his apartment. He beat it into submission. He hated the thought of leaving her here and the thought that she had evidently spent a large part of her life on the road, travelling from one city to the next.

  Why?

  Because she had the power to heal?

  He wanted to ask but doing that would only move him closer to her again, shattering the small distance he had managed to build between them.

  Her gaze briefly met his and he caught the suffering in it, the loneliness and the agonising pain.

  All feelings that he had lived with for so long that they were like family to him, constant companions even when he wished they weren’t.

  She had suffered as badly as he had and it wrenched at him, made him want to hold her close and whisper that she wasn’t alone now because he was right here with her.

  He closed his eyes and stepped inside her apartment instead.

  The door was easy enough to open from the inside, even if he did have to unlock several deadbolts and slip three chains free of their slots. It reassured him that she had protected herself as best she could, but he couldn’t help feeling that it still wasn’t enough.

  If someone wanted to get in, they would, and what would happen then?

  She opened the door and walked past without looking at him, her gaze on the worn carpet. Her apartment was small and dark, with only one window that had a terrific view of a brick wall. He closed the door, slipping all the chains back in place and twisting each lock.

  He could add a few wards. It might make her feel safer and it would make him feel a damn sight better about leaving her here.

  He didn’t have the necessary equipment though and setting up wards took hours, if not days, depending on how strong you wanted to make them. It was easier to make her leave this wretched place with him.

  Her kitchen was tiny, right off the front door, and what he thought might be the living room was just as small. How could she live in such cramped conditions? He stalked through the shoebox-sized apartment, searching for her. It took barely four strides to reach from the front door to the living room. He glanced right and found her in an adjacent room.

  She sat on the end of the double bed crammed into the tiny room, staring at him.

  The carpets were worn, the lack of natural light sucked, the whole apartment was smaller than his living room, and the neighbourhood was shitty, but Megan had somehow made it a home.

  The walls were brightly coloured, painted in jewel tones that lent a warm and exotic edge to the place. The lamps in each room provided enough light, and added to the warmth with their soft glow. The feminine touches, like her oversized cream armchair with fluffy cushions, and stacks of well-read books on the shelves, and the colourful glass bottles and vases full of silk flowers, brightened the small apartment.

  It smelled like her too, evening sunshine and night blooming jasmine. Intoxicating.

  “You’re different now,” she said, drawing his attention back to her.

  She sat on the end of the bed, her legs crossed Indian style. A frown marred her beauty and the pain that had been in her eyes in the shower was back in them, calling to him. He hadn’t imagined it. This was hurting her too.

  Frustration bloomed inside him, twining with the pain caused by the thought of leaving her.

  Why hadn’t she said anything back in his bathroom? Or when he had come back from the gate? Why had she kept silent and held herself at a distance, making him believe she felt nothing for him?

  Gods, if only she had said something, things might have been different. They might have been coming here to get her clothes so she could stay with him rather than coming here to part ways forever.


  He steeled his jaw, and hardened his heart. This was for the best. He could see that now. He had come this far and he had to finish it. He had to return to his world.

  Without her.

  “I changed the moment I lost my power.” He crossed the small living room and leaned against the bright blue painted doorframe. “This isn’t me. I don’t feel like myself.”

  She gave him a short tight smile and then picked at the dark pink covers of her bed, her gaze on her fingers. “Do you feel cold without your fire?”

  He shook his head. “Not when I’m looking at you... I’ve never felt so hot.”

  Damn. He cursed himself for not keeping that to himself and putting it out there. He was meant to be distancing himself from her, but all it took was a smile from her and he was moving closer again, falling back under her spell and into the easy way they had talked to each other back in his apartment, nothing held back.

  She lifted her head and smiled shyly. “Flattery might get you everywhere.”

  “There are some places I haven’t been in centuries.” He cursed himself again for tossing that one out there, but this time it was because she clammed up, her expression turning wary.

  He had tried to distance himself from her and had failed so many times, but she had managed to place an ocean between them in the space of a heartbeat.

  She muttered something at her hand, fiercely plucking at tiny threads and pulling the satiny material of her bed cover.

  Ares frowned. What had he said to get her on the defensive?

  He caught a snippet of what she was saying, something about only wanting her because she was on hand and available, and closed his eyes.

  Sense said to keep his mouth shut, but his heart overruled his head.

  “Megan, this need I feel for you... this attraction... it was there before I lost my power.” He kept his eyes closed and felt hers on him, knew that she wanted him to look at her when he told her this. He didn’t have the strength to do such a thing. He had never been any good at expressing his feelings, not the softer variety at least. Rage, fury, disgust, and all the negative emotions flowed out of him like water out of a tap. He sighed, opened his eyes, and found the courage to meet hers. “You’re beautiful... and damn hot... and I want you. I can’t stop thinking about you even when I know that I should.”