Just for the Rush

by Jane Lark

  ‘Well, where is he, then? I want him to do something for me.’

  I opened up his e-calendar to take a peek, although I didn’t plan on telling her. It said ‘private appointment’. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m afraid he hasn’t let anyone know.’

  ‘Well, tell him to call me when he does come in.’ The call was cut off, with no goodbye, and no thank you.

  ‘Who was it?’ Emma, Jack’s business partner, called over.

  I turned and smiled at her. ‘Sharon.’

  ‘Oh.’

  A couple of glances passed around the office.

  Rumour had it that Sharon had caught him cheating. But that was Jack; he flirted constantly with clients, it was part of his winning sales approach. But Sharon had been as bad – and the two of them put together—

  The door into the office opened. ‘Morning, all you lovely happy people!’

  Talk of the devil.

  ‘Nice to see you all smiling at me, but not surprising, seeing as you’re about to get a few days off. I suppose you’re going to the pub after work.’

  ‘Aren’t you, then?’ Mark asked him.

  ‘No, I need to work on the Mack’s account, seeing as you are all finishing early.’ Jack said it with a smile. ‘But you can knock off at two, and have several on me, so you can get thoroughly drunk.’ He stopped at the desk near the door, pulled out his wallet, and selected two fifty-pound notes, which he let flutter down on to the table. ‘That should do for a few rounds.’

  He shot a smile around the room, gave us a nod, then walked on.

  He was a good boss in many ways. Fun-loving and a little crazy, even if he had tendency to be a control freak. He liked laughter and noise. He said laughter and noise had energy, and energy was inspiring, and as we were an advertising agency we needed to be inspired.

  He was the thing that inspired me. He had magnetism. It was in his smile and his enthusiasm. He pulled me along like the Pied Piper of advertising and his levels of positivity gave me more energy.

  ‘The Mack’s account isn’t urgent! They don’t need the idea until mid-January! You can come for a drink!’ Emma called over as he walked into his office.

  He turned and gripped the doorframe, leaning back out. ‘Thanks, but no thanks, Em. I’ll pass this year anyway.’

  ‘Jack Rendell passing on a drink…’ I said in a low voice.

  He heard and looked at me. ‘Jack Rendell working late, now that is nothing different.’

  ‘No, that is true.’ I smiled at him. He had nice eyes; they were a very pale blue.

  ‘Good morning, Ivy.’ His gaze skimmed over my hair and my face, then settled on my eyes.

  ‘Good afternoon, Jack. You’ve missed an hour or two.’

  He glanced up at the clock, then shrugged. ‘Yes.’

  He was being weird today. He wasn’t himself. He was missing his usual exuberance.

  ‘Sharon called you. She asked me tell you to call her when you came in. She said there was something she wants you to do.’

  ‘Well, she can get lost and find another fool to do her chores, and if she calls again you can tell her I said that.’

  I didn’t know how to answer. But he didn’t expect me to. He turned and went into his office, a glass walled box to one side of the room, then took off his coat.

  When he hung it up on the coat rack in there the movement pulled his jumper up a little and his shirt out of his waistband, revealing a line of pale flesh. He was always well dressed, in designer clothes, mostly. Today he was wearing skinny-cut black trousers and a black pinstripe shirt beneath a burgundy jumper. The jumper was tight and I’d guess the shirt beneath it was fitted. From side on, his stomach was like a board. He was slender and muscular. He must spend hours in a gym at his house – or somewhere.

  His hands slipped into his pockets and he walked over to the window, looking out at the view the office had of London. After a moment he turned around and caught me watching. He smiled. I smiled back and when he sat down I picked up my phone.

  ‘Jack,’ was all he said when he answered.

  ‘You don’t seriously expect me to get in the middle of your messy separation do you? Because I’m not up for that.’

  He laughed. ‘Not if you can’t take a dozen rounds with Sharon; she fights hard and she has a cracking left jab.’ He sighed out a breath. ‘Okay, if she calls again put her through.’

  ‘Okay, but she was calling your phone.’

  ‘Then why did you answer?’

  ‘Because she kept ringing and it was annoying.’

  ‘Well, expect lots of ‘annoying’ in the next few months, Ivy, because she’s not letting our ship sink easily.’ He put the phone down.

  Ten minutes later his phone rang, the tone announcing it was a call from outside. I looked over and watched him. He waited until it went to the answer machine, then lifted the phone off the hook. Two minutes later I heard his personal mobile ring; he didn’t answer that either. Then he got up and stuck his head out of the office. ‘Hey, Em. Are you up for changing our number?’

  I laughed.

  He came over to my desk. ‘My life is not funny, Ivy.’

  ‘I know, sorry.’

  ‘It’s ok. I was only joking. Do you want a coffee? Does anyone else want a coffee? If someone heads out to Nero’s you can line your stomachs before you go out and get pissed up on me at two o’clock!’

  ‘I’ll get you a coffee.’ I stood up.

  His lips lifted only at one side. ‘I offered one to you.’ He was flirting, but he flirted with everyone.

  ‘I’ll get it. You pay.’

  He smiled fully. His mobile rang. ‘Oh, sod it. We’ll both go fetch the coffee. Listen up, guys! The boss is doing the coffee run! This has to be remembered!’

  A few people laughed. We all knew he’d remind us that he’d gone out to do a Nero’s run for at least a year.

  His phone stopped ringing.

  My office phone started ringing with an outside-line tone.

  ‘Don’t you dare answer that,’ Jack said.

  ‘And what if it is a client and not Sharon.’

  ‘It’s Christmas Eve. If it’s a client they’ll call again in the New Year. Come on, let’s go get coffee. Make a list of what people want.’

  I picked up a post-it note and went around everyone. There were ten of us. It wasn’t a huge team.

  Jack had picked up his coat and was putting it back on. His mobile rang again. He knocked it on to silent and left it vibrating on his desk as he walked out of his office, hands in pockets. ‘Come along, then.’

  I stuck the order on the sleeve of his duffle coat before I turned and grabbed my parka off the back of my chair. I pulled it on as we walked out of the office.

  He tilted an eyebrow at me while we waited in the hall for the lift, and recited the list of coffee orders. ‘Are they taking the piss, seriously, gingerbread lattes with cream and iced mochas. I mean who wants anything iced in the middle of winter?’

  I made a face at him. ‘You offered.’

  ‘Yes, I did. Mug that I am.’

  The lift doors opened. ‘You’re not a mug. You’re a nice boss.’

  ‘Nice… That’s shit praise. It’s sour when you know there are words like ‘great’ and ‘awesome’ that have not been used.’

  ‘You’re in a bad mood today, aren’t you?’ I folded my arms over my chest and watched the light behind the numbers as the lift went down through the floors.

  ‘Is it any wonder, with Sharon on my back?’

  I glanced at him as the lift doors opened again. ‘Yeah, but you did bring that on yourself.’

  His lips quirked sideward, sharply. It wasn’t a flirtatious expression; it was a challenge. I’d annoyed him. His eyebrow lifted on one side once more too and his pale eyes looked their objection through his dark lashes. The expression said, what? Then asked, why?

  A pull of attraction caught in my stomach. Jack was too good-looking and his flirtatious nature had always made my st
omach somersault. I laughed, but it sounded awkward. The hit I got was not just an appreciation of his looks; it was sexual. My body was saying it would love to have sex with him. It had been a secret desire of mine for years. But it was one of those things that I thought about but would never do. It wasn’t going to happen because he was my boss.

  He looked away and held an arm out, telling me to walk ahead through the revolving door. I had a feeling, even though I had my parka on, that his gaze dropped to my arse. He was such a player.

  But that side of him had always been exciting. I liked him looking at me, like I looked at him. I smiled to myself, my hands slipping into my coat pockets to keep them warm. It felt like a compliment to be admired by a man like Jack.

  On the far side of the spinning doors, the volume of London, on the last day before Christmas, roared into life. The traffic was bumper to bumper, and there were people everywhere, with hands full of shopping bags.

  Jack came out of the spinning doors behind me.

  I sighed out a breath as he walked next to me.

  ‘So what are people saying about the mess I made of my marriage? Did Sharon tell you what she’d like to do with my private parts? I’ve heard several versions. That was probably the chore she had in mind. She probably wanted me to pick up some nutcrackers on the way home.’

  I looked at him. It wasn’t surprising Sharon wanted to do him harm. If he fancied me, I doubted he felt guilty. I used to feel guilty when I was with Rick, when my stomach flipped at the sight of Jack, like I was being disloyal to Rick. But Jack was one of those men you’d have to be blind not to have some feeling for, and he played up to it.

  ‘Is Sharon still at your place?’ I asked as we wove a path through the Christmas shoppers. There were thousands of people walking up and down the street, but it was the heart of Knightsbridge. They were here for Harrods; to see Santa and the windows and look at the Christmas lights as well as shop.

  ‘Yes. I moved out.’

  I couldn’t play judge over their separation; I’d instigated my breakup too, and I’d moved out too. I’d rammed a stiletto heel right through Rick’s heart in front of an audience. Santa was going to be slipping a lump of coal into my stocking tonight. I was not on anyone’s nice list.

  But I wasn’t sorry. Santa could leave me on his bad-girl list. I’d rather be on it than miserable still. It had been amazing how my depression had lifted since I’d left. But there was guilt. I’d hurt Rick, and that was the one thing that was preventing me from being wholly happy now.

  ‘Here.’ Jack pushed the door of Nero’s open and let me go in first. We were welcomed in with the sound of Wham, singing out ‘Last Christmas’…

  The place wasn’t too busy. Most people were buying Christmas Eve bargains, not wasting time in a coffee shop.

  I joined the queue. Jack stood behind me. I looked back to see his face, ‘So go on, then, what’s the truth with you and Sharon?’

  ‘It’s none of your business.’

  ‘Harsh.’ It wasn’t all that harsh; he’d said it with a smile.

  ‘I don’t fancy talking about it. I save those conversations for my lawyer.’

  ‘Are you trying to get your place back?’

  ‘No. She can have it.’

  Jack had many edges. As well as always bursting with enthusiasm. There was the risk addict and the control freak. The big picture that others glimpsed seemed ten miles wide when Jack described it. He was a true entrepreneur; an ideas man and a money-maker. Emma always said if you gave him a pound, tomorrow it would be ten thousand. Everything with him worked fast, his brain dodged all over the place and he loved long shots – loved anything that made his heart beat. You could see the light in his eyes get sharper when he had an idea or was after something. The harder a client was to convince the more Jack wanted the contract and the more he pushed us to win it. He worked stupid hours fighting to win new work. But that was why he was so great to work for, his energy was infectious and he was passionate about what he did.

  The only thing that freaked me out sometimes was the intensity that came with the passion. He sucked us all in and had us screaming for more, no matter how heavy the workload was, but then he would suddenly stop and lean back and look at all the work, and my heart would be going like crazy because I wanted what I’d done to be what he was looking for.

  ‘She’s not getting a share of the agency, though.’

  I’d never considered that his breakup might affect us. ‘Shit, I’d never thought—’

  ‘Of course she was going to be after it. Why would she not try to get her claws into the treasure trove of J’s Advertising?’

  ‘Sorry.’

  He laughed sharply. ‘No. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t be telling you. Don’t worry, your job’s safe. And I’ll shut up. You didn’t ask me to rant at you and I said I wasn’t going to talk about it.’

  ‘It’s okay, I understand.’

  ‘No, I doubt you do.’

  He probably didn’t know Rick and I had split. Jack didn’t sit around and talk much; he was always too busy.

  I looked forward again and moved along with the queue, my hands slipping into the pockets of my parka once more.

  Jack’s hands suddenly gripped either side of my waist and he shook me a little, sending my tummy into a backflip. ‘Hey. Sorry again. That was mean. I heard you split from Rick. But if you’re thinking it’s the same thing – it’s not.’

  No probably not. I hadn’t cheated.

  ‘So, who got the house in your split?’

  I looked back again and laughed, but it was a shallow sound. ‘Him.’

  ‘Where are you living, then?’

  ‘In a tiny flat; an attic room. I like it. Rick is in the place we used to rent together still. I think he’s hoping I’ll go back.’

  ‘There see, very different. Sharon wouldn’t want me back.’

  ‘And you…?’

  ‘Want her back? Are you kidding me, that money-grabbing, self-centred bitch. I’m celebrating being rid of her.’ His pitch didn’t say celebration, it was bitter – and maybe a little twisted.

  ‘Can I help you?’ The barista called along the counter, picking up the orders along the queue.

  ‘Hi, Susie.’ Jack smiled at her. ‘Here you go; there’s the list.’

  The barista smiled at him. ‘Be with you in a minute, Jack.’

  ‘You’re on first-name terms with the Nero’s staff,’ I whispered as she turned away.

  He smiled at me. ‘Why, aren’t you?’

  My smile quirked. ‘Do you flirt with her?’

  ‘I talk to her. What’s wrong with that?’ His hands slid into the pockets of his coat, as if he was the most innocent guy in the world. He was so on Santa’s naughty list too.

  But what was wrong with it? Flirting. Nothing. Flirting was fun and I hadn’t been able to do it for years because I’d tied myself down to Rick. ‘Nothing… But… I give up with you.’

  ‘That’s the sort of thing my mum would say, and I didn’t even know you’d started with me, Ivy.’

  We moved three people along. ‘It’s no wonder Sharon is pissed off with you.’

  His eyes widened, the pale blue challenging me as his lips formed a firm line, like he was going to blow off into a storm of rude words. His Adam’s apple shifted as he swallowed them, then he said, ‘What do you guys think?’

  Awkwardness wrapped me up with a nice bow. But he should know what everyone thought. ‘That you cheated.’

  ‘That I cheated,’ he said it in a disparaging way and his eyebrows lifted, saying, are you kidding me.

  I’d guess he hadn’t cheated.

  ‘Well, if that is what you all want to believe…’

  ‘Sharon told Emma.’

  ‘That was good of her, and good of Em to repeat it.’

  Shit, I was digging a deeper hole. ‘You didn’t cheat?’ I took a step out of it.

  ‘Oh, no, she’s absolutely right. I cheated. Loads.’ He’
d leaned forward when he said the last word, and it shivered down my spine. Being up close to Jack was more than a metaphoric slap around the face, it was like I’d eaten a mouthful of the hottest curry; he made me sweat, as my temperature soared.

  I turned away and faced the counter as we reached the till. He’d given the list to Susie and so I started reeling off the drinks we had on order. He pulled out his wallet. I stepped out of his way so he could hold his card over the machine.

  ‘Sorry, that was declined. Do you want to try putting your card in the reader?’

  He slotted it in, then typed in his PIN.

  ‘Sorry, it’s still declined.’

  ‘Oh, fuck,’ he said under his breath. ‘Try this one. It ought to work. It’s just mine.’ He put another card in. The payment went through.

  We moved out the way to wait for our coffees as the Christmas music aptly changed to The Pogues, ‘Fairytale of New York’.

  ‘Has she cleaned out your account?’

  ‘She cleaned out our joint account a month ago. Fortunately I didn’t have much money in there. Now she’s maxed out the credit card. I only left her access to one. She was meant to use it wisely. So if she hasn’t bought her Christmas dinner already she’s going to be hungry. That is probably what she was calling about. I had the limit lowered and didn’t tell her. It’s a full-on war I’m in, Ivy.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Again, not your fault, just me moaning.’

  I hadn’t heard Jack moan until today. He was always upbeat. Where had he been this morning? To see his lawyer? He’d been managing his split with Sharon since the summer, but he hadn’t been like this before. ‘Well, I am sorry. I don’t like seeing you down.’

  His smile tilted, then his hand gripped the back of my neck and his fingers squeezed. ‘Thanks, and, for what it’s worth, I think Rick is an idiot.’

  He didn’t know how Rick and I had split then. ‘You know I dumped him?’

  ‘So Em said. What I meant was, Rick is just an idiot.’

  I laughed. I didn’t know what to say to that. His long fingers slipped away from my neck, but I could still feel them there.