Forever Amber Brown

by Paula Danziger

  “There are only boys in this club, right?” I ask.

  He nods. “How did you guess?”

  I, Amber Brown, would never join that club . . . . and I don’t think that Brandi would either . . . . but I bet most of the boys in my class would join.

  There are certain things I know: I wouldn’t join the Royal Order of the Snots . . . I would never own a Barbie doll. I also know that I will never have another friend like Justin . . . and I know that I wish he still lived near me.

  I look at the Snap Snot, and then I look at Justin. “Thanks. I’ll keep it forever.”

  “Can I come up?” Danny yells.

  Justin walks over to the tree house door, looks down at his little brother, and yells, “No.”

  “I’m going to tell.” Danny starts to cry.

  Times like this I know why I like being an only child.

  I look down.

  Danny is lying on the ground, kicking his feet.

  Mr. Daniels comes up to him. “Danny, let’s go to the store. We’ll pick up some ice cream for dessert.”

  Danny keeps on yelling.

  Justin looks down and yells, “Stop being such a baby. In a couple of months, you’re going to be a middle child.”

  Danny starts to kick his feet even more.

  “And I’m still going to be the big brother,” Justin yells down.

  Mr. Daniels shakes a finger at Justin. “I suggest that you act like the big brother, the GOOD, KIND, UNDERSTANDING big brother. Now tell Danny that you’re sorry.”

  Justin just stands for a minute, and then yells down, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “Much better,” his father says, picking up Danny, whispering something in his ear, and heading to his car.

  Justin looks down at them, and then comes back and sits next to me. “I’m sorry that he’s such a pain. I’m sorry that he drives me nuts. I’m sorry that he’s always following me all over the place. I bet that my dad’s just bribed the little twerp. He does that a lot. Danny’s gotten really weird since we found out about the new baby coming.”

  “Does it bother you?” I ask.

  Justin shrugs. “Nah.”

  Justin doesn’t like to let people know when stuff bugs him.

  I learned that about him when he had to move away.

  I’ve also learned that I can’t ask him too much about how he feels or he backs off.

  My mom says that’s the way a lot of boys are and I’m just going to have to get used to it.

  Justin slugs me on the arm. “Why don’t you start a club back home? The Royal Order of the Snots . . . . you could be the grand booger of the East.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I can’t really imagine that happening.

  This reminds me of something. I know that it’s something that he’d like to know. “Remember Brandi?”

  Justin nods.

  “Well, she’s got this special trick she can do. She takes a wad of newly chewed gum out of her mouth, puts it around her nose, blows, and makes a bubble.”

  “Cool,” Justin says.

  I, Amber Brown, think about my two best friends and their weirdnesses. Both do kind of gross things having to do with their noses.

  It makes me laugh to think that . . . . . Everyone “nose” that it’s “snot” funny to be so gross.

  I change the subject. “Justin . . . you know my mom is thinking of getting married to Max, who you’ve never met.”

  Justin nods. “Do you like him?”

  “Yeah. I like him, but I don’t know that I want him to live in my house.”

  “YOUR house?” Justin kids. “You live there alone?”

  “Mine and Mom’s. Justin . . . . this is serious.”

  “I know.” He stops smiling.

  “I want everything to go back to normal,” I say, thinking of the way it was when my dad lived with us, when Justin and his family lived down the street.

  “This is normal,” Justin says. “It’s weird. Things change . . . . and then they become normal. I think that’s what grown-ups already know and we have to learn.”

  “I don’t want to learn it.” I make a face.

  “I didn’t, either.” Justin picks up the Snap Snot and puts it up his nose.

  Then he looks at me. “But I had to . . . and it’s not so bad. I’m having fun here now, and I have new friends . . . and you’re still my friend.”

  I think about it. What’s normal? Do things always change? Would they have changed even if my mom and dad stayed together? Would it be so terrible if Max was living with us . . . . . if he was my stepfather . . . . . STEPFATHER . . . . ? Would it be better if my mom said she didn’t want to marry him? What if Max wasn’t in our lives? What would it be like if my mom was dating other guys? What if . . . . . What if . . . . . What if???????????????????

  Max . . . . Mom . . . . Dad . . . . . I’ll think about it tomorrow.

  It’s all too much to think about right now . . . . I open my package of Snap Snots and put it in my nose.

  Chapter

  Twelve

  “So what did you decide?” I ask.

  My mother is packing our bags.

  It’s Sunday morning and we’re still at the Danielses’ house and she still hasn’t told me what she’s going to say to Max.

  “I still haven’t decided.” She sits down on her bed in the guest room.

  I’m sitting on my bed. “Maybe you just shouldn’t decide. Maybe you should just let things go on the way they are. Why is this so important right now? You’ve only been going out together for a couple of months.”

  She bites her lip. “Max has been offered a great job in California.”

  I gasp. “California? Would we have to move to California?”

  It hits my brain all at once. Pow. We’d have to move . . . . and move far away. Pow. I’d have to leave my house . . . my friends . . . my school . . . Pow. And what about when Daddy moves back? He would still be far away.

  She shakes her head. “No. If I say yes and Max and I get engaged, we’ll stay in New Jersey . . . at least for a while. It’s just that Max doesn’t want to give up the job if I’m not willing to make a commitment. He loves me very much . . . and you, too . . . . and he wants us to be a family. It’s not even that we have to get married right away. He just wants us to be engaged . . . more committed.”

  I pull at a thread on the bedspread. “Why can’t you decide?”

  She sighs. “It’s all so soon. Max was the first man that I dated after the divorce. When we first started going out, I thought he would be just the beginning of my new social life . . . and then we fell in love.”

  “You’re in love with him?” I’ve never heard her say that.

  She smiles and nods.

  “You’re in love with him?” I repeat.

  She nods again. “Does that bother you?”

  I think about Max . . . . how nice he is, how much I like him. I think about how he helps me with my schoolwork, takes us places, is teaching me how to bowl. I think about how happy my mother is when she’s with him.

  “No. I guess not. I really like him a lot . . . . but it’s kind of weird . . . to think about him as being part of our family.” I pull some more on the thread and think for a moment about my dad.

  My mother comes over, sits down, takes the thread out of my hand, and pushes it back into the bedspread. “Amber, I’ve just about made my decision.”

  “And . . . .” I want to know.

  She nods. “I want to be engaged to Max . . . . and eventually marry him, but I know that this decision affects you . . . and I want to know how you feel about it . . . . Max wants to know, too. And he wants me to tell you how much he loves you and how hard he will try not to disrupt your life and how he wants all of us to be part of each other’s lives.”

  “When did he tell you that?” I ask.

  “When he asked me to marry him,” she says.

  “That was definitely a long proposal,” I say, and smile.

  She
smiles back. “It was. We did a lot of talking . . . and Max says that if, when, I say yes, he wants to talk to you about everything . . . .”

  “This is going to be a family where a lot of talking goes on.” I grin.

  Then I realize what I’ve just said: “This is going to be a family,” and I realize that it IS going to be a family . . . and I, Amber Brown, feel good about it. I like the idea. I like the idea a lot.

  We were a family when my parents were together. We were a family when my parents divorced . . . a different kind of family . . . and we’re going to be a family when Max is part of it . . . another different family.

  My mother repeats . . . “This is going to be a family. . . .”

  We look at each other and know that the decision is made.

  Now we just have to tell Max.

  Now I just have to tell my father . . . because he’s still a part of my family . . . . just not a part of this one that is going to be.

  There’s a knock on the door.

  “Knock, knock.” It’s Justin.

  My mother and I look at each other, smile, and say, “Who’s there?”

  “Interrupting Justin,” he yells in.

  I’ve told him all of the dumb interrupting jokes.

  “Interrupting Jus——” my mother and I say at the same time.

  He interrupts, “Just want to let you know that it’s time to go back to Say Cheese. I’m hungry and we’ve got to watch the guy hold the anchovies.”

  I, Amber Brown, am beginning to realize that while some things change . . . some things stay the same.

  I know that no matter what happens, one thing will be the same——no matter how many changes there are. I will always be Forever Amber Brown.

  Turn the page

  for a preview of

  AMBER BROWN

  SEES RED

  Chapter

  One

  I, Amber Brown, am going through a growth spurt.

  Either that or the mirror’s getting smaller.

  I keep looking at myself from different angles.

  Either my legs are getting longer or my pants are getting shorter.

  Either my eyesight is getting bad or my bangs are covering my eyes.

  I can practically feel myself getting taller. . .

  My new shoes that I got only two months ago at the beginning of fourth grade are too small.

  I’m not sure that I’m ready for this growth spurt.

  Sitting down on my bed, I pick up my favorite stuffed toy, the one that my dad won for me at the town fair.

  “Gorilla,” I say, “it’s not that I’m complaining . . . . it’s not that I want to stay the same size forever . . . . it’s just that I would like something in my life to stay the same for a while.”

  The gorilla says nothing, but then he never talks. He just listens. At least that’s one thing that stays the same.

  I continue. “In the past two years, everything has changed. My parents separated. My father moved to Paris. My best friend, Justin, moved to Alabama. My parents divorced. My mom started dating Max. Then he asked her to marry him, and for us to become a family. Now they’re engaged. My favorite teacher, Mr. Cohen, stayed in the third grade, and I had to go into fourth grade. And now my feet are getting bigger. My legs are getting taller. Nothing fits the same way anymore.

  “Say something,” I tell the gorilla.

  The hairy ape just sits there.

  Looking around my room, I think about how my room is the only thing that hasn’t changed. Doofy dancing-animal wallpaper, boring curtains and bedspread.

  Even though the gorilla doesn’t tell me, I know that I sound like such a complainer.

  Things could be worse.

  I know that.

  I look at my mirror again and I see a spot on the right side of my face.

  Things ARE getting worse.

  I’m getting some weird disease.

  I’ve already had chicken pox.

  This must be vulture pox.

  I touch the spot and it smears.

  It’s not vulture pox. (Which I’m not actually sure is a real disease.)

  It’s a mark from the pen that I used when I wrote a letter to my dad this morning.

  Lately, he’s been writing long letters about how, even though he loves Paris, he’s homesick for me and for the United States.

  “Amber Marie Brown. Get down here right now or you’re going to be late for school,” my mom calls up the steps.

  Grabbing my knapsack, I rush downstairs.

  It’s Friday.

  It’s school.

  It’s math test day and I forgot to study.

  Maybe I’ll get lucky and something will happen so that the test gets canceled.

  Chapter

  Two

  “Bulletin. Bulletin. Bulletin.” Brandi runs up to me right after my mom drops me off at school.

  “What is it this time?” I grin at her. “Did the janitor change another lightbulb? Did Mr. Cohen call Ms. Levine by her first name again? Has someone glued rhinestones on the school basketballs?”

  “No.” She stamps her foot. “That all happened last week . . . and I’ve already reported those things, so they’re no longer bulletins.”

  “So what is it this time?” I continue to grin at my friend, who wants to be a television reporter when she grows up and believes in being prepared for the future.

  “Bulletin. Bulletin. Bulletin.” She’s jumping up and down. “The school stinks.”

  “I thought you liked school. What’s happened to make you think it stinks all of a sudden?”

  She holds her nose and giggles. “The school stinks. It REALLY stinks . . . . Big time! Really big time. I’m talking SKUNK time. I’m talking SKUNK FAMILY time.”

  I start to laugh. “Skunks?!”

  She nods. “Take a deep breath.”

  I can’t. “I have a cold.”

  She tries to look serious. “It’s a good thing that I can give you this bulletin then . . . . We may be sent home . . . the school really stinks . . . . So, as Mr. Cohen said about ten minutes ago, nose news is good news.”

  Now I start to laugh a lot. “Some schools have snow days. . . . We may have a Skunk Day.”

  Jimmy Russell and Bobby Clifford come running over to us.

  They get down on their hands and knees, lift one leg, and pretend to be skunks.

  I, Amber Brown, have always thought that they were little stinkers.

  All of a sudden, there is the sound of whistles blowing.

  The vice principal and the guidance counselor have gym whistles in their mouths.

  Mr. Robinson, the principal, is using a megaphone. “Children. Go stand with your teachers.”

  I look for Mrs. Holt.

  She’s standing by the swings.

  Brandi and I go over to her, moving closer to the school.

  I still don’t smell anything.

  Mr. Robinson, the principal, is holding a megaphone.

  Everyone is quiet as soon as he starts speaking.

  That’s because we all know that we’ll get a very long detention if we’re not quiet.

  The announcement is made.

  We have to go into the school and wait until arrangements are made to send us all home.

  . . . . . . Until then we are to remain quiet, not cause any problems.

  I see Mr. Cohen lean over to Ms. Levine and say, “That’s using common scents.”

  Even though I like Mrs. Holt, my fourth grade teacher, I really miss having Mr. Cohen as my teacher. He’s the best teacher in the whole world.

  However, I, Amber Brown, am getting very curious about Mr. Cohen and his interest in the new kindergarten teacher. I was sort of hoping that he’d wait until I graduated from college to get interested in someone . . . . like me. Oh well, he’ll probably be much too old for me by then anyway . . . . . . Probably ancient . . . . at least forty.

  Oh well . . . Ms. Levine seems really nice.

  “Line up by classes” is the an
nouncement.

  We do.

  The next announcement is “Return to your classes.”

  We do.

  Jimmy Russell and Bobby Clifford continue pretending to be skunks.

  They get detention.

  I personally think that Jimmy and Bobby are so used to having detention that they think it’s a regular school subject . . . . . math, science, detention, English.

  It’s only October and already they have enough detentions to keep them after school until next February. By the end of this school year, I bet they’ll have enough detentions to keep them after school until they graduate from high school.

  Walking in, I can smell the skunks, even with my very bad cold.

  It’s gross, really gross . . . really, really, really gross.

  Ms. Levine’s kindergarteners are walking in front of us.

  One of the little girls starts to cry, “I’m scared. I’m scared. I don’t want to come in here. What if they try to get us? What if they bite us and give us rabies? What if they stink?”

  Some of the other kindergarteners start to cry.

  One of them wets his pants.

  There’s a little puddle around his shoe.

  Something tells me that this is going to be a school day that I’m never going to forget.

  Amber can’t wait to be Best Child when her mom and Max get married, but planning a wedding comes with lots of headaches. Amber can’t find the right dress, her dad keeps making mean cracks about Max, and everyone is going crazy over how much things cost. Her mother even suggests they go to city hall and skip the party altogether!

  Justin and his family are supposed to come for the wedding, and Amber has been looking forward to that for months. Adults sure can be a lot of work, but if Amber can make this wedding work, it will all be worth it.

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