Just a Kiss

by Jerry Cole

  He sipped the drink in his hand again, considering exactly what he had to do about this guy. If there was anything that he could do. The lottery winner was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed the text on his phone.

  It was from Brandon. Kenton sighed. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to hear from Brandon. He had gotten a certain enjoyment in his wallowing. It was easier to sit there and feel sorry for himself than it was to talk to someone about what he was feeling.

  He did give in to the curiosity and look at the message eventually, however.

  Haven’t heard from you all day, you doing alright?

  Kenton sighed. He had fallen out of touch a bit with his mind so focused on Vance. He quickly tapped out a response.

  Yeah, just doing stuff.

  What kind of stuff?

  Just stuff.

  Sigh.

  What?

  You’re wallowing in self-pity again, aren’t you?

  No.

  You’re lying.

  What makes you say that?

  Because you’re you.

  I don’t go around wallowing in self-pity. I’m not that kind of guy. You know it.

  I know you.

  Brandon had him pegged. That was for sure. Kenton was wallowing. He didn’t want to answer that. He put his phone down on the table next to him, determined to ignore whatever Brandon had to say. It wasn’t worth the fight when he knew that Brandon had tagged the problem so clearly.

  A tree branch scraped against the window. He tried to pay attention to that, but it didn’t work.

  But when the phone buzzed again it was a lot harder to ignore.

  He tried anyway.

  Then his phone buzzed again.

  He sighed and picked the phone up again. Sure enough, there were two messages from Brandon there.

  You need to talk to someone before you fall apart again.

  And then.

  It doesn’t have to be me.

  Kenton sighed.

  There’s nothing that can be done about it.

  This is about Vance, isn’t it?

  Kenton couldn’t believe that the man had said that. Brandon knew what his issue with relationships was, how he hated the fact that everyone just seemed to want him for his money. It had become such a problem that it was one of the reasons he had become this near hermit, hiding from everyone who knew who he was or that he had money.

  What makes you say that?

  I saw the way you were looking at him at the party. And you two kind of snuck off to the kitchen.

  That doesn’t mean anything.

  It means a lot. Look, if it means that much to you, you should go for it.

  You told me not to.

  I was afraid that you were going to hurt him.

  I probably will hurt him.

  As soon as he sent those words, Kenton felt a stab of pain in his chest. He knew that it was the truth, but it was a hard truth to admit. He wanted to call Vance, find out what the man wanted to do about the feelings that they both had. He knew Vance felt the same way. No one had to tell him that, the millionaire had felt it in the chef’s kiss.

  He wasn’t making things up. Or maybe he was. It was so hard to tell anymore. He just knew that he wanted Vance. Possibly more than he had ever been attracted to previous lovers. Kenton sighed heavily and rubbed his face. He was tired.

  Maybe it was just better for him to go to bed and not deal with this. But he looked at his phone instead. He sighed heavily and looked at the messages. Brandon had responded.

  What do you think you should do?

  I don’t know.

  Kenton shrugged to himself. He didn’t know what to do about Vance.

  Would it help if I didn’t stand in the way?

  Probably not. I’m no good for anyone. We both know that.

  You’re a great guy, don’t get all down on yourself. I know it hasn’t been easy, but still, you should let yourself enjoy some happiness.

  I don’t know if I can trust him.

  There is no nicer man in the world than Vance. He’s a great guy with a big heart. And he makes enough money at that restaurant to support himself so he doesn’t need you to support him.

  You don’t have to extoll his virtues nonstop.

  Lol, I can’t help it. Vance is a really good guy. Plus, Vanessa says he’s been pouting a lot since the party. We’re pretty sure it’s because he’s got a crush on you too.

  Kenton’s heart skipped a beat when he read those words. Vance did like him. It got him excited.

  He shook his head. “Stop finding that exciting. It’s a bad idea.” He was talking to himself now. That was never a good sign for his mental wellbeing. He shook his head, trying to focus on the conversation he was having.

  He didn’t want to know how Brandon was reading the lack of response. He had some ideas, but the worst idea was the fact that Brandon could read the truth into the silence from his end of the call. The fact that Kenton wanted nothing more than to text Vance and see if they could talk or get together for coffee or something, anything that they could do together.

  Another buzz. This time it vibrated in his hand. A message from Brandon. Two simple words.

  Call him.

  Kenton frowned. He didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Brandon had made it clear. And he knew what he wanted. But he wasn’t sure why he wanted Vance so much. It didn’t make sense. He had never really felt that strongly about someone in the past. This felt new and that made it terrifying.

  He just had to ask himself what he was stopping himself for. It wasn’t like he had issues approaching handsome men. It wouldn’t be the first time he had done it.

  He flipped open the contacts list and stared at Vance’s number. It took a long time to decide what he was going to do.

  He stared at his phone, wondering exactly what he was going to try to do about the man that wouldn’t get out of his head.

  Chapter Seven

  Vance was pacing. He knew what was coming. And he knew that he wanted it, but he was more than nervous about it. A coffee date. It was something simple, but it still felt so strange to go out again. But this was just coffee. There was nothing wrong with that. He was going to be fine. He knew that. But if only he could make the logic stop the strain that was building up inside of him. He still felt a little like he was cheating, leaving something behind that he shouldn’t leave behind.

  His hands were shaking. He took note of it and then reminded himself what the counselor had said. It’s not cheating. He didn’t have to move on until he was ready to. It’s fine to be uncomfortable, and what he did with that discomfort should be totally up to him. He didn’t have to say yes. He didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. He knew that. He could just walk away and it would be just fine.

  But he had said yes. And he was determined to go. Because there was a part of him that knew Kenton was a chance at something that he didn’t think was possible. He couldn’t say why he knew that he had to go, but somewhere deep inside he knew that he had to go and meet with this guy. It was just coffee, wasn’t it? That was a perfectly normal thing for a person to do with someone else. It was just something normal. He had to remind himself of that fact or he would panic himself. “Just calm down.” He talked to himself.

  The trip to the coffee shop didn’t take very long. It felt like it should have taken longer. His mind knew that it wasn’t that long of a drive, but his heart was making it hard to take that step. He considered what his counselor had said. If he wanted to wait longer, he could. That would be just fine. But that didn’t help him at that moment. He had agreed to go. He had thought that he was ready before this. But now that he was there it felt like he wasn’t quite sure about that assertation. He sighed and stared at the coffee shop through his windshield. The outside was ordinary, just a brick building near a big shopping district. Downplayed and ordinary. That was the entire vibe of the place, the kind of place that was supposed to be understated and casual. He liked that about this
coffee shop.

  Vance sat outside the shop in the parking lot. He drew in a shaky breath and considered leaving again. Maybe this was the wrong choice. Maybe there was nothing there. Maybe Kenton wouldn’t even show up. He had no way to know what was going to happen. He sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt. He had to do this. He had to let himself move on and explore new possibilities. It was time. He knew that it was.

  He slowly got out of his vehicle and walked up to the door of the coffee shop. He paused again, wondering once again if it was the right thing to do or not. Kenton was his brother-in-law’s best friend. Maybe that was what his trepidation was about. It would put his relationship in a position of being linked to his sister’s marriage. If one of the relationships failed it would put a strain on the other one.

  He shook his head, remembering that thinking that way wouldn’t do anyone any good. He had to make a decision, he could either walk into the door or walk back to his car.

  The decision was made. He walked into the room and looked around. It was a nice place, a little homey coffee shop with local owners that worked at the business. He had been there before, often picking up special coffee orders for some of the staff when they wanted coffee that wasn’t made in the pot in the break room. This place was pretty close to the restaurant. He could have placed a bet to this being the reason that Kenton had chosen this place for the first coffee date.

  Kenton was already there, sitting at a small table. The man offered a kind of nervous smile.

  Vance walked up to the man and sat down across from him. A long moment of silence stretched between them. They just stared at each other, waiting for the first one to break the silence.

  Kenton spoke first. “You want something to drink?”

  “Uh, sure.” Vance fidgeted nervously.

  “What do you want?” Kenton shifted, his eyes darting around the room. The man was nervous. Vance wondered if Kenton was nervous for the same reasons that he was.

  Vance frowned and thought about it for a second. “Salted Caramel Macchiato.”

  Kenton nodded and slipped out of the chair, heading up to the counter to place the order. Vance turned to watch the other man place the order. It had fallen quiet between them once again. Kenton had just gotten his order and walked off.

  Vance wondered if it was something he did. He took a second and tried to stealthily take a sniff of his armpits. To do that he had to slouch low in the seat and lose sight of the man that he had come there with. It took a bit to get out of sight to pull this off.

  He was halfway through a total sniff check when he heard the voice from the left side of his seat, just a step behind him. “You smell fine.”

  Vance nearly jumped out of his skin. He blushed with embarrassment at being caught. “W-what?” He hoped that he sounded like he didn’t know what the other man was talking about.

  Kenton’s laugh was enough to draw the chef back in. “Don’t worry about it. I wanted to do the same thing.”

  Vance breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Really?”

  “I just didn’t want to get caught doing it.” Kenton smiled at him.

  Vance laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I probably should have taken getting caught into account. Seems it got me into a bit of trouble.”

  “You’re not in trouble.” Kenton smiled. “I think it’s kind of cute.”

  Vance flushed again. “Really? You think it’s cute?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Ok… I’m suddenly a little more nervous, you?”

  Kenton nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of nervous energy right now.”

  Vance sighed in relief. “This is a lot harder than I remember.”

  “What?”

  Vance waved his hand in the air. “You know, this whole dating thing. It’s really tough.”

  “And the date has barely started.”

  “I know.” Vance glanced down as the cup was slid in front of him. “Still, it’s been a while.”

  “I heard. Brandon told me.” Kenton nodded.

  “You already said that.”

  “I guess I’m just as awkward as you are about it.”

  Vance frowned and looked at the man. “Is there a reason you’re nervous?”

  “I don’t know.” Kenton shook his head. “It’s not like I haven’t dated. I’ve had a few recently even. But I guess, after I heard what happened to you, I kind of don’t know how to act about you.” The secretive millionaire was looking down at his drink, playing with the straw sticking out of the iced coffee for a moment.

  “Yeah, I got that a lot.” Vance frowned. “Nobody ever really knew what to say.”

  “I bet.” Kenton nodded.

  “I didn’t know what to say either.”

  “Yeah, it’s not exactly something that anyone should ever see happen.” Kenton shook his head. There was a sadness behind the man’s eyes. “It should never happen to anyone.”

  “I take it Brandon told you all the details.” Kenton fiddled with the straw some more. His voice was quiet as they discussed Vance’s pain. There was something in his voice that spoke to a near understanding of the situation, even if he didn’t get it exactly.

  Vance looked down at his drink too. It was just one of those awkward and strange moments that needed to pass for them to move past it. “You sound like you’ve lost some people before.”

  “Yeah. But not like you. They just didn’t turn out to be the people I thought they were.” Kenton shrugged. “It’s not the same at all.”

  “I don’t know. Losing someone is still losing someone.” Vance tried to give a comforting smile. He wasn’t sure how well he could do that given the circumstance. Maybe it was because he knew the kind of awkward pain that Kenton was feeling. He just hoped that showed in his face.

  Not that Kenton was looking at his face at the moment. The man was stuck staring at his coffee. “Yeah, I guess.” He shrugged.

  “We should talk about something happier.”

  “Sure.”

  Vance paused. “Uh, got any ideas?”

  For some reason that got Kenton laughing.

  “What?” Vance couldn’t help but crack the slightest bit of a smile.

  “Nothing. I don’t know.” Kenton kept chuckling.

  This made Vance start to laugh too. Something about it was cathartic, helping him feel better after the awkwardness that they had felt before. “Damn. I don’t know why that’s funny at all.”

  Snickers exited Kenton’s lips. He was starting to laugh harder as Vance’s chuckling increased.

  Soon they were both in full-blown laughing fits that lasted over a minute.

  When it stopped, Vance wiped the tears from his eyes. “I think I needed that.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Kenton nodded. “How’s the coffee?”

  “I haven’t tried it yet.”

  “You probably should,” Kenton smirked.

  Vance couldn’t help but feel disarmed by the smile that the man sitting across from him had shot his direction. It made his breath catch in his throat.

  One more of those moments came, the moment that made them each just stop and stare at each other in awe. They wanted each other. At least Vance knew that he wanted Kenton. He felt himself shiver as he reached across the table.

  Kenton’s hand brushed his. Another shiver ran down the chef’s spine.

  “Something wrong?” The mood had shifted once again. This time Kenton was speaking softly, a husky sort of need in his voice.

  That voice made Vance have a physical reaction. “N-no. Nothing at all.” Vance shook his head, perhaps a bit more emphatically than he should have if he hoped to look like there was nothing wrong.

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” Vance nodded. “Uh, so like, this is the point where we usually get to know each other right?” He gulped.

  Kenton nodded. “Yeah, so what do you want to know about me?”

  “Well, you know what I do for a living.”

  Kenton stiffened for a minute. “Well, I make most of
my money on investments. I don’t really work.”

  “Really?”

  “It’s enough to survive on. And I can do things like this just fine. It’s not like huge.”

  “That’s cool though.”

  “Is it?”

  “I mean, yeah. Are you excited about your investments?”

  Kenton laughed. “Not as excited as you are about yours.”

  “Well, that’s because I work in my business.” Vance nodded. He smiled a little bit. “I love working in the restaurant business. It’s just something that I’ve always wanted to do, you know, own my restaurant.”

  “And now you do.”

  “It cost a lot to get off the ground, but it was worth it. We got it started by us saving away pennies at a time. My sister and I used to live together, in bunk beds in a small one-bedroom apartment.”

  Kenton laughed. “I could just see that.”

  “Us living together like that?”

  “Yeah, I mean, just trying to save up every dime you could to make a dream happen.”

  “And while we did it, we worked on our skills in the industry, both of us working our way up from the bottom of the barrel.”

  “And you did great for yourself. I know that most people don’t have the chance to do what you’ve done. I mean, honestly. Usually, if someone does start their own business it’s a lot later in life than you did.”

  “Yeah, I get told that I probably should have gotten more experience in the industry before I started a business.”

  “How did you build your business?”

  “Well, we started by hiring a good manager that worked his ass off for us and was able to help us figure out the parts that we didn’t know. He’s still working there, and he’s got great advice and helps us keep the place on track. Of course, his job has gotten easier over the past year or so.” Vance laughed.

  “He’s got you doing his job, huh?” Kenton smirked.

  “Yep. But that was the goal anyway.” Vance grinned right back at the guy. “We were aiming to learn this business.”