by Ana Layne
I came to Tamilyn’s for a little bit. What’s up?
Oh, nothing. I just got home. Wanted to see if you wanted to go grab a drink or something at Joe’s.
I lie easily. I don’t want to go have a drink with him but I needed an excuse as to why I was inquiring about his whereabouts.
We’ll have to reschedule that for sure. Next time, I’m in.
Sounds like a plan.
I toss my phone down and change into a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. I didn’t necessarily want to have a drink with Austin, but I sure as fuck don’t mind having one by myself. I’m going to Joe’s.
***
I pull into the parking lot and let out a sigh of relief. I need a drink bad. I walk straight in and make a beeline for the bartender. I order a drink and lean against the bar as I take a big sip. Oh whiskey, do your job and take the pain away.
“Ruston, right?” I turn to see Garrett next to me.
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
“I’m just waiting on Lance to get here. Raegan kicked me out of the house for the night and told me to go have a little fun. I’ve been by her side since Lucas was born so it’s a little strange to be here right now.”
“I bet it is.” I chuckle as I take another sip of my drink. “So, Raegan and Lucas are doing good?”
“Oh, they’re great. I love them to death.” He smiles as he turns to order a beer. “How are things at Lou’s? I took a little time away to be with them, but I should be back very soon.”
I almost choke on the next sip of my drink. I figured that question would pop up but I was hoping it wouldn’t. “I, uh…I quit today. I don’t have a lot of time to do it like I thought I would. I work for my dad and I’m needed more at the office.”
He nods in understanding. “I gotcha. That sucks, man. I love Lou’s. I couldn’t imagine my life without it.”
“I hear you. I like it a lot. Well, the little bit I’ve seen, but right now just isn’t the time.”
“No judgment here. Are you alone tonight?”
“Yeah, long story. I won’t bore you. I just needed to clear my head. Things are so fucked up.”
He raises his eyebrow but he doesn’t ask questions. “Well, just because you quit the gym doesn’t mean we can’t talk if you need a friend. I know how crazy shit can become, trust me. Raegan and I had our issues in the beginning but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I got her, and that’s all that matters.”
“You think this is about a girl?” I ask, downing the rest of my drink.
He raises his eyebrow again and I turn to order a new drink. He’s a fucking mind reader or something. It’s almost like I’m sitting in confession, but at the bar.
“It’s always about a girl. That’s why we end up at the bar drowning our sorrows.”
“But you said everything is good with you,” I counter.
“It is, but once upon a time I came here to make all my stupid mistakes. Lance too.” Garrett looks up and waves his hand in the air. “Speaking of the devil, here he is.”
“What’s up, man? Hey, Ruston.” He orders his beer. I nod and sip on my drink.
“About time you got here. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Garrett laughs.
“You know pregnant women and their hormones. Hilary latched onto my dick and wouldn’t let go and I’m only ten minutes late, so fuck you. I still get to go to Disney, right?”
I laugh at the two of them. I wouldn’t have minded getting to know them at the gym.
“Where’s Austin?” Lance asks, breaking me out of my trance. For a moment, I’m able to pretend I didn’t understand him because of the music blaring in the bar but he nudges my arm and asks again so I can’t play stupid on this one.
“Oh, um, he’s with Tamilyn.” I turn my head and take a long burning sip of my drink. If I keep up like this, I may not be able to drive myself home.
“Smart man. Are they coming up here?” Lance asks.
“Not really,” I mumble under my breath. Luckily no one heard me. Then I’d really have to explain myself and I don’t want to do that this evening. “They’re not coming.”
Garrett notices what Lance didn’t, and I catch his eye. The look he gives me as he sets his beer down on the bar is almost sympathetic. He knows, and I’m praying Lance doesn’t decide to walk off anytime soon.
The two of them keep talking but they include me in every conversation. It’s nice to talk to two guys without being worried one is all over your best friend. Now I have to remind myself I don’t have a best friend anymore. The urge to pee hits me and I down the rest of my drink before setting the empty glass on the bar. I tell them I’ll be right back and disappear to the restroom.
I unzip my jeans as I stand in front of the urinal. Damn, instant relief just washes over me. I adjust myself as I zip my jeans back up, then wash my hands. I stare into the mirror and just look at myself. I’m having a good time, right? I’m here to mask the pain I’m feeling but I’m having a good time. I’m able to convince myself. I walk back out of the restroom and a girl in a short skirt walks by me. I don’t even recognize her for a moment, not until she speaks.
“Hey, Ruston, what are you doing here?” She slurs a little.
My eyes finally meet hers and I groan. “Hey, Jess, same thing you’re doing here. Having a drink.”
“Hmm, I bet you are. Want to hang out?” She leans in, purring against my ear. I almost have to laugh at the fact that she’s flirting relentlessly with me, and my dick doesn’t even twitch. How she and Tamilyn can even stand in the same vicinity sometimes blows my mind. Although I haven’t heard Tamilyn say anything about her.
“No, I’m here with a few friends. I’ll catch you later.” I hurry and walk off.
“Your loss!” she yells back. What she doesn’t understand is that it’s not my loss. All we’ve ever shared is a kiss and there will never be anything else. Ever.
Chapter 17
Tamilyn
After three glasses of wine, I’m already feeling a little mushy. It’s probably good that Austin is here and not Ruston, or I wouldn’t be able to keep my damn hands off him and then we’d make yet another mistake.
Austin grabs the bottle of wine from my hand before I can pour another glass. “Hey, you may want to slow down there. This stuff will knock you on your ass.” He laughs a little as he places the cork back inside.
“That’s the point.” I grin as I down the last little bit sitting in the bottom of my glass.
“Didn’t you say you were going to show me those pictures from the fight?”
“Hell yeah.” I had almost forgotten. “I have some prints you can have to bring to the gym with you.” The envelope with the pictures sits on the coffee table in the living room. I hurry and grab them, ready to show off my good work. I’m very proud of these. The action shots made some pretty epic prints.
I thrust the envelope in his direction and he pulls the set out. His eyes widen to match the grin on his face as he goes through the prints. “Holy shit, these are fucking awesome, Tamilyn. Lance and Howard are going to love these.”
“I hope so. I’ve never done pictures like that before so I was thrilled with how they turned out.”
He continues to grin as he flips through the last one. He slides them back in the envelope and sets it on the kitchen table. “I can’t wait to show these to them.”
I grin. I’m proud of my work, and seeing how excited Austin is to see them makes me happier. That’s part of what makes my job worthwhile, seeing the reactions on people’s faces when they see the magic I captured through the lens.
“Are you hungry? I was going to say we could go get something, but how about we order a pizza and just hang out?” he asks, changing the subject.
I look at him and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. He’s being genuine. He’s stopping me from becoming a complete drunk too early in the evening and he wants to get us food. Here I am thinking constantly about his cousin.
“I do love pizza, but
there’s this sandwich place not far from here that delivers, so that’s good too. I have a menu in this drawer over here.” I brush past him to get to the drawer and confusion attempts to wash over me.
Did I just feel a spark when we touched? It’s probably the wine, Tamilyn.
I think Austin felt it too, though, because he just stops. I have no clue what he was getting ready to say but it must not have been too important. I pull the drawer open and see what I’m looking for sitting on top. I grab the piece of paper and hand it to him. His hand brushes against mine as he grabs the menu.
Good thing I didn’t pour that next glass of wine, or I may have just jumped his bones and we wouldn’t be ordering dinner. My God, did I just think that? I could slap my hand across my mouth right now. Drunk Tamilyn is not my friend. I’m more honest with myself right now, and in this moment I realize I couldn’t pick between Ruston and Austin if I tried. I like both of them. What a fucking mess.
Austin doesn’t realize that I’m standing off to the side practically carrying a conversation with myself, thank God. He’s intently staring at the menu and his head pops up. “This looks really good. What do you normally get?”
“I, uh, I normally get the club wrap. It’s one of the healthier things on their menu, but it’s really good.”
He gapes, and he almost laughs but he doesn’t. “Tamilyn, I’m buying dinner. I know girls like to eat healthy and all that shit, but you’re gorgeous. You have a rocking body. Eat a real sandwich. Come on, live a little.”
My face flushes. His brutal honesty has me squirming in my skin but it feels good. “Okay, um, just get me whatever you’re getting then.”
“That’s my girl.” He grins as he points at the Philly cheesesteak. I can handle that. I nod as he grabs his phone and calls the order in.
He turns his back to order and then places the menu back in the drawer. I notice the muscles in his back as he makes all these little movements and my legs move on their own closer to him. So close that when he turns around, our chests bump. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I mutter.
He brushes my cheek with his fingers and he lifts my face to meet his. “Are you? I could swear you did that on purpose.”
“I, uh…” I can’t even speak before his lips crash against mine. The taste of his kiss mixed with the wine on my breath is intoxicating and my body feels as though it’s floating on clouds. Or maybe that’s because when I open my eyes, I’m sitting on the counter instead of having my feet on the floor. I didn’t even realize he picked me up but now that I stop to collect my thoughts, I can feel the cool touch of the counter on the backs of my thighs.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, breaking the kiss. I can’t even catch my breath right now to say anything back. We’ve kissed before but never anything as mind-blowing as this. When my words fail to exit my mouth, he leans in again, and my arms wrap around his neck. He places a hand on my bare thigh and I shudder. This is what I get for wearing shorts today. His fingers travel up to the hem on the leg of my shorts and I squirm. These shorts tend to ride up when I sit so the hem is so close to where I’m aching the most for him, and he knows it.
He continues sliding his finger inside the fabric. My panties are beginning to moisten and he’s about to find out just how moist they are. When he touches the fabric, he moans, “Oh fuck.” All he needs to do is slide the fabric over and he does just that. It’s my turn to moan and it comes out a little louder than I anticipated. “You feel fucking amazing,” he whispers into my ear.
He dips his finger into me and I toss my head back as my hips thrust toward him. My eyes are closed. I’m lost in this moment. He continues to finger me, making his movements quicker. My arms move from his neck to around his waist. His lips crash back on mine and all I can do is moan into his kiss. My orgasm is building, my insides are tightening, and I’m so close. I open my eyes briefly before closing them again. When I close them, though, all I can see is Ruston and there goes my orgasm.
Fuck. For the first time in my life, I fake an orgasm. I pretend to ride out the waves of euphoria that should be crashing around my insides and pray that if we get this chance again, my head will be on straight.
“That was amazing.” I’m not lying. It was amazing. I just couldn’t fucking orgasm.
“You’re pretty amazing. I’m sorry. That happened so fast. I just couldn’t help myself.” He steps back for a moment.
“No. Don’t be sorry, Austin. There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about.”
“You sure, Tam?” he asks sincerely. Shit, why is he so nice? What happened to the bad boy?
“I swear.” I smile. He helps me off the counter, and I chuckle. “I’ll wipe this off before our dinner gets here.”
“I’ll help you.” He opens the cabinet underneath the sink, grabs the spray cleaner and a paper towel. I think he’s going to hand it to me but he doesn’t. He cleans the whole thing himself.
My mouth gapes. I’m in the process of trying to fight off the guilt. How in the hell could I have thought about Ruston in a moment like that?
Oh, maybe because we drunkenly slept together and it was amazing. I head into the bathroom. I never lock the bathroom door behind me, but I do today. I need to catch my breath and I need to think for a moment without him standing there looking so gorgeous.
When I finish in the bathroom, I sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. Ruston made it clear what he wants from me, so why can’t I just erase him as quickly as he erased me? I feel around all my pockets for my phone but I remember it’s not in there. I wanted to try to text him. Yeah, I can try all I want, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to text back.
I climb up off the floor and flush the toilet. As I emerge, the smell of bread and cheese steaks hits my nose. As I walk into the kitchen, my stomach growls. I’m so glad I suggested sandwiches. Austin has the table set up with our sandwiches and a beer for himself. I’ve decided I’m done with the wine for tonight, so I fix myself a glass of tea. I stop and stare at the sandwich before I bite into it. Austin raises his eyebrow and eventually tells me just to take a bite. When I do, it’s amazing. I eat the entire sandwich and I’m so full afterward.
We clean up our mess together before I ask him if he wants to watch a movie. I’m actually having a good time with him, just relaxing, and I’m not ready for him to leave. He picks out a movie on TV and I snuggle against his side as it begins. I don’t know how it ended, because somewhere between the beginning and the middle, my eyes closed.
***
Bright lights. Christ, did Austin wake up and turn all the lights on? When I open my eyes, I realize it’s morning sunlight, not the lights in my house. I sit up and realize Austin isn’t here anymore. Did he leave? Oh hell, I’m a terrible host. I just fell asleep on him. I need to check my calendar to find out what day it is, and while I’m examining it, he emerges from the bathroom.
“I didn’t know you were still here.” I startle. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Don’t be sorry. I fell asleep too. You have a very comfortable couch, by the way.” He smirks.
“Yeah, I should have known the minute we both sat down we’d pass out. We didn’t even really get to talk or anything.”
“I know, because I wanted to tell you something pretty fucking awesome.” I raise my eyebrow. “Howard at the gym asked if I am ready to fight in the ring. The guy whose girl had the baby, he’s taking a few more days off and there’s a fight coming up.”
My eyes widen as the smile spreads across my face. “That’s really awesome, Austin! You should have told me this sooner. I want to be there.”
“I want you there too. When I get all the details, I’ll let you know. I hate to just run out on you, but I have to get to the gym.” He leans in and softly kisses my lips. My fingers roam upward to where his lips just were. It’s funny, but I don’t feel that electricity I felt last night. Maybe I’m just not awake enough yet.
“I’ll talk to you later.” I walk him to the door. His gaze lingers on min
e for a moment before he leaves. The first thing I do is lock my door and go grab my phone.
The first thing I see is a message from Ruston that was sent mere minutes ago. My eyes almost cross as I make sure I’m reading this right, because last I heard, he never wanted to see me again. I should just delete these messages. I’m sure he sent them by accident or something, but being the fool I am, I open them.
That was quick Tammy Lou, even for you. You’re fucking him aren’t you? I know he stayed there.
Irritated, I reply quickly.
Excuse me? He fell asleep on the couch Ruston and nothing happened.
You’re a terrible liar. I just hope you’re happy.
I retort.
I’m not, but is that what you want to hear?
I know my cousin and I know you. You don’t have to lie to me.
You said you were done with me, what do you want?
I really want to know.
I want nothing from you. While you were fucking him, I got my dick sucked so maybe we’re even.
You’re a fucking asshole.
You made me this way.
I throw my phone down and scream in the quietness of my apartment. Why is he doing this to me? I don’t care what the hell he does in his spare time but this jealousy has just gotten worse than it was in the beginning. Maybe I should have just screwed the hell out of Austin. Maybe that would have made this a little bit more bearable, because then Ruston would have assumed the truth.
Chapter 18
Austin
I pull up at Lou’s and stare at the spot where Ruston’s truck should be. I figured he would have texted me last night or this morning when I didn’t come home, but I haven’t heard from him. I’m beginning to feel a little awkward, but I’m sure he’s just busy. I shrug it off and grab the envelope of pictures off my seat. I can’t wait to show these to Lance and Howard. Tamilyn caught some amazing shots. I still can’t believe how fucking awesome they turned out. Howard may want to bring her around the fights from now on.