“That’s the truth.” Jack met her eyes and raised his glass to her with a slow smile.
Michelle felt her cheeks flush with heat as she looked down into her wine, but she couldn’t resist a smile in return.
Chapter 20
It startled Jack to discover Noah in the cabin when he’d returned. At first he braced himself for the possibility that Noah wouldn’t be pleased, but when he heard his son speaking to Michelle, he relaxed.
It was a strange sensation to see Michelle and Noah together. All at once everything felt right to Jack, as if this would be how things were for the rest of his life. When Noah had a big event in his life, Michelle would be there at Jack’s side to witness it.
But would she allow him to do the same for her sons? Did she even want him to be that for them?
Jack poured them all a glass of wine, and as they chatted in the living room, he began to relax more. As much as he enjoyed seeing Noah, he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Michelle. The glow of her cheeks, the flutter of her lashes, the tilt of her chin—all of it captivated him.
Another woman might have insisted that Noah leave so that they could have their time alone, but Michelle would never do that. He admired the way she spoke to Noah with an open heart, and when she advised him about his future love, Jack understood exactly what she meant.
Noah set down his wine glass on the coffee table and stood up from the couch. “It’s getting late, I should head out before the roads get icy. Dad, can I speak to you for a minute?”
Jack tensed up at the request. This was it. Noah would be polite in front of Michelle, but when they were alone he would likely lose it on him.
“Sure I’ll walk you out.” Jack stood up.
“Michelle, it was a pleasure meeting you. I’m sure I’ll have the chance to see you again sometime.” He offered his hand to Michelle before she could stand up.
Michelle smiled and took it. “Thanks, Noah, it was great to meet you. Be careful on your drive home.”
Noah’s smile spread wider and he nodded. “I will be, thanks.”
Jack met Michelle’s eyes as Noah walked past him. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Take your time.” She waved her hand at him.
Once the door was closed behind him, Jack looked over at Noah, who stopped at the edge of the porch. He rested one hand against a column and looked out at the driveway.
“I’m sorry, Noah. I should have let you know we would be here.”
Noah shrugged and glanced over at him. “I don’t expect you to tell me every detail about your life.”
Jack shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans to keep them warm. “Still, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to see me here—with Michelle. We’re staying in separate rooms—”
“Dad, stop. Please.” Noah laughed. “I don’t want to know about your sleeping arrangements.”
“Oh, okay. I just didn’t want you to have the wrong idea—”
“Dad.” Noah turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. “I see how happy you are with her. I know that at first I wasn’t so supportive of the idea, but I see such a difference in you with her.” He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. “You’re like I remember.”
“Like you remember?”
“Relaxed, happy—not so serious.”
“I guess I am.”
“That’s what matters to me, Dad. You have a right to live your life, to be happy. I want that for you, just like you want that for me.” He met Jack’s eyes. “I’m not going to stop you from going after what you want, but I will tell you the one thing that you’ve always told me. Love is not to be taken lightly.”
“You’re right. I don’t intend to take it lightly.”
“She’s got young kids.”
“I know that.”
“They’re going to need a father.”
“I know that too.” He frowned. “Would that bother you?”
“Not at all. You were, and are, a great father. They’d be lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, Noah.” Jack swallowed hard as he reached out and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “It means a lot to me that you would say that.”
“I mean it. I don’t know where I’d be without you. Enjoy your weekend.” He gave his father a quick hug.
Jack wrapped his arms around him and hugged him close for much longer than Noah was likely comfortable with. “I’m always here, Noah. No matter what.”
“I know that, Dad, I do.”
Jack watched as Noah walked to his car and then drove away. It warmed his heart to think that his son approved of his relationship with Michelle, but it healed a deep fear within him to hear what Noah’s opinion of his parenting was. As much as he doubted whether he had been a good enough father to him, now he knew that Noah was whole and happy.
When he stepped back into the cabin Michelle had refilled their wine glasses.
“Everything okay?” She looked up at him with a nervous smile.
“Everything is perfect.” He walked over to her and caught her hands in his own. As he looked into her eyes he saw more than a beautiful woman, he saw his future and a joy that he never even realized he wanted to experience. “I am so grateful for you, Michelle.”
“I’m grateful for you too, Jack. Are you sure everything’s okay? Noah wasn’t upset, was he?”
“No.” He smiled. “He gave me his approval.”
“That’s good.” She smiled.
“Michelle?” He pulled her closer.
“Yes?” She stared into his eyes.
“I know that I said I’d be patient and that’s still true. But I want you to know, without a doubt, that I would love to be part of your sons’ lives, in whatever way you’d choose to allow me to be.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak. Instead she kissed him with such passion that all of his thoughts and concerns vanished.
Chapter 21
Michelle’s mind swirled with different reactions. She loved that Jack wanted to be part of her sons’ lives, but she also wasn’t sure if that was the right choice just yet.
“I think we need to talk about it a little more before we take that step. We’ve gotten to know one another, but we don’t know who we are when it comes to parenting styles.”
“I understand.” He lifted his shoulders in a mild shrug. “I’m fine with you taking the lead.”
“It’s not like you’ll be able to see them very much anyway, since we are several hours apart.” She tried to slow down the pounding of her heart.
“It doesn’t always have to be that way. I mean, there are ways to make changes if we decide that’s what we want in the future.”
“That’s nice to think about.” She smiled. “Haven’t you gotten used to your bachelor life, though?”
“The only life I couldn’t get used to is one without you.” He held up a hand and grinned. “Don’t worry, no pressure.”
“Oh, great.” She laughed. “Well, I suppose that I did attempt to seduce you with my cooking.”
“Attempt? Sweetheart, you succeeded at that a long time ago.”
“Good to know.” She ducked her head to hide the blush in her cheeks.
“Where do you see yourself after the boys are grown?”
She sat back in her chair and gazed at him. “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought about it too much.”
“Well, it’ll be here before you know it. Time went by so fast for me with Noah.”
“I believe it. It seems like it was just yesterday that they were toddlers, now they’re going to be teenagers. In some ways it makes me sad. In others, I’ll admit, I kind of look forward to a time when I’ll have a little more freedom.”
“There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to that. Although I do miss having Noah around.”
“What about you? What kind of future do you see for yourself?” She met his eyes.
“Honestly?” He held her gaze.
“Yes, please.” She smiled.
“When I think of the
future, all I see is you.”
“Oh, you are quite the charmer.” She pointed her fork at him playfully. “Good answer.”
“Hey now, watch it with that fork. I mean it.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “Is that too much for you?”
“No.” She shook her head as she stroked the back of his hand. “Honestly, I never really thought much about the future before I met you. Now I feel like I can finally believe in it again.”
“To our future together.” He picked up his glass.
She picked up hers as well. The soft clink that echoed through the cabin echoed through her heart as well. There it was, a spark of hope, that not only could she be happy again, she could love again.
As he set his glass back down, she was overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Was it worth the risk to love again? What if he were to change his mind? What if he were to suffer the same horrible illness that her husband did.
“Don’t you find it a little scary, Jack?”
“Scary?”
“To have this feeling.”
“A little.” He nodded and finished the last bite of his food. “But in my experience the good things in life are always a little frightening.”
“That’s true.”
“Our weekend hasn’t been scary, has it?”
“No, it’s been perfect.”
“See? I think sometimes we scare ourselves with what we expect, instead of what we actually experience.”
“That makes sense to me. I’m always anticipating what will happen next. I guess I’m still waiting for something bad to happen.”
“Nothing bad is going to happen.” He reached for her hand again. “I’m here, and I’m going to make sure that nothing bad happens.”
“That’s not something that you can really promise, though it is a sweet sentiment.”
“It’s more than that.” He squeezed her hand. “No, I know I can’t protect you from everything that could go wrong. But I can promise you that I will be there at your side, no matter what you have to go through. You won’t be alone.”
“Then I promise you the same.”
He stood up from the table.
She reached for his empty plate, but he caught her other hand before she could grasp it.
“Leave the dishes. I’ll do them later.”
“Nonsense, I can wash them right up.”
“Leave them, Michelle.” He drew her right up out of her chair. “You’ve been taking care of people for a very long time. Once in a while you need to let someone take care of you.”
“But I don’t really need to be taken care of, Jack.”
“No, you’ve just convinced yourself that you don’t. We all need to be taken care of sometimes. But you don’t get that opportunity. While you’re here with me, just let me help, even a little bit. Just let me take that burden off your shoulders so that you can breathe and relax a little. Will you let me do that?”
“I guess I could—under one condition.”
“What’s that?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I get to watch.”
“What?” He laughed.
“Okay, I might find a man who washes dishes to be incredibly sexy. Don’t judge my fantasies.”
“Oh, I’m not.” He grinned and stared into her eyes. “I want to know more. Should I find an apron?”
“No, what you’re wearing will be fine.”
“Should I make sure there are bubbles?”
“Lots of bubbles.”
“Only for you.” He kissed her and then looked into her eyes again. “Let’s go fulfill that fantasy.”
She watched as he soaped up the dishes and laughed when he glanced over at her with an alluring smile. However, she couldn’t resist grabbing a towel to help dry the dishes.
When he was done he turned around to face her. “Now how about fulfilling a fantasy of mine?”
“I suppose that depends on what it is.” She set the damp towel down on the counter and smiled at him.
“Me sweeping a beautiful woman off her feet.”
“I suppose it’s only fair.”
Chapter 22
Jack held her close and a moment later his lips found hers. As the kiss continued Michelle raised her arms from his waist to his neck. Her hands cradled against his skin made him tingle from head to toe. The joy of her embrace was mingled with the sorrow of the anticipation of being away from her.
In one swift movement he swept her up into his arms. She didn’t protest as he carried her into her bedroom. He set her down gently on the bed, then lay down beside her.
“I should be taking you skiing, or shopping, or anything else, but all I want to do is be close to you.”
“That’s all I want too, Jack.” She kissed him again.
His heart raced.
Her fingertips coasted along every exposed inch of his skin. The experience didn’t just summon desire as he was accustomed to, but a sense of comfort, as if even though he pushed her too much about when they would see each other again, she understood and loved him anyway. The way she gazed into his eyes with such love made every bad thought that crept up in the back of his mind disappear.
“Will we be together one day, Michelle? All of the time? Is that what you want?”
“Yes, it is. I’m sure of it. But I need to think about my boys first. I need to make sure that they’re ready, that I’m ready, that you’re ready. I know you may not be able to understand that, but it’s what I need. Can you trust me?”
“Yes, I trust you.” He kissed her lips, her cheeks, the curve of her neck, then wrapped his body around hers. He thought he might have found a true miracle as his lips returned to hers again. Passion ignited within him, unbridled as it demanded release. He slid his hand just beneath the hem of her shirt and coasted his palm along the skin of her stomach.
“Jack.”
He felt her stomach cave as she drew a sharp breath in. He brushed his lips down the curve of her neck. Dazed by his need for her, he looked into her eyes. “You are so beautiful.”
She shivered and caught his hand as it traveled just a bit higher. “Please.”
He smiled as he looked into her eyes expecting to find the same passion. Instead he saw fear.
“Michelle? What’s wrong?” He drew his hand back. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry. I know this is natural, and I don’t want you to think that I don’t want it too. But I just can’t. I’m just not ready yet.”
“Don’t apologize.” He rested his head on the pillow beside hers. “You don’t ever have to apologize.”
“I’m so very attracted to you, Jack, but when I close my eyes I just—”
“You see him?”
“That’s horrible, isn’t it?” She searched his eyes.
“No, it’s not. It’s to be expected. You haven’t been with anyone else since. I remember you telling me that you didn’t think you ever could be.” He caressed her cheek. “Remember that long talk we had?”
“Yes. You told me that when I was ready, I would know it.”
“I still believe that. Don’t push yourself. When you’re ready, it will feel right.”
“But it does feel right. I want to be with you, Jack.”
“I want to be with you too. We have all the time in the world. We don’t have to force anything. All I want is to be here, beside you, if that’s okay with you?”
“It’s more than okay.” She gazed into his eyes. “I don’t know how you can be so understanding.”
“I don’t know how I couldn’t. We’ve both lost someone we held dear, and that’s not something you just leave behind. When you love someone you carry them with you always.”
“Then how can I ever be with you?” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “What if I can never let go of him?”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to let go of him to be with me. All you have to do is open your heart a little wider. I will never replace your first love, the father of your children. And I don’t want to do that.
But I promise you, there is room for me in that heart of yours, we just have to wait awhile longer, maybe.”
“Okay.” She sighed and rested her head against his chest. “You must be right, because I’m already in yours.”
“Yes, you are.” He stroked her hair until her breathing became steady and heavy. To his surprise, having her fall asleep in his arms was even more intimate than anything else that he’d hoped for.
Chapter 23
Jack’s eyes fluttered open. The scent of vanilla and the warmth of skin as soft as silk greeted him. He sighed as he pulled her closer to him. It was warm under the blanket, and warmer still where her body nestled against his. Her parted lips and flushed cheeks made it nearly impossible for him to resist kissing her, but he did. She needed to rest more than anything.
He studied every tiny detail of her face, from the faint wrinkles by her eyes, to the freckle beside her nose. He admired her in ways that he didn’t think were possible.
He’d always been rather objective when it came to beauty. He could identify what was beautiful and what wasn’t. His late wife had been nice-looking and he’d dated quite a few pretty women. But when it came to Michelle, he couldn’t tell if she was pretty or not, because he finally understood what the word beautiful meant.
It had nothing to do with the curve of the mouth or facial symmetry. It had everything to do with meeting a person who took away your objectivity and left you with nothing but adoration. He loved her, there was no getting around that.
Even thinking about their weekend coming to an end caused his heart to lurch in his chest. He wanted to be a bigger part of her life, but he knew it wasn’t so simple for her. She had two lives that depended on every choice that she made. If he couldn’t be the man that she needed, that they needed, then their hearts would be broken again.
If Michelle loved her husband the way that Jack now loved her, she’d already recovered from a devastating loss. For her to risk another one made her the bravest woman he’d ever known.
It was easy for him to claim her, to trip over himself in his clumsy attempts to seduce her and possess her, as she’d pointed out. It was simple. He wanted her; he would do whatever it took to get her.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 5 - 8 Page 33