A Restored Man

by Jaime Reese

  "I've grown up, Mami," he said, sitting upright.

  She smiled the way only a proud mother could. She reached down and raised the edge of his pant leg. "You asked me to send the boots to your address at the halfway house, but I wasn't sure you'd still wear them."

  Cole smiled. "Every day. Thanks for getting them resoled." He knew it was silly, but he didn't have the heart to discard Marco's boots after he had passed away.

  She looked at him appraisingly, then reached out and pulled the edge of the knit beanie over his ear.

  Cole leaned over and kissed his mom's cheek. "Thank you, Mami." He ducked his head and squeezed his mom's hand. "I feel as if I failed you. I'm not as good as they are. I try. I swear, I'm trying."

  "You are special, mi amor. Stop trying to be like your brothers or sister. You are each different and special in your own way." She reached up and placed her hand on Cole's cheek. "You haven't failed me. Your spirit is still there, in here," she said, moving her hand to Cole's chest, above his heart.

  "I know I disappointed you when I got arrested. I'm sorry," he whispered. He'd never spoken the words even though they weighed heavily on him whenever he thought of his family and the pain he caused them.

  She rested her head on his shoulder. "Children make mistakes but the important thing is the lesson you learn from those mistakes. Having you away was difficult but I wasn't disappointed, I was worried. I didn't want prison to dim your smile or your laughter." She looked up to him and smiled. "It's still there and that's all that matters to me."

  He placed a gentle kiss on his mother's forehead. "Sorry I couldn't send you any money while I was away."

  She straightened and slapped him on the hand. "I have all the money you ever gave me in a separate account. If you need it to get settled, it's yours."

  Cole's brow lowered. "You didn't use it?"

  A soft smile spread across her face. "When your father died, the life insurance helped pay for things and Vanni invested the rest. I knew it was important to you so I let you do that. All I've ever wanted was for my children to be true to themselves and do the best they can. I've always wanted you to be honest, not just to others, but to yourself. To do what you love, because then, I know you will do it well and be happy. That's all that's ever mattered to me. The money was never important."

  "You're so wise. You're like my little Yoda."

  She scowled. "I am not that little creature with big ears."

  "I'm your favorite," Cole teased and gently bumped his mother's shoulder. "Admit it."

  "You are, mi amor."

  Cole laughed then glanced at his mother's smiling face. "You say that to all of us, don't you?"

  She patted his hand and smiled. "Of course."

  They looked over to the edge of the porch, quieting at the sight of Julian watching them.

  She leaned over and whispered in Cole's ear, "He's very protective of you." She retreated and squeezed their clasped hands. "Please stay for a while longer and spend some time with the family."

  Cole looked over to his mom. "I will."

  She rose from her seat and walked slowly toward Julian. She reached up and rubbed his shoulder, whispered something to him, then walked back into the house.

  Julian walked over and sat on the bench by Cole. "You okay?"

  Cole nodded, looking at the bent tree in the yard. "What did she say to you?"

  "She told me she could walk back by herself. She asked me to sit with you for a minute."

  Cole gave Julian a sideways glance. "She babies me."

  "And you love that shit."

  "Of course I do. I missed it." Cole tugged on his sleeves and looked off to the side, gathering his thoughts. "I had a talk with my brother."

  "I know. He ran over to where we were sitting and told your mom what happened," Julian said, unbuttoning the cuffs and rolling up his sleeves.

  Cole turned his head slowly toward Julian. "You're kidding?"

  Julian pursed his lips and shook his head. "I swear I hadn't seen a woman as small as your mother hit a grown man that hard. I think your brother's going to have a bruise on his arm come morning. She couldn't believe he had told you that years ago. Man, she was pissed off."

  Cole smiled weakly. "She's a tough little thing, but I wouldn't trade her for anything."

  Julian smiled and slung an arm over Cole's shoulder. "Thanks for bringing me today. I know I was supposed to be a prop for your mom today, but honestly, she reminds me a lot of my mom. I almost forgot what that felt like. Watching you guys together. That was…nice."

  Julian pulled his arm away to check his chirping phone. "Matt and Aidan are here. I'm going to meet them out front. By the way, Jessie's hanging out in the living room. He got here a while ago." He rose from the seat and walked inside.

  Cole sighed. He tugged the sides of his beanie and took a deep breath. He rose from the bench seat and walked back into the house, looking around for his friend. Jessie was standing at the corner of the room with one of Cole's cousins. They wrapped up whatever they were saying, and she walked away, leaving Jessie on his own to fidget with his cup.

  "Hey there," Cole said, walking up to him.

  "I was looking for you," Jessie said before reaching out to offer Cole a hug. "You've got a big family."

  "I know. It's like a loving mob." Cole looked at Jessie in his dark blue fitted suit and held back a smile. "A suit? Dude, you wore a suit to an outdoor Miami party?"

  "You didn't tell me what was appropriate. All you said was that it was your mother's birthday and it would be like a big family reunion," Jessie said, shaking his head. "That doesn't help me at all. I don't have family reunions."

  Cole chuckled and slung his arm over Jessie's shoulder. "If anyone can pull off a suit and still look cool, it's you, little man."

  Jessie elbowed Cole. "Don't call me that," he said, feigning anger.

  "Aidan's here," Cole whispered.

  Jessie looked up, biting the edge of his lip. "You invited him?"

  "Nah. But that's never stopped him before. What are you guys waiting for? Just jump the man already. You know he's interested," Cole teased.

  A dark, flush of red flooded Jessie's cheeks. He looked up at Cole with a hopeful expression. "How do you know?"

  Cole squinted his eyes and tapped his temple. "I can sense a darkness in our midst."

  Jessie laughed and pushed him away. "You're impossible."

  Cole stepped back, giving Jessie some room. He knew Jessie had personal space issues. He teased sometimes, but he never pushed too much. "C'mon, all kidding aside, I think he's waiting for you to make the first move. He can't take his eyes off you when you're around."

  A smile tugged at Jessie's mouth. "I hadn't noticed that."

  Cole rolled his eyes. "I call bullshit. How do you not know? It's creepy as hell. Can't you feel his eyes on you like he's feeling you up?" he said, extending both hands and wiggling his fingers slowly.

  Jessie shoved him away playfully. "I don't. I just know when he's around because I feel…safe. Like everything is going to be okay. Hard to explain," he finished quietly.

  "Cole!" a family member yelled from across the room.

  He looked over his shoulder and waved, then turned back to Jessie. "Are you fine hanging out on your own for a bit?"

  Jessie nodded. "It's like hanging out with a hundred little Cole personalities."

  Cole squinted his eyes and pursed his lips. "Oh, you are so going to pay for that one, little man," he said with a mock sneer before walking away.

  Cole greeted more family, carried a few of his nieces and let the older aunts pinch his cheeks until they hurt. Why the hell was it that older women didn't seem to grasp the concept that he had grown up? He didn't care. He was happy. He loved being around people and hearing the laughter that filled the room. He looked off to the side and noticed Aidan sitting in the corner of the room, away from the crowd. He walked over to the glowering Calloway and sat in the spot next to him on the couch.

  "Col
e," Aidan said in greeting with a flex of his jaw muscles.

  "Aidan," Cole responded in the same tone. He followed Aidan's line of sight and held back a grin. "I didn't realize you were into suit porn."

  Aidan turned. "What?"

  "He's your Kryptonite."

  Aidan scowled and focused his piercing hazel gaze on Cole. "What?"

  "Your Kryptonite. Your weakness. Like Superman," Cole clarified.

  The scowl deepened in Aidan's expression before he turned to focus his attention back across the room. "I don't know what you're talking about."

  "Him," Cole said, pointing to Jessie who stood across the room chatting with another one of Cole's cousins, or nieces, who knew. He was losing track of his growing family.

  Aidan pushed down Cole's hand. "What are we, in elementary school or something?"

  "I could say the same thing to you. Go ask him out. Pass him a note if you can't say the words."

  Aidan sat quietly, rubbing his hands together, trying to busy himself.

  "You Calloways like to make things harder sometimes. You see him almost every day at his office or the station or at the halfway house to talk about Cam's case updates," Cole said in a mocking tone with air quotes. "Just walk over there and make a move."

  Aidan's jaw muscles flexed. "Stay out of it."

  "No."

  Aidan gave him a sideways glare. "You, literally, have no boundaries."

  Cole sat back and crossed his arms. "What are you worried about?"

  Aidan lowered his head and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath as if trying to compose himself. "Can we just drop this?"

  "Oh c'mon. You can't just open a door like this and expect me to walk out voluntarily."

  Aidan turned with a death glare in his eyes. "I didn't open the door and welcome you."

  Cole sat up and neared Aidan. "Bullshit. The moment you started eye-fucking him across the room in my vicinity, you threw open the door. Just walk over there and work your"—Cole moved his hand around in a shooing manner—"whatever it is you do."

  Aidan sneered.

  Cole pointed at Aidan's face. "Yeah that! Do that bulldog look. Maybe he digs it. Just do it already. If you don't make a move, someone else will. He's an amazing guy. You can't expect him to be alone forever."

  Aidan returned his focus to Jessie and continued to stare, unfazed by Cole's comments.

  "I think you just want him to cave. To admit he needs you," Cole said, looking over at Jessie on the other side of the room. He sighed as his mind wandered. "Everyone wants to feel needed."

  Aidan looked at him, the anger replaced with a pensive expression. "This conversation is over," he said, standing and leaving Cole on his own on the couch.

  Cole smiled, enjoying the loud jokes he heard and the even louder laughter echoing throughout the house. He looked over and saw Julian with Pulga wrapped around his neck again talking to Matt. Mami was making her rounds, taking plates of food to anyone who seemed as if they didn't already have something they were nibbling on. He missed this. He leaned his head back on the cushion, stretching his arms across the back of the couch and closing his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he sat that way before he felt the seat dip at this side.

  "I'm sorry."

  Cole opened his eyes and saw his brother Rio sitting next to him, fidgeting. He wasn't sure what he was expected to say, the anger from their previous exchange still tugged at the corner of his mind. He couldn't be expected to just wipe away all that with a simple 'I'm sorry.'

  "I don't know what you want me to say to make things right," Rio mumbled. "It's hard being in the middle."

  Cole withdrew his arms from the back of the couch and turned to face his brother. "Don't play the victim. I can easily say it was tough being the youngest and always getting the leftovers but you don't hear me bitching."

  Rio wrung his hands in his lap. "Just tell me what to say or do to make this right. I didn't mean to hurt you like that," he finished quietly. "I know what to do on paper, but I missed the Renzo class on dealing with people."

  Cole looked at his brother and couldn't contain the chuckle that bubbled to the surface. "Well, I'd say that sums you up about right," he said. "You are the smartest. Even Carmen won't argue that point."

  "And she argues everything. You'd think she was the lawyer in the family," Rio added.

  Cole huffed a laugh.

  "I'm sorry, Cole. I don't know what else to say to make it right."

  "Just give me some time. I lived with this weighing on me for over two years. It's not going to go away in a few hours."

  Rio nodded. "I understand. If you need me, I'm here for you. Okay?"

  Cole nodded. His brother patted him on the knee and left him alone again. He loved his family but it was too much at times. It seemed as if everyone ran at the same full speed. He knew he was tough to tolerate—more often than not—but having to deal with so many Renzos at once was difficult, even for him. He rose from the couch and circled the room again, working the small clusters of family a little at a time. Julian and Matt left after a while with a promise to return to pick him up later that day. Everything was going great and he knew they were dying to have some alone time with everyone out of the house.

  He spent more time with his mom and sat with her for a while, letting her embarrass him with stories of when he was a child. It was her day. She could have anything she wanted.

  After the crowd thinned out, he walked to the backyard again, enjoying the blissful silence of the empty yard. Overall, it had been a good day, far better than he could have hoped for.

  "There you are."

  The day just got better.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd know that voice anywhere. "I didn't think you'd make it," he said, turning to see Ty standing there in black slacks and a gray dress shirt.

  "My appointments took longer than expected. I wanted to swing by to see you, even if only for a minute," Ty said, squinting to avoid the sun hitting his eyes. He walked over to Cole and stood in front of him. He reached out and tugged the edge of the beanie. "You even wear these on weekends?"

  "My mom knit this one. I had to wear it," Cole said. "Did you meet her?"

  Ty nodded. "Petite woman, dark hair in a bun, green eyes, and your same pushy personality. Yeah, I met her. She spotted me as soon as I walked in and cornered me," he said. He looked away as if thinking of what to say then looked back at Cole. "She said I better be good to you."

  Cole stilled. "She tells everyone that," he said, praying like hell that would fit with whatever else his mother may have said. She had no shame and wouldn't put it past her to embarrass him, especially if she liked Ty.

  Ty looked back at Cole and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think that's what she meant."

  Oh, he was going to have it out with his mom. Cole pulled Ty to the side to guide him to the covered terrace area, out of the sun. "Who else did you meet on your way over here?" he asked, hoping and praying he hadn't met too many Renzos along the way who might scare him off.

  "Your sister, Carmen. She's uh…"

  "Did you run away really fast?" Cole asked, snickering.

  "I tried," Ty said, smiling sheepishly. "She told me where you were so I came over here."

  "You look nice. Was your appointment a date or something?" he asked, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy.

  Ty shook his head. "I changed before coming over. How did things turn out here? I know you were anxious yesterday."

  "It was fine, better than I thought it would be. Are you staying for a bit or do you need to leave?" Cole asked, hoping to have some time with Ty outside of the shop.

  "I don't have anything else for today," Ty said with a smile. "I can stay if you'd like."

  "I'd like that." Cole led Ty inside the house and enjoyed the rush of cool air hitting his face. How the hell some people loved working outside in the Miami heat was a mystery to him. They sat on the small couch in the corner and waved at a few of the lingering family members as
they walked by them. They laughed and swapped childhood memories, ignoring the curious stares they received. Cole would close his eyes and let the current pass between them when their arms brushed accidentally. He wanted to be close to Ty, to know what it felt like to touch him, to kiss him.

  Sometime later, Cole glanced up at the clock and couldn't believe how much time had passed. "I'm glad you stopped by."

  Ty looked over and grinned, his eyes holding more joy than Cole had ever seen in his expression. "Me, too."

  Cole removed the last of the spark plugs and snuck another glance at Ty. He couldn't stand this anymore. His eternal hard-on had only been compounded after stealing a few hours with him at the party.

  "So what was it like? You served two years, right?" Ty asked, reaching into the engine.

  Cole laughed. "You make it sound as if I was a patriot doing my country a service or something."

  Ty half smiled. "Are you wearing Captain America today?"

  Cole looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. Fucking tease. He wiped his hands with the shop towel and undid the top button of his pants, lowering the front just enough to reveal his underwear. He looked down casually as if he were seeing his underwear for the first time that day. "Fantastic Four," he finally said, looking up at Ty.

  Ty stilled and dry swallowed, his gaze fixated on Cole's underwear. He recovered relatively quickly and grinned. "Four?"

  Cole zipped up his pants and grinned. "I can guarantee you…that is absolutely no reflection of what they're guarding."

  "What would be appropriate?"

  "Iron Man," Cole deadpanned.

  Ty chuckled quietly and shook his head. "Where does this obsession with superheroes come from?"

  Cole shrugged. "They're cool."

  Ty cocked his head, watching Cole with that inquisitive stare that pushed him to always want to say more. "It's more than that, isn't it?"

  He shrugged again, not really sure what to say. "They're tough. They've been through something life changing and it made them stronger." He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to avoid fidgeting.

  Cole stared at Ty as a mix of emotions raced across his face before he looked away, lost in thought.