The Talented Mr. Rivers
Page 22
That quickly, all the anger rushed right back out of Will. He stood there empty and confused. When he studied Hunter’s face he saw the same emotions mirrored there. “I don’t—”
“I didn’t intend to kill Peter.” Hunter took another step, closing the gap between them. He lifted his hand and almost touched Will’s arm before letting it drop. “I tried like hell not to, but Gatt’s bullet…” He shook his head again. “I’m sorry.”
The pain radiated off him. Will could feel it and wanted to tamp it down. “Hunter.”
“I am a fucking mess without you. Seeing you at night and not being able to talk to you or really touch you…” His voice dropped off, something it rarely did. He usually ran into a conversation and took it over. Not this time. “It wasn’t enough.”
Will saw the truth then. The drawn face and pale skin. The tightness around his eyes and the way he rubbed his stomach as if it ached. He hadn’t run. He hadn’t moved on. He’d been struggling.
Will knew he should celebrate the fact that Hunter cared, but seeing him brought to his knees hurt as much as the thumping in his shoulder. But right behind that came another sensation. A sense of calm. A spark of hope.
“You really have been here.” He repeated the words playing in his head because he still couldn’t believe them. He half expected Hunter to shoot him down.
Hunter winced. “Except for a day when I thought I was going to be arrested for treason.”
“What?”
Hunter waved off the concern but his expression didn’t brighten even a little. “Didn’t happen.”
The conversation kept bouncing around. Will tried to grab the threads. He wanted all the answers but the part about Hunter not leaving swamped everything else. He had to focus to sound even a little rational. “Why would it?”
“Because I chose you over the mission.” Hunter touched Will then. Put a hand on the side of his face and let it slide down to his neck to rest there. “Would every single time.”
Will stopped breathing. “Why?”
“Will, come on.”
No, he couldn’t back down now. Will needed to hear it all. Hunter couldn’t hide from this. Not if they were to have any sort of chance. “Say it.”
Hunter’s hand dropped. Slipped over Will’s chest, then down to his side. “That I fell for you? That I fucking love you even though I don’t want to and barely know what that means? That the idea of not seeing you again, that Seth would ship you off and refuse to tell me your new name so I’d have to track you down, nearly killed me?”
Will fought back a smile but it filled him from the inside out. The spark of hope burst into a full-blown flame. “All of it. That was good.”
“What?”
He knew Hunter needed more and rushed to give it to him. “You didn’t kill Peter. I was there. I know what happened.”
“I couldn’t save him.”
“You saved me.” Will could only move one arm, but he put one of his hands on Hunter’s cheek. On this point he was willing to plead and beg to make him understand. “In every way.”
And that wasn’t a line. Will knew the truth. Understood now that he had been living in denial about his family and had pretended not to see. Eventually that would have destroyed him. Either that or Stacia and Peter would have killed him for his weakness—or, knowing them, just for spite.
Hunter’s hand covered Will’s. “You were never going to be them.”
“But I was going to live on the periphery, knowing what Pentasus was and not doing anything about it. I was going to be a sort of silent partner, bartering my silence for my freedom.” Will had to own that. No matter what happened next, he did need to shoulder some of the responsibility for his family’s choices.
“You would have broken away.”
Hunter still didn’t get it, but Will did. “You made me stay and fight. You made me better.”
“But you lost Peter.”
He still talked tough, but Will could feel Hunter weakening. Hunter wanted to take on all the guilt and be the one who’d messed up. Punish himself. Will wasn’t about to let that happen. Not now that he’d seen a glimpse inside Hunter. He might look like he could handle anything, but he was human and a bullet wasn’t the only thing that could knock him down. The emotions moving through him seemed to be doing a good job.
“And I’ll mourn him because he deserves to be mourned, but I gained you.” Will leaned in and pressed a light kiss on Hunter’s mouth.
“I do love you.” Hunter’s voice sounded scratchy.
There it was. The final promise that made a future possible. Will refused to let it slip away. “You act like it hurts to say the words.”
“From what I can tell, love fucking sucks.” Hunter frowned even as his arms wrapped around Will’s waist. “I worry about you. I have this guilt and now my future is confused and all twisted up.”
The slamming in Will’s gut over losing Hunter eased. The rest of the crushing pain and guilt would take longer. Will knew that. But now he had a reason to push on. A reason not to run.
“I love you, too.” Will’s fingers traveled over Hunter’s face. Slipped across his cheek and over his lips. “Does that help untwist it?”
“Depends. Do you mean it?”
Will laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Are you asking if I’ve told anyone else that today?”
Hunter still frowned. The concern, the need to believe, and the fear all still lingered in his eyes. “I need to know what you mean.”
“That we’re in this together.” Will kissed him again. Longer this time. Long enough for Hunter to kiss him back and make it hard to pull away. Will did because he had more he needed to say. “Look, I have no idea how to untangle the mess of our lives or what we do next. I just know I don’t want to leave you. We can make this work. We have to or I don’t know what happens to me. Without you…I can’t see it.”
For the first time in what felt like forever, Hunter smiled. “I’d follow you and drag you back to me.”
“That’s pretty damn romantic.” Hell, for Hunter that was almost bigger than the admission of being in love.
Hunter sobered up. The wariness still lingered. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
That Will understood. They’d need to figure out how to merge their lives and do a better job of working out their issues. “Me either.”
“We take it slow and work it out,” Hunter said, then froze. “But we still have sex.”
“Of course.” The man was predictable on some points. “But you have to decide if you’re ready to take on an unemployed guy with no job prospects.”
Hunter’s hold tightened and a hand moved down to cover Will’s ass. “You’re also supposed to be dead.”
He sure wasn’t from the waist down. The way their bodies slid against each other proved that. “Right. A dead guy with no money, family, friends, or prospects.”
Hunter winked. “You sound perfect to me.”
Chapter 22
Hunter loved this time of day. The morning light peeked over the buildings and bounced off windows and roofs. He’d never thought about things being pretty, but Paris wasn’t a bad place to live, even temporarily. They’d be relocating to Spain soon. But for now he could watch Will stand on the small balcony with his coffee mug and watch the city wake up.
“Good morning.” He slid his arms around Will and rested his chin on Will’s shoulder.
The sling was gone now. Will complained about an ache when it rained. Otherwise, he tried to do too much and lift too much. Hunter spent most days lecturing about recovery. Not bad compared to their lives before.
Will pressed his cheek against Hunter’s. “I thought you wanted to sleep in.”
“Only if you’re in bed with me.” Hunter hated waking up alone. The cold sheets always threw him into a panic that didn’t subside until he saw Will in the apartment.
“I promised myself once I stopped being on the run I’d appreciate the freedom of being outside.” Will turned his head
and kissed the side of Hunter’s face. “Sorry.”
“No problem.”
They’d survived the last month. All the questions and paperwork. Will had spent hours looking at photos and identifying people. Hunter had sat with Seth and his team for days on end poring through documents and bank accounts and everything they’d uncovered about the Rivers family and its dealings. Through the file that arrived as a part of the arrangements Will’s father had made. The one that could not be traced.
He had a another month of mandatory leave as the internal investigation raged on. During that time the BND would decide his fate. Hunter knew he should care, but he didn’t. Seth had made it clear there would always be contract work for him. They wouldn’t starve, especially because everyone agreed Will could keep the money his mother had left him.
The number in the account made Hunter’s knees buckle, but only the fact that it came from his mother seemed to matter to Will. He’d happily forfeited the rest of the estate and all the accounts without even blinking. It was a hell of a lot of cash and property to leave on the table, but he had his life back.
“Well, Aaron.” Hunter trailed a line of kisses down the side of Will’s neck. “Man, I wonder how long it will take to get used to that name.”
“So long as nothing else changes, I’m fine.”
Hunter turned Will around to face him. Slipped the cup out of his hand and put it on the small table next to them. “What would change?”
“I can’t lose you.”
The words were stark. Hunter felt them to his toes. He understood because he felt exactly the same way.
Hunter slid his fingers into Will’s hair. “Then you’re safe.”
“You know something? The sunlight will be here tomorrow.” Will’s hands went to the top of the shorts Hunter had thrown on. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Sounded perfect to Hunter. “I knew we were meant to be.”
To all the readers who asked for more—I hope you enjoy Hunter and Will’s story.
A huge thank-you goes to my amazing editor, Shauna Summers. You see things I don’t and make every sentence better.
I also want to thank my agent, Laura Bradford, for having faith in this series. And to the readers and reviewers who read, talked about, and pushed this series—thank you!
BY HELENKAY DIMON
Mr. and Mr. Smith
The Talented Mr. Rivers
About the Author
HELENKAY DIMON spent the years before becoming a romance author as a divorce attorney—not the usual career transition. Now she writes full-time and she’s much happier. The author of more than thirty novels, novellas, and short stories that have twice been named Red-Hot Reads and excerpted in Cosmopolitan, she’s on the board of directors of the Romance Writers of America and teaches fiction writing at the University of California, San Diego, and MiraCosta College.
helenkaydimon.com
Facebook.com/HelenKayDimon
@helenkaydimon
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