by Allie York
Blair clenched her jaw. “You think that’s how I wanted it to be? Fuck you, Jax. You made the agreement right along with me. We weren’t dating, you didn’t want a fucking girlfriend!” she screamed in my face. “You wanted no strings attached, fucking and done. That’s what you got!” She tried to get out of my lap, but I held her tighter. Blair fought me, pushing and kicking for me to let her up. “Let me go!”
“No!” I snapped, and she went still. I didn’t loosen my grip and she stayed tense. I was done with the bullshit and the rules. “New rules. You want to go out for dinner, I take you. You want sex, I provide it. You want to keep the baby, I’m there with you. Most important rule, do not tell me what I fucking want.” Blair’s bottom lip trembled again, and she choked out a sob, nodding her head.
“Yeah?” Her voice cracked.
“Yeah.” I kissed her head and her whole body relaxed. “I came here when I was little. I would come here and watch the water. No one ever comes to this beach.” I laid my head on top of hers and watched the water until it got dark. Blair fell asleep cradled in my lap. It was a perfect place to sit and think about the potential of becoming a parent. I wasn’t the guy who planned on a family, ever. Blair wasn’t the maternal type either, but I could see it. I could picture her getting ready for the first day of school and stuff.
“Blair.” I nudged her enough to get her to stir. “We should go, beautiful.” Blair blinked those dark blue eyes up at me and I smiled. I helped her up and stretched my legs. Blair looked out over the darkness of the ocean a breeze moved her hair and finally stood up. We walked in silence back to my Jeep, she climbed in and pulled her knees up again.
The drive back to her house was tense silence. Every time I looked over to her, she was still curled into a ball, cheek on her knees, eyes closed. I let her have her time. There would be time to talk, time for us to disagree and come to a decision. We would end up yelling at each other again. Us arguing over this was inevitable considering how we started our relationship, but it could all wait. I pulled into her driveway behind Ivy’s red truck and waited. Blair didn’t move, didn’t look up, just sat still in the seat.
“What the hell am I going to do?” she finally whispered.
“We,” I corrected.
“You’re not fucking pregnant, Jax,” Blair didn’t yell, but her tone changed. “I’m pregnant. I’m the one dealing with this.”
After taking a deep breath, I came up with an answer that I hoped would make her see that I wasn’t going anywhere. “I know, but you’re not alone. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” I reached over to take her hand, but Blair jerked away from me.
“I think I need to be alone.” She uncurled and looked over at me. “Thank you Jax.” She picked her phone up from the floorboard. “I’m going to go in and get some rest.” Blair leaned over to kiss my cheek. I watched like a dumbass when she climbed out of my car and walked up to her door. I heard Ranger bark. The door closed behind her and I tore out of the Jeep, praying she hadn’t locked the door. I didn’t want to beat it down with Ivy there, but I would. The door opened when I turned the knob. I threw it back and both the girls squealed. Ranger barked at me then came over for attention. I locked eyes with Blair across the room and shut the door.
“Hi, Jax.” Ivy didn’t sound surprised to see me but did sound confused.
“Hi.” I took two steps toward them and Blair shook her head. “We need to talk.”
“Go home, Jax.” Blair rolled her eyes and turned to leave me alone with Ivy. I ran after her, grabbed her arm and dragged her into the bedroom.
She started to protest, but I put my hand up to stop her. “Please get in bed. I’ll get your car back here, I’ll take Ranger out, and I’ll be back in here when I’m done. Don’t argue, don’t fight with me right now, just do it. Please.” I look her in the eye and don’t back down from my request. Finally, Blair relented and went to her bed. Once she laid down, back to me, I kissed her on the head and left her to rest. Ivy was waiting for me in the living room.
“Want to tell me what that was about?” Her arms were crossed over her chest.
“It’s kind of private.” I knew that everything would get back to Oz before Blair was ready if I didn’t handle it properly. “Her date was a huge dick, I got called in to play her brother and run him off. Then I said something stupid.” I shrugged like I always said stupid shit.
“You apologize?” Ivy uncrossed her arms and I nodded. “It was nice of you to save her then. I’m going back to bed.”
“I’m gonna walk my dog then go get her car. Feel better.” I called after Ivy when she retreated down the hall. Ranger was at the door waiting for me, so I took him for a walk, brought him back in and let him in his crate with a bone, then grabbed her keys off the table. I would need someone to help me get the car back without telling Ozma so that limited my choices. I parked at a shopping center two blocks away, walked to her car and drove it back to where my truck was parked. Then I called Drew.
Thirty minutes later, I’d picked Drew up and driven him to where Blair’s was sitting. He didn’t question me when I called and said I needed help. He didn’t question me when I picked him up in my car. As soon as I pulled up next to Blair’s lime green car, Drew turned his gaze on me. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Drew and I weren’t close, not even work friends, but things were about to change. “Not really,” I admitted.
He looked from me to Blair’s car. “Okay then.” He started to get out of my Jeep, but I cleared my throat. “Could you not mention this to Harris?”
“Only if you tell me what I’m getting into.” Drew cocked his head to look at me. I suddenly felt bad for being a dick to him.
“Blair got sick and I came to take her home. I just need to get her car back to her,” I explained.
“Blair got sick and didn’t call her best friend or her roommate?” Drew gave me a look that said he could see through my bullshit. “If you say so, man.” I got out and handed him Blair’s keys.
“It’s not far and I’ll run you back home. Thanks dude.” Drew took the offered keys and nodded at me before climbing into the green car and following me back to Blair’s place. I spent the twenty-minute drive trying to wrap my head around it all. Everything from the party to sitting on the beach with Blair seemed so far away, so distant, but in one day, my life had been upended. I wasn’t mad, or upset, just confused. I pictured myself with a wife and kids someday, not soon, but in the future. I never put a face on my partner until I started falling for Blair. With her I could be me, not hide who I was, my past and my faults. In the time we were together I fell in love, hard, and couldn’t imagine a life without her. I just hoped I could get her to understand that I was in it with her, no matter what.
Chapter Eleven
Blair
I slid from under Jax’s arm and grabbed my bag from the closet. I kissed Ranger’s nose through the cage and went to the car. I had a stop to make before I left. I wasn’t staying gone forever, but I had to get away. I started the car, backed out and went to Ozma’s house. I knew better than to wake the baby, so I sent her a text and waited in the driveway for her to tell me the door was unlocked. I left my bag in the car and slowly walked up to the front door. I hated to do it, but I didn’t have a choice. Ozma would be furious, but I couldn’t think about it. I rested my hand on the door handle, staring blankly at the blue door, thinking of the beautiful family behind it. I loved all three of them so much. I turned the handle and stepped inside.
Ozma was on the couch in her robe, looking tired and disheveled. She patted the seat next to me and the tears started stinging my eyes and nose. I blinked them back and came to sit next to my bestie. Without a word she threw her arms around me and hugged me to her. I let her hug me, fighting the tears. I love that Ozzy didn’t need to know a single thing going on to know what I needed. She patted my hair and squeezed me, letting the hug linger.
“What happened?” Ozma grabbed my shoulders and pushed me bac
k to look me over. I still hadn’t let myself cry, but the tears waited anxiously on my lashes.
“I just need a break Oz.” I cleared my throat. “I messed up and I just want to go away for a while to think. I need to sort my shit out.” I knew damn well that this explanation would never fly with her, but it was worth a try.
“You’re allowed to need a break, but you’re not allowed to lie to me.” Oz gave me her maternal glare.
I closed my eyes. “I did something really stupid.”
“How stupid?” Ozma glared. She was there when I pierced my own belly button and got it infected, she was there when I totaled my first car, and when I caught my kitchen on fire.
“The stupidest thing to date,” I admitted. Her eyes went wide. “I just need to go spend some time at mom’s.” I knew it was a terrible idea, but I had to get away. Mom was four hours away, so that seemed far enough for the moment.
“Did you kill someone?” Ozma was dead serious, and I snorted. She glared harder. “I mean it.”
“No.” I rolled my eyes and sniffled when I thought about saying the words. Ozma searched my face, obviously looking for some clue as to what I did that was so terrible. I opened my mouth to say it but closed it again. I was confused, and hurt, and scared as hell.
“Tell me,” Oz demanded.
“I met this guy,” I started and Ozma’s eyes went wide. She didn’t expect me to say that. “We’re perfect. Too perfect.” I rolled my eyes. “I love him, and some shit went down, and I really need to just leave for a while.” I knew it would be hard to say, all of it, but I didn’t think I was capable of crying so much. I didn’t want to leave Ozzy, or Conrad, or anyone. I already missed Ranger. A tear fell and I had to look down and my fidgeting hands.
“Who?” Ozma leaned back, resting her head on the couch. I immediately laid down, so my head was in her lap and closed my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it., I mumbled.
“Blair,” Oz sighed. “You don’t get to drop this bomb on me and not tell me what’s going on. I’m your best friend and I know I’ve been busy pushing a human from my vagina lately, but I’m going to need you to cut me some slack and talk to me.” I couldn’t help but giggle a little. Ozma didn’t demand more, and I didn’t answer her, not at first. We sat in the silence, quiet tears running down my face while she patiently waited for me to start talking. It only took a few minutes. Suddenly, like a dam broke, I was telling her a very vague version of everything. I left out the who and I left out the real reason I was running, but everything else was the truth. The ugly parts, the inappropriate parts, and the part about being madly in love for months. I told her about being a friend with benefits and having the best sex of my life. I told Oz all about him not being afraid of Ranger, and not caring about my past. I confessed everything I’d been hiding from my best friend for two long months. Once it was all out, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. My head was clear, I could take full breathes again.
“I’m pregnant.” I let the words spill out and braced for the fallout. Ozma tensed under me, I heard her gasp and felt her shock from my place on her lap.
“What?” Her voice cracked.
“I’m pregnant,” I repeated it. “It’s been a long day.”
“Does he know?” Ozma was going to ask me a million questions. I nodded. “How far along?” I shrugged. “How does he feel about it?” Another shrug. “How do you feel about it?” And another shrug. Ozma sighed.
“I need to go.” I started to sit up, but Oz put a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s three in the morning, Blair. Where do you think you’re going?” she asked it softly.
“I don’t know.” I knew damn well I couldn’t call my mom until at least eleven the next day. She was never up before that and wouldn’t get up for anything short of nuclear war.
“Just wait until the morning.” She started petting my hair and I closed my eyes. It didn’t take long for my breathing to even out and for me to drift in and out of a restless sleep. I heard the baby at one point, but Harris must have taken care of him because when I came out of my fractured sleep, Oz was still on the couch with me, her head thrown back on the couch, snoring softly. I sat up and stretched before switching sides. I laid my legs gently across my best friend’s lap and laid back down. I could have been planning my life, trying to figure out what a girl in my situation should do, but I didn’t. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
When I woke up again, I opened my eyes to see Harris and Ozma on the loveseat across from me, talking. Conrad was in the crook of Ozma’s arm making cute baby sounds. “What time is it?” I should have stayed quiet and tried to eavesdrop.
“Seven,” Harris answered. “You feeling better?” A normal man would have been pissed that his woman was woken up in the middle of the night for a friend to crash on the couch, but not Harris.
“I’ll get out of your way.” I sat up, and finger combed my hair, trying to look as decent as possible after a four-hour nap on a couch and my life being torn to shreds the day before.
I was barely on my feet when the doorbell rang, and Ziggy let out a sharp bark. Ozma shushed the dog and Harris got to his feet. I looked at Ozma who only shrugged. I took his seat next to Oz and took Conrad as Harris opened the door. The voice from outside hit me and had I been holding anything else, I would have dropped it. My heart stuttered to a stop, and my lungs decided not to inflate.
“Get out of my fucking way, Harris,” Jax demanded in a low growl. I wanted to look to Ozzy for help, I wanted to run out the back door, but instead, I stayed rooted in my seat holding my nephew.
“Not now, man.” Harris snuck a glance back at me and as he turned, I caught a glimpse of the angriest man I’d ever seen. Jax saw his chance and shoved past Harris into the house. Harris made a grab for his shoulder, but Jax caught his hand.
“Don’t!” Jax shouted at Harris, dropping his hand and charging toward me. The only thought going through my head was how fucking hot he was powering toward me. Ozma took Conrad from me and stood up, ready to face down Jax, baby and all. Jax sidestepped her and stood in front of me. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t look at him. I loved him, and I’d fucked everything up to the point where I had to leave. Yet, there he was looming over me in someone else’s home.
Jax dropped in front of me so we were eye to eye. “What the fuck?” If we had been in any other situation, it would have been funny, but it was anything but humorous. “You put me through all that shit today, then leave?” I swallowed.
“Jax,” Ozma began, but he cut her off.
“No!” Jax shouted again. “You don’t get to run from me, not now, not ever. I get it, this situation is fucked up, but I’ll be damned if you think you’re gonna take off with my kid. I said we do this together and that is what I meant.” He didn’t take his eyes off mine for a second. I heard Oz gasp and Harris sigh, but all I could see was Jax. I started to answer, but Jax interrupted. “Do you not understand, Blair? I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” He said it with so much honesty, so much conviction, that the tears came back again. When the first one fell, Jax caught it and stood slowly. He took my hand, pulling me up to face him.
“What now?” I finally asked.
“Now you tell me you love me too and stay with me.” Jax ran his hand up my arm then around my shoulders to wrap me in a hug. “Then you promise never to leave again.” He kissed the top of my head and I gave up. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him tight.
“Fine.” I tipped my head up to look at him. “I’ll stay.” Jax leaned down when I pushed up on my toes, and I fell into the first kiss of the rest of my life.
* * *
The End
Epilogue
Jax
I shoved Ranger off me when my alarm went off and smacked at the side table to find my phone before it woke her up. Blair groaned and rolled over, tossing an arm over her eyes, but she didn’t wake up. I slid out of the bed and tried to leave but noticed that Blair’s shirt
had bunched up over her stomach. I reached across as gently as I could and rested my hand on the tiny bump. It still blew my mind that my kid was in there. When she let out a soft snore, I pulled back and went to the closet. I’d had Oz bring me a dress, I had Drew go with me to pick out an outfit, and then I bought a bowtie, but that part wasn’t for me. I laid the dress out on the bed, left a note saying to meet Ranger and I for lunch later, and slipped out of the room, dragging the tired dog behind me. I changed in the bathroom, took Ranger out to do his business and loaded into the car. I had a ton of stuff to do before Blair woke up and got pissed. I’d have to ignore her calls and texts, or she would claim to be too tired to show up. It would ruin everything.
I got to the park just as Drew showed up and Harris pulled up behind him with Porter. After Drew came to help me with Blair’s car, things between us changed. We got along better at work, the pissing contest came to an end, and he turned out to be a really good guy. I still wasn’t sold on his brother, but Drew was a hell of a guy. When Blair and the girls went to see Oz and the baby, Drew came to have drinks with me and the guys. It was nice to have a friend like him.
With all the dudes there to help me, I’d have it all set up in no time. We worked for nearly an hour, hanging things and setting up. Once we were done, the place looked amazing. It took us carrying three trips worth of stuff across a hundred yards of sand, but we got it done and ready for when Blair showed up. Ranger wanted to go play in the waves, but I couldn’t let him get dirty until after the picnic, so he sulked on the end of his leash for the entire process. Once we were done, I promised the guys beers to celebrate and we waited. The longer we waited, the more panicked I got. Everything in my life had changed in one day. I’d handled it pretty well. I went from single and alone to with the woman of my dreams and preparing for a baby in one day. Blair moved in with me within a month, after I started collecting things from her house and moved them into my apartment. We hadn’t talked about much more than the baby after that. It wasn’t enough for me though. I had her in my bed, in my home, pregnant with my baby, but it wasn’t enough. I needed her to be mine. All mine.