Ravel

by Ryan, Shari J.

  I don’t know how to respond to that. “I can’t fathom writing out a will at eighteen. That’s when our lives are supposed to start. It’s not when we’re supposed to be planning what happens after it ends.” Plus, if I had to make out a will, I’m not sure I’d give anything to anyone—well, if I had anything to give. No one in my life is worthy of receiving anything I could leave behind.

  “Anyway, he just made being over there easier. Having someone to make you laugh when you’re in that kind of situation is a gift.” I can hear the fluctuation in his voice during the last part, and I can almost sense his pain. “He was a good guy, Daphne, a really good guy. He didn’t deserve to go out the way he did.”

  I place my hand on his back and squeeze him against me briefly. “That’s why you talk to the man in the moon? To give him your messages?”

  “Exactly,” he says. “He sent one back just a minute ago, actually.”

  “Oh really?” I laugh.

  “Yeah,” he snorts. “Rex wanted me to tell you you’re pretty hot.” He doesn’t look over at me while he says this, but the dimples on his cheeks deepen, and I’m glad he’s not looking at me because I can feel my skin ignite.

  “He said that, huh?” I play along.

  “Yeah, he knows a hot chick when he see’s one. He was also a pretty badass wingman.”

  “Kemper,” I say, sighing a little. “I’m with someone.” And it’s not by choice. Trent would kill Kemper if he saw me with him right now.

  He looks back up to the moon and clasps his hands, letting them hang between his knees. “Yeah, I know,” he breathes. “Anyway…” With another glance up to the moon, he continues, “Rex, my wingman, is dead, so you don’t have to worry about him.” He laughs to avoid the ensuing awkwardness, I think. But that is so not funny.

  I place my elbows down on my knees and rest my chin on my knuckles. “It’s nice here.”

  “Yeah, it is…because you’re here,” he says. “My new friend. There’s nothing better than a new friend.”

  Friend. Such a load of crap.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CURRENT DAY

  KEMPER

  I SHOULDN’T BE HERE with a taken girl. I shouldn’t be looking at her the way I am. I shouldn’t have been fighting a hard-on when she put her dainty little arms around my waist, but damn, every part of me wants to tell her to leave that loser so I can show her how much better it can be. Although, then I’d be setting myself up for this Tara situation all over again. Unless there’s a ring on the chick’s finger, there’s no hope in longevity when I’m overseas. I’ve already learned that the hard way. “What are you thinking about?” I ask her. She’s been quiet for the last several minutes; her focus is set on the water, a glaze of thoughts stirring in her eyes.

  “I’m thinking…I feel safe here.” Man. What I wouldn’t give to put my fist through that asshole’s nose right now. I wish I wasn’t out back when he came in. I wouldn’t have let her go after him. And yeah, I realize it’s not my place, but I would have made it my place.

  “Why do you put up with it?”

  “It’s complicated,” she laughs nervously, purposely avoiding eye contact.

  “You keep saying that. Tell me why.”

  Her focus shifts to my eyes, her brows puckering with pain. “Uh. Well. I just—I’m still not ready to get into this.” She shifts around uncomfortably, pressing the sleeve of her sweatshirt up against her face. “Besides, it’s not like some disgustingly hot guy jumped off a movie set to come woo me with roses and chocolate. Girls like me end up with guys like my boyfriend I guess. My mom and dad are prime examples of that. It is what it is, Kemper.”

  “That isn’t true.” I didn’t know anyone could be so brainwashed to think the best they deserve is an abusive boyfriend. So what if her parents have a similar relationship, doesn’t she realize that’s wrong too? “If you were my girl, Daphne, I’d woo you. And while I didn’t fall off a movie set, I sure do fit the rest of your fictional description of the disgustingly hot guy. Right?”

  Her arm thwacks me in the gut and she chuckles softly. “Yeah, right. A guy like you feels sorry for a girl like me. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

  I twist myself toward her and grab both of her shoulders, forcing her to face me. “Are you crazy or some shit?” Her body flinches at my question. “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. On top of that, you toasted to Rex with me last night. It made me see something in you I’ve never seen in anyone…understanding—an unspoken connection between two pained people. Besides that, I felt like I got punched in the gut when you said you had a boyfriend. I had all these crazy thoughts running through my head before that moment. I wanted to get your number, take you out, bring you roses and chocolate—make you smile and find out every bit of information I could about you so I could somehow convince you to spend more time with me.” I know I sound ridiculous, but I have to seize all moments. Rex taught me that there are no guarantees. And while I know this moment will do nothing for either one of us right now, I still feel like it needs to happen. “Look. I live my civilian life in short increments, and I don’t make friends or look for girls like some of the others do, but when I see something real—something with neon flashing lights telling me not to be an idiot and walk by, I act on it. I followed my instincts with you. Maybe it was wrong, but I think I’m kinda right.”

  The glimmer from the moon hitting a spot on her lips highlights the half-moon-shaped smile growing across her cheeks. Her eyes widen in suit. “You wanted to take me out?”

  “Yeah, but it’s all right, I sort of got my way.” I nudge my arm into hers. “If you were single, I would have taken you to dinner or a movie, but for now, I’ll settle for acting homeless on a beach.”

  The look in her eyes changes and she bites down on her lip. Don’t do that, Daphne. You’re killing me. Yup, they—whoever the hell they are—always say, “You want what you can’t have.” Ain’t that the damn truth.

  “I don’t want to be with him,” she says quietly.

  “Look, Daphne, as your friend—just your friend—I will never ever tell you what you should do, but please know that if you ever decide to jump off that deep end, I’ll be there to catch you. That’s what friends do for each other. Right?”

  “I suppose you’re right,” she says softly, looking off into the distance. She pulls in a lazy breath and relaxes her shoulders. “So if I jump, you’ll be there?”

  “Absolutely,” I tell her without skipping a beat.

  “Don’t you have a job and stuff?” she giggles. God, she’s got a cute laugh. It’s raspy and soft, sort of like her voice, but more playful.

  “Yeah, so don’t jump without giving me a warning. Deal?”

  “Deal.” She continues laughing and tangles her hair around her right ear, giving me a better look at her profile—her tiny nose, and lips that pout in a seriously sexy way. I know I’m staring at her, but I can’t look away.

  “You’ve asked a lot of questions tonight,” she says, twisting toward me, allowing me a full-on view of her entire face. You know how everyone looks better in the moonlight? Man, oh man, am I in trouble here. Every time I look at her, I feel like I’m losing a little bit more of my restraint. Is this from loneliness? I’ve never fallen so quickly for a chick before. It’s weird, but awesome at the same time. I would put this girl on a goddamn pedestal if she were mine. “Where are you originally from?”

  “Originally from this area, but I moved to Mobile, Alabama for a bit.”

  “Your family still there?” she asks.

  “Just my mom.”

  “Siblings?”

  “Yeah, a stepbrother, kind of. He lives out here somewhere, but we don’t talk. Our family is sort of estranged—to put it nicely.”

  “Your mom must be lonely down there, huh?”

  Not a day goes by where guilt doesn’t eat me alive for leaving, so I send her money and do the best I can to let her know I’m here if she needs me. “She is lonely. I
live up here and I’ve been deployed three times—it’s been hard on her. I’m hoping she’ll move up at some point.” She refuses to leave her mother’s trailer, though. Something about giving up her one and only asset makes her crazy. I get it, but I wish she’d come up here.

  Lost in thought for a minute, I hadn’t noticed the look Daphne has in her eyes right now. She’s staring straight at me and I’ve been around long enough to know what that look means. This girl definitely wants to kiss me. She’s staring at my lips and—she just licked her bottom lip. Seriously? What are you doing to me, Daphne?

  “Hey there,” I say, trying to interrupt whatever she’s thinking about. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “You’re, wow. You’re—” she says, or doesn’t say.

  “I’m what?” I ask, pinching my lips into a grin, watching as she fidgets with her sleeves.

  She lets out this groan and stands up, hopping from one foot to the other. “Let’s go,” she demands playfully, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me toward the water.

  “Wait! You didn’t answer me,” I say, tugging back.

  “I forgot what I was about to say.” She forces this confused look on her face, her eyes shifting toward the sky as if she were deep in thought. “Yeah, I just—my memory sucks.”

  I may regret this, but I duck and throw my arm under her stomach, flipping her over my shoulder. I kick my shoes off and run for the water, making sure to drag my feet heavily against the current so the water showers her a bit. She shrieks and strikes her fists against my back, but the harder she hits me, the more of a splash I make. “Put me down!” she cries out. The thought of hurting her or making her uncomfortable startles me, and I run out of the water, carefully placing her down on her feet. At first I think she might actually be pissed at me, but she falls to her knees, laughing hysterically. After a few seconds, she shifts back onto her butt and pulls her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. She’s still laughing, but I’m not. Something besides the thought of kissing me is going through her head right now and I have no clue what it is.

  After the couple of minutes it takes for her to fully compose herself, I drop down beside her, admiring the incoming tide. “Tell me not to worry about repercussions,” she says.

  “There’s nothing to worry about, beautiful.” The word “beautiful” slips from my mouth. Not that I didn’t mean it, but she’s in the middle of telling me she feels scared and that probably didn’t help. “Daphne, I’m going to say this as nothing but your friend, but that guy doesn’t deserve to see you again. He hit you. He’s the one who should feel scared. He should be feeling a lot more than scared, actually.” Like my foot in his ass.

  “Yeah, but you know, people get mad sometimes and lose control. Other times people want things they can’t have, and there are times where people will go as far as making threats to get what they want,” she says, looking down into the sand. She’s looking down because she knows it ain’t right. “It’s kind of what this is.”

  “People shouldn’t do that. It’s not okay, darlin’. He’s wrong and you don’t deserve that. I’m not saying that so you’ll dump his ass and come running to me…even though that’d be kinda cool, but as your friend, I will tell you that you shouldn’t put up with that shit. You’re only hurting yourself.” I might be forcing this friend thing a bit, considering we just met yesterday, but I feel strongly about this.

  “Ya know,” she sighs. “I’ve never had such an opinionated friend before.”

  “Guess you haven’t been that lucky,” I say.

  “We’re not really friends, Kemper.” I narrow my eyes at her, wondering where she’s going with this. Maybe she’s calling us out, since yeah, people don’t usually call themselves friends after knowing each other for less than forty-eight hours. I know that. I just thought she was going along with it.

  “Why is that?” I ask.

  “Friends don’t look at each other the way you’ve been looking at me.”

  I couldn’t agree more.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CURRENT DAY

  DAPHNE

  YOU KNOW THOSE MOVIE scenes where you see a soundless clip of a couple sitting together, going through the motions of laughing and talking, and laughing some more as the build-up of emotions get the best of them? Then there’s the long stare that says they’re wondering where the other person has been their whole lives, and where this moment is going? Then the darkness fades as the sun rises over the horizon, making it clear they spent all night weaving themselves into each other’s lives in some miraculous way.

  I think that’s exactly what just happened to me—us. The happiness filling my heart right now makes me want to cry. Why am I just meeting him now?

  We stayed up talking all night—I’ve always wanted to say that. It was just like the movies, except it was real, and I felt it all deep within my heart…a connection like I’ve never experienced before...like I didn’t even know was possible. Laughing has never come so freely, so easily.

  “Your turn,” he says, urging me to come out with another truth. We’ve been going back and forth for hours and each confession just gets easier.

  “I’ve lived in North Carolina my whole life and I’ve never watched the sun rise over the water.” There’s a lot I haven’t done. Suddenly, there’s a lot I want to do. It’s like someone lifted the blinders and I’m finally seeing clearly.

  “Okay. My turn,” he says, lobbing a pebble into the high tide. “This might sound dumb, but I couldn’t wait for the moment I could watch the sun rise over the water, rather than a mountain. I don’t know,” he breathes. “There’s something about the way the orange glow reflects off the blue, making everything in its vicinity look teal. Then there’s the second the sun hits your skin after a dewy night, making it feel like you’ve climbed under a warm blanket with a cup of coffee. That right there is the good stuff.”

  I lean forward on my elbows, curling my fingers under the cuff of my sweatshirt and twist my head to look at him. I’ve been avoiding it because he’s so damn perfect, but it’s hard to look away once I give in. With daylight pouring in, I can see the gel that was holding his short hair in place last night has worn off and his hair is now soft and spiked in different directions. There’s also a shadow of dark hairs covering his chin, which accentuates his long, black lashes. He catches me looking at him, and his lips slowly, almost coyly, reveal his illuminatingly white teeth. This is torture, and I think we’ve run out of words, which means all that’s left is staring.

  “Sunrise coffee?” he asks.

  Usually, I’d be heading over to the rink right now, but I go there for the rush. The ice serves as my caffeine, but this morning, I think I’ll settle for the real thing. “I’d love to.”

  “You told me last night that you normally hit the ice in the morning. I’m not keeping you from that, am I?” He listened to me. He heard everything I said. No one ever listens, let alone hears what I say.

  “You can keep me from it today.” After pouring my heart out to him all night, I don’t feel bad about being here. Maybe he’s being strategic in the way he’s trying to open my eyes and peel away my layers, but he isn’t forceful like my old friends were. I told him a lot, probably more than I’ve told anyone about my relationship with Trent, and while opinionated, he doesn’t seem judgmental. My friends would stop me after a minute of talking, call me a moron, and tell me to break up with the asshole. I’ve never been able to explain to anyone why it’s not that easy. I know it should be easy, and I’d love to say I’m strong enough to do it, but in truth, I don’t know that I am. And what if I’m not? I don’t know what the consequence will really be. Last night was just a hint of what he’s capable of.

  “Ready?” he asks.

  I stand up beside him and pull my phone out of my pocket, curious as to why it didn’t buzz at all last night.

  It’s off, that’s why. I shouldn’t be smiling, but I feel like I’ve been let off my leash, so I lea
ve it off.

  After we arrive back at his bike, Kemper hands me the helmet and I climb right on—this time without hesitation. Riding in the morning is even better than at night. The sun melting into my skin forces a smile across my lips, making the muscles in my cheeks nearly ache. My heart feels swollen with joy and the tingles in my stomach are turning into desire. It’s a new feeling, one I might become addicted to. It’s exhilarating.

  It takes us a bit to get off base, but then it’s only a few minutes more until we pull up to The Waffle House. I know I won’t find Trent here—way too many calories—so the high continues. “God, I haven’t been here in years,” I tell him.

  “What in the hell is wrong with you, girl?” he laughs, taking the helmet from my hands. “I bow down to this place. God, I haven’t been able to get this food off my mind for the past year.”

  “Wait. Is this your first real breakfast since you’ve been home?” I ask.

  “Why yes it is,” he grins. Oh my God, stop smiling at me. I’m going to become a puddle if he keeps looking at me like that.

  We slide into a booth and I take the menu, scanning my eyes down the long list of options. Dad used to bring me here every Sunday morning, but he usually ordered for us. I would only eat chocolate chip waffles when we went out for breakfast, so it was never a question of what I wanted. “What are you having?”

  “Eggs, bacon, hash—smothered, covered, chunked topped and diced,” he says without blinking. I burst with laughter, wondering what the heck he just said. He didn’t even pick up a menu.

  “What was that?” I place my menu down, leaning over the table toward him. “Was that even English?”