Trinian

by Elizabeth Russell

  Lillian cooed and reached out her arm from where Trinian held her, and the Golden King gathered her close to His heart. His gold-red beard tangled in her infant fist, and He was smiling again.

  “If we are no longer in infancy,” said Afias, “then what do we do now?”

  The Silver Lady answered. “Now you grow and learn. No one will be holding your hand – you will have direct access to all graces. Now Jacian must learn the art of being a Healer, so that the king will not stand in fear of the natural world. And Viol will find her own calling – indeed, she is already finding it.”

  “Yes,” the Golden King was practically glowing again, “she has never met me, but she knows me already.”

  The Silver Lady nodded. “These young people will pave the way in your new world.”

  When the sun was disappearing behind the purple ridge, The Golden King stood, and they all followed suit. “This place will never again be as it is now,” He said sadly. But then He brightened. “But it will help to purify the effects of my wicked servant on the land.” He stretched out His arms toward the mountains to the south, those Lavendier had once crossed to hear enemy secrets, those that partitioned paradise from Karaka, and with a great rumble, they parted at the center and swung outward like mighty doors. When they were pointing straight out, they fell still, and paradise was connected to Karaka by a deep gorge. Before anyone could speak, the King handed Lillian to Adlena, and then He and the Lady bowed deeply with warm smiles, and vanished.

  Afias stepped forward to try to catch them, but they were gone, and quite suddenly, paradise too disappeared, and when they blinked, they stood outside the red walls of Drian.

  114

  It Is Enough

  They were too dazed to do anything for a long time. They had not eaten, some of them in many days, but no one was hungry. They had all nearly died, but no one was tired. They all felt wonderfully well, and gloriously disoriented.

  The calm broke with the thunder of hooves. Gladier, Viol and Jacian galloped up to them from out of the city gates, full-tilt and reigning in sharply. The old wizard practically flew out of his saddle as he grabbed Trinian’s shoulders, his wide robes flapping in the wind and his beard bristling like he was three hundred years younger. “I saw Him. I saw Him!” he cried joyfully. “And you saw too, I know by your faces. He told me everything – all of it, the creation of the world, the call of the Healers, and by glory, it’s a marvelous tale! And now I say, at last I can be at peace!” He did a little jig on the lawn.

  As soon as the wizard let his sovereign go, Trinian darted to meet his son and swept him close into his arms. He pressed him to his heart, smelling his curls that were full of wind and fresh air. “And mother too!” the little boy cried, bringing Adlena into the embrace. “And this is Lillian, my little sister, who you hadn’t met yet. But you brought her home anyway. And she’s got lighter hair than me like yours, but I’ve got like mother’s. Did you bring my other mother’s sword back?” And he chattered on, telling them how scared Cila and Viol had been when they found him missing at Fort Saskatchan, and how relieved they were when they found him, and how scared they were for Trinian and Afias. “But I knew you’d find a way to save them.”

  It was left to Viol to greet Afias and Garrity, and she never could remember afterwards who she hugged first, but she held them heartily.

  “Power’s dead,” said Afias superfluously.

  She smiled at him.

  * * *

  Afias led Garrity to the Healory, his light feet hurrying along the stones of the path, his heart making his feet dance with anticipation, but Garrity felt like a weight was settling deeper and deeper over him with each step.

  “Come along, my friend!” Afias looked over his shoulder impatiently. He was now knit to Garrity through their experience together, but his heart yearned for Adrea, and his tongue could hardly keep still until he could tell her everything about the Golden King. He whirled on the path and gripped Garrity by the shoulders.

  “They are waiting for us!” he cried jubilantly, and because she must have heard his voice, Adrea suddenly appeared, running toward them out of the Healory. “Rejoice!” cried Afias in a voice so loud and jubilant that all three of them laughed. He ran forward, caught her in his arms, and whirled her around in the air. “Rejoice, my love, and be glad, for the Golden King has come to us, and he loves us with a greater love than we can ever love him!”

  “You saw him?” she asked in disbelief.

  “We saw him!”

  “Can I?”

  “No, I don’t think so. But he’s here, even now, and he promises never to leave, and he swears we will see him at the end of our days. He is waiting for us!”

  She was laughing, and cried out, “Well, it’s terribly unfair of him to make me wait, but I don’t mind! So long as he is waiting, it is enough. It is more than I ever hoped.”

  “There’s more,” said Afias as Garrity passed him and went toward the doorway. “I have to tell you about the Silver Lady.” Adrea side-stepped around her betrothed and caught Garrity’s arm before he disappeared inside. “Wake her up,” she told him. “She’s been waiting for you, and it’s not fair to let her sleep.”

  He nodded, and went inside.

  Despite Lady Adrea’s words, he half expected Lavendier to throw herself into his arms, to encounter her vibrant, bursting energy, and he braced himself for it. But his arms remained empty, and he looked around the room.

  She was asleep in the center, and he was suddenly in the cave again, bloody from Asbult’s death and shaking because she was dying… He shook himself. He was so raw. So happy. And so in awe.

  He approached the bed cautiously and sat down, swallowing and trying to think what to say. But words had never been enough for him – Lavendier was always the one to speak. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her, and to keep her safe forever. To show her she was loved – but so many men had said that to her before. She was jaded, a woman of the world, and he had never loved another… While he agonized, her eyes opened and she looked at him.

  “You’re here!” She sat up and threw herself into his arms, just as he had thought she would. “I was so afraid – Gladier knew not if you were alive or dead. And then he said you were fine, but I could not believe it.”

  His heart swelled at her closeness, and he held her tight. Long, hard, and close.

  After a moment, she pulled back, and he loosened his arms. “He said you were covered in gashes all over, let me see you.”

  She inspected him seriously, a puzzled frown growing over her eyes when she saw how whole and healthy he was, so that finally he had to laugh, and with the laugh, he said it simply. “I love you.”

  She stopped inspecting him, and looked into his eyes. Deeply. As if she doubted him.

  “And I am sorry,” he continued, his voice overfull with emotion, choking him while he tried to say the words. “Laven, when I fled my mother, I swore to myself I would never tie my life to another’s; it was always easier to risk death instead of my heart. But you, Viol, Jacian, Cila, Adlena, Asbult, and Lillian – you all loved me so fervently that I could not keep you out.

  “When you left paradise, I had only begun to let you in. But since then my heart has been cracking from the inside out, until now it is wide open and yearning for you. Yearning with the deepest love. For it was not until I lay dead before the Golden King and felt the new life that coursed through me, that I finally realized just how broken I was. It was when the Golden God touched me, healing me, that I was made new.”

  Her eyes were shining as she looked upon him in bewilderment. “Garrity, what are you talking about?”

  “I died.” He smiled because it was an amusing thing to say. “I died, and the Golden King brought me back. He healed me – not just in the flesh, which is weak and will break again, I know. But He made me whole again, so that I can love, fully and without reservation. He gave me a new mother, a silver mother, and I no longer have to fear the old. But above all, he opened me to lo
ve you as I always ought to have. I am yours. Yours forever.”

  She was crying. He still had his arms wrapped around her, and she was sitting up in bed, leaning forward with her arms around his neck. She could not speak.

  “Is it enough to say it? Teach me what to say; I know not. I want to tell you I love you, but the words are inadequate. Too many other men have said them to you before me.”

  “I care nothing about any other maiden – only you. It is enough.” Her eyes glistened with a brilliance that made his heart ache. She rested her warm forehead against his, and she whispered the words that convinced him that they really were. She told him, “I love you.”

  115

  A Family Portrait

  He stayed with her a long while as she lay in bed, holding hands and content to rest in this new peace and love. Until suddenly, Lavendier reflected that Gladier might return and insist that she rest – he might even send Garrity away, and she clenched his hand hard.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  She looked up at him with dancing eyes. “Can you break me out of here? Please? I want a change of scene, and I dread that the doctors will send you away, for they keep sending everyone else out. You are truly the best medicine for me,” she added quickly. “Please?”

  He smiled. “I cannot say no to you. But are you strong enough?”

  “You are. Carry me.”

  He laughed heartily at that, and taking her easily in his arms, they slipped from the Healory, and Lavendier told him to take her to her quarters. Neither of them thought about how he had once feared those chambers, and how she had schemed to trap him in them. Not, that is, until they stood in the main room, and the thought occurred to them both at once, and they laughed gaily.

  “Oh, how I despised you!” he remembered, placing her gently on the couch.

  “And I wanted you for a trophy. Oh, I was despicable!”

  He knelt on the ground beside her. “Don’t think about it. It is past now – we have only the future.”

  Her face suddenly sobered. “I do have much to regret though,” she murmured.

  He frowned. “I know. And I am sorry for you.”

  “You said before that many men had told me that they loved me. You would be surprised how few there really were. ‘I want you,’ they said more than anything else. ‘I need you.’ But not ‘I love you.’ I love you means that you belong, and no one really wanted to belong to me.”

  He leaned forward. “I want to belong to you,” he whispered.

  She smiled tenderly and played with his brown hair. “You already do. Do you not know it? And I have belonged to you a long time; my happiness has been in your hands.”

  “I am not worthy.”

  “Say not so. Say you will try to be worthy. Say you will love me even when you are weak. Say you are honored to hold my happiness. Because it is yours no matter what, so you may as well claim it.”

  “I do claim it! I do. And you have mine. You were with me in the Karakan chambers. You gave me strength. I have grown in my love for you even from a distance.”

  “Every moment I was traveling or defending the city, I thought, ‘What would Garrity think?’ ‘What would he do?’ I wanted to make you proud, even if you could not see me.”

  “Always. I am always proud of you.”

  “Do you know,” she asked after a quiet moment, “I want to go on another adventure with you? You would think I would be sick of them, after everything.”

  His eyes shone happily. “You might think.”

  “But I love adventure!”

  “And I love you.”

  “Afias and Adrea are engaged to be wed,” she said after a long silence, in which the sun disappeared behind the garden wall outside the windows, and the sky was a rich, velvety orange.

  “Oh?”

  “Do you not think we should all be married together?”

  “I do.”

  * * *

  Viol found them an hour later, asleep; Lavendier on the couch, and Garrity with his head on her knee. The girl curled up comfortably on the floor and watched the stars come out in the sky, reflecting on the Golden King and what Afias had told her He had said of her, until Cila peeked in and joined her. Then Afias and Adrea came, and finally Trinian, Adlena, Jacian, and Lillian. Garrity was awake by then, leaning against the couch, and Viol was leaning against him. Adlena and Jacian sat with the king on another couch, each of them trying to snuggle as close to him as possible. Afias sat on the floor, and Adrea reclined beside him, and Cila watched them with tears in her eyes as she held Lillian close to her aching heart.

  By now, even Afias knew that Asbult was gone, and the hearts of all were heavy, even in their happiness.

  Outside the chamber, the servants were airing out the rest of the family’s apartments, laying them out for bed, but no one wanted to leave the circle. It was for this, the quiet miracle of love and family and peace, for which they had fought, and they basked in it, their hearts aching and hurting and full.

  Lavendier slept a long time, but she awoke at last, and was delighted to find them all around her. She wept and laughed openly, and her bright presence made them all even brighter. Garrity noticed the change, and remembered Asbult’s words: “You could not help but be happy in her presence… If she was happy, you wanted to laugh and dance and kiss everyone. You wanted to rescue her, defend her.” Yes. He was happier in the glow of her presence, and he would fight the battle as the Golden King had asked of him – for her, and for the world. They all would.

  From somewhere, in the brilliant glow of the Golden King’s presence, Asbult was smiling and laughing and loving them.

  116

  Future Happiness

  “All the laughter and merriment within, and I find you here.”

  At the sound of Garrity’s voice, Viol turned and smiled softly. She had slipped quietly from the noise of the reception and sought the solitude of the outer portico overlooking the city. “I wanted to soak up the joy of this moment.”

  Garrity came and leaned against the balcony. He gazed up at the silver light of the stars. “Beautiful.” He clasped his hands together in delight, and she put her little one over his.

  “Yes,” she sighed, and there were tears in her eyes.

  “And now,” he said, turning to her and taking both her hands in his, “we must find you a husband.”

  She laughed at him, but shook her head, smiling. “I shall never marry.”

  “And why not? Do you not see how happy we all are?”

  “I do. But it is enough for me that I see you with Laven, and Afias and Adrea together; that is not what I want for myself.”

  “And will you still say so, I wonder, when you find the one you love?”

  She shook her head again firmly, still smiling. “There is no one like that for me, for it is not my purpose. I seek happiness just like everyone else, but I know it will look different for me.” She looked at him and though he was nodding, his brow was furrowed in a frown. “You think I am wrong?”

  The noise and music from inside suddenly grew louder as the verandah door opened and Lavendier came through. “Here you are! I should have known I would find you two here together, away from the noise.” She went to Garrity, who drew her possessively into his arms. She belonged to him, and they smiled at each other at the thought.

  Then Garrity looked at his new sister. “I think you are right. The Golden King said your life would be different than ours.”

  “Yes,” Viol laughed at the thought. “Yes, I have thought about that. When Afias told me that the Golden King said I knew him, I knew he was right. And I was closer to figuring out my future than I have ever been. It is so close, I can taste it.”

  Lavendier leaned forward. “What will it look like?”

  “I am not sure yet, entirely. I will be alone, but not alone. I want to live for the Golden King – but I know not what that will look like yet. But oh, how I love him!”

  Lavendier touched her sister’s chin. “Look at
you.” The green gown Viol wore accentuated her full figure and the light from the stars shone upon her hair and in her eyes. “You are so grown-up.”

  “She is a woman,” said Garrity, “full of understanding, who knows her own mind.”

  Viol blushed and hoped they did not see it in the dark light; but they did, and it only added to her beauty.

  “But come,” said Lavendier impatiently, “won’t you two come back inside with me? The last dance is about to begin. Afias and Adrea are already on the floor.”

  “May I have the honor?” asked her husband.

  “Why do you think I came looking for you?”

  He kissed her, and she, laughing, grabbed Viol’s hand and drew them both inside.

  Epilogue

  Freed at last from the strain of watching his brother wreak havoc on the mortal realm, Fate rejoiced to sit in the Golden King’s presence and preside over Minecerva. He requested the honor of personal companion to the Kings of Drian, and The Golden King granted it. Eager to guard and guide, Fate settled over the world and took up a flaming sword and a ruling scepter, but his watch he threw far away into the sea. Let it sleep there while it ticked its rounds – the Golden King’s kingdom reigned, and nothing could undo it.

  Gladier took Jacian into the Healory and trained him there. Old as he was, and ready to pass on to his eternal rest with the Golden King, he refused to die until the prince turned thirteen and took his official place as a wizard. It was not until the very morning after the prince’s Healory ceremony that the old man was found, at last, at peace in his bed.

  Garrity and Lavendier took up Asbult’s mission to chart the entirety of Minecerva. They were a roaming, adventurous couple, friendly and fierce, eager to meet new friends and form new allies. As they traveled from one adventure to the next, Lavendier gave birth to two boys, Asbult and Habas, and later a girl they named Melcanta, whom they called Mel. Garrity and Lavendier never slackened in their pursuit of truth, constantly questioning the nature of love, of power, and of destruction. They asked themselves whether there was goodness in the realities that had been so abused by the gods? They tried to understand, and they taught their children the value of a never-ending thirst for truth.