The Widow's Choice

by Gilbert, Morris

  “Well, it has in this case. I’ve never seen such kindness from people in my life, Brother Charles.”

  “I wish you’d let me get Betty.”

  “Maybe later. But for a day or two I’d just like to try to pull myself together and be with the boys.”

  “We’ll respect your wishes, but don’t hesitate to call us. We’ll be available.”

  Alona watched as he went out to the car. He waved as he closed the umbrella. She waved back and tried her best to smile, then watched him as he got into the car and drove away. She went into the house and was met by Buddy, who whined and reared up on her. The dog was sensitive to the moods of the people around him, and he had been disturbed by all of the people filling the house over the last couple of days. He had gone into every room looking for Truman, and now he whined as if trying to speak. “Get down, Buddy,” Alona said. He dropped to all fours and went over to his favorite rug and flopped himself down, staring at the wall. Alona squatted beside him and scratched him behind his ears. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I really didn’t.”

  She went into her room to change her clothes, and when she came out, she went to the kitchen and looked around. The church ladies had brought more food than an army could have eaten. The table was full of dishes and bowls, the icebox was packed, and every countertop was full. “If this food would keep, we wouldn’t have to cook anything for a month.” She opened the cupboard to get a coffee cup and noticed Truman’s favorite cup. The sight of it was like a dagger to the heart. She stood staring at it, engulfed in loneliness. She grabbed a different cup and poured herself some leftover coffee. She took a sip, barely registering that it wasn’t hot.

  Footsteps approached, and Tim came into the kitchen. “You want something to eat, Tim?” she asked.

  “No, ma’am.” He stood there looking so forlorn and lonely, his lips trembling, that Alona went to him at once. When she put her arms around him, he said, “What will we do without Dad, Mom?”

  “We’ll go on, and you’ll make him proud of you.”

  Tim looked at her. “Do you think he can see us?”

  “Nobody knows really about that. Maybe so. The book of Hebrews says that we’re surrounded with a cloud of witnesses. Maybe he’s looking at us right now wondering how his boys are doing. In any case, we’ll all see him someday. And, Tim, I’m depending on you to help. You’re the oldest, and I’m going to need you to be strong.”

  He stood straighter and pulled away from his mother. “I’ll help you all I can, Mom.”

  “Here’s what we’re going to do.” Alona’s throat felt thick, but she forced herself to continue. “We’re going to talk about your daddy. We’re not going to pretend we don’t miss him. We’re going to talk about the good times we had with him.”

  “Mom, I can’t.”

  “Yes you can. Tonight we’re going to make ice cream, and you’ll have to turn the crank just like your daddy did. And after that we’ll listen to the radio and maybe play games.”

  “I don’t think I can do any of that, Mom.”

  “Tim,” Alona said quietly. She pushed a lock of his tousled hair back from his forehead. “As long as you are alive and remember your daddy, why, he’s alive too. He lives in you and in your brothers, and we have to hang on to that. Will you try and help me with that?”

  He bit his lip; then he looked at his mother and nodded. “I’ll try my best, Mom.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  New Home

  School started in September, and with the boys gone all day, Alona had more time than she knew what to do with. Since Truman’s death, life with her boys had been difficult. The boys had all been stunned by the loss of their father, but it affected them in different ways. Tim had grown more quiet and had lost weight, and it seemed to Alona that he was hurting more than his brothers.

  Zac showed his grief in a far different way. He had always been an outgoing lad, willing to tackle anything, but now there was an anger in him. He didn’t speak of it often, but from time to time, Alona picked up on the bitterness that he felt toward God for the loss of his father. She had tried to reason with him, but she could still see the resentment in his eyes and in his body language. He had announced that he had no intention of going to his Sunday school class with the new teacher, Mr. Jones, who had taken Truman’s place. It had taken all of Alona’s tact to finally talk him into going.

  Six-year-old Carl had an imaginative mind, and more than once he had come to Alona asking innumerable questions: Where do people go when they die? How can Daddy be in heaven? I saw him in the casket and they buried it. Will he look the same when I see him in heaven? He dwelled on these technical aspects of death, but at times he looked so lonely—and he spoke more and more to Hootie, which troubled Alona greatly.

  While Alona tried hard to help her boys work through their loss, she did not know how to overcome her own grief. At night she would reach out in her sleep for Truman and awake to the dreadful realization that never again would she be able to touch his warm flesh or hear his laugh. And then she was never able to get back to sleep. She had also lost weight, and the occasional glance in a mirror told her her features were drawn.

  One evening while the boys were playing tag with the neighbors outside, she answered the door to a small man in a business suit. “Yes. What is it?”

  “My name is Hawes. I’d like to speak with you, Mrs. Jennings.”

  “What about?”

  “I’m a lawyer for your husband’s former employer. I’ve come to discuss a settlement.”

  “Come in, Mr. Hawes.” Stepping back, Alona allowed the man to enter. She had been expecting a representative from the company or a lawyer to come. He took off his hat and followed her into the living room, and she waved him to a seat. “Won’t you sit down?”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Hawes put his briefcase on his lap and laid both hands flat on it.

  “I offer you my condolences on the loss of your husband, Mrs. Jennings.” His voice was soft, yet there was a peculiar hardness about him.

  “Thank you.”

  Hawes waited, but when Alona said no more, he cleared his throat and opened his briefcase. Pulling out a single sheet of paper, he said, “The company has authorized me to offer you this settlement.”

  She took the sheet of paper, skimmed it, then looked up. Their eyes met, and Hawes could not hold her gaze. He focused on something past her shoulder and shifted nervously in the chair.

  “A thousand dollars? That’s the company’s offer?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “That’s pitiful! You know it is, Mr. Hawes.”

  “I’m unable to argue the point with you, Mrs. Jennings. You probably know that business times are hard. The quarry is hanging on by its fingernails. This is all that the board authorized me to offer. I’m sorry.”

  “I’ll have to talk to a lawyer.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I understand, but I may as well put the matter plainly. I know you have a family and you need money. If you bring a lawsuit against the company, we are prepared to fight it in court. It could go on for two or three years or maybe even longer. These things are very slow.”

  “That sounds like a threat, Mr. Hawes.”

  “No, ma’am, not at all! It’s just the way it is. I know this amount is not large, but in truth it’s better than nothing.”

  “Your company is responsible for my husband’s death.”

  “That would be very difficult to prove in court. It would be hard to get any of the other employees to testify.”

  “Because they might lose their jobs?”

  “Oh, I didn’t say that!”

  “That’s what you meant,” Alona said as she stood up. “I will think about this. Good day, Mr. Hawes.”

  “Of course. And once again, my sympathy.” His sympathy was as hard and lifeless as the briefcase he carried.

  After he left, she sat down again and studied the paper more closely, but she found no encouragement there. Buddy came to her side a
nd looked up at her with his big eyes.

  “It’s all right, Buddy.” She stroked his head absently. “I’ll have to talk to somebody about this. We’re going to need money and fast.”

  ****

  Pastor Charles Hodges sat behind his desk listening to Alona. He had been concerned about the family. They still came to church regularly, but there was a lack of animation in their faces. The boys, especially, were unresponsive. He had tried to get them involved with the children’s activities at the church, but none of them showed much interest. As Alona told him about the insurance settlement, he ran his hand across the scarred walnut finish of his desk.

  “A thousand dollars?” he repeated when she stopped. “That’s pathetic!”

  “I said it was pitiful.” Alona shook her head. “But what should I do, Pastor?”

  “You should talk to a lawyer.”

  “I mentioned that to the man who brought this offer. He said if I took the company to court the case would go on for a long time, but of course, he would say something like that, wouldn’t he?”

  “Do you know Marvin Weatherby?”

  “Yes. He sings in the choir.”

  “He’s also an attorney, and I think you should talk to him. I’d be happy to call him for you and make an appointment.”

  “Pastor, I couldn’t afford to pay a lawyer.”

  “I don’t think Mr. Weatherby would charge you for looking this over and giving his advice. Even if it went to court, he may be willing to take the case pro bono. I know he’s done that in the past for people who can’t afford to pay.”

  “I guess if you think it’s best . . . I’m going to have to think about finding a job.”

  Hodges shifted uneasily. “That could be difficult. Jobs are hard to come by.”

  “I know, but there must be something. . . .”

  “Before you do, talk to Mr. Weatherby about this.”

  “All right. Go ahead and make the appointment.”

  ****

  As soon as the boys hit the front steps, Alona called out, “Come into the kitchen, boys. I’ve made some cookies.” They all filed in, and she set a plate of fresh-baked cookies on the table. “Here, this will hold you until supper.”

  Zac grabbed one and crammed most of it into his mouth, chewing fiercely. “These are good, Mom,” he said with a full mouth.

  “Don’t swallow them whole! You won’t taste a thing.”

  Buddy had followed the boys into the kitchen and was whining up at Alona. She broke a bite off of a cookie and gave it to him. “There you go, Buddy. Now, don’t bother me for any more.”

  Buddy looked up hopefully, but when he saw that the well had run dry, he plopped down, leaning against the wall.

  While the boys ate their cookies, Alona sat down at the table and asked them about school. They all shrugged and didn’t have much to say. Tim especially seemed lackadaisical about the whole thing.

  When there was a moment of silence, Alona said, “I’ve had to make a decision about our finances. A lawyer from the quarry came to see me a few days ago. He offered a settlement of a thousand dollars.”

  “A thousand dollars!” Zac exclaimed, his eyes opening wide. “That’s a lot of money!”

  “I know it sounds like a lot to you, but it wouldn’t go very far when it comes to paying the bills. It’d only be about eighty dollars a month for a year.”

  “Gosh, that isn’t much!” Tim murmured. “Is that all they’ll pay?”

  “That’s their final offer.”

  “They’re a bunch of crumbs! That’s what they are,” Zac said, picking up a cookie and biting it fiercely. “Why don’t we sue ’em? I’ve heard about that.”

  “I talked to a lawyer about it, and he says the chances are we might get a little more if we fought it in court, but it would probably take a couple of years, and we need the money right now to pay the rent, so I’m going to have to take it.”

  Tim’s face was twisted with anger. “So that’s all they think Dad was worth!”

  Only Carl seemed halfway satisfied. “Well, it will help, won’t it, Mom? I mean, you can pay the rent, and we’ll have enough to eat.”

  “We’ll be okay for a while, but we’re going to have to watch every penny.”

  “Mom, I want to quit school. I can get a job and help.”

  “That’s sweet of you, Tim, but there’s not much that a ten-year-old can do. Grown men can’t find work now because of the way things are. No, you’ll have to stay in school, but we’ll have to be very careful about buying only the essentials.”

  The boys got into the spirit of the conversation, suggesting ways that they could cut down on their expenses. Carl even suggested giving up baths to save on the cost of soap.

  Alona smile and mussed his hair. “We’re not going to give up bathing, son. We’ll just have to trust the Lord. He’s never let us down before.”

  ****

  During the next year, the family cut their expenses to the bone and somehow managed to pay the rent each month. It had been a slow, hard year. Alona had gotten some work cleaning houses, which had helped somewhat, but by the time school started again in 1939, the money from the settlement was gone. There was no choice but to move to a cheaper place to cut expenses.

  A truck was backed up to the front door of the house, and all three of the boys were helping carry boxes, along with two big men from the church and Pastor Hodges. Three women from the church were cleaning the rooms as each one emptied. When the last box was finally loaded, Pastor Hodges said, “Well, I guess that’s all of it, isn’t it, Alona?”

  “That’s all.”

  Hodge saw the sadness in Alona’s eyes and said, “I still think we could have found some way for you to keep the house.”

  “It was kind of you to offer to help, Pastor, but we can’t be beholden.”

  “I know you prefer to be independent, and I respect that. Well, come along boys. Let’s go to your new home.”

  After Alona had thanked the women who had helped, the family loaded into the pastor’s Ford. The two men got into the truck carrying the family’s goods, and Hodges pulled out and made his way across town.

  The section of town they were moving into was pretty grim. Alona didn’t say a word, but she felt her heart sink as they pulled up in front of one of the shotgun houses, the third from the end. Some of them had never been painted, while others looked just as bad with their peeling paint. The houses came right up to the sidewalk, which was strewn with litter. Although the weather was cold for September, many of the younger children were running around with bare feet.

  Alona got out of the car while the men opened the back of the truck and started unloading the furniture. Alona and the boys each grabbed one of the lighter boxes and took them into the house.

  The front door opened into a living area that was barely large enough to contain all her furniture. A door on the far side of the living room led directly into a bedroom, and the third room straight back at the rear of the house was a combination kitchen and dining area. Alona had looked at another house in the same row, and they were identical. This one was cleaner than the other one, and at least the roof didn’t leak.

  Hodges brought in a floor lamp and set it down. “I’ve already scheduled a work day for the men of the church, Alona. We’ll put some new paper on the walls, lay some new linoleum. It’ll look nice.”

  “Thank you, Pastor,” she said quietly.

  The boys had not seen the house before and were now making their way back into the living room after conducting a quick tour.

  “Where’s the rest of the house?” Tim asked, a pleading look on his face. “Where’s the bathroom?”

  “I’m afraid that’s all there is,” Alona told him, putting her hand on his shoulder. “The bathroom is out back.”

  “This is a crummy place!” Zac concluded after his tour.

  “Shut your mouth, Zac!” Tim said. “This is our home. Don’t be talkin’ bad about it. It’ll be fine, Mom.”

 
; “Thank you, Tim. The pastor said the men are going to come over and paper the walls and put down some new linoleum, so that’ll help dress it up a little bit.”

  Alona had the men put her things in the bedroom, and the boys would sleep on cots—two in the living room and one in the kitchen—that they could fold down and put out of the way during the day. When everything was unloaded, Alona thanked the men who had helped and the pastor.

  After the men drove away with the empty truck, Alona looked around at their sparse surroundings. It took all of her strength to say cheerfully, “Well, boys, we’re going to make this place something to be proud of. You just wait and see.”

  ****

  Later that week the sun was low in the west, and Alona was cooking supper. The boys had gone over to the playground, since the house had no yard. When a knock sounded at the door, she opened the door to a scruffy-looking man wearing faded overalls and a pair of heavy brogans. “Yes, what is it?” she asked the man.

  “My name’s Alvin Scruggs. I’m yer neighbor three houses down. Just come by to welcome you an’ see if you need any help.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Scruggs.”

  “Oh, Alvin’s fine. What’s your name?” He wore no shirt under his overalls, and his arms were wiry and covered with thick hair. He was as sorry a specimen of a man as Alona had ever seen.

  “I’m Mrs. Jennings. You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve got something on the stove. It’s going to burn.” She turned and went back to the stove and took the skillet off, and when she did, she heard the door slam. She went back into the living room to make sure he had gone and was dismayed to see that Scruggs had come inside and was grinning at her. “Like I say I just come by to offer my help. A widow woman like you needs a man.”

  Alona did not want to make any enemies, but she had an instant distaste for Scruggs. “Thank you, Mr. Scruggs. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to the kitchen.”