See How She Awakens

by Michelle Graves

  “How?”

  “First, you must heed the Revenants. Listen to their words, observe them.”

  “But they repeat the same things over and over. They just mumble a bunch of cryptic stuff.”

  “Have you asked them?” Aberto always made everything seem far more simple than it truly was. It was really annoying.

  “No, I suppose I haven’t.”

  I thought about the Revenants, and as if my very thoughts conjured them, they came out from the fog. One by one, they circled us, chanting their enigmatic words.

  “The world will burn.”

  “Darkness is on the rise.”

  “The war rages on.”

  “What does any of that mean?” I yelled, fear creeping into my soul. I recognized these charred bodies. They were my friends, my family.

  “Look to the past to find the answers. The truth is trapped.” The Revenant reached out for my hand, fear raced through me as I remembered what had happened to Molly. I didn’t want to be touched by the thing, but something told me if I wanted to understand what was happening, I had to let it happen.

  The touch ignited my skin, causing the blue flames to race over my body.

  “Izzy?” Aberto’s panicked question came rushing at me through the fog just as I lost focus, a vision rushing through my mind.

  I was standing on the streets of Chicago, the vision from long ago played out behind my eyes. Only this time, the man crawling away, struggling to flee the approaching menace, was Conall. The man moving slowly towards him was Ian. But his skin was charred, his orifices leaked blood, and his eyes were clouded by fury and rage. He slowly moved towards Conall, stalking him like prey.

  Fear wafted from Conall as he struggled to reason with Ian.

  “It was not my fault. I did all I could to save your Seer.”

  “She perished because you all failed to protect her. I will be the end of every last one of you.”

  “Ian, don’t do this. Fight it,” Conall pleaded.

  “I am the darkness.” Ian’s reply was cold as he reached his hands toward Conall. Conall’s skin erupted in flames as his eyes started to pour tears of blood.

  Standing over the charred remains of Conall, Ian laughed. His eyes turned towards me, churning my stomach. It was as if he could see me standing there. I looked over to the Revenant that had brought me here, and I knew, undoubtedly, it was the echo of Conall.

  “The Seer.” Ian’s icy laugh ripped through me. How could this have happened? What could’ve driven him to this?

  “You must save us all from ourselves.” Conall’s calm reply settled over me as I was ripped back into the dreaming.

  “Izzy, are you well?” Aberto stood over me. Looking up at him, I realized I was curled into the fetal position. Unsure of how I got there, I slowly rose up to sit.

  “No. I’m not.” The memory of Ian skittered through my mind. If I didn’t save Molly, everyone would fall.

  “Let us leave this place.”

  Aberto pulled us back through to the shack in the middle of nowhere.

  “How can I save her if I can’t even control the darkness inside of me?”

  “Do you believe these two things are connected? That you must first conquer the darkness in order to save her?”

  “What do you mean? I thought you said I needed to learn to control it before I could help anyone?” Confusion raged within me. If it were up to me, I would already be well on my way to helping her.

  “This is uncharted territory. Today’s events have led me to believe I was mistaken. Perhaps the only way for you to fight the darkness within yourself is to fight that which plagues this world.”

  “Did you see what happened? I thought you couldn’t see the Revenants.” I looked at him, searching his eyes. I’d wondered for a while now if he could still read me, perhaps this would answer that question.

  “I searched your mind as you fell. I was witness to everything.” Aberto assessed me before slowly continuing, “It is not an easy thing to access your mind, nor is it something I wish to do unbidden. I have no desire to invade your privacy. Concern for your wellbeing caused me to act, nothing more.”

  “Fair enough.” I moved towards the bed, my legs feeling weak. I wanted to sit, to think about everything for a moment. My arm caught my attention as I sat down. An outline of a hand was burnt into my skin where Conall’s Revenant had held onto me. It wasn’t blackened as had been the case with Molly. Instead, it was a glowing blue outline that pulsed with the reminder that something had to be done, and quickly.

  “What am I supposed to do?” I didn’t know where to start. The world was falling apart around me, and everyone was in danger. There was no clear path to take. At least with the demon, I’d been given a road map. Go to the demon, embrace it, destroy the threat.

  “Look within yourself. What is the answer you find?”

  You can’t trust yourself. You don’t have the answers. Besides, you will never be able to conquer me. You’re too late.

  “I want to talk to Ian. To see Molly.”

  You will hurt them if you go. You aren’t strong enough to fight me.

  “Is it safe?” my voice trembled as I I looked to Aberto, hoping he would know.

  “I will not allow you to harm those you love.” Aberto moved towards the bed, pausing just in front of me. Lifting his hand to my face, his calloused fingers brushed the hair from my eyes. I leaned into the comfort, allowing the rightness of it to wash over me. I wasn’t ready to fall into something with someone else, the memory of Kennan was too fresh, too raw. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to heal enough to move on, but the comfort of someone that loved me was a welcome respite; a balm to my tattered soul.

  “I could hurt you just as easily.” Looking up to his face, I saw a crooked smile settle on his mouth.

  “You could try.” Challenge raged in his eyes. In that instant I knew he was never in any danger of me. He hadn’t been fighting when the darkness had taken hold. He’d allowed everything to happen the way it had so I could recognize the darkness’ influence. The sneaky bastard.

  “I suppose we should get going. I have a future crazed Guardian to talk to.”

  “You will be fine, Izzy. I promise you.”

  Aberto pulled us quickly through space to where the Order was situated deep in the swamp. Warily, I stood outside the door, unsure whether or not the people within would want to see me.

  “Well, it is about damned time you came back.” Sena threw the door open, pulling my arm as she yanked me into the rickety old house. “You look better, less like a swamp witch, more like a completely overwhelmed person that is in over their head.”

  “Nice to see you again, too.” I looked at her. She seemed so unfazed by the thought the darkness could take over my body at any moment. Sena, the fearless. “Could you take me to Ian?”

  “Are you sure you want to go in there? Something is seriously brewing inside that man. He’s been a bit off, if you know what I mean.”

  So it had already begun.

  “I’m sure.”

  Sena led me to the room where Molly lay, blocked from the world and the dreaming.

  “What?” Ian’s voice was short as he barked out the question.

  “I came to talk to you.” I entered the room, looking back over my shoulder to Aberto. He looked to me, as if questioning whether he should come as well. I shook my head slowly. I had to do this on my own.

  “This is your fault.” Ian rose, the anger churning in his eyes. I could see the darkness skittering below the surface of his skin. A ripple, barely visible.

  “No, it isn’t.” For the first time, I knew it was the truth. I wasn’t responsible for what was happening to Molly. Even if I had not been in the void, they still would’ve found her.

  “How can you say that?” Ian stalked toward me, his voice an icy refrain. He stopped, towering above me.

  “Because the darkness is still coming. It echoes within me, the promises I failed. And I did. Somehow it is s
till here. It is living inside of me, and it has taken you.”

  “I am nothing like you,” Ian spat.

  “No, you are far worse. You are letting the darkness eat at your soul.” I’d come to talk calmly with Ian about what his fate would be if we didn’t stop what was happening, but instead I found myself challenging him.

  “Where do you get off, Izzy? You come in here, all high and mighty, talking about how I am fucked up. Well, what about you? How did your soul searching go? Did your little venture of self-discovery help you? Did you find yourself while the rest of us wait for Molly to die? Have you been having fun?

  “No, I haven’t. I left so I could help her.” Anger pulsed in my veins at his words. I knew he wasn’t himself. I just had to keep reminding myself so I wouldn’t slap the moron.

  “You are doing a fantastic job.” Sarcasm dripped from his every word.

  “If you won’t believe what I am saying, I will show you the truth!” I shouted. Ian was being ridiculous. I could see the darkness had already dug its claws into him. Where it had just been a flicker under the surface the last time I’d seen him, it was now a pulsing entity vying for control.

  “You can’t show me anything.” Ian’s face twisted into a snarl as I reached out and grabbed hold of his arm.

  The darkness within me urged me onward, a greedy inkling in the back of my mind. Confused by the eagerness of the darkness, I pressed onward. Regardless of my misgivings, Ian needed to see what would become of him if he let the darkness prevail.

  “Izzy, what are you doing?” Ian’s eyes clouded as I thrust us into the vision I’d witnessed. Pain ripped through me as the events played out slowly, one after another. Ian’s actions echoed, each event more terrifying than the last, all culminating in the death of Conall.

  When the vision ended, pain like none I’d ever experienced pulsed within me. The darkness stretched, growing stronger. Falling to my knees, I heard voices moving around me.

  “No, no, I’m so sorry.” Ian’s voice prattled on in the background, over and over again, professing apologies for acts he had not yet committed.

  “Izzy, stay with me.” Mona’s soothing voice came from close by. “Sena!”

  A hand fell on my shoulder, easing the pain so it was a low throbbing. I opened my eyes to find Sena near tears. She was absorbing my pain, something I wouldn’t ever let happen. I could contain it; whatever it was, she wouldn’t survive.

  “Let go, Sena.” I pleaded. “I will endure.” She fell backward as the pain came ripping back through once more.

  I grow stronger. You will never defeat me now.

  “Izzy.” Aberto’s voice calmed the beast within me. “Do not forget, Izzy. You did this out of love.”

  I thought of all the people I cared for in this room. If I let the darkness expand any further, it would destroy everyone within its reach. I loved them, and I would be damned if I let any harm befall them. Gritting my teeth, I pushed the darkness back. The pain faded to a dull throb I’d become all too familiar with.

  “Izzy, I’m so sorry.” Ian kneeled down next to me, remorse and fear in his eyes.

  “It’s all right,” I whispered.

  “All of those horrible things I said to you, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t know what was wrong with me.” Ian’s eyes filled with tears as memories flickered behind his eyes. The closer I looked, the more I noticed, the darkness was gone. He was himself once more, but where had the darkness gone?

  A dark laugh echoed within me telling me exactly where it had gone. I’d absorbed it, thus the darkness had grown.

  “What happened in here?” Mona asked, rising up to stand.

  “She showed me what was going to become of me. The darkness had rooted itself within me, it was twisting me into someone else. Someone I never want to be.” Ian’s eyes sought out Conall across the room. “I won’t ever let that happen.” His focus turned on me as his eyes locked with mine. His promise made, knowing I was the only one who knew what he would become.

  “Don’t let it back in.” My voice was shaky, foreign in its frailty.

  “Never,” Ian promised. “How did you erase it?”

  His face turned white as realization sunk in.

  “No, Izzy. Put it back. I can fight it now that I know.” Ian rushed me, causing me to almost topple back over. I’d only just sat up.

  “No, you can’t.” I knew it was the truth. None of them could. Something in me was strong enough to contain the darkness, to keep it at bay, in a separate little piece of myself. Like some sort of parasitic organism.

  “I won’t let you take that from me. That was my burden.” Ian grew angry.

  “Don’t let it back in,” I pleaded as the world around me grew black. Exhaustion fell heavy on me as the burden of what I carried settled into my bones. I wanted to sleep. To rest until I was strong enough to purge myself of the darkness completely.

  “What is going on?” Ian’s voice asked from somewhere in the distance.

  “She absorbed the darkness within you into herself.” Aberto’s voice hedged on anger as he scooped my body up. I wondered how I could hear everything but not really be there. I wasn’t in the dreaming, but I wasn’t on that plane either.

  “But why?”

  “Guardian, how can you even ask that?” Aberto didn’t suffer foolishness, and Ian was being unaccountably dense.

  “I want to know why she would do that, take more darkness into herself when she can’t control what is already within her.” Ian’s voice came out shaky.

  “She did it to keep you from becoming what she foresaw. She cares more for the wellbeing of those she loves than she does for herself. As you already know this, what you seek is forgiveness. That is not mine to give. You have been self-serving in your desires, perhaps the darkness found its way in because of that. I care not for the specifics. I care only for her safety. Thus, if you succumb to the darkness once more, I will not allow her to take it from you. Be stronger, deserve what she did for you.”

  “Where are you going? You only just brought her back!” Mona’s voice echoed.

  “She does not yet know how to repress the darkness fully. Much work must be done before she can put an end to the darkness. I brought her because she felt compelled to show Ian, to save him from what he could become. I will not let her linger here where she is at risk of absorbing the rest of the darkness from each of you. Cleanse yourselves. We will return when the time is made known.” Aberto’s voice boomed as he pulled us through the dreaming. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind he was right, but I wanted to stay. To be around the people I loved the most in the world.

  Floating, the world pulsed around me. The only thing audible was my own heartbeat in my ears. Memories suffused me as we traversed the dreaming, I lingered somewhere between consciousness and sleep, never really staying in either. My veins felt as though they were on fire as the darkness expanded within me. I’d done the right thing by helping Ian, I knew I had. If I’d waited, I would’ve been too late.

  The movement stopped. With a deep sigh, Aberto lowered my body onto the bed. I knew the feeling well, we were back in the desert.

  “Gods give me the strength to save her.” Aberto’s plea felt so broken. He’d always been a pillar for strength, and yet fear for my safety had brought him down hard. I wanted to comfort him; to tell him all would be well. If only it weren’t so hard to stay awake.

  Resist me no more. If you submit the pain will end.

  As the words echoed through my mind, excruciating pain ripped through me. Every bit of me ignited from within as the darkness grew stronger. Reveling in its power over me, it pushed harder than it ever had before.

  I was stronger than the darkness. I had a reason to stay, to fight. I couldn’t forget that. The vision of Ian haunted my mind. If I didn’t gain control over the darkness soon, I would be stuck here, unable to help anyone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to absorb the darkness from all that were affected, but I had to find some way to help.

 
; “Izzy?” Aberto moved closer as I struggled to regain control of my soul, of my very being. I would not lose this war.

  “It has grown stronger.” My voice came out a broken decree.

  “Gods give you the strength to fight.” Aberto’s hand brushed the sweat dampened hair from my face. I wanted to curl into the safety of him. Aberto would never let harm come to me, but I knew this was one battle he could not fight for me. I had to do this on my own.

  “I think they have forsaken me.” My eyes felt glued shut as I struggled to open them. The darkness was still pulling me under.

  “You would not still live if the gods had forsaken you. You will fight, and you will win.” His voice wavered at the end. He and I both knew there was no certainty. I’d barely been able to contain it before I’d absorbed more.

  “This has to end. I have to find a way to stop this from overpowering me.” The fire burned within my veins. Every attempt I made to regain consciousness, to take power over myself, was met with resistance.

  “You will.” Aberto’s voice reassured me as he whispered old words in my ear. Words my soul recognized, even if my ears did not. “Rest.”

  Darkness embraced me. The pain was no more and the dreaming was a far off memory. I was nowhere with nothing that could touch me. Time seemed to slip away as I floated. But the peace would not last. Memories began to surface. A parade of images played out before me as though I were watching a movie of my life.

  My mother was a mere arm’s length away. I could reach out and touch her. But this was no memory of my own, this was something entirely different.

  “She is the Seer. Keeping this from her will do her no good,” Mona scolded, appearing just feet from where I floated.

  “I will give her a life that belongs to her for as long as she can have it. No good will come of her knowing her entire life will be filled with loss and misery.” My mother’s face was covered with the stains of her tears. The desperation in her eyes belying her heart breaking within.