See How She Awakens

by Michelle Graves

  Four more Seers came to be marked. One was the young Seer that had spoken in the room earlier. I’d found out her name was Cristie. She’d been born as an outsider, and had only recently been brought into the Order. Like me, she’d had no clue what she was until visions started appearing one day. She’d told me Bruce had shown up a week later and brought her here.

  As she’d told me about her journey, waiting for the rest to be marked, I looked over to find Bruce staring at her. His eyes gleaming with protective ferocity. There was a story there, one I hoped to someday hear. For now, I appreciated her fearlessness. She’d been shoved into the deep end and thrived, whereas I’d struggled to come to terms with everything that went on around me.

  “I’ll have your back, Izzy,” Cristie promised, her eyes filled with a darkness of their own. Whatever she’d been through had hardened her. She wasn’t as frail as her demure frame led on.

  “Thank you.” I looked around the room, feeling an overwhelming sense of love. I wasn’t alone. These people were going to face the darkness by my side. Whether to help me, or for their own reasons, it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to face the Council by myself. I knew they would all be waiting to come to my aid.

  “I know you are all doing this for your own reasons, but know that you being here, knowing I don’t have to go at this alone,” emotions weighed heavy on my chest making it hard to continue, “I can’t ever thank you enough.”

  I took a steadying breath as I took in the ten Seers and Guardians that would stand with me against the Council if I needed them. Eleanor had joined their ranks, her promise to end me if I turned echoed through my mind. I was glad of it, of her.

  “I can’t promise what the outcome will be. I can only tell you there are two ways in which this might play out. I will either fall to the darkness, allowing it to take over and use me to do its bidding, or I will end them once and for all. This will not be pleasant, there is no happy ending. We have no support other than ourselves. What happens there will determine the future of humanity. Do not waiver, do not hesitate. If I fall, end me any way you can.” I leveled Eleanor with my gaze. She nodded once, letting me know she was prepared to do what she must.

  “What do we need to do next? How do we separate our souls to walk in the dreaming?” Cristie’s voice pulled my attention away from my silent discussion with Eleanor.

  “For that, we must practice.” Aberto looked worn, but his strength seemed to be returning now that he’d finished. “Izzy can lead you through what to expect as I prepare a room.”

  “Suckage.” I looked around the room as everyone stared back perplexed. Crap, I’d said that aloud. “What I meant to say is that the practice is taxing.” This is why I would’ve failed as the Council leader. I had absolutely no finesse.

  “What will we be doing?” Eleanor prompted, saving me from myself.

  “You will be learning to separate your soul from your body. The easiest way to do this is to envision you are made up of two parts, the body and the soul. What worked for me was imagining them to be two sides of a jacket with a zipper in between. Just unzip the zipper and they become two instead of one. Find something you’re comfortable with, whatever visualization works for you. Oh, and don’t fight it. It is harder when you fight.”

  Aberto reappeared in the room, motioning for all those that had been marked to follow. I started to leave with the group, but Mona’s hand on my shoulder stopped me.

  “May I have a moment?” Her non-question question reminded me so much of Isadora. One day I would perfect that art.

  “Sure.”

  “I want to apologize.” My confusion must’ve been written all over my face because she laughed before continuing. “I should’ve pressed your mother harder, or been there when she was taken. You should’ve been prepared for this, for what your destiny was meant to be.”

  “Aberto asked me not too long ago if I would’ve really wanted to know what he knew about Kennan dying. Since then, I’ve made peace with a lot of what upset me in the past. I don’t blame my mother for her decision to protect me from this, to keep me in the dark. I wouldn’t have walked the path I did if it had played out any other way.” Now Mona looked confused. “They say ignorance is bliss, and I believe it. Just like with Kennan, if I’d known this was coming, that this was my destiny, I would’ve spent my entire life worrying and trying to prepare for something I’d never truly be ready for. I’m thankful for the years I got to spend living a normal life, for the years I’ve had since finding out I was a Seer. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “Are you ready?” Mona asked, tilting her head to the side.

  A laugh ripped from me as the absurdity of it all came rushing in. “Ready? No, I’m not, but I never will be. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight the darkness yet. Heck, I’m not even sure how I am going to sneak myself into the Council.”

  “I have an idea for that, if you would like to hear it.” Mona lowered herself down to the floor, bending her legs to the side. She patted the ground beside her, waiting for me to follow her lead.

  “Okay,” I said, lowering myself down to the spot she’d been patting.

  “Perhaps you should appear at the Council in need. Say you blame the Order for Kennan’s death. Use it to your advantage. The grief is real, so it is not a lie. They won’t be able to see through to the truth.” Mona’s finger traced shapes on the floor as she went through each step that would lead to me meeting with the Council. Her plan was simple, but brilliant. All I needed to do was find a way in, and the rest would play out, one way or another.

  The marked ten went through grueling hours of practice for days as Mona and I focused our efforts on the plan. Each day the group would leave the room Aberto had arranged for practice looking worn. I remembered all too clearly how hard it was to do what was being asked of them. I’d been born with the ability. I couldn’t begin to imagine how much more difficult it must’ve been for them.

  “They are ready.” Aberto entered the room where Mona and I sat, looking exhausted himself.

  “So it’s time?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow.” Aberto lowered himself to sit beside me. “Are you ready?”

  “No,” I half laughed.

  “If you will excuse me, I have some matters to attend to.” Mona stood, exiting the room. Obviously trying to give Aberto and I time alone.

  “You will survive this as you have survived all trials past.” Aberto’s jaw clenched. I knew he couldn’t be sure what would happen. None of us were.

  “If Eleanor must stop me, do not interfere. Promise.” I knew him. He’d do everything in his power to keep me from harm. If I didn’t make him swear it, all bets were off.

  “I am unable to make that promise. Do not ask that of me.”

  “Then you must do it yourself. End me if the darkness becomes too much.” I clasped his hand in mine before pressing on, “You once accused Kennan of being selfish, of keeping me from my destiny. You would be acting out of the same selfishness if you don’t stop me. I’ve seen what I will become. There is no trace of the person you love left in her. Don’t let that be my legacy, Aberto. If you truly do love me, you will keep me from that fate.” I pleaded with him. I needed to know I wouldn’t be left to ruin, to destroy all I held dear.

  “I swear it.” Aberto’s eyes latched onto mine. His oath was binding, an eternal thing.

  “Thank you.” I pressed my lips to his cheek before standing. I wanted to be alone, to prepare myself for what I would be facing the next day. The Council, in all their crazy glory, awaited me. Destiny was such a bitch.

  “You will endure,” he promised.

  “Aberto, I have a question. Can I be killed now?” I wanted to be sure there was some way to stop me if I fell, but the whole me dying thing was still a bit dicey. With his soul living in me, and him being cursed to walk the earth for an eternity, it was little murky.

  “There are always loopholes in the fabric of our reality.” Once again, he didn’t really an
swer my question. “It will not come to that.”

  I wasn’t quite sure who he was trying to convince more, me or himself. Either way, the next day would hopefully tell us all we needed to know.

  The group assembled the next morning, ready to face the darkness head on. I felt like I was the only one still unsure of the plan.

  “Remember, they will not feel your presence if you remain in the dreaming, on the cusp of reality. You will be able to see them, to hear their words. Do not act until it is evident that action is necessary. Allow Izzy to do what she must.” Aberto addressed the room; his last words echoing in my mind.

  “I may appear to be siding with the Council. Remember, I must gain their trust in order to ascertain what action needs to be taken. Trust me when I say this, you will know if the darkness has taken hold.” I hoped they wouldn’t mistake my actions. Hopefully, they would be able to discern the difference.

  “We will wait until our presence is required,” Ian promised.

  “So be it,” Aberto said, disappearing into the dreaming.

  The Seers and Guardians all lowered themselves to the ground. One by one they seemed to blink from existence, leaving nothing but the shell of their bodies behind. I couldn’t travel with them. The Council would suspect something if I showed up like that.

  Instead, I would make myself look as I had when I’d left the void. As far as the Council members knew, that was where I still remained. I would go to them, angry over the loss of Kennan. Revenge my motivation. Emotions I felt all too strongly.

  Mona had told me to keep as close to the truth as possible. In the days we’d laid out our plan, it had become exceedingly clear that I harbored a lot of resentment and pain towards everyone involved in Kennan’s death. Though I understood what had been done, it didn’t change the all too human emotions that lingered. I wanted there to be justice for his death, for it to mean something. Though I now knew the Council was to blame, a very real part of me still felt the Order could’ve done more to prevent it. That was my motivation. Revenge was my key. I just hoped they bought it.

  “Be well, my niece.” Mona embraced me tightly, her hot tears wet against my skin.

  “Thank you. For all you’ve done for me. I love you.” I pulled away, holding her at arm’s length. “I need to go.”

  With a nod she stepped back, and I faded into the dreaming. I had to focus, when I reappeared I couldn’t show up like I’d been when I left the Order. I had to mask the mark on my forehead, to show up as I’d been when I’d reappeared on this plane months before. The image that had stared back from the mirror came rushing forth. It was time to channel my inner swamp witch.

  The dreaming rushed around me as I made my way to the Council headquarters. Fear welled up inside of me as the reality of what I was about to attempt settled upon my shoulders.

  You will never convince them. You are a terrible liar. I will overtake you.

  “No. You won’t.” I muttered to the darkness. I stood on the precipice of something bigger than myself. The moment I left the dreaming, the fate of the world would be determined.

  Pausing to prepare myself, I conjured up every ounce of anger and betrayal I felt. Every moment from the past few years where I felt blind to the truth came rushing forward. The lies, the deceptions, the loss—I let it all wash over me. It consumed me, awakening the darkness inside. This was a precarious balancing act. My emotions had to be visceral, but I couldn’t let them overtake me and allow the darkness to reign.

  With a deep breath, I plunged out of the dreaming to stand in front of the old manor, the white pillars extending ever upward. The place that had once been my home now felt altogether different. The air was stagnant, the stench of burnt flesh held heavy in the air. Where once there had been birdsong, there was now silence. Death breathed its frosty breath on the accursed ground. There was nothing left of the Council I’d once known. Here, I would find desolation, and I would have to welcome it. Embrace it.

  Leaden feet led me to the door. There was no other way. Molly had shown me all I’d needed to see. One way or another, the end was coming. My hand clasped the door, opening it on a loud creak. The sound echoing throughout the silent house.

  Moving deeper into the house, I paused as I passed a mirror. I wanted to be sure I’d concealed the mark on my face. My haunted eyes stared back from the reflection, the darkness swirling within the depths of the blue. I’d woken it up, and now it anxiously waited. I could feel it expanding within me, preparing itself excitedly for what was to come.

  I stepped away from the mirror and pushed myself further down the hall. The pungent smell of death stopped me in my tracks as I passed a room. Countless piles of ash lay around the intricate circle I’d seen in my vision. Dried blood stained the floor where innumerable Seers had given their lives in the pursuit of the Council’s supposed justice. No more. No one else would die for them, for this.

  “You are not welcome here, Abomination,” Brutus’s voice shouted from behind me. Seriously, the man needed to get a hearing aid or something.

  “I come seeking the truth.” Not a lie. I wanted to hear it from them. Not in some vision, but in person.

  “There is nothing for you here,” he sneered.

  I let the darkness seep out, letting it take hold momentarily. I could do this.

  “There is vengeance here. Would you deny me that?” The darkness pulsed in my veins. I could only imagine how I looked to Brutus, but something in his demeanor changed.

  “Who are you shouting at?” Damali nagged as she stepped out of Isadora’s old office, pausing in her tracks as her eyes landed on me, calculating. “Why have you come here?”

  “At every turn, I’ve been betrayed by those that supposedly loved me. I’ve given everything to maintain the supposed balance, yet here I remain. So I say, fuck the balance. I want every person that has ever misled me—betrayed me—to feel the pain I feel. I want them all to burn.” The darkness grew stronger with each word.

  You will lose to me, Izzy. Don’t fight it, let me in.

  The darkness was stronger than it had ever been. The months of training had done nothing to prepare me for this. When I’d let the floodgates open and poured out every repressed emotion, I’d released something much worse. The vision of what I might become played out in my mind. I couldn’t let the darkness prevail. I had to remain in control.

  Thoughts of the Seers and Guardians waiting in the dreaming buoyed my courage as I was led into the Council leader’s office. Brutus and Damali both eyed me warily, unsure of what to make of my sudden reappearance. They didn’t trust me. Which meant I would have to let the darkness take hold even more. If I did, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to fight my way back.

  Francesca lounged on a couch, doing that stupid toe thing of hers, tracing circles on the ground, while Eric stood by the fire staring into the flames. My entry drew both of their attentions. It was time to put on a show.

  “Why have you returned?” Francesca’s confused look reminded me of a child. “Did we have an appointment?”

  So she’d finally gone off the deep end completely. I knew it was inevitable.

  “I’ve returned for one reason, and one alone. I’ve seen what you are capable of. I saw it the day I absorbed the darkness,” I pressed on, hoping I could convince them of my sincerity.

  “What do you mean?” Damali, the obvious brains behind this venture, asked.

  “You are the orchestrators of all that is coming. The darkness will rise, it is inevitable.”

  “What is your interest in this matter?” Eric’s fingers thrummed against the mantel.

  “I want them to pay.” The truth, I did want someone to pay for all I’d lost.

  “So you too wish humanity to pay for their sins, their disgrace?” Francesca asked.

  Laughter pealed from me, fueled by the darkness.

  “The Order will pay.” I let the darkness take hold a little more. I had to convince them. This was the only way.

  “That is no
t our agenda.” Damali turned to walk towards her desk. “The darkness will purge the world, bring justice.”

  I laughed again, the chilling sound stalling Damali’s steps. “I am the darkness.”

  The moment the words left my lips, I felt myself slipping. The darkness was taking hold. Panic began to well inside of me as visions of the Revenants rushed forth, their warnings playing over and over in my mind. I wasn’t strong enough. The darkness would consume me; I was powerless to stop it. Laughter rolled through my mind as the darkness snapped itself into place, pushing me to the side.

  I warned you. You never should’ve fought this. It was inevitable.

  In that moment I knew, the whole time I thought I had taken control of the darkness within me was a lie. The darkness had played me. Every step I’d taken, every move I’d made, had led me straight to where the darkness had wanted me to be all along. The world would burn, and I would be the catalyst.

  “What do you mean?” Brutus, the dense moron, shouted.

  “This body can be used to fulfill your plan,” the darkness replied. “Where other Seers have failed, this one will not. Her soul is strong; it will withstand the change.”

  They would sacrifice me, change me into one of those creatures. I would be trapped inside, unable to stop myself from acting. Panic surged forth, allowing me to gain some ground against the darkness. I had to fight. Maybe I’d been led into this trap, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do something about it. The cost of my failure was too high. It wasn’t a price I was willing to pay.

  Don’t fight me, you will not win, the darkness echoed.

  Calming myself, I sought the place where I ended and the darkness began.

  One word played over and over again in my mind. Love.

  Love couldn’t save me. I remembered love; I still felt love, yet the darkness still remained in control. Love wasn’t enough. Not the memory of it, not the reality of those I loved waiting to come through, none of it mattered. Sonneillon’s grasp was too strong. Love was not enough.