The Fallen Woman (A Regency Romance)

by K. L. O'Keefe

  Leona studied herself in front of the looking glass. She crushed her dress against her body, trying to see if there was an increase in her stomach. How long had it been since she was with Lord Wintergreen? Two months? It was too soon to see any change in her appearance. Fortunately, most of her dresses had very high waistlines, which would conceal her for some time. If she didn’t see a change, no one else would. .

  Leona sneered at her reflection. She couldn’t stand to look at herself, because it reminded her of wasted opportunities. When her mother was alive, she said her daughter’s pretty face would bring her good fortune. Her mother might have been right, had Leona not wasted herself on a tryst with a man who cared nothing for her.

  She thought about writing to Lord Wintergreen, but what good would it do her? He didn’t exactly seem like an honorable man. What could she possibly say in a letter? Lord Wintergreen, I am carrying your child? Please help! It shamed her to think she didn’t even know his given name. He was practically a stranger!

  As much as she wanted to blame Lord Wintergreen for her unfortunate circumstances, she couldn’t let it all fall on him alone. The seed was sown by her own hand as much as his.

  Leona continued to stare at the looking glass as her eyes filled with tears. “What is wrong with you??” she screamed at herself. “How could you do that!? Why?!” She turned away from the mirror, sickened by the sight of her own face. She fell onto her bed and buried her head in a pillow. “Why…?”

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Miss Lennox?” a tiny voice called to her from the other side of the door. “Miss Lennox, are you alright?”

  In an attempt to stop her nose from leaking, Leona snorted. “I’m fine, Mary,” she answered her maid.

  “Are you sure, Miss Lennox? I heard you shouting just a moment ago, and now you sound like you might be crying.”

  “I assure you, there is nothing out of the ordinary!” Leona insisted.

  “Alright, Miss. If you say so…”

  When she thought she heard the maid’s footsteps retreating, Leona sat up in bed with a gasp. “Oh! Mary?”

  The footsteps halted. “Yes, Miss?”

  “Do you know where my father is? I… I would like to speak with him.”

  “I believe he’s in the drawing room, reading the London Post,” Mary answered. “Will you be going down to see him?”

  “Yes. If you don’t mind, will you tell him I’ll be coming down shortly?”

  “Of course.”

  Mary’s footsteps receded, and Leona spun toward the mirror. Good God, she looked awful! Her eyes were redder than they had ever been, and her nose was dripping uncontrollably. She needed to compose herself. She couldn’t face him with crimson eyes, could she? No matter how pitiful she looked, it wouldn’t help her cause.

  Leona spent enough time poring over her options. There was nothing she could do to fix her situation. Her only choice was to tell her father everything and try to appeal to his merciful nature.

  “Merciful nature? My father?” she said aloud. “Well, that’s certainly being optimistic…”

  Leona could feel her shoulders stiffen as she left her room. She felt like she was marching toward a hanging. Her own hanging. She would be lucky if her father didn’t hang her after everything was said and done.

  She paused outside the parlor. “Oh dear…” Leona whimpered to herself. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.” She was about to blacken her reputation and spoil her father’s image of her. What could possibly be more difficult?

  “Leona, is that you?” she heard her father’s voice behind the door. “Mary told me you were coming. Why are you hovering around outside the door like some timid little thing? Come in.”

  Trying to hide the pained expression on her face, Leona stepped inside. “You have very good ears, father.”

  “Of course I do! I’m not that old, you know. Not yet.” Mr. Lennox folded the London Post and slammed it against the table. “Now, might you have something to say to me, dear? We hardly speak to each other these days, but I hope to remedy that. You’re my favorite person in the world, don’t you know? I had the honor of speaking to Lady Tutterington the other day, and she told me you had more beaux than any girl she’d ever known. Not that I’m surprised, with you being as beautiful as you are. Only… I wish you’d choose someone. It isn’t as though I’m eager for you to leave the nest, but men will only wait for so long, you know? You’re two and twenty, and you’re not getting any younger. I’m sure there are lots of pretty young things waiting to replace you. I hate to sound cruel, but someone has to speak in your mother’s stead. And what are mothers good for, if not to nag their daughters?”

  Leona let her father finish his tirade. The longer he talked, the longer she could postpone her news. “I’m sure you’re right, father,” she answered with a sigh.

  “So, is there someone? A special someone?” her father pressed. “I hope he’s not some pompous peacock. When you choose a husband, I would hope to have something in common with him. I don’t think I’d have anything in common with some young dandy. And you mustn’t choose someone too handsome. Handsome men love themselves more than they love anyone. You can’t have that, can you? You need a husband who will love you best in all the world.”

  “Father, I…” Leona’s words were caught in her throat. Her eyes were burning with unshed tears. “There’s something I must tell you.”

  “Well… go on, dear,” Mr. Lennox urged his daughter. “I hope it’s good, whatever it is.”

  “I’m afraid you won’t think it’s very good.” Leona paused. How in the world was she supposed to tell him? How could she stop her lips from trembling? Finally, she took a deep breath and said, “I’m… in the family way.”

  “What?” Mr. Lennox raised an eyebrow. “You’re in a family’s way? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m breeding.”

  Mr. Lennox looked perplexed.

  Leona couldn’t take it anymore. She felt tortured by his failure to grasp what she was saying. “I’m with child!”

  Her father’s jaw tightened. His fists clenched on the table. His eyebrows drew together at the bridge of his nose, and he didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked irate. “You’re what?”

  Leona laid her palm against her stomach, as if to illustrate what she was saying. “I’m with child, Father.”

  “I heard you the first time!” he hollered at her. His voice was so thunderous, he nearly shook the walls. “Are you serious? Is this some sort of joke?”

  “I wish it was.” Tears started spilling from her eyes as she spoke. “I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t…”

  “I was so happy a moment ago, but you had to go and spoil it with… with something like this? My own daughter!” He banged a fist against the table. “How is this possible? You’re a good daughter, not some lightskirt! You can’t be telling me this! This can’t be true!” He lifted his fist and shook it at her. “I don’t want to see tears. You disgust me.”

  Leona’s head sunk between her shoulders.

  “How did this happen?” he bellowed. “How could you let this happen?”

  She tried to sniffle as softly as possible. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

  “Give me the name of the man who did this to you! I demand to know! I’ll make him do the honorable thing. He is a gentleman, isn’t he? Well, I suppose a true gentleman wouldn’t have taken it upon himself to soil my only daughter.”

  Her father’s words stung her. They were even harsher than she imagined. “The man who did this to me… is engaged to someone else.”

  “Then he can disengage himself. If he doesn’t, I’ll kill him with my own hands.”

  A soft knock on the door gave Leona a temporary reprieve from her father’s fury. “Is everything alright?”

  It was Mary again.

  “Go away, Mary!” Mr. Lennox hollered at the maid. “Leave us! This is none of your concern!”

  “Right, sir. Good day.”


  Leona’s reprieve was over.

  “Tell me the name of the man who did this to you! I must know!” He raked his hands through his thinning hair. “You’ll tell me, won’t you?”

  Leona shook her head. “I can’t.”

  “What do you mean you can’t, you stupid girl? We’re talking about your future! You’re carrying some man’s bastard, and I need to know who’s to blame. What could you possibly gain by protecting this man?”

  “I’m not… protecting him,” Leona said, gasping between words. She was finding it hard to draw a breath. “I just don’t want to shame myself any further.”

  “Good God, is it really so bad?” Mr. Lennox sat back in his chair, and the lines on his forehead eased. “You’ve already shamed yourself enough. You’ve shamed us all. Do you even know what this means? If your mother was around, she would be so ashamed. You shame your mother’s memory.”

  Leona held her breath for several seconds, trying to choke back a sob. When she composed herself enough, she asked, “Do you hate me, Father?”

  Her voice was soft and quivering, but he heard her well enough. “I don’t hate you, but you can’t expect me to like you. Not after what you’ve done,” he uttered coldly. “And you can’t expect me to like that child in your belly. You’ve ruined yourself, Leona. You were such a good girl, but you’ve gone and ruined yourself? You were such a clever girl… I still can’t believe what I’m hearing. I don’t know why your mother and I couldn’t have been blessed with a son. I don’t think I have the patience for a daughter.”

  “I’m sorry, Father.” Leona’s head was hanging as she spoke. “Everything you say is true. I’ve brought shame on the family. But I have no one else to turn to but you. I… submit to whatever punishment you might have for me.”

  “Of course you’ll submit to whatever punishment I might have for you! What other choice do you have?” Mr. Lennox laughed, but it wasn’t a friendly laugh. There was malevolence in his tone. Very slowly, he rose from his chair and made his way across the room. As he approached Leona, he snarled, “Get up, daughter.”

  Leona stole a quick glimpse of her father’s face. To say he looked furious was an understatement. “What?”

  “I said… get up,” he repeated. When Leona remained in her chair, he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to her feet. “Get up, get up, get up!”

  His fingers dug so deeply into her skin, Leona thought she would be black and blue with bruises. “Father! You’re hurting me!”

  Despite her protests, he didn’t loosen his grip. Instead, he proceeded to pull her into the hallway. “If you would obey me, it wouldn’t have to be like this.”

  “Father!” The tears were back in her eyes. “Please! Do you have to be so hard on me? You don’t have to be so cruel! I’ve admitted my mistake, and I have no one else to turn to. I… I…”

  “You won’t tell me the name of the man who ruined you, and now you must stay in your room until you come to your senses!” Mr. Lennox threw open the door to his daughter’s bedchamber and shoved her inside. “If you insist on staying silent on the matter, I’ll be the one to decide your fate.”

  Leona, having nearly lost her balance when he pushed her, stumbled into her room. Sobbing, she retreated to the end of her bed and sat. She knew her father would be angry, but she hadn’t expected him to turn violent. There were red marks on her arm, and they were pulsing with pain. She had never seen this side of her father before. “Father…”

  As he stepped away from the door, Mr. Lennox glowered at her. “Don’t speak to me. I don’t want to hear any more from you, girl. …With child… hmph.”

  When Mr. Lennox slammed the door, Leona rolled onto her bed, grabbed her pillow, and burrowed her face into it. Her heart felt as though it was being ripped from her chest. She had never known such sorrow. Such hopelessness.

  When her tears stopped, she whispered to herself, “I wish I could just die!”

  Chapter Five

  Lord Randall didn’t want to die. In fact, he would have done anything to hear the doctor say he was grossly mistaken about his life expectancy. Unfortunately, there was nothing Tristan could do to halt death’s approach, or even slow it down. He had already accepted the fact that he was dying, and decided to make the most of his remaining days. He wanted to make a mark on the world before he left it.

  As it was, there was no one in the world who would mourn his passing. His parents were deceased long ago, and he had no siblings to speak of. His title and property would be inherited by a distant family member of little note. For the first time in his life, Lord Randall realized how little he had been loved, and it was a very sad and sobering realization.

  Even if he’d never been loved, there were three people who would be affected by his death. Four, if he counted Andrew.

  He needed to tell them, so he gathered them all in the drawing room and seated himself on a velvet settee. As he looked around at their concerned faces, he felt a bit relieved. At least there was someone in the world who might miss him.

  “So…” Tristan was sitting across from his small but loyal staff, which consisted of a maid, a valet, and a butler. He wasn’t the sort of person who needed several caretakers, so he always employed a small staff. His three servants were, as it happened, the closest thing he had to a family. “You see, I…I, um… oh, damn.” As soon as he realized his language turned foul in the presence of a woman, he turned to his maid and said, “Sorry, Nell.”

  “Not a problem, sir,” she answered cheerfully.

  Tristan took a deep breath. How was he supposed to announce his own death? He had no idea. “I… well… you see…” Was it best to say it bluntly, or to put it lightly? There was nothing light about death, was there? “I’m dying.”

  His young valet stopped biting his fingernails and gasped. “Dying, my lord?!”

  “Yes, John. I’m dying,” Tristan repeated.

  Nell started weeping as soon as she heard the news. It didn’t surprise anyone, because she had always been a sensitive little thing. Tristan produced a handkerchief from the pocket of his greatcoat and handed it to her.

  “Is zis true, my lord?” asked Dubois, the butler, peering down his long nose.

  “I’m afraid I wouldn’t jest about something like this, Dubois.”

  “Is zis why you have not gone from your room in several days?”

  Tristan shrugged. “I suppose.”

  “And zis is the reason for zee doctor’s visits, no?” Dubois asked.

  The valet’s eyes swiveled to the butler. “What? A doctor? What doctor?”

  “Zee doctor who has been visiting heez lordsheep,” Dubois explained. “You do not know about it, because we kept it a secret until now. I was not told the reason for heez visits, but now I know.” The butler’s head fell between his shoulders. “I am so sorry, my lord.”

  Nell sobbed.

  “Are you sure about this?” asked the valet. “I mean… no disrespect, my lord, but doctors have been wrong before, haven’t they? Maybe he’s made some sort of mistake? You seem like a picture of health to me!”

  “I appreciate your sentiments, all of you,” Tristan answered. “And… while I appreciate your optimism, I know I am far from being a picture of health. My time is limited. I know this for a fact.”

  John grumbled.

  Nell whimpered.

  Dubois’ magnanimous nose responded with a sniffle.

  “If you want to leave your posts, I completely understand. When I die, I can’t guarantee my cousin will keep you on. I’m afraid I don’t know anything about my cousin. He might be understanding… I suppose,” Tristan continued, “However, I will say I would like you all to stay with me for the remainder of my days. To be surrounded by familiar faces would give me comfort. If you left, I know I would die a very lonesome death.”

  Nell snorted into Tristan’s handkerchief, and he decided he would have to let her keep it. Forever.

  “My lord, I would never think of leaving you!” D
ubois exclaimed, laying a hand over his heart. “Your father pulled me off the streets when I was hopeless, and I have been with you since you were a tiny l’enfant! I am your servant ‘til zee end, monsieur!”

  Tristan imagined there might be many people shocked by how openly his servants spoke to him, but he didn’t care. He appreciated the frankness of Dubois’ feelings. “What about you, John?”

  “Ehh.” John hitched a shoulder. “I don’t suppose I’d be able to find work elsewhere. I might as well stay with you, my lord.”

  Nell peered at him behind the handkerchief. In a shaky voice, the maid answered, “We can’t leave you by yourself, my lord! We’re your servants, but we’re good people! We’d have to be horrible to leave you at a time like this! I’ll stay with you as long as you need us!” She sniffled. “You’ve always been so good to us, my lord! I wish this was all just a dream!”

  “I, too, wish the same thing,” Tristan said with a sigh. He sat across from Nell and gave her a pat on the hand. It might have been an inappropriate gesture, if not for the fact that she was nearly sixty, and more like a dear aunt than a maid. “I feel it’s important to tell you about my plans. I don’t intend to sit around here waiting for my death to come. I’m leaving London,” Tristan said, “and I’m returning to the family estate in Berkshire. It’s been too long since I’ve been back to Randall Hall. I’m sure it’s in a shocking state of disrepair, but we’ll manage somehow.”

  “I’ll clean it for you!” Nell vowed. “I’ll return it to its former glory, even if I have to do it single-handed-like!”

  John’s ruddy lips twisted with concern. “Wait? Leavin’ London? You never said nothin’ about that! What about me fiancé? I can’t leave her behind!”

  The butler raised his chin and shot the valet a look of disapproval. “Do not speak to his lordship like that! He iz zee best man in zee world, and you’ll speak to him with respect, or I’ll take you outside and tan your hide!”