Jaded 2: Broken Love Series

by Renee Tyler

  “Later, I’m going to finish what we started the other night.” He cups my chin and presses his lips into mine. He doesn’t linger; when I open my eyes, he’s disappearing down the stairs.

  I don’t understand how Troy discovering his brother is having a baby by a girl that he prefers for him not to have a baby with has placed him in a sour mood. There has to be more to this story. I ponder on what it can be as I go to the drawer and view the contents. Troy has actually purchased me several bikinis. I decide on a teal one with a ruffled top and matching bottom, with yellow strings that tie on the sides. The price tag on this scrap of material is ridiculous. I put my hair in two French braids to avoid the mess it can turn into if I submerge my hair in water without proper care.

  I make my way down the back stairs to avoid walking through all of his family in my bikini, even though I have on a robe. When I walk into the pool area, Charity and Marcus are no longer in the hot tub. They’re childishly playing Marco Polo. I had to shake my head. I don’t even want to know who started or suggested that their grown asses go around the pool yelling.

  I search for Troy and notice him swimming. His muscular back flexes as his strong arms slice through the water, pulling his long lean body. I don’t realize I’m standing with my mouth open until Marcus splashes me and droplets of water hit my mouth.

  “I forgot that this pool is heated, so I couldn’t cool your hot ass off,” he laughs as he backstrokes away from the side of the pool where I’m standing. I pull off my robe and drop down into the water next to Charity.

  “Marcus is so irritating I’m going to kick his ass,” I say, slanting my eyes in Marcus’ direction. Charity bursts into laughter.

  “Girl, doesn’t he notice everything?”

  Before I’m able to answer Charity, I yelp because I feel someone grab my legs. I thought it was Marcus until the leg grabber fondles my lady parts.

  “Troy,” I whine. He breaks through the water and picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his narrow waist. He walks us to the other side of the pool.

  “I missed you,” he says, referencing us barely being able to spend time with each other with all his family around. He slowly twirls us in the water. I secure my arms around his neck.

  “I missed you too.” He leans in and gently kisses me, then delivers several playful pecks. Finally, he parts my lips with his tongue. He wades in the water until he reaches the other side of the pool and holds me against the wall, and continues his toe-curling assault on my mouth. He slowly pulls away.

  “I better stop before we really give your friends a show.” I nod.

  “Yeah. Gram and Kim are spending the night too, so maybe I should go home tonight.” He scoffed.

  “Like hell you’re going home.” Gripping my ass tighter, he stared at me for a moment, daring me to challenge him; then some type of realization crossed his face. “Plus, we have to get up early so we can leave”. Oh yeah. I forgot he’s taking me out of town for my birthday. I don’t even know where we’re going but I can’t wait. I don’t know why Troy appears so apprehensive about it. “You ready to go away with me for your birthday?” A giant smile spreads across my face. I’d never traveled before I came here. Now I have someone that wants to take me out of town.

  “What’s the mode of transportation?” I ask. He smiles. He asks me to go out of town; however, he hasn’t revealed to me how we’re going travel.

  “You trying to figure out where we’re going?” he says, smiling at me.

  “No. I just want to know how far away. Besides, I need to know what to pack,” I say, staring into his chocolate eyes that are watching me thoughtfully.

  “Well it’s a plane ride away, and don’t worry about packing. I don’t want to give away the surprise.” An even larger smile spread across my face, and I attack his mouth. He moans into my mouth, making me forget we aren’t alone. He suddenly pulls away from me. “L’oriel. I’m hanging on by a thin thread as it is. Your sweet mouth on mine and hot pussy on my stomach is gonna get you in trouble in this pool.” I don’t think I’ve ever blushed so hard in my life. When I look around, I see Marcus and Charity laughing into their hands and exiting the pool. I guess we are putting on a show.

  A couple of kids running into the pool area ends our alone time, so once Troy controls the tent in his trunks, we exit the pool. After we dress, Troy sees Mila and Jason in the corner cuddling. He’s back to his somber self. A few family members still linger around the house. Charity and Marcus left about twenty minutes ago with plenty of food. I’ve fallen in love with Grum’s ham. I haven’t had ham like that since I was really small. My grandmother had succumbed to purchasing her ham from one of those ham stores. Troy’s grandmother made it old school, cured in brown sugar with the pineapples, cherries, and cloves for decoration. I leave Troy in his office working to creep back downstairs, hoping there’s still some ham left. I do a little dance when I find a whole ham unsliced with all the pretty decorations. My mouth begins to water as I thinly slice and plate three slices. I place the ham back in the refrigerator and look for a couple of sides to go with it. I find some potato salad and homemade rolls. Figuring this is more than enough at this late hour, I pop the ham in the microwave.

  “You avoiding me too.” I look up to see Jason entering the kitchen. My eyes go everywhere except him. I’m still uncomfortable about seeing him intimately.

  “No. I’m not avoiding you,” I say, unable to look him in the eye.

  “I wanted to apologize about, you know…you seeing me.” He clears his throat. “Like that.” Suddenly, I need to clear my throat as well.

  “I um. It’s um. Yeah, it’s okay.” I pull my ham from the microwave and place some potato salad and a roll on my plate. I grab a disposable fork and take a seat at the breakfast bar. Jason moves around the kitchen preparing to fix himself a plate as well. My eyes are cast on my plate. I don’t have any experience with seeing penises. I only saw Shane’s, then Troy’s. I’m still uncomfortable with sexuality, so I’m more than thankful Jason isn’t making jokes. I’m barely handling this uncomfortable encounter, as is. If he decides to make vulgar jokes, I’ll probably pass out. Jason takes a seat next to me.

  “Troy’s really pissed at me. Which I expected. He has such high expectations for me and Derrick.” I swallow my piece of my ham and fight the urge to close my eyes. I’m in no way disregarding what Jason just said but man, this ham is everything. However, I’m happy that Jason wants to have a normal conversation. I can handle normal. I just nod, not really knowing what to say. Troy hasn’t really told me why he’s so upset with Jason, other than he believes Mila purposely got pregnant, and Jason seemingly fell for the trap.

  “It’s a lot of pressure living up to his expectations.” He pauses for a long moment. “Mila didn’t trap me. I knew what I was doing. When Troy told me she wanted a baby, I wanted to be the one that gave it to her. I love her regardless of the things she does. I know Troy knows it too. That’s why he’s so mad. He doesn’t understand why I’d choose to be with her. Be a father and I haven’t finished school. The truth is, I don’t think I want to finish school.” I almost choke on my food. I know what he and Derrick’s education means to Troy. He always talks about how hard he had to work to get his degree while working on building a business. He wanted his brothers to realize their dreams and work towards them. He always said he worked hard so they wouldn’t have to struggle the way he had. If Troy even thought that Jason was talking about quitting school, he’d probably choke him out. He was that passionate about his brothers’ future.

  “Jason. You can’t be serious. What would you do? What do you want to do?” He quits picking at the turkey on his plate and looks up at me.

  “I want to run the club. I know Troy doesn’t think I’m serious. I’ve been around enough to know that I don’t need a degree to run the club. I did a good job when Jody went on vacation.” I put my fork in my plate and slid it to the side.

  “Why not get the degree to go with the title, Jason? Huh?
There’s things you learn in school that you just can’t get on the job.” Jason sucks his teeth.

  “Man. L’oriel. I don’t need to go to college to be successful. Some of America’s wealthiest people didn’t have college degrees, or were college dropouts. You just need vision.”

  “Jason. It’s more than the education. It’s the connections. It’s broadening your horizons. Teaching you to see things from different points of view. Yes, many of America’s rich don’t possess a college degree. Don’t think for a second they didn’t know enough to still learn and perfect their craft. Besides, you don’t get an education for wealth. You get an education because no one can take that from you. Riches can come and go. However, an education can introduce you to things you never knew. It’s not just about learning, it’s an experience. Whether you know it or not, you’re always learning in and out of the classroom. So why not get the foundation and build upon that? A solid foundation can take you further. Besides, Troy is getting on you all the time for not fully focusing on learning the business, so if you say that’s what you want, why aren’t you at least taking that serious? You have Jody to fall back on now, but just imagine if the club was yours. Can you honestly say you could run that club without Jody? She always puts many things in place to make it easy for you. Or what about Troy coming in to have your back?” I pause as a thought occurs to me, then I turn towards Jason.

  “What are you afraid of? Why are you giving up on school?” It suddenly dawns on me why Jason is running from reaching his full potential. The fear of success is real, especially when you’re afraid to live in someone’s shadow. Sometimes it’s easier to say you just don’t want it than to actually step out there and attempt what’s different, to realize your own goals and work to achieve them. I can definitely relate to that. I stayed in an unhealthy marriage. I was afraid of what I could or couldn’t accomplish on my own. It was easier to stay and blame Shane than it was to walk away and be responsible for my own success.

  Jason bowed his head. “You know who my brother is. He’s a perfectionist, a musical genius, and has accomplished so much. He has Grammys, he has an Oscar for the song he wrote for the romantic comedy he also produced. He isn’t even 40 yet. Not only is he successful. He’s maintained success and relevancy. People compare him to Babyface and LA Reid. My little brother’s a super nerd. Who am I?” he states without giving me eye contact. I grab his hand to make him look up.

  “Whoever you want to be. Don’t measure who you are by Troy and Derrick. Own whoever it is that Jason wants to be, and be the best at that. However, you can’t figure it out if you don’t try.”

  “I’m afraid to fail,” he says with his eyes laced with insecurity and fear. I can hear the strain in his voice, and know that he’s fighting back tears.

  “You won’t. Even what’s perceived as a failure isn’t if you keep trying. Then it was a learning experience. I have no doubt you will be great at whatever you put your mind to. You’re going to be a great father too.”

  His eyes instantly change and fill with love and adoration as he smiles. “I hope so. I love her already.” I smile at him and hop down off the stool.

  “You’re gonna be alright, Jason.” He stands and grabs me, and pulls me into a tight hug.

  “Thank you for listening. Everybody just tells me what to do, they never let me talk,” he says to the top of my head.

  “Anytime,” I say as I pop the little piece of ham that’s left on my plate in my mouth. I toss my plate and begin to head up the stairs when I ran into Troy’s hard chest.

  “I came in the room thinking you were in there sleep or waiting to cuddle with me. What you doing down here?” he says, staring down on me. He places his hands on my head and tilts my head to meet his eyes.

  “Eating some more of that ham.” He shakes his head at me.

  “Little girl, I think you ate a whole ham at dinner. I would have thought you would have had enough.” My mouth drops; he’s been in such a sour mood. I didn’t think he noticed how much ham I’d eaten at dinner.

  “What, you the ham police? Or you don’t like pork?” I raise my eyebrow.

  “Hell naw. Apparently the pig doesn’t stand a chance around either of us. I eat him from the rooter to the tooter,” he says as he laughs and grab my hand, leading me to his bedroom. “Come on. I’m ready to spoon.”

  Once we are finally tucked in the bed, I turn and put my head on his chest. I begin to draw circles and figure eights in his splattering of thin, fine chest hair. I really want to go a little lower, but I know there are people everywhere. Besides, Troy is still really distracted. I can feel how tense his body is under mine.

  “What’s wrong?” I say, looking up into his chocolate eyes. He exhales, kisses the top of my head, and pulls me closer to him.

  “I’m just worried about Jason.” I start to draw figure eights on his chest again.

  “Why? Don’t you trust Jason to know what’s good for him?” He pauses, and I can tell he’s battling with whether or not he should reveal more to me. How is it that his little brother felt comfortable consulting with me and Troy doesn’t? He takes another deep breath.

  “I’ve been knowing Mila for a while,” he began. I was so surprised; he started talking, and I sat up so I could look at him. “She’s older than Jay. My age. She was the party girl. At every party, every event, just always on the scene. She was hungry to get into the business by any means necessary.” I raise an eyebrow. Is he about to tell me he slept with his brother’s girl?

  “Quit looking at me like that, little girl. I didn’t have sex with Mila, but my partner did…Reggie did. He used her thirst to his advantage. She was a beautiful, lost girl that didn’t have anyone. Reggie preyed on that.” He cleared his throat. “Our uncle did too. He had sex with her as well.” Aw man that’s bad. I know my eyes became large circles. I wonder how Jason got with her. He paused for a moment.

  “Man, when Reggie and I were younger, we did all types of wild shit. My uncle indulged in our success. He didn’t stay much of a role model to me at that point of my life. Most times, Mila was right there with us. We were young and rich. Didn’t know what to do with our money yet.” He paused, then shifted. “Well, Reggie started really partying. Since Mila was with him, she started doing what he did.” He cleared his throat again, seemingly uncomfortable with this conversation. “So Reggie smoked weed, Mila smoked weed. Reggie started popping pills, Mila started popping pills. Reggie started using coke, Mila started using coke. Reggie eventually got clean about a year or so ago. Mila continued on the pills and the coke. When that happened, Reggie quit messing with her. She stayed the party girl, got into other things too, and still is as far as I know. I hadn’t seen her around in a minute, but last I heard she was still heavy into coke.”

  “How’d she and Jason end up together?” I ask. He takes another deep breath and spreads his nose. “When I started letting him learn about the club. When he turned 21 at the beginning of last year. They haven’t been together too long. When he first started talking about this girl named Mila, I thought naw, can’t be the same Mila. Until I came by the club one night, and there she was in his lap.”

  He closes his eyes. “I told Jason to stay away from her. I told him what she was into. Told him about her being with Reggie, our uncle, and other people. I even told him about what she told her girl about wanting a baby, by any means necessary. He just had to test the waters. He swears she’s been clean since she found out she’s pregnant. Swears she’s a different person. Jason thinks he’s about that life, but he’s spoiled and sheltered. He doesn’t like the smart girls that go to school with him. No, he’s always up in the clubs chasing girls like Mila–beautiful liars.”

  So that’s where his aversion to Mila came from. He thinks she’s a bad influence on his little brother. I can understand his point of view. Lord knows he has every right to worry. This woman is way too advanced for Jason. Then she’d had a sexual relationship with his ex-best friend as well as his and Jason’s blood
uncle. I’m sure that fact alone could be a tough pill to swallow.

  However, I was with Shane and I was never interested in using cocaine. I’d smoked weed with him a couple of times, but I never wanted to experiment with other drugs. I do understand Jason is exposed to a different environment than me. Troy’s involved in the entertainment industry. I’m sure drugs ran rampant in his circle as well as Jason’s; the circle of blacks in entertainment is small. I’m sure a lot of people have dated and slept with the same people. Nevertheless, he needs to trust his brother because if he wants to take drugs, he’ll do with or without Mila.

  “Troy, you have to let Jason make his own decisions. It seems he’s already making them anyway. He’s still with Mila, despite your protest. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to leave her alone, so you have to trust him and let him do the right thing in regards to his daughter and her mother.”

  Troy dragged his hand down his face. “I know but L’oriel, that’s my little brother. I feed him, cloth him, I changed his diapers. I don’t know how to step back. I always looked out for him. It’s all I know.”

  I forget Jason is more like Troy’s son than little brother. This is like a father watching his son being swept away in the siren call of a beautiful woman. I don’t know much about men, but I can imagine the allure of a beautiful evil woman can cause havoc. When I look at him, he’s still staring off into space, wrapped up in his own thoughts again. I raise up on my knees and straddle his waist.

  “Everything’s going to work out, Troy. I believe you’ve given Jason enough wisdom. You have to trust what you’ve given him. So he can trust himself. He may surprise you if you ease up on him a little.” I bend down and place what I think is a chaste kiss his lips. However, Troy catches me by the back of my head and holds me there for a more intense kiss. I’m unable to finish my thoughts because my hormones have taken over.

  I try not to move around, but I feel his erection stirring. However, I’ve been so horny lately that it’s taking all my strength not to.