I jumped into a glide, then kipped up and pushed back for an easy hip circle. Back again to glide under and basket kip up, this time to sitting on the low bar. My body felt tight, strangely tired already, but at the same time I was cheering inside. The feel of these moves was so comforting and familiar, like walking up the front steps to home. Next I swung under and kipped up to rest my hips on the high bar. Time to try a flyaway. I pushed back, swung under and back.
Chest thudding, I let go.
For a heart-beat, I was flying . . .
Then I gripped the low bar, safe and secure, and swung under with a rush of relief. Up, around, swinging and flying. Here I am again.
Soon I was pushing into a handstand on the high bar and swooping down and around and around.
I did an easy dismount and landed a bit wonky, but I presented with arms up as if I’d been competing. Sheesh, did that feel good.
‘Nailed it, Jade!’ called Pip from the other bars, as if I’d had my toes pointed and my legs had been straight and the dismount had been half decent.
When I glanced at Monique, she still didn’t have her grips on. She nodded at me. ‘You did it,’ she said and smiled.
I smiled back. ‘Think I might do it again.’
By the end of the session I was high and happy, as if I’d just blitzed a competition.
Samantha cooked dinner that night, which totally freaked Mum out. No recipe, no trip to the shops . . . she just made it up as she went along.
When she served up, Mum just stared at the plates. The food smelt amazing, but sort of looked the way it had been cooked, all mixed up and out of control. One half of the plate was a chickpea curry, the other half was couscous with sultanas and other strange surprises.
Samantha even poured herself a glass of wine and winked at me as she sat down. But Mum was too busy staring at her food to worry what Sam was up to.
It was funny watching Mum take a nervous nibble and even better to see the way her eyes grew wider and hungrier with each mouthful.
When we had finished eating, no one moved from the table. Mum and Samantha were leaning forward, talking about slow cooking. I just sat and listened, with no plans to move in a hurry. Then someone knocked on the front door.
We all looked at the clock.
‘I’ll go,’ I said, because Mum and Samantha seemed to have more cooking talk to get through.
I walked down the hall and pulled open the door.
Evening sun hit my face and made me blink. Someone big was silhouetted in the doorway.
‘Hi . . . ah sorry . . . I just . . .’
The silhouette was speaking in a familiar voice. I blinked twice, starting to focus. Then my mouth dropped open.
‘I got your address from the white pages site. Hope that’s okay?’ said Levi.
I shut my mouth. Levi is standing in front of me!
‘Look . . . I’m sorry to just turn up, it’s just . . . you disappeared yesterday.’
I stepped back, still not thinking clearly but eventually manners took over. ‘Come in . . .’ I mumbled. Mum and Samantha were still engrossed in conversation. My room was a mess . . .
‘Are you up for a walk?’ asked Levi.
I felt a rush of relief. ‘Yes! I’ll just tell Mum, okay? Stay there.’ I held out two hands as if trying to stop the silhouette from disappearing.
Now my blood was pumping. I dashed into the dining room.
Samantha had her legs crossed on a chair. She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. ‘It’s the swimming guy, isn’t it?’
I nodded. ‘We’re going for a walk.’
Mum was frowning and for a moment I thought she wasn’t going to let me go, but then she pulled out a comb and started tidying up my ponytail.
‘Aw, Mum!’ I pulled away and made a shush face at Sam before she could say anything else. It wasn’t going to be that kind of walk. I left them giggling like two school girls.
Levi was waiting beside the front gate. As I slipped out, he nodded once, then started walking up the path like a man on a mission – head tilted forward and hands clenched into fists. I had to skip every few steps just to keep up.
‘You swam a great race, Levi. It must feel so good,’ I said.
He nodded, still looking at the path ahead. ‘Yeah, feels like I’ve conquered the world.’
I looked at him, aware that he was repeating something I’d said yesterday. As usual, I couldn’t read him. ‘So, are you going to keep swimming now? You’ve proven you’ve got what it takes.’
Levi was still charging along. ‘Not in the school squad,’ he said, eyes straight ahead. ‘But I’ll keep up the lap swimming. I want to get as fit as I can for footy next year.’
I did a little skip to pick up my pace. ‘Oh . . . well, good on you.’
He paused to glance at me mid-step, then kept walking faster than ever.
For a while I stayed quiet and concentrated on keeping up. It felt good just being outside. The sun was low and warm on my face, a promise of long summer days to come.
‘Where are we going?’ I asked.
Abruptly, Levi stopped and turned to face me. ‘I don’t know. Where do you want to go?’
This was getting weird. I shook my head, still confused by the visit and the faster-than-lightning walking speed. ‘There’s a back path to the rocks near here,’ I tried.
For the first time that evening, we actually let ourselves look at each other properly. Levi’s eyes were clear, determined, as they considered me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to smile or hide.
‘Okay,’ he said evenly. ‘I haven’t been to the rocks for ages.’
I smiled. ‘Me neither. Come on, this way.’
At least now the pace was more normal. We started walking down a sandy path, a bush strip between the houses. For a while we were quiet, walking in single file as the path went round a tree. Then we moved side-by-side when the path widened. Levi still had his hands in fists, but at least he wasn’t in race-mode anymore.
After a while he cleared his throat, took a breath, then cleared his throat again.
‘So . . .’ Levi said gruffly. He was walking stiff with purpose. ‘There’s something I’ve got to say.’
I waited, but he stayed quiet. He was breathing hard with each step.
‘Okay . . .’ I said slowly.
Levi cleared his throat, eyes on the sandy path. ‘I have to say . . . the way I acted, I shouldn’t have done that . . . After we raced, I mean.’
‘Really?’
Levi wasn’t even looking at me. ‘I didn’t like losing . . . but it was bad form to behave like that.’ His voice was even and honest.
I wanted to grab his hand. It’s okay, Levi. But I pulled back and swallowed. I had no right to touch him like that now.
Levi had his eyes fixed on the path. ‘The race . . . it was really bad timing for me. I’ve had such a crap year.’ He looked at me and his face relaxed. ‘I’m not used to losing, you know . . .’
I smiled. ‘It’s okay, Levi . . . it’s my fault really. I was just so swept up in the idea. I didn’t think how far I had taken it all.’ I sighed. ‘If I could change—’
‘Hey,’ Levi spoke over me and stopped walking with a jolt. ‘Don’t you dare start saying you’re sorry you won. You beat me that day, okay?’
We were standing face to face in the shade of a twisted ti-tree. I lifted my chin and stood my ground. ‘I’m not sorry for winning.’ It felt good to say it. ‘I’m sorry . . .’ I swallowed. ‘I’m sorry for thinking that winning meant more . . . . than you and me.’
Levi squinted slightly and turned to keep walking, but slower and with relaxed arms.
For a while we were quiet, walking in rhythm.
‘You have no idea how hard I slogged before we raced.’ Levi’s face had changed. He shook his head as though still mystified by it all. ‘You really got me that day, I swear!’
And there it was, the look I had wanted so badly – his eyebrows kinked with curiosity and respect.
I grinned and broke into a run. ‘Come on!’
We made it to the sand dunes and I started down the slope, with Levi sliding behind. I was puffing and happy, trying to inhale as much as I could of the salt smell. We reached the flat and kept going, jumping rock pools and splashing through wet sand until we reached the rocks.
Then we began to climb – stepping from boulder to boulder, snaking around or using our hands to clamber along like crabs. When we came to a steep drop between two boulders I stopped and considered jumping. I knew I could make it, but if I happened to slip, the fall on hard rock would be painful.
‘Here.’ Levi walked a few steps to a narrow part of the drop-off. He stepped across, straddling the gap. I didn’t want to think what would happen if he slipped. ‘Here,’ he said again, and held out his hand.
I hesitated. It was like a scene from those old-fashioned movies, where the gentleman offers a hand to help his lady into the carriage . . .
Then again, how many ladies in long skirts do you see jumping steep rock gorges?
I laughed and stepped towards Levi, feeling his hand close around mine then move with me as I jumped and landed easily. I turned and made sure Levi made it safely. Then I headed off, hungry to explore. I’d never been to this part of the rocks; they were smoother and steeper here – tempting me with their mix of danger and beauty.
At one point, Levi slipped as he tried to clamber up the side of a steep rock, so I held out a hand. After that we climbed in tandem, using each other as an anchor – climbing higher together than we ever could have on our own.
The sun was low by the time we made it to the top of the highest boulder. The oranges and reds in the rocks were so rich that I could almost taste them. Beneath us, the bay was churning whites and blue-greens. I took a deep breath and let it wash through me. The smells and sights and sounds were so familiar, and yet different every time I came to the beach. Always changing, always waiting.
It made me want to keep believing.
Levi stood beside me, hands on hips and chest pushed out, strong and solid against the wind.
‘Makes you feel pretty small, eh?’ he said.
I nodded, looking from Levi back to the churning ocean. I didn’t want to miss a moment.
‘So, do you think we could start again?’ Levi called. ‘You and me, Jade?’
My laughter was carried off with the wind. ‘I’d love to, Levi!’
The next thing I knew, he was square in front of me, shrinking the whole world to become completely, utterly us. His arms were strong and sure around me. I fitted myself against the length of his body.
The wind couldn’t reach into our tight world. As our lips touched, all that had happened seemed to rush through us and hold us together. Slowly his arms softened and melted like chocolate around me. His lips tasted faintly of salt.
After a while, we pulled apart and Levi turned to face the sunset. Then we stood and watched the ocean roll and rumble before us, side-by-side and shoulder to shoulder.
ABOUT THALIA
Thalia grew up on a carrot farm on the outskirts of Melbourne. After a stint as a dancer, she edited websites and travel guides. But her biggest passion has always been writing. Thalia has published multiple books in the Go Girl! series, as well as the non-fiction children’s book It’s True! Sleep Makes You Smarter (which is true, in case you’re wondering). Step Up and Dance, her first book in the Girlfriend Fiction series, was published in 2008. She lives in north-eastern Victoria with her husband, their two children and a black cat named Bindi.
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