Déjà Vu

by Suzetta Perkins

  “Margo, it wasn’t what you think.”

  “Don’t interrupt me!” Margo screamed. “You told me you didn’t love her…that you didn’t want anything to do with her. Made me believe that I was all you wanted. The moment that wench moved onto your radar, you went sniffing and running like a basset hound; you couldn’t resist. You make me sick!”

  “So why didn’t you come in and find out what was going on?”

  Margo raised her hand and swung it at Jefferson. He grabbed her arm and held it in mid-air. He looked like a trainer giving his student an exercise tip. “You, you…”

  “You aren’t a good detective,” Jefferson said, his eyes trained on Margo as he let her arm go. “It’s apparent you didn’t stay long enough to see Angelica’s brother, Edward, come to the hotel as well. Now what do you think happened?”

  “Don’t try to play reverse psychology on me, brother. Tell the truth for once,” Margo hissed. “You were in the hotel with her.”

  “You’re doing all the accusing. Sounds to me like you’ve gathered all the facts and come to some kind of conclusion that I’m sure is incorrect.”

  “Don’t get smart with me, Jefferson. I’m not playing with you.”

  “Angelica asked me to review some documents and account information Hamilton had given her for safekeeping. Edward had put them away while Angelica was in prison, and it turns out that Angelica will realize a small fortune. Hamilton had inherited all of his mother’s assets after she died some years ago, and although he and Angelica were divorced, Hamilton trusted Angelica with his finances. He didn’t have a great relationship with the other members of his family. When he was in the hospital before they carted him off to prison, he had Angelica go and retrieve the papers from his house.

  “Nothing happened between me and Angelica. She, Edward, and I reviewed the documents and I advised them on what to do. I may not be able to practice, but I still know my money.”

  Margo bit her lip and tugged at her dress. She sighed heavily, ingesting what Jefferson had said. She began to sway unconsciously from side to side, tapping each foot on cue. There was no way to know whether Jefferson spoke the truth, but she wanted to believe him.

  This bit of news stripped the venom from her heart. She had wanted to be angry because it justified what she had done, running straight away to Malik and crying crocodile tears on his shoulders. Now she felt like a fool because she used what she thought was Jefferson’s deceit to fall into the arms of another man and give up her goodies—her hidden treasure—without a second thought. Maybe she was in love with two men, she admitted to herself—and just gave her puddin’ away. Damn that Jefferson.

  “Since you have nothing to say, I’m going to help Angelica finish the funeral arrangements. You can come if you like. It seems it was a good thing Angelica came to town because Hamilton’s family members weren’t interested in him—only his assets.

  “Now, sit down. I have something to tell you,” Jefferson continued.

  Margo began to hyperventilate. After all of Jefferson’s relating what had gone on with him and Angelica, there was a strong possibility he was going to tell her he had had enough and was leaving. This wasn’t the moment she had visualized. Jefferson had taken her anger and turned it into something else. That pissed Margo off, but this was not the moment that made her realize Jefferson was her heart. Maybe she wanted to make him suffer like she had suffered. Malik was there—a convenience at the moment—but she could never love him the way she loved Jefferson. Margo knew she had not been the wife Jefferson had hoped to come home to, but from this moment on, she was going to do everything to right the wrong.

  “What’s going on?” she finally asked.

  “Remember when I told you that I believe Santiago may have had something to do with Hamilton’s death?”

  “Did you find out who killed Hamilton?”

  “No, but to fill you in on Angelica’s whereabouts, she was in New York. And guess who she was living with?”

  “Santiago?”

  “Not by choice. I’ll fill you in on the whole sordid mess later, but I’m sure and she’s sure that he’ll be looking for her.”

  “That’s why you need to separate yourself from her, Jefferson. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  A frown formed on Jefferson’s face. “You don’t mean it, Margo. I know you’re in love with Malik. I feel it every time I’m around you…when I see you. It’s that look of disgust you give me. Oh, it hurts, and maybe I don’t deserve you, but I’m not going to be the one to leave. I meant what I said about loving you for the rest of my life.”

  Margo bent her head down and then back up. She was unsuccessful in trying to keep the tears from falling. She went to Jefferson and placed her hands on his shoulders.

  “While you may not want to believe what I’m going to say, it’s true. I’ve never stopped loving you. I’ve been a little mixed up. I’m convinced that seeing you again made all the pain that I thought was gone reappear. But at this very moment, I can stand here and tell you that, even with all we’ve been through, you’re the man I love, and I want to be with you forever.”

  Jefferson grabbed his wife and held her tight. Tears fled from Jefferson’s eyes as he continued to squeeze Margo. He pulled back, looked at her and whispered, “I love you.” Finally, he kissed her passionately and she responded in kind.

  A moment turned into minutes until Jefferson picked Margo up from the floor.

  “Let me make love to you,” he said.

  Margo hesitated but knew she couldn’t back away now. She felt the eyes of God looking down at her shame. It wasn’t even an hour ago that she was getting out of one man’s bed, and now she contemplated getting into another, even if it was her husband’s. The marquee from Heaven was blaring bright: Sister Margo is a bona fide Ho! She hadn’t given herself to a man in the last five years, yet now, in all of two hours, her credibility and sterling reputation were called into question. Her page in God’s Book of Life was marked with a blemish. But she loved her husband.

  “I want all of you,” she replied.

  Jefferson kissed her as he brought her to their bedroom. Lust may have followed them, but there was nothing but love in the room. Jefferson helped Margo remove her dress. Margo helped Jefferson unbutton his shirt. When they were completely naked, they held each other, massaging each other’s souls and letting forgiveness roll away, allowing love to take complete residence in their bodies.

  They took their time and kissed, turning the heat up a notch as the minutes rolled by. Discovery was a beautiful thing because they both rediscovered the sensual side of what their lives had been and what kept them together all those years. Thirty years was a long time, but their romance was as hot as it ever was.

  They took their time, exploring and learning each other’s bodies again—inch by inch. Margo’s groans were music to Jefferson’s ears, and the love and gentleness Jefferson gave to Margo as he took his time with her all but confirmed that Jefferson really did love her.

  Passion took them to another level. Although Jefferson took his time, he was like a drunken fool, tasting, cuddling, sucking and kissing every inch of Margo’s body, unable to get enough. Likewise, Margo became the woman Jefferson once knew—the one who knew how to tend and fan the flames of his desires and return the love in ways that would make a man beg the Lord for divine intervention because he couldn’t take much more of what the sister had put on him.

  Guilt riddled Margo’s body when she finally lay next to Jefferson, spent from a long-awaited reunion. She wondered if Jefferson had felt as she did at that moment—the moment after he had made love to another woman. Making love to Jefferson was as good as it ever was and hadn’t been hampered by his being in prison the last five years.

  Gathering up courage, Margo looked at Jefferson. “I need to share something with you.”

  “Shhhh,” Jefferson said, holding his second finger to his lips. “Let’s not spoil the moment. Whatever it is, I forgive you.” />
  Her courage evaporated as quickly as she had gathered it. For now, she’d let sleeping dogs lie, but somehow secrets always had a way of coming to the light and manifesting themselves. Margo closed her eyes. “Welcome home.”

  45

  Angelica pulled the sheer curtains back as she surveyed the hotel parking lot. An hour or two had passed since Jefferson left, leaving her in an upbeat mood. Although Edward had her money tied up in assets that she was unable to get her hands on, Hamilton’s death had left her better off than she had expected.

  She turned toward the desk where her brother sat making sure that everything was in order. Legal minds thought that way, and Angelica was glad to have Edward in her corner. There was going to be a fight on her hands, though, when Hamilton’s other surviving relatives received the news that they weren’t going to get a damn thing. There were a couple of aunts and a host of cousins to contend with, and Angelica was sure they weren’t aware of the majority of Hamilton’s assets, which was why he passed them on to her for safekeeping. Hamilton’s mother’s sisters were well aware that she left him practically everything, and they would certainly be standing in the wings with their crusty hands out.

  “Jefferson looked good,” Angelica said.

  “Aged a little bit and I noticed the limp in his walk,” Edward retorted. “I hope you’re not thinking of playing with fire again, especially since you’re at a good place in your life to move on and get away from the hell that has been your past.”

  “No, Edward, I was really thinking about Margo and how gracious she was to me when I first got out of prison. She probably won’t speak to me since I ran out on her generosity. It’s plain to see that Jefferson is still and always will be in love with her. I’m ashamed of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life. But I’m scared, Edward.”

  Angelica put her arms around Edward’s neck and laid her head on his. “I’m afraid of Santiago. I’m afraid that he’s going to try and kill me. I haven’t told you this, but I haven’t slept a wink since I’ve left New York.”

  Edward pulled Angelica’s arms from around his neck and made her sit down on the edge of the bed. “Sis, I love you. I’m not here to judge you on your past mistakes, but I’m going to help you move on to a new life with new aspirations. The Fayetteville police are informed about Santiago, and hopefully it will be only a matter of time before he is caught. Stop looking back and embrace the future. We need to get to the funeral home to finalize everything.”

  “Thanks, sweetie. You’ve been a jewel. When all of this is over, I’d like to see Michael. I know he hates me, but I have to let him know that his sister is trying to start a brand-new life, even though I’ve had a painful start.”

  “He’ll come around soon, Sis. Give him some time.”

  “I am going back to New York when this is over,” Angelica said, changing the subject.

  “Oh, the guy you met. Angelica, you can’t let a man rule your head. What about your brand-new start?”

  “This is not ‘some guy’, Edward. He is caring and loving. If I were to be with someone for the rest of my life, it would be with Ari.”

  “How do you know? Weren’t you living with Santiago?”

  “Donna, Ari, Santiago…I’ve lived with everybody, Edward. I bounced around like I was a carefree balloon with no home to call my own. Wherever I landed at a particular moment, I accepted it and went on with the program, giving little or no thought to tomorrow. My life has so many layers, and most of it, I’m sure, has been because of one bad decision after another.” Angelica looked up at her brother. “I’m going to get it straight one day.”

  They both jumped when Angelica’s cell phone began to ring. Her fingers were shaking as she tried to retrieve it from her bag. She glanced at the number and smiled, hurriedly opening it up to retrieve the call.

  “Hey, Ari,” Angelica said softly as if she was in a library full of people. “How are you doing?”

  “Much better than yesterday. I wanted to hear your voice…to know that you’re all right.”

  “My brother Edward is with me. He makes me feel safe. We’re getting ready to go to the funeral home to finalize the arrangements for Hamilton.” Angelica sighed. “All of this makes me numb, and I hate that you have to be in the middle of it.”

  “I was lying here thinking about how un-dramatic my life was before I met you. Guess what?”

  “What, Ari?”

  “You added a little spice to my life. Not that I didn’t have fun hobnobbing with Donna’s bourgeois friends. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that the New York Times had a little article about Donna. It said they have a lead in her murder investigation, but they were not releasing any details yet.”

  “My God,” Angelica said thoughtfully. “That’s good. I hope they catch the killer soon. Anything about Santiago?”

  “No, but I recognized him as being at Donna’s apartment on the night that she was killed.”

  “Are you sure, Ari? When did you realize it?”

  “The day he and his goons kidnapped me from in front of the apartments, one of the guys threw me in the back seat with your Santiago. Mean son-of-a-gun. I got a good look at his face when he was questioning me about your whereabouts, and it clicked.”

  “You’ve got to tell the police, Ari. They need to know as soon as possible.”

  “They know; I’m their lead in the case. If I didn’t tell you, an undercover cop has been monitoring my room in the event Santiago should decide to show up. I doubt that he will because he was obsessed with finding you. He probably thinks I’m dead, especially since I haven’t returned to the house.”

  “I’m glad you’re doing better. Be sure to let me know if you hear anything, and I’ll let you know if anything transpires on this end. I love you,” Angelica whispered.

  “Why are you whispering? You don’t want big brother to know that you might have a thing for me?”

  Angelica laughed. “I told him that I might return to New York when this is all over—and not because I left my things. I’m sure Santiago has thrown them out in the trash.”

  “Well, I hope you do. I’ll talk to you later.” And the line was dead.

  Angelica flipped the phone down and turned to look into Edward’s inquiring eyes.

  “You’ve got it bad, huh?” Edward asked.

  “He’s the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. But Edward, he said he recognized Santiago as being at Donna’s house the night she was murdered, and he has told the police.”

  “I only hope the cops are out there doing their job.”

  “My nerves are shot,” Angelica said, throwing her hands in the air. “I need a drink, if I’m going to get through Hamilton’s funeral and have to deal with a murderous lunatic who’s walking around free when he should have been locked up a long time ago. I can’t believe the feds were never able to find him.”

  “We don’t know where Santiago has been. I’m surprised that he showed his face to you.”

  “Vengeance. I believe it has always been a part of his plan to get rid of me, Jefferson, and Hamilton when he thought no one was looking or no one cared.” Angelica slumped in the nearest chair and sighed.

  Rescuing her from her thoughts, Edward sat next to her on the arm of the chair, took her hand and rubbed it. “It’s going to be over soon. You can bet your bottom dollar on that.”

  Angelica smiled at Edward. “I hope you’re right. Now let’s go so we can get this over with. I don’t want to be around Hamilton’s folks longer than I have to.”

  “I’m with you, Little Sis.”

  46

  The steady stream of hot water temporarily soothed the guilt that consumed Margo. Her mind raced to her fling with Malik, hoping the suds from the body wash would erase her infidelity. She convinced herself that running to Malik’s doorstep was done in the heat of the moment—a sincere need to have the ears of a friend help her understand why Jefferson had a need to see Angelica. Instead, she found herself succumbing to the source that had
plagued many of her dreams—a fantasy come true. And while she had enjoyed all of Malik’s attention, her mind was on Jefferson.

  Stretching her neck upward, the water ran down and eased the tension there. A smile passed over her face as she thought of Jefferson. Everything was right with their lovemaking, and Margo wished she could erase the few hours beforehand that now made her feel dirty and guilty. Many of her friends said she was an idiot for taking him back, but she loved some Jefferson Myles. He was her man, and she was going to love him until the day she died.

  Shame was driving her crazy. How was she going to tell Malik that it was over before it started? Tears welled up in her eyes. She had to put an end to this and soon. After today, she knew that Malik would be relentless in his pursuit of her, and the last thing she needed was for Jefferson to find out that she was no better than him.

  “Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?” she sobbed.

  Just then, the door to the bathroom flew open. “Are you all right, Margo?” Jefferson asked. “I thought I heard you crying.”

  “Were you listening at the door?”

  “No, but you were loud enough to be heard throughout the whole house. That’s why I came in.”

  “It’s okay, baby. I was crying tears of joy.”

  Glad that she was on the other side of the frosted glass of the shower door, Margo wiped her eyes with her hands. The last thing she wanted was for Jefferson to know what had been running through her head and that she was feeling guilty over having sex with his best friend. She turned the shower off, but didn’t come out. Before she could offer up another explanation, Jefferson opened the door to the shower, walked in with his clothes on and kissed her.

  Wet from head to toe, Margo kissed him back, glad to be in his embrace. She wanted to believe that everything was back on track, that their life together was on the mend, and they would not be touched again by the ugly forces on the outside. They embraced until Jefferson left, overcome by the steam.