Déjà Vu

by Suzetta Perkins

  “I can’t breathe,” Margo said and began to laugh at herself. “Girl, you about squeezed the life out of me.”

  “Margo, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Sit up and look at me. Angelica, I’m not perfect.” Margo looked away and then back at Angelica. “I’ve done some things in my life I’m not so proud of, but I know that God forgives me. Now, if God, whom I can’t see, can forgive me, why can’t I forgive you, who I can see?”

  “Profound, even though I know it came straight from the Bible. I remember my grandmother quoting a scripture close to that when she would always talk about faith and forgiveness.”

  “I love you, too, Angelica.” She said it. That wasn’t hard, Margo thought. But she really meant it.

  “Not to change the subject, but what happened with you and Malik tonight?”

  “Let’s change the subject.”

  “Malik fell in love with you, didn’t he? Don’t give me that strange look, Margo. The chemistry was there. You all had the chemicals burning out of the Bunsen burner.”

  “Malik was there for me during the time Jefferson was in prison. He was like a brother to me—checking on his big sister. I realized it was much more than that right before Jefferson came home.

  “I did everything to avoid him, Angelica, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And soon, I found myself thinking about him.” Margo looked straight into Angelica’s eyes. “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this, but I think I was feeling more for him than I cared to admit. But it wasn’t until a couple of days ago when I saw you and Jefferson going into this very hotel that I did lose it.”

  “What do you mean, lose it? Wait a minute, back up—when you saw Jefferson and me? You mean the other day when Jefferson was going over Hamilton’s papers? Edward was there, too. Didn’t you see him? Honey, Jefferson and I were conducting business.

  “Margo, I’m ready to settle down again, but I want a real and honest relationship with a man who loves me, who’s single, and would like to be with me until the sunset of our lives. That’s Ari, my friend in New York. He’s a beautiful person. And it doesn’t hurt that he can work a girl over, if you know what I mean.”

  “You haven’t changed, Angelica.”

  “I have, Margo. Long gone is the woman who used a man to get what she wanted. If I have to be all by myself, so be it, as long as life is kind to me and I can smile when I wake up, thanking the Lord for all of His goodness. It’s kind of like the pursuit of happiness.”

  “Boy, what a new-sounding Angelica. I like it, and I pray that God grants you your dreams. Everyone deserves some happiness in their lives.”

  “I’m glad we’ve had this moment to reflect, Margo. I’ve missed you so much. When I was in prison, I thought about you all the time, hoping you would come to see me…that you would truly forgive me.”

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t come,” Margo whispered.

  “Not to worry, girl. I didn’t deserve your love, and now I’m better for it. So, finish telling me about Malik. That man is still fine.”

  “He told me you tried to push up on him and you exposed your breasts.”

  “What? Not me! How could Malik say such vicious things about me?” Angelica chided. “But girl, you should have seen his face. Now, any other man would have jumped at the bit to squeeze my melons. Don’t fool yourself, my fine brother was tempted, but he pushed the urge to get a free sample to the back of his mind because he had a Jones for someone named Margo.”

  They laughed.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Margo, he was so nasty to me. He was mad that you recommended that I volunteer with him. He was so nasty that the pretty melted off his face. I’ll say the brother is fine, but he wasn’t going to treat me, Angelica Barnes, like that. I didn’t need him, even if I didn’t have two nickels to rub together at that moment—arrogant S.O.B. But it’s all right because I got me a real man.”

  “Is he as fine as Malik?”

  “Baby, he’s finer. Now, you and the handsome Malik didn’t get busy, did you? Did you…? Oh my God, you did.”

  “What are you going on about, Angelica? No one said I did anything with Malik.”

  “But, my sister Margo, you didn’t say you didn’t. O-M-G. Now I get it. You thought Jefferson was with me so you ran over to the fine brother’s house and gave him some. Shut up!!”

  “Angelica, control yourself. Look, I can’t let on to Jefferson that this happened. It’s getting the best of me because Malik believes that I want to be with him.”

  “Did you give him any reason to believe that?”

  “Well, no…maybe. But I told him tonight that I love my husband and that we are going to be together for life.”

  “Do you really believe that or are you psyching yourself into believing it?”

  “I love my husband, Angelica. I love him with all my heart, soul, and…you know.”

  Angelica let out a guttural laugh. “You should have seen your eyes. I believe you. But you know what you’ve done; you’ve messed Malik up. He’s not going to give up easily, even going as far as telling Jefferson what he had done to make Jefferson angry.”

  “I’ve got to do something to make it right. I do love Jefferson, and I’m going to make it all up to him.”

  “Do your breasts seem full? Have you felt your womb preparing itself?”

  “Preparing itself for what?”

  “A tax deduction? Like waaaaaaaaa, waaaaaaaaaa.”

  “Truthfully, I’m scared, Angelica. I can’t believe I allowed this to happen The thought of having a baby at my age frightens me to death.”

  “Well, you know it only takes one time and one sperm. I sure hope it was good. So were you going to make your husband wear protection?”

  “Now, you’re talking like the crazy Angelica who used to be my friend. What I do or don’t do with Jefferson is off limits to you.” The reality, however, was that Margo hadn’t thought about it at all, and that wasn’t like her.

  Angelica smiled. “I’m your friend, Margo. I’m only pointing out the reality of what you’ve done to spite Jefferson who loves only his wife and wouldn’t have come to the meeting if Edward hadn’t insisted. I know I’ve made my bed many times, but Margo, you’re much better than me.”

  Margo let Angelica’s words sink in. She was going to have to find a way to tell Jefferson what she had done. Their marriage was on the brink of disaster, but she wanted it to be healthy again. She would have to find a way.

  “You know, Margo, I miss Hamilton, in a funny kind of way. When he wasn’t doing his dirt, he was the most loving and kind husband. In fact, he was much more handsome than Malik—that’s what happened to his womanizing self. Thought he was fine…”

  “He knew he was fine, Angelica. You couldn’t tell that man he didn’t look good. Shucks, I had to give him a couple of quick glances myself.” They laughed.

  “Wow, those were the days. I can’t believe I buried him today, Margo.” The tears began to stream down Angelica’s face. “I loved him, and he still loved me. We just couldn’t live in the same house. I can’t believe he’s gone. Oh God, help me. Why did You take my husband from me?”

  A box of Kleenex sat on the table. Margo pulled a handful out of the dispenser and dabbed Angelica’s tears. “It’s all right to mourn for Hamilton. He was your husband.”

  “Excuse me, but I’ve got to make a phone call.”

  Angelica stood up, retrieved her purse from the nightstand, and reached in it and took out her cell phone. She retrieved a number and dialed, and in an instant her face lit up. “Hey, Ari, this is Angelica. Santiago is dead, the police killed him. When I’m finished here, I’m coming back to New York. I hope you’ll be waiting for me…I love you, too.”

  56

  Quiet peace lay in the room. Sporadic snoring invaded the silence but did not disturb the peacefulness around it. Then a short grunt and a shifting of the covers dared to spoil the tranquility. And in
the next instant, Jefferson pushed off the covers, sat up, rubbed his eyes, and then eaned over and looked at the clock on the nightstand. He sighed and reached over and patted the other lump in the bed.

  “Baby, we better get up if we’re going to church.”

  “Can we stay in this morning?” said the muffled voice.

  “Don’t you think we need to let the Lord know how grateful we are for delivering us from the hands of the enemy? Margo, I feel freer than I’ve ever felt.”

  “When did you become so holier than thou? And why are you talking so loud?”

  “So, are you trying to be a bedside Baptist this morning? Rise and shine. This doesn’t sound like you.”

  Margo sat up. “Baby, I don’t think the Lord would be upset with us if we praised Him from our hotel room. I would have to go home and get something to wear, and I can’t go there right now. The memories are too fresh in my head.”

  “The memories are fresh for me too, but to know that it’s all over is a blessing.”

  “How do we know that there aren’t more people in this organization waiting out there somewhere to hurt us? Can you be sure that it’s all over, Jefferson…that no one else will come after us?”

  Jefferson looked at Margo and pondered the question. “No, we don’t know, Margo, but my spirit tells me different.”

  “I like the way you’re thinking.”

  “I’m going to turn my life completely around. You’ll see. I need to go to Atlanta and see Mom and Dad, and I want you to go with me. While we’re there, maybe we can catch up with your brother, the good pastor.”

  “He’d love to see you.”

  “Let’s do it. So, what’s the real reason you don’t want to go to church today?”

  Margo’s eyes widened. “What do you mean, the real reason? Do I have to play back all we’ve been through the past couple of days or the last twenty-four hours, to be more specific?”

  “Okay, sweetie. I wasn’t trying to excite you. The thought had occurred to me that you might be trying to avoid Malik. I haven’t forgotten the little scene you both caused last night. Forget I said anything; I’m going to turn on the television.”

  Margo lay back down and turned away from Jefferson. He watched her, sure she was keeping something from him. In due season, it would manifest itself. In fact, it was time to have a word with Malik because he was back, and whatever was going on between Malik and Margo was about to be loosed. As Malik’s last words were coming to him, the weekend anchor team of Good Morning America was running their story.

  We have a breaking story coming to you straight from the pages of Hollywood. Yesterday, in Fayetteville, North Carolina, the FBI brought down one of the most dangerous and sought after criminals in their files. Robert Santiago, a mob boss, was killed, as were a couple of his associates, as he attempted to have an old girlfriend assassinated at the funeral repast of her ex-husband, former police officer Hamilton Barnes. Hamilton Barnes, a former member of Santiago’s operation, was serving a life sentence in Central Prison in Raleigh, North Carolina, for murder in the deaths of Blake Montgomery and Marsha Wilson.

  This story began five years ago in Fayetteville, North Carolina, when Operation Stingray, headed up by Robert Santiago, blew apart at the seams. Operation Stingray was a cover for a large theft ring that purchased stolen weapons from Fort Bragg and sold them to a rebel group in Honduras—the birthplace of Mr. Santiago.

  Mr. Jefferson Myles, a Fayetteville businessman who was also a part of Operation Stingray, was convicted of embezzling funds from his corporation, Myles and Associates, and using the money to purchase the weapons. All went haywire when Jefferson Myles and Hamilton Barnes were gunned down by Robert Santiago because of internal problems. Both Myles and Barnes survived their ordeals, however, and stood trial for each of their separate indictments, eventually going to prison. Robert Santiago was not caught and eluded police for five years.

  We have learned that Santiago is also responsible for Hamilton Barnes’ death a week ago while Barnes was a prisoner in Central Prison. He is also responsible for the death of a prominent photographer here in New York, Donna Barnes Reardon, the cousin of Hamilton Barnes. It has been a month since Ms. Barnes Reardon’s death, with no arrests made. Such a bizarre turn of events, and it is still not known what the motive was for the murders. One can make a number of speculations.

  And, to add a twist to the bizarre tale, the ex-wife of Hamilton Barnes, Angelica Barnes, had moved to New York before Ms. Barnes Reardon was killed. Ms. Angelica Barnes had recently been released from prison for her part in Operation Stingray. We have also been told that Robert Santiago may have been tipped off by Barnes Reardon that Angelica was coming to New York, and eventually she, Angelica, became a guest in Mr. Santiago’s home.

  We will keep you updated as this story unfolds. Again, Mr. Robert Santiago of Operation Stingray has been killed.

  Jefferson sat with a blank stare on his face. The nightmare had not ended. His past kept coming up like yesterday’s vomit—a bad taste in his mouth. When would he get rid of it so he could resume the rest of his life?

  “You decided to be a bedside Baptist today, too?” Margo asked as she turned over to look at Jefferson.

  “No, I’m going to get up. I’ve got a lot of issues to sort through. Damn, I can’t believe that, even in death, Santiago continues to drag me down to the gutter with him. I paid the price for my bad deeds, and now the good old media wants to have a field day at my expense. Margo, I can’t take much more.”

  “What about your sermon this morning about being grateful to the Lord? You were passionate—had me believing that this was truly over and that we could now lead a normal life.”

  “Tell me about you and Malik.”

  A long silence ensued, except for the morning newsanchors, who were relating another heart-breaking story about a woman who was moving from one military town to another military town, marrying innocent soldiers without divorcing the previous ones and then having their babies.

  “Tell me about you and Malik,” Jefferson said again. “I want to know where I really stand in your life.”

  Margo finally sat up and leaned back on the headboard. She looked thoughtfully at Jefferson and parted her lips, although nothing came out. She wrapped her arms around her waist and breathed deeply, and when she could no longer hold it, the air flew out of her mouth. “I had sex with him, Jefferson.”

  The Good Morning America team faded to black as Jefferson pointed the remote and clicked the television off. He stood up from the bed, put on his robe, and paced the tiny space in the room without looking at Margo. He stopped in front of the lamp, jerked it from its socket and threw it across the room.

  “Say something, Jefferson. Be mad at me if you want. You forced me to tell you. Now say something.”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “Hell, I don’t know! But it wasn’t like you think.”

  “Wasn’t like I think? What kind of bull is that? You told me you had sex with Malik, and it’s not what I think? Hell, I’m not trying to visualize it, but the very thought of Malik touching you anywhere repulses me.” Jefferson rammed his hand into the wall. “I could kill him right now.”

  Margo threw her hand over her mouth. “Stop it, Jefferson. Haven’t we had enough killing for one week?”

  “Then tell me why, Margo, why? Do you love him? And don’t lie to me.”

  “You got some nerve, Jefferson Myles. I waited for you for five long years. I was a faithful wife every minute of those five years, even though you didn’t deserve my love and trust. I loved you in spite of your infidelity and the way you treated me, and I was the dutiful wife waiting for you when you returned.”

  “So, what happened when I returned? You were the one who told me that you were going to stand by me. And I wanted you to because I never stopped loving you. But from the moment I returned home, things were different…Malik was being different. His not showing up to the homecoming party should have been a sign.
I remember the day at the restaurant; he acted so strange. We haven’t had a real decent conversation. It was during that time, though, that I felt something was wrong. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but now I know. That’s why you couldn’t make love to me.”

  “But you’re wrong, Jefferson. Yes, Malik was falling in love with me, but I never committed to anything. In fact, I asked him to stop coming around. It wasn’t until I saw you with Angelica going into the hotel that I did run to him, and…it happened.”

  “And then you came home and made love to me or was it just sex. Are you telling me that you never thought about being with Malik? Do you know how it felt when you wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t sleep with me?”

  “Listen to me. Don’t make me out to be the bad person. I know very well how all of that feels…not to be touched, not being wanted because your flavor for the month was not chocolate.”

  “Okay, I asked for it. Let’s not bring that up.”

  “Why not, since we’re talking about indiscretions? Have I thought about being with Malik? The answer is yes. When I tried to get close to you, it was Malik I’d see. He was there for me during those five years you were gone. I depended on him for a lot of things, except sex. Foremost, he was a friend that I could count on. And when Antoinette died, he was a wreck, and I was there to nurse him back to health. I know you can’t understand how we could have such a friendship without it being sexual, but we managed.”

  “Humph, managed? Do you love him? You never answered the question.”

  “If I loved Malik, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you. That’s why we were arguing last night. I know what I did was wrong, but in my moment of weakness, I gave myself to him, and yes, I led him to believe that I wanted him the way he wanted me. I told him tonight that I loved you, and that you were the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.”

  Jefferson continued to pace with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was on his twenty-fifth revolution when Margo couldn’t take anymore.