“Well, I guess I should thank you for not going to Cooper.” Wayne stood up, once again twisting his hat in his hands and not quite meeting Eli’s eyes. “Your friend isn’t going to, is he?”
“He promised me he wouldn’t as long as you leave me alone.” Eli stood up to get his coat for the walk to class. “And you have no damned idea how much it took for me to get him to agree to back off. He’s a little twitchy about it. He even thinks you were following me about campus, and it really bothered him. So consider yourself warned.”
“Heard loud and clear. I don’t understand, though, why would he think I was following you? I swear I wasn’t.”
Eli frowned. There was genuine puzzlement on Wayne’s face. “Well, I thought that theory was going a little far myself. You have better things to do than skulk after me. Hanging around on campus and watching me teach isn’t going to bring you any money.”
“You can tell your friend that I wasn’t following you, and I don’t have any proof or any pictures of….” Wayne’s face turned a dull red. “Of anything that I really have no interest in seeing. I never took it that far.”
Eli shot him an amused glance, even as another knot of tension inside him eased. Pictures could do Ash far more damage than himself. There were still arguments over DADT, and it seemed like the repeal was stuck in a holding pattern. He didn’t want it to bite Ash in the ass when he was so close to finishing. “I’m glad to hear that. I’d be really pissed off if my friend got hurt because of it.”
“Yeah, well.” Wayne stuffed his hat on his head and then dug an envelope out of his pocket and threw it in Eli’s trash can. “I’m ashamed to say that I was thinking of forcing the issue. It’s over with, and I’ll not be bothering you again. I swear it.”
“Is that what I think it is?” Wayne nodded and Eli eyed the envelope with a groan. “I wish you’d just burned it and not told me.” Ash would flip his shit if he found out and Eli hated keeping things from him. At least he could point out that Wayne’s confession and his tossing of another note was a step in the right direction. He just hoped that Ash concentrated more on the tossing than on the existence of a second note.
“Well, I really needed to come clean. It’s been bugging me for months.” Wayne shrugged. “I guess I’m not cut out to be a criminal. My conscience kept eating away at me, and then when you told me that Jabbers got hurt that bugged me even more. He’s a good dog, always friendly.”
“Why did you? I know you were pissed about what my dad did to yours, but damn, Wayne, I thought we were friends.”
If anything, the other man looked even more shamefaced. “We are, or were, I guess. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to have nothing to do with me. After you offered to help last summer, my dad told me what had happened way back, and I got pissed. It felt like you were deliberately mocking me. I guess I went off a little bit, and Dad clammed up and refused to talk about it. So I just got it into my head that if I could find the card I’d just be recovering what was ours.”
Eli did not want to give Wayne his easy out and crush his dad at the same time by telling him about the card. Dammit, how the hell did he get into the middle of these things? He just wanted a nice, quiet life and a hot man beside him. That wasn’t too much to ask for.
“I can understand that reasoning, but I really wish you’d told me everything instead of searching my home and trashing my office.” The damage to his book still rankled.
“I was getting desperate. The medical bills were piling up, and I’d come to the conclusion that there wasn’t a box of cards buried in that junky attic of yours. You might want to clean that out. It’s a fire hazard.”
Eli’s lips twitched. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Then Dad told me he was thinking of selling the store. I figured if I just put a little pressure on you, you’d hand the card right over. After I left the note, I realized I’d fucked up. So I went to get it back and accidentally let Jabbers loose. I didn’t mean to, I swear. You never come home early from camp.”
Eli dug the envelope out of the trash and waved it before slapping it down on his desk, thoroughly exasperated. “Then for God’s sake, Wayne, if you felt so bad what made you write another note?”
“I was pissed about the way you confronted me, even more pissed because I can’t go into Dingers now without Neil eyeballing me or Lu saying something snippy. I was going to demand you give me the card or I’d slip that note under Britton’s office door. Then I heard the way that old bastard rode you and it didn’t seem right. And since I came clean about everything else, I had to tell you about the note too.”
“See, I told my friend that you weren’t a hardened criminal. It’s nice to know that my instincts aren’t completely off base.” Eli ripped the envelope into many pieces and tossed it in the trash.
“Thanks Eli, for the advice, and giving me another chance.”
Eli smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder. “You’ll figure out a way, and if not we’ll find that damned baseball card together.”
They walked out together, and Eli locked the door behind him. He wanted to get out of there before another one of his nemeses showed up. It was like convergence of the bad guys. All he needed to make it complete was to have Whitney show up with a ball gag and restraints.
At least that was one worry he could check off his list. His confrontation with Britton continued to grate on him, but at least his meeting with Wayne had gone far better than he could’ve hoped. It was over with, and he couldn’t wait to tell Ash.
Only Ash didn’t show up for class.
Jabbers scrambled up the stairs to Ash’s apartment, his tail wagging in anticipation of seeing his favorite friend. Ash hadn’t shown up for class today and he hadn’t answered any of Eli’s calls or text messages. Perhaps Ash had a good reason for missing it and not calling, and here Eli was, rushing over, worrying over nothing. But it wasn’t like him to skip class, period. He took his classes far more seriously than Eli had when he was in college. He had to trust his intuition. And his intuition screamed that something was wrong.
Eli knocked on the door, then again, harder, when there was no response. Ash’s truck was parked around back. With the cutting wind, Eli couldn’t picture him walking anywhere, so he had to be home.
“Go the fuck away,” Ash snarled from within.
Eli’s brows shot up. A prudent man would take Ash’s words and belligerent tone of voice to heart and leave. He wasn’t a prudent man. He banged on the door again, louder this time. “I’m not going anywhere until we talk.”
There was more cursing, followed by the sound of breaking glass. Jabbers sat back on his haunches and scratched the door with a little whine. His concern growing, Eli tried the door and found it unlocked. The scent of bourbon hit him first as he stepped inside.
Ash looked over from the couch, his eyes bleary and bloodshot, his face florid. “Dammit, ya made me break the glass.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, the anger in his voice fading to misery. “Go away, Eli, Ah don’ wanna see anyone right now.”
Eli shut the door behind him, shocked to his core. Of all the scenarios he’d imagined, finding Ash dead drunk in the late afternoon didn’t even make his list. “For Christ’s sake, Ash, what happened?” His heart twisted as he came closer and saw the shimmer of unshed tears in Ash’s green eyes.
“What the fuck do you care? Jus’ leave me alone.” Ash groped for the bottle on the table, with maybe an inch of bourbon left inside, and Eli swooped down and took it right out of his hand. “Jabbers, you stay over there!” Eli snapped as the beagle tried to come toward the broken glass littering the floor to one side of the coffee table. Jabbers sat down and let out a mournful howl. “And quit that.”
“Fuck,” Ash muttered, trying to grab for the bottle and missing. “That sound goes right through my skull. Fuckin’ give it back and go ’way.”
“I care more than you think, and you’re not touching the rest of this.” Ignoring Ash’s protests, Eli went into the
kitchen and dumped the bourbon down the drain. What the hell had gotten into him? Had Ash’s superiors found out about their relationship and he was being dishonorably discharged? The thought made him fucking furious.
The sound of retching broke through his thoughts, and Jabbers started howling again. Eli cursed and ran back to the living room. Ash had managed to stumble his way to the bathroom, the beagle pawing at him with little yelps between his howls. A headache started to throb at Eli’s temples as the reek of vomit clung to the sickly sweet odor of bourbon. Eli had never been so grateful for having a strong stomach.
“Get out, Jabbers, now,” Eli said firmly, wishing that he’d left the beagle behind. The dog slunk away, head down, tail dragging, his entire body slumped in dejection. He was the worst for getting his feelings hurt at the most inopportune times. Eli grabbed a washcloth and dampened it, laying it on the back of Ash’s neck as he heaved his guts out.
Eli pressed his lips together and started the shower. By the time he had found some towels for them both, Ash had stopped and knelt up to bury his head in his arms on the sink. “Come on, Georgia,” Eli murmured, helping the trembling man to his feet. He didn’t look good, his freckles stood out stark against skin drained of color. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
He forced Ash to drink a glass of water, undressed them both, and pulled him into the shower, letting the hot water rush over them. On a normal day he never would’ve been able to manhandle Ash into doing a damn thing he didn’t want, but clearly this was far from a normal day.
“Ah don’t need yer help,” Ash growled, pulling away and bracing his arms against the tiles.
Eli refused to let that rejection sting. Not now, when Ash needed him. “Too bad, I’m not going anywhere.”
A low animal-like moan came from Ash’s lips, and Eli thought his heart would break. He rubbed a hand over the short fuzz of Ash’s hair. He wanted to ask what had happened, but Ash was such a private man, rarely speaking about himself. Eli didn’t want him spilling his guts and then regretting it in the morning. If Ash wanted him to know what had caused this meltdown, he’d tell him when he was sober.
Ash shook his head hard, which turned out to be a mistake when he dry heaved again. Gently, Eli wiped a washcloth over Ash’s face and held him as his shoulders shook. He’d never seen Ash with his guard down, fuck down, it was completely shattered to pieces. “Come on, Ash, let’s get some more water in you, some boxers on, and into bed you go. You need to sleep this off.”
Ash clutched his arm with surprising strength and looked at him with bloodshot eyes. The vulnerability in them made Eli’s throat close up. “Don’t leave me alone here, Eli. Ah’m sorry Ah yelled at ya. Don’t leave.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Eli ushered him out of the shower and wrapped a towel around him, leading Ash to his bedroom. “I’ll be here in the morning when you wake up cursing a blue streak over the throbbing in your head and the fire in your guts.”
He wasn’t going anywhere. God help him, he was in love with the man.
“Yer too nice. Anyone ever tell ya that?” Ash slurred as Jabbers crawled out from under the bed to watch them.
“I have a temper that’s too short and I’ve let it loose more times than I care to remember,” Eli replied and gave Ash a slight push. He stumbled and sprawled out across the mattress with a soft groan, immediately wrapping his arms around the pillow.
“But not a mean temper,” Ash mumbled. “Ya keep givin’ people chances long after they’ve stopped deserving them. Wow. Ah think the bed’s spinning. Make it stop.”
Eli tugged the damp towel from Ash’s hips and pulled a blanket over him. It would be too much effort to wrestle him into a pair of boxers. “I think you’re gonna have to suffer for a little bit, love. You’re completely sloshed with bourbon.” He patted Jabbers’s head as the beagle jumped up on the bed and laid his head across Ash’s ankles.
“Ooooohhh, that’s better.”
Eli’s mouth twitched as toes wiggled out from under the blanket. What was he going to do with Ash? There was no denying how he felt any longer, and the thought of Ash leaving in the spring would give him a fit if he wasn’t determined to take this whole relationship one day at a time. Just as Ash had said, they didn’t know what each day would bring. Eli wasn’t going to worry about tomorrow anymore. He was going to enjoy every moment he did have.
He closed the blinds, dimming the room. Night was falling and soon there wouldn’t be anything to disturb Ash sleeping off his drunken fit.
“Ya gonna give me another chance?”
“I wasn’t aware that you needed another chance.” Eli walked back to him and sat on the edge of the bed. Ash’s eyes were half-closed and focused on him. “But if it would make you feel better, you can have as many chances as you want.”
Ash tensed as grief crumpled his face again. “Ah left ’em behind. All of ’em, Mike an’ Kurtis an’….”
Eli frowned and touched his finger to Ash’s lips as his heart sank. “Everybody has to decide for themselves when to stay and when to get out. Isn’t that what you said to me?” Something must’ve happened to one of them. Weren’t they due to come back home any day now? He hated seeing Ash like this and being helpless to soothe his pain. “You can’t start blaming yourself for knowing when it was your time to find something else to do with your life.”
“Can’t go ta sleep. Ah need another drink.” Ash tried to push himself back up, and Eli pushed him back down again.
“Ash, if you try to get up again, I’ll tie you to the bed.”
Ash snorted, getting tangled up in the sheet. “Like ta see ya try.”
“I’m closer to the kink drawer than you, and your coordination is shot.” Eli wrestled Ash back down as Jabbers got into the mix, licking both of them impartially. Ash cursed and threw his arms over his face, groaning.
“Why’d ya bring that demon mutt?” Ash muttered, grabbing the blanket and tugging it up again.
“Because he loves you too and was just as worried as me.” Eli tensed but Ash didn’t seem to notice his slip of the tongue. Now was not the time to confess his feelings or wonder whether or not they were returned.
At least the man was distracted from his grief. Kurtis and Mike…. Eli recognized their names. Ash had served with them and considered the men to be like family. There were two others that Ash sent care packages to, but Eli couldn’t recall their names at the moment. Something had to have happened to one of them. At least he hoped it was only one of them and not all of them. That would be the only reason why Ash would’ve gotten so lit up. “Now close your eyes. We can talk about it when you wake up.”
“Ah need the phone. Case Jamie calls.” Eli worried that Ash would try to get back up, but whatever reserves he’d had left seemed to have deserted him. His eyes were closed now, his words coming out slower and softer as Eli gently rubbed his back. “Don’t leave.”
“Georgia, you’re going to have a tough time getting rid of me. I’ll wake you up if Jamie or one of your sisters call.” He didn’t think Ash even heard the last part, the sound of his even breathing telling Eli he’d passed out. “You staying for me?” he asked Jabbers, who’d entrenched himself by Ash’s feet, and the beagle thumped his tail. He never left Eli when he was sick, so he trusted the dog to stay by Ash and raise a fuss if he got sick again.
Eli began picking up the broken glass in the living room and then mopped up the spilled bourbon. Ash would not appreciate smelling that when he woke up. A black box had fallen on the floor and been half-kicked under the couch. Curious, Eli scooped it up. Nestled inside was a Purple Heart, the medal bordered with gold.
He sighed and set it on the coffee table where Ash would be able to find it in the morning. The cleaning done, Eli settled down on the couch with the laptop he’d retrieved from the Jeep and prayed that the phone wouldn’t ring and bring more bad news.
Chapter Eighteen
Ash groaned as he awoke to a pounding head and a churning stomach. He pulled a pi
llow over his head with a curse as he tasted the stale bourbon in his mouth. What the fuck had he been thinking? He never got drunk, and for the life of him he could not remember partying the night before. He hadn’t partied in years.
Then the frantic phone call from Melanie came back to him. Ash’s stomach lurched, and he almost hurled right there in his bed before he managed to clamp down the reaction. Gritting his teeth, Ash turned his face into the pillow.
Mike was dead and Kurtis injured. She didn’t know how bad, only that he was coming home to go to Walter Reed Hospital. That had to be a good sign, that he was stable enough to travel. Please, God, let it be a good sign.
Ash rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes to block out the trickle of light coming through the blinds. Mike. Ash’s hand flexed, and he touched the scars on his side as memories ripped through him. The stunned pain, the absolute panic as he realized he was pinned and the fires were creeping closer. Couldn’t move, couldn’t barely breathe past the smoke and fumes.
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